The weak shall inherit the gym

[bigDman]

After hearing about all the bannings of dogeball and tag in school. My english teacher made us read this article and I thought it was halrious


Not to alarm you, but America is going softer than left-out butter. Exhibit 9,137: Schools have started banning dodgeball.

I kid you not. Dodgeball has been outlawed by some school districts in New York, Texas, Utah and Virginia. Many more are thinking about it, like Cecil County, Md., where the school board wants to ban any game with "human targets." Personally, I wish all these people would go suck their Birkenstocks.

Human targets? What's tag? What's a snowball fight? What's a close play at second? Neil Williams, a physical education professor at Eastern Connecticut State, says dodgeball has to go because it "encourages the best to pick on the weak." Noooo! You mean there's weak in the world? There's strong? Of course there is, and dodgeball is one of the first opportunities in life to figure out which one you are and how you're going to deal with it.

We had a bully, Big Joe, in our seventh grade. Must have weighed 225 pounds, used to take your underwear while you were in the shower and parade around the locker room twirling it on his finger. We also had a kid named Melvin, who was so thin we could've faxed him from class to class. I'll never forget the dodgeball game in which Big Joe had a ball in each hand and one sandwiched between his knees, firing at our side like a human tennis-ball machine, when, all of a sudden, he got plunked right in his 7-Eleven-sized butt. Joe whirled around to see who'd done it and saw that it was none other than Melvin, all 83 pounds of him, most of it smile.

Some of these New Age whiners say dodgeball is inappropriate in these times of horrifying school shootings. Are you kidding? Dodgeball is one of the few times in life when you get to let out your aggressions, no questions asked. We don't need less dodgeball in schools, we need more!

I know what all these NPR-listening, Starbucks-guzzling parents want. They want their Ambers and their Alexanders to grow up in a cozy womb of noncompetition, where everybody shares tofu and Little Red Riding Hood and the big, bad wolf set up a commune. Then their kids will stumble out into the bright light of the real world and find out that, yes, there's weak and there's strong and teams and sides and winning and losing. You'll recognize those kids. They'll be the ones filling up chalupas. Very noncompetitive.

But Williams and his fellow wusses aren't stopping at dodgeball. In their Physical Education Hall of Shame they've also included duck-duck-goose and musical chairs. Seriously. So, if we give them dodgeball, you can look for these games to be banned next:

Tag. Referring to any child as it is demeaning and hurtful. Instead of the child hollering, "You're it!" we recommend, "You're special!"

Red Rover. Inappropriate labeling of children as animals. Also, the use of the word red evokes Communist undertones.

Sardines. Unfairly leaves one child alone at the end as the loser -- a term psychologists have deemed unacceptable.

Hide-and-seek. No child need hide or be sought. The modern child runs free in search of himself.

Baseball. Involves wrong-headed notions of stealing, errors and gruesome hit-and-run. Players should always be safe, never out.

Hopscotch. Sounds vaguely alcoholic, not to mention demeaning to our friends of Scottish ancestry.

Marbles. Winning others' marbles is overly capitalistic.

Marco Polo. Mocks the blind.

Capture the flag. Mimics war.

Kick the can. Unfair to the can.

If we let these PC twinkies have their way, we'll be left with:

Duck-duck-duck. Teacher spends the entire hour patting each child softly on the head.

Upsy down. The entire class takes turns fluffing the gym teacher's pillow before her nap.

Swedish baseball. Players are allowed free passage to first, second or third, where they receive a relaxing two-minute massage from opposing players.

Smear the mirror. Students take turns using whipped cream to smear parts of their reflection they don't like, e.g., the fat they have accrued from never doing a damn thing in gym class.

http://www.drwoolard.com/issues/weak_inherit.htm

[Kevin T.]

I like it. I like Rick Reilly.

[Mahler]

Children's games are a healthy outlet for aggression.
Remove the outlet; increase the aggression.
These policies are all going to backfire.

[Jokerz]

i try my part to keep the kids in the neighborhood healthy, we hold daily dodgeball, football hide and seek and countless other games, all ages are welcomed usualy age range is 5-21 lol

but yea it is ludicris to take away a game because a kids feelings might hurt because billy goosed him instead of ducking him

[jj]

That could quite be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I can't believe they are trying to take dodgeball out of school. Unbelievable!

[RacerBill]

That Swedish baseball sounds like it could be fun!

[Howard_Rourke]

My son Jake (6th grade) is playing a version of dodgeball called Kings and Queens in gym right now. Anyone heard of it?

[Mahler]

Originally Posted by Howard_Rourke

My son Jake (6th grade) is playing a version of dodgeball called Kings and Queens in gym right now. Anyone heard of it?

It will be gone soon. Someone will object to the use of the word "Queens."

[Howard_Rourke]

Originally Posted by Mahler

It will be gone soon. Someone will object to the use of the word "Queens."

Perhaps up North but I've found things a little different down here. It's a lot more like the America in which I grew up.

[pjb923]

Wow, that is funny, but really sad at the same time.

It reminds me of this article.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43441

[chris_f]

my favorite variation was prison ball. If you were hit, you ended up in "jail," standing behind the opposing teams line of people. If one of your team members threw it over the opposing teams heads and you caught it, you were able to run free back to your side, but had to drop the caught ball on the opposing teams side (you couldn't bring it back with you).

As a variation in our school gym, if you sank a shot into the basketball net, your entire team was freed at once.

[cagiantfan]

I read this earlier, OMG what next. They can't use crayons because people of color may take offense..

I remember being in school and playing "kill ball" in the wrestling room, you had to try and slam dunk a volleyball over the chin up bar and it was pretty much anything goes.. Brutal but fun and we did this during PE class..

[Mountain_marc]

Another text that is fitting to this subject:

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby
cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took
hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because:

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the
bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have, Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound,
CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside to find them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks
and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not
put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them....
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of
our lives

[fayman]

I'm continually amazed at what little interest my daughter has in going outside to play.

"But 'The Sweet Life of Zack and Cody' is going to be on!!"

To which I usually reply, "Not if I can help it! Go outside!"

I remember getting in trouble almost every night for not coming in early enough. I think I was grounded more for getting dirty playing outside than anything else, including beating on my sister!

And meeting up with your friends outside after dark? Forget about it...That was the GREATEST! That's when the real fun happened.

[laxcdn]

Originally Posted by Mountain_marc

Another text that is fitting to this subject:

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby
cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took
hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because:

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the
bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have, Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound,
CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside to find them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks
and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not
put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them....
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of
our lives

Times change though. You had TV's and your parents didn't, you had cars and your parents probably didn't some of you had telephones and some parents didn't. You can still have all the new stuff, just limit it. I find too many parents coddle there children too much. If my kids falls down and hurts himself I will ask if he is ok and leave it at that unless it is really bad. I will tell him once or twice to do something and if he doesn't and hurts himself I will ask if he is ok and if then tell him I told him so. I also don't like the new fighting rules they have at my son's school. IF there is a fight both kids get suspened. I have told my son the 3 step rule. If someone hits you tell them to stop, if they do it again tell the teacher, if it still happen then crank them as hard as you possibly can. I will deal with the office.

I think people don't let their kids outside by themselves because of what they read and see. A lot of this comes from instant information and people hearing about someone going missing. People went missing when we grew up but you never heard about it so people didn't get paranoid about their kids. People have to learn to let go and don't worry so much, stop reading papers and watching the news and just deal with their life. I don't read the papers, watch the news and I like it that way.

[Lost Dog]

Originally Posted by fayman

I'm continually amazed at what little interest my daughter has in going outside to play.

"But 'The Sweet Life of Zack and Cody' is going to be on!!"

To which I usually reply, "Not if I can help it! Go outside!"

I remember getting in trouble almost every night for not coming in early enough. I think I was grounded more for getting dirty playing outside than anything else, including beating on my sister!

And meeting up with your friends outside after dark? Forget about it...That was the GREATEST! That's when the real fun happened.

mine, too. "But, it's my favorite episode..."