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This is a quote from a parent of a 10-year old kid who played 127 baseball games over 9 months which required a 2 hour 45 min. drive to play for just one of his teams:
"You don't MAKE children do this. Children DESIRE this. OUR goals seem far-fetched now, but if he puts the effort from here on that he's put in so far, he'll succeed."
Funny...OUR goals...his effort????
Bill Hartman, HARTMAN certified
REF: Sports Illustrated Oct 6, 2003. A great article for discussion.
Pathetic. I'll bet you that the parent in that case never played organized sports him/herself.
When I played competitive junior tennis, my parents never came to a single match to watch. That was fine with me. I used to see parents of kids I'd beat berating the kids for the loss after a match, the kids crying and the parent screaming at them for 'playing so badly'. In some cases, the parents would say, "If you don't want to take it seriously and work harder at it, I'll take your raquets away," to which the kid would reply "Take them away. I don't care!" Who's playing this for whom??
By the time I was 16 and 17 years old and saw this, I wanted to scream at those parents, "Go get your own life!"
Now I've seen the same thing at soccer games for 8 year-olds. Parents all screaming instructions at their kids, berating them and telling them what to do better when they walk off the field instead of congratulating them and asking them if they had fun. It seems in most cases, these are the parents who look as though they've never been athletic in their own lives. The ones who I know have played some HS or college sports bide their time quietly on the sideline, saying or cheering very little.
What does this parental behavior teach the kids? Winning is the most important thing? If you can't win, don't try? Fun and exercise are secondary to results? Thank God my kids are still young and you virtually never see this sort of thing in 3-5 year old T-ball. [img]smile.gif[/img]
In our house, my 6 year old son always gets to determine what he wants to play and if he wants to take a class or enter an organized league. Our only rule is that he at least try everything once. So sometimes, we are playing baseball in the dead of winter, or football in May! Always his choice. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Michael Jordan once said "Make the game fun for the kid. Have fun first, learn later." If you decide to continue with the sport, you'll enjoy it much more that way.
If you look at some of the greatest athletes (traditionally), I don't think they were pushed all that hard by their parents. Muhammad Ali. Jordan. Walter Payton.
The era of the parent pushing to the extreme really came to it's own, IMO, with the prominence of Tiger Woods, who everyone saw as being molded since the age of 4 by his father. The same could be said of the Williams sisters in tennis. And Andre Agassi. But before the marketing hype had people seeing dollar signs in their kids eyes, you had kids playing because they enjoyed it. Hopefully, for every Tiger Woods type youth, there will be 100 kids who play and their parents have nothing to do with it.
Sadly, I saw an article about a four year old skateboarder who is amazing and has sponsorship contracts- no money yet, but a lot of goods. 4 years old. Very sad. His parents claim they don't push him, that he loves the sport. I hope that is true. But in the picture of the boy and them, the parents were also wearing shirts from one of his sponsors.
In the same sports Illustrated article they showed a 10 year old girl who has set numerous national age group records in swimming
BUT
Also is a concert violinist, pianist, golfer, actress, and surfer!!!
He Mom seems very cool..."I hope when she chooses, she has a passion for it. It may be neither [music or sports]."
What a difference a parent can make!
"You know...you need a license to drive a car or to catch a fish, but they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a parent."
Keanu Reeves from the movie "Parenthood"
(Truly THE philosopher of our time)
Pathetic. I'll bet you that the parent in that case never played organized sports him/herself.
Kaiser you are right on. My son (9) plays whatever he is interested at the time. Some of the parents and coaches at these games literally make me sick to my stomach. You can see the life being sucked right out of the kids.
The philosophy should be simple, have fun! Win, lose or draw it really does not matter, JUST HAVE FUN!
As sad as it is I think coaches and parents should have to attend mandatory classes on behavior and then sign a contract stating you will adhere certain rules or you must leave. I am not sure if that is the best answer, but it makes me so sad and angry to see some so called “authority” figures take the fun out of the games our children play.
Back to lurking
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Motivation determines what you do...Attitude determines how well you do it
One of my biggest pet peeves is the parent looking to live or re-live his/her athletic career through their kids. Many of these parents have never suceeded in sports and their child's success is, in fact, THEIR success.
I love my parents very much (my father passed away several years ago), they never did anything but encourage me to do what was fun for me. I developed athleticism later than most but went on to have a great Division I collegiate football career due the guidance of my parents and of course my coaches. I will do the same thing my parents did with my own daughter (whom, I am sure will be a world champion gymnast, ice skater, weightlifter due to her genetic gifts.. ). Seriously though, what do some of these parents think?! Get a life!
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Robert dos Remedios, MA, CSCS,
HCC (Hartman-Cosgrove Certified)
Director of Speed, Strength & Conditioning
College of the Canyons, CA http://www.canyons.edu/departments/pe/strength
"NO CHAMPION HAS EVER ACHIEVED HIS OR HER GOAL WITHOUT SHOWING MORE DEDICATION THAN THE NEXT PERSON; MAKING MORE SACRIFICES THAN THE NEXT PERSON; WORKING HARDER, TRAINING, AND CONDITIONING HIM / HERSELF MORE THAN THE NEXT PERSON; ENJOYING HIS / HER FINAL GOAL MORE THAN THE NEXT PERSON"
That kind of pushing is just disgraceful. The reason that so many of the greatest athletes in the world love the sports they play so much is because they made the choice to do it and no one was shoving them full-force into something they had no desire to do.
The commom interest and intrigue with an activity is what sparks the imagination of the child to dream of being the greatest in that activity and work toward that dream day after day after day. Not the pushing of a parent into that activity and the dull agrivating sound of the ignorant parent yelling at the child to fulfil thier own dreams,not the childs.
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Crunches, the ultimate ab workout.
That is like at all those 5 year old beauty pageants, where the little girls are so 'made up' and being pushed by (usually) their moms. It's pathetic. The stress on them is horrendous.
And the mother's doing the pushing are almost ALWAYS, overweight and out of shape themselves. The parents obviously indulge and then expect their kids to live out their fantasies.
It's revolting.
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If you weren't born drop dead gorgeous, be thankful for the opportunity to develop character first.
I think the 127 games was an exaggeration by his parents cause you can't force a child to play this much. What if yeah he has a promising career in baseball and when he grew up and just quit. Those hard games will literally come into waste. sports are meant to be played by heart not buy force.
). Seriously though, what do some of these parents think?! Get a life!
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