That's awesome that your lowest burn is ~2000cals! Goes against some of the calculators I'm sure. If my burn is this high, I know that a few weeks ago, I was logging crazy huge STUPID deficits of 1300-1600+ cals/day. I would life full-body HEAVY supersetting with no rest periods for 50min follwed by 30-45min cardio....trying to keep my cals low - under 1000 on some days. WHY!!??? Gawd, I don't know why. I figured this was the way, as Leigh puts it, "to get in and get out". My way was obviously way too extreme though.
Actually, when I used Leigh's activity calculator, it gave me a number pretty close to what the GWF gives me on average. So it's been mentally soothing to see the numbers coincide--made it much more difficult to tell myself I was the special case Leigh says is so rare.
Yeesh, that is a big deficit, and some crazy workouts! Luckily I came across Leigh's work just as I was starting to explore HIIT and the like. Hearing about the importance of rest came at just the right time for me--I already don't sleep well, so it was good to hear about all the crazy stuff that can happen if you don't get adequate rest.
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Originally Posted by PlankIt
I've never had my rmr tested but all of the calculations I've done return a depressingly low number.
hijack/And Scribess - thank you for sharing your experience!
No problem! Reading other logs here has certainly helped me. It's nice to be able to return the favor.
About RMR--I did have mine tested at a gym, before reading about Leigh's reasons why if you have it done, it's best to go through a college. I will say that the gym's test with "daily activity not including exercise" is for me is lower than what GWF measures and what Leigh's activity calculator gave me, FWIW.
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They call me Amanda, that being my real name, and "They" being people who know me in person as I don't go around introducing myself in real life as "scribess." 'Cause that would just be strange.
I can imagine just how reassuring it is to get an objective measurment of your activity - it has always been the biggest question mark in my weight loss attempts, and I"m sure for many others. I hope I'm not the exception either!!
The deficit and workouts seemed ok for a while; I even lost my hunger signals and thought "YES!", now I can keep up at this level and not even be hungry!... Right. I was doing intervals, HIIT, weights, you name it and making an effort to eat as little as possible. For my health, I would think...
My sleep was almost nonexistent for a while, but over the past couple of weeks, I have been getting a good 7-9 hours uninterrupted (unless I have to pee). I hope over time I will actually start to FEEL rested though.
The logs here are so helpful - I've been spending a lot of time reseasrching and reading over the past few days. I see you're starting OPT (Remix?) soon!! I'll definitely be following along
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribess
Actually, when I used Leigh's activity calculator, it gave me a number pretty close to what the GWF gives me on average. So it's been mentally soothing to see the numbers coincide--made it much more difficult to tell myself I was the special case Leigh says is so rare.
Yeesh, that is a big deficit, and some crazy workouts! Luckily I came across Leigh's work just as I was starting to explore HIIT and the like. Hearing about the importance of rest came at just the right time for me--I already don't sleep well, so it was good to hear about all the crazy stuff that can happen if you don't get adequate rest.
No problem! Reading other logs here has certainly helped me. It's nice to be able to return the favor.
About RMR--I did have mine tested at a gym, before reading about Leigh's reasons why if you have it done, it's best to go through a college. I will say that the gym's test with "daily activity not including exercise" is for me is lower than what GWF measures and what Leigh's activity calculator gave me, FWIW.
I felt pretty tired, lethargic and pooey for most of the day yesterday. I just sat and rested and ate and napped. My stomach was VERY upset, although not sure why....didn't eat anything abnormal. I started my K+ supplementation yesterday, so I'm hopeful this will help regulate my water levels. I went to bed with an aching distended stomach, so I took some Pepto before hitting the hay. I woke up a few hours later to pee (which hasn't happened in a while), so maybe the extra water is making its exit??! I peed like a racehorse, and again when I woke up in the morning, so I think this is a good sign.
Macros yesterday were closer to goal: 1106 cals (27F, 105C, 114P)
Unfortunately, I still felt crappy when I woke up though - awake, but not awake. Puffy lids, half-closed eyes, just difficult to get going! My hands and feet were puffy and holding water, but my legs do feel better (less like 2 lead poles). I'm just so tired though these past few days...sluggish, lethargic. The thought of doing much else aside from sitting and typing has been exhausting! Although I will say that I feel like I'm coming around.....could be the 2 cups of coffee I've already thrown back . I actually have a good feeling about today (aside from all this negative-Nancy shiznit)...could this be the day I get my energy back? I honestly think it's the 10 lbs of water that I hold when I have a carb-binge that makes me feel SOOOOO tired for a week. Mental note: do NOT do this again! I think I really need to work on gradually increasing the carbs daily and not going all out in an attempt to correct things more quickly. I'm not giving my system enough time to adjust I don't think..
I made a Dr's appointment for this Monday...just to investigate the water retention in case there is something medical I should be worried about. I mean geez, what if it's my kidney function!? Although given the pattern of fluid weight, I doubt it.
Morning Temp = 98.1 (boo-yah!)
Didn't take my resting HR (I was up to pee and to let the cat out too quickly!)
I wish all I needed was OPT Remix! I've got enough fat to lose that I'm on the regular version.
Sleep is probably the thing I need to work on most. GWF has me maxing out at 6.75 hours, and I'm getting there maybe once or twice a week. Haven't been able to figure out yet what keeps making me wake up.
Anyway, glad to see your morning temp is still increasing! You're probably right on feeling crappy due to increasing carbs too quickly. I do remember reading that Leigh recommends reintroducing them slowly if you've been limiting them for a long while, so it's less a shock to the body.
Also, I think I read you're taking probiotics. Did you start those recently? If so, you could be experiencing a "die-off" effect from the bad bacteria kicking the bucket.
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They call me Amanda, that being my real name, and "They" being people who know me in person as I don't go around introducing myself in real life as "scribess." 'Cause that would just be strange.
GAWD I have so many of your symtoms it sucks! I never really known anyone else to mention the leg issue and the joint pain too. I sure get both of those. I get bloated too, not terrible but edema in my arms and lower legs a lot. I been taking potassium and using mortons light salt.
Oh and how much and what form of Mag are you taking? I read that Mag Citrate is not so hot on the belly, but Mag Chelated is the best to take to work and prevent stomach upset/diarreha...
GAWD I have so many of your symtoms it sucks! I never really known anyone else to mention the leg issue and the joint pain too. I sure get both of those. I get bloated too, not terrible but edema in my arms and lower legs a lot. I been taking potassium and using mortons light salt.
Oh and how much and what form of Mag are you taking? I read that Mag Citrate is not so hot on the belly, but Mag Chelated is the best to take to work and prevent stomach upset/diarreha...
Hey Morgan!
Yes, the leg pain (general ache ALL day) happens when I have upper leg edema, and it's very frustrating. Sometimes the thought of even walking up a flight of stairs is exhausting! The fluid is slowly going from this most recent episode, but geez it has taken almost a week. I can't go through this again! I'm really working on gradually getting those carbs up there, so my body is better able to handle them. I hope it doesn't take too long though.....
I started with potassium (about 600-700mg/day because I do get a fair bit in my diet) and magnesium citrate 250mg just 1x/day. I couldn't find the chelated type.
How long have you struggled with the edema issue? It's the one symptom I would do ANYTHING to get rid of. I'm hoping it is due mostly to prior carb restriction, but I'm not entirely sure.
I've been doing well with the repair program, and even keeping my carbs higher than recommended for the rest period...even if I gain a bit of weight, I don't care. I just want my system to normalize!!
Yes, the leg pain (general ache ALL day) happens when I have upper leg edema, and it's very frustrating. Sometimes the thought of even walking up a flight of stairs is exhausting! The fluid is slowly going from this most recent episode, but geez it has taken almost a week. I can't go through this again! I'm really working on gradually getting those carbs up there, so my body is better able to handle them. I hope it doesn't take too long though.....
I started with potassium (about 600-700mg/day because I do get a fair bit in my diet) and magnesium citrate 250mg just 1x/day. I couldn't find the chelated type.
How long have you struggled with the edema issue? It's the one symptom I would do ANYTHING to get rid of. I'm hoping it is due mostly to prior carb restriction, but I'm not entirely sure.
I've been doing well with the repair program, and even keeping my carbs higher than recommended for the rest period...even if I gain a bit of weight, I don't care. I just want my system to normalize!!
Oddly enough I get the edema from too high carbs and then too low. Or low for a while. My salt/potassium balance might be off a bit too much.
Yeah, I would hope to get to tolerate carbs better too, I dunno what or why I feel so crap if I have them and why the BS goes up. I am finally feeling so far 100% today after having 300 gms of carbs 4 days ago, the last 3 days ~70 gms and finally I feel normal again go figure. Joint pain is less and leg pain too. I dunno but I do hate to be so restrictive with carbs really. I do prefer to naturally eat low-ish anyways but I would like it to not be a bid deal ya know.
Hmm, I have seen Chelated Mag at a few stores here. But I would take that if you can find it, I can try to find the link to where I read why taking that form is better. The nutritionist also mentioned somethign about Mag citrate being very poorly absorbed.
I hate that leg feeling too it sucks. I am once again holding back on a lot of my lower body exercise. I could NOT deadlift yesterday nor squat. Was NOT happening. My body is screaming at me really. Gah, I do miss jogging too but I know once I get this shit figured out it will be better. I mean I feel great eating <100 carb but I can't perform in the gym like I want nor is recovery that great.
Sorry I am rambling in your jouranl. I hope that you start to feel better soon too hun!
Oddly enough I get the edema from too high carbs and then too low. Or low for a while. My salt/potassium balance might be off a bit too much.
Yeah, I would hope to get to tolerate carbs better too, I dunno what or why I feel so crap if I have them and why the BS goes up. I am finally feeling so far 100% today after having 300 gms of carbs 4 days ago, the last 3 days ~70 gms and finally I feel normal again go figure. Joint pain is less and leg pain too. I dunno but I do hate to be so restrictive with carbs really. I do prefer to naturally eat low-ish anyways but I would like it to not be a bid deal ya know.
Hmm, I have seen Chelated Mag at a few stores here. But I would take that if you can find it, I can try to find the link to where I read why taking that form is better. The nutritionist also mentioned somethign about Mag citrate being very poorly absorbed.
I hate that leg feeling too it sucks. I am once again holding back on a lot of my lower body exercise. I could NOT deadlift yesterday nor squat. Was NOT happening. My body is screaming at me really. Gah, I do miss jogging too but I know once I get this shit figured out it will be better. I mean I feel great eating <100 carb but I can't perform in the gym like I want nor is recovery that great.
Sorry I am rambling in your jouranl. I hope that you start to feel better soon too hun!
The edema tends to occur in the same pattern for me! When I asked Leigh about it, I mentioned that I will start to retain water in two different scenarios. The first is if I eat low carb for a few days without refeeding and ESPECIALLY if I train and try to diet at the same time. Disasterous after a few days. I find this strange consider the general understanding is that refeeds are really only necessary after a more extended period of low-carbing (and the leaner, the more frequent). I'm certainly not super lean, but it's strange....it's almost as though my body THINKS I am. I've dieted to such extremes, I probably should be at a much lower BF%, so I think sometimes my body is just confused....if that makes sense.
The second scenario of water retention is if I decide to just screw-it and eat a LOT of carbs in a short period of time (300-400g approx in about 1/2 a day). I end up holding up to 15lbs of water for about a week! Crazy.... And THIS is the scenario I need to get under control. It's as though my body wants the carbs desperately but not TOO many or it will FREAK OUT!
Your high BS though is definitely a cause for concern. I've never checked mine during an episode, but it might be interesting to find out if it's elevated. You seem to do very well low-carb for the most part, but I actually do feel better on moderate carbs daily (well, in the past anyway...). I am really curious if I can get back to 'normal' without any wild fluctuations in edema and energy. And yes, the sore legs is the WORST. It makes me so irritable.
I may have to look harder for the chelated version. I think the other mineral supplementation is helping though! I feel better today, but hard to know if it's just the time factor (better every day) or the extra minerals. Meh, who knows?!
Even though I am strictly out of the gym for a few weeks, I could not have lifted this week if I tried! I was sore, tired, aching all week, so it was a breeze not going to the gym. When I feel good though, I WANT to go....it makes me feel normal and like my old self. But I know I have to rest or risk repeating the same cycle all over again.
And no apologies! Please ramble away!! Other experiences (especially yours) have been so helpful to me and also help me feel so NOT alone . I truly hope you feel better soon too!
Now all I just have to not go psycho over what it says....
How is your brain handling the rest? Starting to feel a little better?
Really?? That's awesome! I'm so excited to receive mine (read: anxious, nervous). I also hope I don't go obsessive-Amy about what it says!
My brain is SURPRISINGLY fine with the rest. I am 100% committed to this process, and I will not waiver. I am actually feeling resentment towards lifting and the gym lately. Somehow, my brain is telling me that working out like a maniac did this to me, and to NOT go back. I want to live a normal, everyday life, and if this means no gym, so be it. I am just fed up I guess, so I'm ready (SO ready!) for this.
I am feeling so much better today...thank gawd. How are you feeling?
I am FINALLY starting to feel better after last weekend's carb fiasco. I actually started to feel normal again yesterday afternoon - my eyes opened up, legs stopped aching and stomach became less sore/distended. I can only assume this was due to the last of the fluid leaving my limbs . But wow, a good 5 days of misery. Hopefully not going down that path again!!
Macros ended at 1377 cals yesterday (30f, 164c, 116p), so yep higher again than my 1100 goal. I know I should be staying nearer my calculated lower maintenance, but I'm not overly worried about weight gain and am much more concerned with getting my system back to normal as quickly as possible!
Still enjoying the rest too. I mentioned this in a previous post, but I'm beginning to feel resentment towards training, and the gym in general. I am certainly NOT itching to get back there anytime soon!
So, today was the first full day back to feeling fairly normal. I was able to have a regular busy Saturday (shopping, tanning, errands, friends over) without feeling completely run-down! Good stuff. My stomach was a bit upset (no bid surprise there), but I've been consistent with the digestive enzymes and probiotics, so hopefully over time...
I'm not sure really.... Sigh. I think because over-training was part of the probem, I'm having a difficult time feeling anything but resentment towards training. I think back to my intense supersetting training sessions followed my high intensity intervals, feeling like death but CONVINCING myself I was fine, and to push push push. I hope when it's time to get back to training, I will be mentally prepared to be moderate, to train SMART and to rest appropriately.
Trust me, I WANT to develop a healthy relationship with food and training, but mentally it's tough right now.
Putting working out ahead of feeling healthy is not uncommon on these boards. It's going to be difficult to break yourself of that old mindset, but if you can, you'll be further along both physically and mentally.
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Tom
No "happy hours" makes for a lot of miserable days. - Mahler
Putting working out ahead of feeling healthy is not uncommon on these boards. It's going to be difficult to break yourself of that old mindset, but if you can, you'll be further along both physically and mentally.
Thanks Tom . I am trying to be extremely mindful of my body these days - physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am taking this rest period to read, absorb, research and just generally wrap my head around what I've done wrong in the past and more importantly, what I can do presently and in the future to improve. I think (hope!!) when it's time to get back to the gym, I will have a completely different mindset! This REPAIR process is proving itself to be more valuable to my mental well-being than I could have imagined. I am learning so much, it's crazy.
I don't think eating over Leigh's calculations is bad. I remember her mentioning in a post on her board that the lower cals to begin are so people don't gain weight and freak out. I know in MRM she specifically says that some of her clients decided to just go for it and up the cals right to maintenance level--it's just that that results in more "side effects" that can be difficult to deal with. She's also mentioned that if you're not restricting as low to begin with, then you don't have to go lower.
Re: resenting training--I think I know what you mean. When I did my "reset period" based on MRM, I really valued my two weeks off of training because it gave me a chance to take care of myself on a more emotional level. It was also helpful because I used to have this idea that Bad Things (and that's seriously how I thought of it--with capital letters) would happen if I missed a day of training, let alone two or (gasp!) three. Then to be off for two weeks and gain hardly any weight (I think it was a pound at most) was almost anticlimatic--well, what was the bloody point of all that exercise if I didn't balloon up fifteen pounds from the break?
But of course there's so much more to training than just fat loss or even maintenance. It's a holistic thing.
I don't think I said any of that as clearly as I wanted. I guess my point is I hear you, sister.
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They call me Amanda, that being my real name, and "They" being people who know me in person as I don't go around introducing myself in real life as "scribess." 'Cause that would just be strange.
I don't think eating over Leigh's calculations is bad. I remember her mentioning in a post on her board that the lower cals to begin are so people don't gain weight and freak out. I know in MRM she specifically says that some of her clients decided to just go for it and up the cals right to maintenance level--it's just that that results in more "side effects" that can be difficult to deal with. She's also mentioned that if you're not restricting as low to begin with, then you don't have to go lower.
Re: resenting training--I think I know what you mean. When I did my "reset period" based on MRM, I really valued my two weeks off of training because it gave me a chance to take care of myself on a more emotional level. It was also helpful because I used to have this idea that Bad Things (and that's seriously how I thought of it--with capital letters) would happen if I missed a day of training, let alone two or (gasp!) three. Then to be off for two weeks and gain hardly any weight (I think it was a pound at most) was almost anticlimatic--well, what was the bloody point of all that exercise if I didn't balloon up fifteen pounds from the break?
But of course there's so much more to training than just fat loss or even maintenance. It's a holistic thing.
I don't think I said any of that as clearly as I wanted. I guess my point is I hear you, sister.
Thanks for the calorie tips! It's nice to have some encouragment about the higher cals becuase I was/am feeing a bit nervous. They are still consistently below what my maintenance SHOULD be, but I'm not sure how low my current maintenance is becuase of possible metabolic stuff. As for the clients that just decided to up the calories to maintenace, I wonder if they were still following the rest structure of the program or continuing to work out just on higher cals. Just curious I guess.
As for the training break, luckily my attitude is slowly changing day by day. I know I need some time to mentally accept the health benefits and positive attributes to training and being fit. I've just considered it to be "punishment for being too fat" for so long, I really need to work on developing a healthier relationship with fitness! And I totally get what you're saying about not ballooning up overnight. I get thinking 'ok, WHY am I working out so hard then if I can maintain my weight without it'?? Again, back to the holisitc and health benefits...need to focus!
And nah girl, you worded that perfectly! It's so cool that others can relate to these warped thoughts of mine!
Feeling much like ass today. My stomach is distended and therefore my pants are too tight against my protruding belly . Not sure why though...could be my body STILL adjusting to the increased carb intake (averaged about 130g daily over the past week...up from 30-50g prior to REPAIR), but I'm taking my digestive enzymes and probiotics pretty faithfully, so I hope these episodes will become less frequent as I journey through! I can tell I'm still holding fluid daily, and it seems to move around my body (wrists, face, stomach, legs, arms)....just GO already . I'm staying positive though, and giving my body the freedom and time to regroup and normalize.
I had a Dr's appt this morning, and I just broke down. I'm normally a rock, but he is such a great doc and a great listener, and he got me talking about what I thought the issues were/are, my struggles for perfection, my tendency to go to extremes in everything I do, etc. I swear my doctor is half MD/half therapist. I'm lucky though. My blood work is scheduled for Wednesday, and he's investigating all possible hormonal imbalances, and then we'll go from there. He suspects my symptoms ARE related to the overtraining and undereating and is optimistic that if this is the case, I should be able to reverse the damage done. That made me smiles . I just want to rule out any possibility of systemic problems that might be related to all these symptoms.
My energy levels were up and down all day, but more up than down. My complete lethargy seems to be dissipating, and I think of this as a sign of healing! I felt pretty stable and 'normal' yesterday afternoon as well. I'm lucky because my sleep hasn't suffered a whole lot, and I'm managing a good 7-8 hrs nightly.
Macros yesterday were higher again at 1589 cals (74f, 107c, 120p) and Saturday'scals were at 1528 (57f, 176c, 83p). I don't weigh myself as I rule, even though I can appreciate how useful it would be doing REPAIR. I just cannot handle the mental aspect of a scale number. I've been using the 'how my clothes are fitting' method for years. I hope I'm not gaining on this level of cals...my average for the last 7 days was about 1350. If I am, well then too bad! Cuz that's absurd, and my body is just going to have to adjust to my new intake. I'll get better no matter how much weight I gain...I'm through caring about that at this point. Plus, with all this fluid movement, I can't get a decent handle on what I really look like and how I really feel. So I'll just eat when I'm hungry and log everything....and hope for the best!
K, well I've rambled enough for one day! Hope everyone has a wonderful week!!
Hi Amy, sorry your still feeling so crappy. I went to the MD today too. Yeah, the scale can be donkey balls and play with your head. I think it is great your eating higher cals. I mean you should be maintaining with more than what you get in even. I don't think that the low low cals are close to your maintenance. Your high day is my average intake and I have a slowed metabolism as you know and am not gaining and my weight is on the low side. So I wouldn't worry. I bet your body likes getting that nutrition too.
Did you get the labs done yet? I am going for some draws hormonal levels and such tomorrow. Good luck with it. Oh, did the MD think there were any more allergies/sensitivities to any foods? I sure hope not.
I'm sorry your body has been going haywire on you with the water retention. I remember experiencing the same thing a couple years ago when I added back in starches after being low carb for so long. Fortunately you have an amazingly rational mind (though I know emotions are rarely/never so agreeable) and KNOW that:
-you are doing what is best for your body/health
-your goal IS worth it
-you are strong
-you are taking a smart approach
-the bloating will NOT last forever!
I don't think you have mentioned, but are you seeing an actual therapist? I can't imagine going through this without one, then again I come from a therapy-lovin' family.
And building off Morgan's questions - did he order a urine test as well?
Hi Amy, sorry your still feeling so crappy. I went to the MD today too. Yeah, the scale can be donkey balls and play with your head. I think it is great your eating higher cals. I mean you should be maintaining with more than what you get in even. I don't think that the low low cals are close to your maintenance. Your high day is my average intake and I have a slowed metabolism as you know and am not gaining and my weight is on the low side. So I wouldn't worry. I bet your body likes getting that nutrition too.
Did you get the labs done yet? I am going for some draws hormonal levels and such tomorrow. Good luck with it. Oh, did the MD think there were any more allergies/sensitivities to any foods? I sure hope not.
Hope you have a nice night hun.
Oh yeah, the scale and I are no longer friends, not even acquaintances . I just do not care what the number is, and if I do find out, I have a history of dwelling and dwelling and DWELLING. I don't have the time to devote to such nonsense!
You really think my cal level is ok?? I can't imagine I would be gaining at this, but crazier things have happened. I looked back through my food diary over the past few months, paying close attenttion to the weeks I had symptoms similar to now, and honestly my intake was not NEARLY as low as some of the case clients in the REPAIR manual (e.g. 1000 cals/day NO exceptions for years with weights and cardio 6-7 days/week ). Some weeks I've averaged 1600 cals, while others in the 1300-1400 cal range. So, I do hope my maintenance level is not too low. I'm getting anxious to get my GWF to get a bit of an objective insight. I think my body does like the nutrition because every day, I feel better and better. My hunger (luckily) has not been through the roof. It just feels average and normal, but not gnawing and insatiable.
My labs are scheduled for tomorrow, but it will be a while before the results are available...I'll just harass and call incessantly until I get the results! Haha, nah just kidding.
Honestly, I think the food intolerances are involved in this whole issue somehow. It's just very concidental that I developed a gluten sensitivity after 4 weeks of Lyle's RFL (which I should not have done). As for the nuts, same thing. I had almond milk last night as a test, and NO problems. I had Splenda too (caused huge GI upset in the past), and again no problems! I think my GI system is/has been messed up because of the metabolic issues and massive stress I've inflicted on my body. There is mention of GI issues in the REPAIR manual as an indicator of possible metaboic/hormonal issues. I am HOPING I will be able to eat gluten pain-free again, and honestly, I am VERY optimistic I will. My mom told me the other day that her mother's instinct told her this would all work out, and that I would be able to eat everything normally again Made me smiles. I am saving the gluten test for a later date though (maybe a couple more weeks)....it will be nerve-racking for sure!
How did your MD appointment go??
Thanks so so much again for your insight Morgan! Have a great day
I'm sorry your body has been going haywire on you with the water retention. I remember experiencing the same thing a couple years ago when I added back in starches after being low carb for so long. Fortunately you have an amazingly rational mind (though I know emotions are rarely/never so agreeable) and KNOW that:
-you are doing what is best for your body/health
-your goal IS worth it
-you are strong
-you are taking a smart approach
-the bloating will NOT last forever!
I don't think you have mentioned, but are you seeing an actual therapist? I can't imagine going through this without one, then again I come from a therapy-lovin' family.
And building off Morgan's questions - did he order a urine test as well?
So, this water retention won't last forever!!?? Although I realize this fact, it is SO reassuring to hear it from someone who has been through this mess
It is very tough to separate emotion from common-sense and perserverance, and honestly, in the past, I woud have caved by now. I guess I'm just fed up and actually ready this time to take this on!
Thank you SO much for your kind words - I got a little teary there. I have to remember all of those points you wrote because you hit the nail on the head. I KNOW this is for the best and for my long-term health and happiness (repeat incessantly )
No, I'm not seeing a therapist...it honestly hasn't crossed my mind. A good idea though..I'll have to look into it. I've been venting to my family mostly, but I know an objective outside opinion would likely do me some good. That's actually how I felt talking to my MD yesterday - turned into a therapy session!
No, he didn't order a urine test. What are you thinking? I'm ALL ears
I agree, seeing a therapist may be a good idea. Haven't been to one recently, but I saw one as an adolescent (typical teenage drama, LOL). It was really good to just have someone to talk to--I think I needed that "safe place" more than anything.
Regarding gluten intolerance, have you tried eating artisan-style sourdough bread? Meaning, made only with a natural sourdough starter and no yeast? I've read that even some celiacs are able to tolerate sourdough if it's been fermented and kneaded properly. I don't think I'm truly intolerant to gluten, but my stomach does seem happier with me if I stick with sourdough. Same thing with soaking flours in whey/yogurt/kefir overnight before baking with it--it helps to predigest the gluten proteins, and I do better with that as well.
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They call me Amanda, that being my real name, and "They" being people who know me in person as I don't go around introducing myself in real life as "scribess." 'Cause that would just be strange.
1. Therapist - I've had really good luck (knock on wood!) using edreferral.com and something-fishy.org. I like EDReferral best though. More detailed and up to date. I prefer therapists with a specialization in eating disorders simply because they have a better grasp on how to approach the food/body image aspect of it than most therapists do. I'll never forget openning a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy workbook (traditionally utilized for the treatment of borderline personality disorder but is also becoming increasingly commonplace in eating disorder treatment programs) and seeing a list of things a person can do to 'treat' themselves. Among them? Dieting, eating something fatty, working out, and baking. Tells you how different a therapists approach might be given their orientation!
2. Water retention - how is it going? Have you tried the lemon? I actually got a deep tissue massage yesterday and, long story short: HIGHLY recommend getting a massage or at the very least, doing some foam rolling. 75-80% of muscle is water.
3. As someone who prides herself on being very logical/rational I wholeheartedly 'get' how hard emotional dissonance can be. The fear and the anxiety you are feeling? They are there to protect you from the unknown. And, frankly, you don't know exactly how your body will respond. HOWEVER, you do know how others have responded. MANY others. And you know the symptoms you are currently displaying match so many of those others. Unfortunately history tends to impact how long this period of bloating lasts, so the duration of your symptoms might be longer than some, BUT they won't be permanent. (Just repeating and drilling in this stuff...tell me when to stop....I've personally never tired of hearing them, so I'm just going to keep repeating them until you ban me from your journal)
4. If you skipped over #3 - Summary: Every day spent bloated is one day closer to Operation Happy Body.
5. Urine Test: just another way to check out how your kidneys are doing given how hard you were exercising and the shift to a higher carbohydrate intake.
I'm so happy that you hit whatever wall it was that finally made you take and STICK WITH these actions. You are doing the dirty work to get to a better place. I truly believe that you will be a better person in a better place once you've finished this phase
1. Therapist - I've had really good luck (knock on wood!) using edreferral.com and something-fishy.org. I like EDReferral best though. More detailed and up to date. I prefer therapists with a specialization in eating disorders simply because they have a better grasp on how to approach the food/body image aspect of it than most therapists do. I'll never forget openning a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy workbook (traditionally utilized for the treatment of borderline personality disorder but is also becoming increasingly commonplace in eating disorder treatment programs) and seeing a list of things a person can do to 'treat' themselves. Among them? Dieting, eating something fatty, working out, and baking. Tells you how different a therapists approach might be given their orientation!
2. Water retention - how is it going? Have you tried the lemon? I actually got a deep tissue massage yesterday and, long story short: HIGHLY recommend getting a massage or at the very least, doing some foam rolling. 75-80% of muscle is water.
3. As someone who prides herself on being very logical/rational I wholeheartedly 'get' how hard emotional dissonance can be. The fear and the anxiety you are feeling? They are there to protect you from the unknown. And, frankly, you don't know exactly how your body will respond. HOWEVER, you do know how others have responded. MANY others. And you know the symptoms you are currently displaying match so many of those others. Unfortunately history tends to impact how long this period of bloating lasts, so the duration of your symptoms might be longer than some, BUT they won't be permanent. (Just repeating and drilling in this stuff...tell me when to stop....I've personally never tired of hearing them, so I'm just going to keep repeating them until you ban me from your journal)
4. If you skipped over #3 - Summary: Every day spent bloated is one day closer to Operation Happy Body.
5. Urine Test: just another way to check out how your kidneys are doing given how hard you were exercising and the shift to a higher carbohydrate intake.
I'm so happy that you hit whatever wall it was that finally made you take and STICK WITH these actions. You are doing the dirty work to get to a better place. I truly believe that you will be a better person in a better place once you've finished this phase
I'll definitely check out those two sites to see if I can find a therapist with a specialty in EDs. I agree - this seems like the way to go (especially with my history of AN, exercise bulimia, bulimia, overtraining, etc.). Wow...yeah, those treatments would NOT have been effective in any stage of my recovery(ies). Gosh, especially the baking part. I became obsessed with recipe books and baking at the height of my AN. I wouldn't touch anything I baked of course...just watched other people enjoy it. It's not a definite science though, so I can imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be to treat some patients effectively.
The water retention (thank FREAKIN' goodness) is decreasing day by day. I can sort of see my quad and calf muscles when I flex (I have fairly muscular legs). The fluid hides all definition, so I end up looking like a giant lumpy squishy lava-lamp. I did try the lemon water and have been drinking various teas (non caffeinated) and warm drinks. I've been taking every piece of advice given to me actually, so I'm not sure if the resolution is a result of any one factor or a combination of all of them. I suspect the latter . I had been scheduling regular deep tissue massages weekly up until a few weeks ago, but thanks for the reminder - I really need to get back! I have been looking online for a foam roller to buy (not sure where I could buy one around here) because the 4th week of REPAIR calls for stretching and foam rolling. I should probably get on that and become familiar with some of the stretches.
Thank you for the encouragment in #3 . It is definitely a mental hurdle at times forcing such a drastic change in lifestyle, but I do keep repeating the mantra...it will get better, it HAS to get better, and by george (!), every day does seem to get better. It goes against every grain of my being to focus on being mellow, relaxed and chilled. I am NOT normally a mellow individual - go, go, go harder and faster is my usual theme. It's amazing how much this program and finally coming to terms with what HAS to be done is doing for my mental and emotional state. I am feeling so much happier and enjoying life moreso than I ever have. And although it gives me anxiety, I do know the bloat will go, and my body will recover. I can't imagaine someone going through this say, 10 years ago without the manual, others' experiences and wonderful (!) support boards open for discussion. Gives me chills thinking of those who have and will continue to struggle. And I will never get tired of hearing words of encouragement, and personally I do need constant daily reminders, or I know I could slip back into my old ways!
LOVE #4. Operation Happy Body is on track! Seriously....love this...!
Gotcha re: the urine test. I see my MD on Monday again, so I'll mention this. I am curious about my kidney function, especially given the sudden change in diet macronutrients to higher carbs and also because of the fluid issues.
Thank you a million times over again for your encouragement and support. It means the world to me, you have no idea.... I'm not sure either what snapped in my head to provoke this change, but I'm so glad it happened.
I agree, seeing a therapist may be a good idea. Haven't been to one recently, but I saw one as an adolescent (typical teenage drama, LOL). It was really good to just have someone to talk to--I think I needed that "safe place" more than anything.
Regarding gluten intolerance, have you tried eating artisan-style sourdough bread? Meaning, made only with a natural sourdough starter and no yeast? I've read that even some celiacs are able to tolerate sourdough if it's been fermented and kneaded properly. I don't think I'm truly intolerant to gluten, but my stomach does seem happier with me if I stick with sourdough. Same thing with soaking flours in whey/yogurt/kefir overnight before baking with it--it helps to predigest the gluten proteins, and I do better with that as well.
I agree - a mother's intuition is not something to be taken lightly!
I've been thinking about seeing a therapist, and I can definitely see the benefit in having a neutral party to open up to. I still have a bit of the "nahhhhh, I don't need a therapist, I'm fiiiiine" feeling going on, but I'm the master of disguising and ignoring my true feelings until bam! I break down one day. Therapy would be a more logical route
Ooo, I've never heard that about sourdough bread! Which I LOVE by the way. I'll be looking into this for sure! I'm mentally preparing myself to actually try gluten again - just suck it up and eat a piece of bread, but Dessie has recommended a digestive enzyme designed to help with gluten break-down, so I'll probably wait until it arrives. I'm excited for the possibility of not having any further food limitations though! Fingers crossed...!
I'm doing ok...actually I'm doing better than ok . Not 100%, but feeling stronger (mentally, physically) every day. I had a couple of bad days last week - weighed down with water, lethargy, just irritable. On one of those days, I noticed my pee was dark dark yellow, so I upped my water from the recommended amount. I guzzled a good 2L in a short period of time and started to come around. So, I was able to ward off that episode anyway!
I'm still resting, but my overall ability to do just general daily stuff is improving. I cleaned the whole house today with normal stable energy, and DIDN'T feel like I needed a nap afterwards! Haha, no small feat for me.
My cals have definitely been higher than my supposed calculated reduced maintenance, but my clothes are fitting normally (even better than normally as I shed the water), so I'm cool with that! I've averaged about 1500-1600 for Week 2 (and around 1300-1400 for Week 1). I still have intermittent bursts of desire to get back to lifting, but I try to talk myself down. I need the rest, but it's tough when I FEEL normal and good because I want to train and run and be active. Patience: NOT my forte.
I bought a foam roller last week, so I'm really looking forward to rollin' out my aches and pains. Oh, and a HRM too for when I commence my walks. Still haven't received the GWF, but I'm in Canada and customs can be a huge PITA sometimes.
I've started on the digestive enzymes Desiree recommended (Enzymedica). Still haven't ventured back into the world of gluten, but possibly soon...I'm more curious than anything. THe diagnosis of Celiac was up in the air due to the elimination of gluten prior to my bloodwork, so it'll be a risky venture! I have the enzyme GlutenEase which apparently helps if you have a food intolerance but certainly not if an allergy is present (i.e. Celiac). I keep staring at the bread and thinking "it's just you and me slicey". Soooon.
Anyway, that's my update! all in all, I think my bod is on the up-and-up! I'll keep y'all updated!!
Glad to hear you're doing well, Amy! Welcome to the club of foam rollers--it hurts but you feel so good after.
Again, I think it's fine for you to be above the calories listed in REPAIR--the point is to get you to eat more, anyway. I think you're doing a great job listening to your body and giving it what it needs. Keep at it!
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They call me Amanda, that being my real name, and "They" being people who know me in person as I don't go around introducing myself in real life as "scribess." 'Cause that would just be strange.
Although I will say that I feel like I'm coming around.....could be the 2 cups of coffee I've already thrown back 
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for so long, I really need to work on developing a healthier relationship with fitness! And I totally get what you're saying about not ballooning up overnight. I get thinking 'ok, WHY am I working out so hard then if I can maintain my weight without it'?? Again, back to the holisitc and health benefits...need to focus!
. Not sure why though...could be my body STILL adjusting to the increased carb intake (averaged about 130g daily over the past week...up from 30-50g prior to REPAIR), but I'm taking my digestive enzymes and probiotics pretty faithfully, so I hope these episodes will become less frequent as I journey through! I can tell I'm still holding fluid daily, and it seems to move around my body (wrists, face, stomach, legs, arms)....just GO already 
. I just do not care what the number is, and if I do find out, I have a history of dwelling and dwelling and DWELLING. I don't have the time to devote to such nonsense! 
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