Okay so had a MAJOR freakout yesterday and last night. I cannot even begin to name what triggered it but am okay now (somewhat).....
I just had a rough day I guess. Work at Intel exploded on me and I had over 100 emails with 3 hot fires to work. I then did some training after work at Intel and finally my own workout. I got home at 11:30 PM. I had more work to wrap up at Intel and then I had to do my daily compliance report to Alan before heading to bed.
At some point in the gym I looked in the mirror and just totally freaked out. My gut is getting so HOOOOYYYGE! I look like a keg now (where's Tom?) Seriously I am so bloated and big. In the past I would just have gone off the diet for a day or two until the bloating went down, but now that I have to do daily compliance reporting that option comes with more consequences than not. I felt a little bit trapped and so I stuffed all the food in my face that I was supposed to eat for the day and then wrote to Alan that I want to turn it around now!! It was 1:00AM.
When the alarm went off at 6:45AM I knew that email was a mistake and I knew that my phobias were just taking over. I also suspected what was coming from the other side so I quickly composed another email telling Alan to disregard that last one. I was okay. He confirmed later that he would have requested pics of my "big fat pig-ness" had I continued being silly.
That is so unfair. The camera doesn't seem to catch what I see in my own eyes. LOL!!!
I also took a bit of time this morning to do my monthly measurements with the local natural bber and trainer. He has one of those really expensive calipers and has been doing this for 15 years so pretty steady. I put on .5 inches in my biceps and 1 whole inch in chest. (Lats are just getting crazy) Alas I also put on an inch in my middle. he told me to just chill out about that because that will drop fast. He plugged in all the numbers and it turns out I am gaining LBM (or other) at a rate of .25lbs a week. I was a bit disheartened by that but he put things in perspective for me.
* He said that he did a full year bulk last year and ended up with 6 lbs.
* That is 12lbs a year of LBM!!
* He kept reminding me that I am female and that it was an awesome gain. He has a number of male clients who cannot gain at that rate.
Overall he said I was doing everything right as far as he could see and tell and better than most can manage.
So for now I am okay. Not happy at all with how I look right now but it's winter so I can cover it up mostly.
Today I weighed in at 135.8 lbs!!
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
Ahhhhh... You show up just in time to give me my own medicine. LOL!!! Thanks Bytsi.
Workout was bitch'n tonight. I killed myself on the squats. For some reason I thought I had done 185lbx12x2 last time around. I was pissed that I could only match that so finished out with 3 sets of 12x135 (ATG). I did 135s ATG and 185 to parallel. Then I took that anger over to the ham curl machine and busted up there too. By the time I was finished with these to exercises I was spent beyond belief. But I sat on the leg press with determination. 180 was hard and so was 270. I had done 360x2x12 before so I loaded it up. I dropped that 360 lbs into my lap. It scared the piss outta me. I tried to catch it with the safeties but missed and it came crashing down. Fortunately it stopped short of actually crushing me but I was pretty compacted. My legs just gave out like they were broken. They were rubber the rest of the night. LOL!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Rest=60 sec
Exercise
Sets
Reps
Weight
Notes
Quads 1 - squat bb (back)
4
9-12
1x12x135
2x12x185
3x12x135
Okay so this one KICKED MY ASS
Ham 1 - Seated Hams (Hammer)
4
9-12
1x12x55
1x12x70
1x7x80
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Quads 2 - Leg press
4
9-12
1x12x180
1x12x270
360 (f)
2x12x180
Dropped the 360 in my lap. Scared me to death
Hams 2 -prone curl
4
9-12
1x12x30
1x12x40
1x12x30
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Calves 1 - Leg press
4
9-12
1x12x180
1x12x270
2x12x180
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Abs 1 cable-twists
4
10
3x15x15 each side
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Low Back 1 - hyperextensions
4
9-12
1x12xbw
1x20x +45
1x15 +45
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Abs 2 - bench heel touch
3
3-15
3x15
warm up sets as specified in notes below
Calves 2 - seated
4
9-12
1x12xbw
1x12x90
2x12x45
New Exercise
low back 2 - low back machine
4
9-12
1x12x80
1x12x100
1x12x120
warm up sets as specified in notes below
NOTES: 1st exerces 2 warmup sets one light, one mod and 2 sets to failure 2nd exercise 1 warmup mod and 3 sets to failure
Goals on workout day: 2696, 233P, 234C, 92F Goals on REST day: 2385, 227P, 169C, 89F
If you look remotely like your pictures, I don't know what you were seeing though.
I think that was Alan's point to me in his request for pictures. Problem is that I don't want to take pics right now because I feel too fat. I will do pics just before we start the transition into the cut for everyone. I am gaining so fast right now. Almost .5lbs a day and I KNOW it ain't all LBM.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stingo
Totally, but she's probably more of a sixtel than a half.
LOL! I have never heard of a sixtel but I can imagine how tiny that is. No. Def a half here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillytl
Nice workout Karla - glad you didn't squish yourself in the leg press!!
Whenever I used that machine in the past I always wondered what would happen if you dropped the weight. I never really tested it. Now I know. It stops just before you get squished. Still it was rather scary. My legs just gave out. Nothing at all left. Last night I sat down to do my evening work before going to bed and when I stood back up I nearly could not walk. Not sore per say but spent completely and weak.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedLefty
Sounds like the appropriate levels of fatness and freakouts for a good bulk!
p.s. -- <<--- that actually is my real picture. Life-sized, too. Takes forever to type with these tiny freaking hands.
Actually compared to your body those hands are huge. Now what was it that I was reading about big hands recently......??? Hmmmmm.......
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
LOL! I have never heard of a sixtel but I can imagine how tiny that is. No. Def a half here.
It is. A sixtel = 1/6 of a barrel and holds just over 5 gallons of your favorite beer mmmm beer... (or 1/3 of the size of a 1/2 barrel, which holds 15.5 gallons). Its more vernacular names are the torpedo or the log, since that's what it resembles (long and cylindrical).
__________________
Tom
No "happy hours" makes for a lot of miserable days. - Mahler
I can sooo relate to your freak out. I just recently had a several day one about the changes in my own body. And yeah I wrote an extended freak-out letter to Alan.
Sometimes I wish I could look in the mirror and really see what others see, but we never quite see ourselves no matter how searchingly we look. We see our hopes and fears as much as anything solid and real.
I think you are actually doing pretty well if you were able to rethink even a little bit of your fears by the morning and keep on trucking. Go Karla!
__________________
"Time and patience are the 2 elements that most people don't include in their plans."
-Alan Aragon
"The scale simply tells you how much the earth loves you on a particular day."
-Ogedei (Keith)
I don't think I said hello when I subscribed yesterday, so just saying hello. I don't have much to add, but as always will watch your progress with great interest.
I'm walking 60 miles for a breast cancer cure, September 11-13, 2009! Please support my walk and help me raise funds for cancer research by donating to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day: http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/...nal&fr_id=1300
I can sooo relate to your freak out. I just recently had a several day one about the changes in my own body. And yeah I wrote an extended freak-out letter to Alan.
Sometimes I wish I could look in the mirror and really see what others see, but we never quite see ourselves no matter how searchingly we look. We see our hopes and fears as much as anything solid and real.
I think you are actually doing pretty well if you were able to rethink even a little bit of your fears by the morning and keep on trucking. Go Karla!
Thanks deary. I hope Alan was able to help you work through your own body issues. I always feel so stupid when I look back on these times. In the heat of it though it is the only thing that matters.
[quote=realcdn;672598]I don't think I said hello when I subscribed yesterday, so just saying hello. I don't have much to add, but as always will watch your progress with great interest.[/quote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen411
Karla, I didn't realize you had a new log. Explains the inactivity on the other one, though . Anyway, subscribing now.
Welcome to both of you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willie
Ditto with the "chillax". You look great and you are on the right track! Nice work in here
Thanks Willie. I love that word "chillax" by the way. I've used it a few times in my real life.
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
So today I am up to 136.8 lbs. Nearly 18 lbs from the bottom!!!!! Yikes. Funnily I did not look so fat today. I had vascularity happening at the gym too. So I am left to wonder if I am insane or if my body holds water first and then grows muscle and dumps the water? I don't know.... Weird.
Had an amazing workout tonight. Only set a few PRs but got the most amazing swole on that I have ever experienced. My skin was so tight it literally hurt me. LOL! Getting a swole on is almost as good as..... Oh who am I kidding? No it isn't, but it is a cool thing!
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
Well, actually Teh Arnold said something else.. ever watched Pumping Iron
But Bytsi is quite right... except that I'd add licorice to the equation.. that's my major sinful indulgance. Chocolate is guilt-free because of the many health aspects of it.. at least dark chocolate.
Karla, just saying your remark in my journal on how my attention to the cycle cracks you up.. yours cracked me up too plus now the swoleness as well as the fear of fat gain
Well, actually Teh Arnold said something else.. ever watched Pumping Iron
But Bytsi is quite right... except that I'd add licorice to the equation.. that's my major sinful indulgance. Chocolate is guilt-free because of the many health aspects of it.. at least dark chocolate.
Karla, just saying your remark in my journal on how my attention to the cycle cracks you up.. yours cracked me up too plus now the swoleness as well as the fear of fat gain
Okay so Arnold SOOOO was lying when he said that. The thing is that when I first watched the movie I thought he was for serious and I kept shooting for that BIG SWOLE!!! Never got it though.... LOL!!! Still the swole is cool.
And isn't it just great about the journals in general? They are reflections of the people who write them and just as quirky as people are. I always laugh when I read them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stingo
I still think you should've named your log "Gettin' my swole on"
LOL!! Perhaps I'll change it one day but the real title is more what the journal is about.
Alan says I am one of a handful of women who actually loves the swole. I am wondering why more women don't love it. Althought last night it was actually painful at its peak and coming down from it. I could do with a little less pinching of the skin than that. LOL!!!
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
I know he was lying .. there was a Pumping Iron Revisited or something (title?) in which he looked back after all those years.. yet it was good fun while so many gullible people believed it. And drank tuna shakes (that was not Arnold's joke but a similar classic)
Hm I do like the feeling of being pumped though it doesn't happen very often nor is it very practical. Just most won't fess up they like it or they just don't even know what it is. I still remember the day I got a small pump going and was wearing my cycling jersey. That's when I really understood that cyclists are anomalies.. they have BIG legs and yet, such tiny arms. The arms of the jersey were getting tight all of a sudden during a training. Was quite the surprise at the time.
Hi Karla Just subbing to your new log. Like the new(ish) avi
Welcome to the slow but steady log Kara!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Espi
I know he was lying .. there was a Pumping Iron Revisited or something (title?) in which he looked back after all those years.. yet it was good fun while so many gullible people believed it. And drank tuna shakes (that was not Arnold's joke but a similar classic)
I have that version of the DVD but did not watch the extras until after the 2nd or so time through it. So for some time I really did try to reach that sort of pump. I may be gulliable but who can blame me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by tcoy777
Things are looking good in her. I have the swole going on, but not from working out. LOL
WHOA!!! Too much information friend....
Quote:
Originally Posted by kfisherx
So today I am up to 136.8 lbs. Nearly 18 lbs from the bottom!!!!! Yikes. Funnily I did not look so fat today. I had vascularity happening at the gym too. So I am left to wonder if I am insane or if my body holds water first and then grows muscle and dumps the water? I don't know.... Weird.
Down to 133.4 today. Now I know what caused me to freak out. Nearly 4 lbs of water weight soaring through my small frame. I felt fat because I looked it. At least I know I wasn't being completely out of my mind. I had legit complaints. That said, I should have realized that it was going to woosh out.
Today I looked great again and had major vascularity at the gym. Okay my belly budge is somewhat bigger than I like but overall I am okay with my look right now. Other people were okay with it too. I worked out at a new 24 on the other side of town today. It was lower day and 5x5 day too. Apparently this gym is not quite as hardcore as the one I work in. There were no other women in the free weight section. There was an idiot doing curls in one of the squat racks and all the weights were pretty and covered in rubber.
I had one admiring fan during my squats and another joined in during my deads. The first guy was pretty obvious about staring at my butt and yet he didn't talk to me so it was sort of creepy. The other guy was walking past me just after I finished doing 5 reps of 195lb in Deads and stopped cold in his tracks to tell me that I was lifting a LOT of weight. I couldn't speak at the time because I was out of breath but my mind is thinking, "No shit?". I just looked at him and gave a weak smile and nod. So he stood around and watched another set after my 1.5 min break. It was all pretty funny.
My dear sweet daugher in LA is spending tomorrow watching the superbowl at the Playboy mansion. She hangs out in some pretty fine circles that one. LOL!
GO STEELERS!
__________________
The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
And my advice for the day is this. If you have not yet subscribed to AARR do so for this month's issue. Alan spills the beans and shares with his subscribers the algorithms and theories he uses to prescribe macros and calories to his clients. If you cannot afford to hire Alan to do it for you, this is the next best thing!
And my advice for the day is this. If you have not yet subscribed to AARR do so for this month's issue. Alan spills the beans and shares with his subscribers the algorithms and theories he uses to prescribe macros and calories to his clients. If you cannot afford to hire Alan to do it for you, this is the next best thing!
My dear sweet daugher in LA is spending tomorrow watching the superbowl at the Playboy mansion. She hangs out in some pretty fine circles that one. LOL!
. Anyway, subscribing now.
yup - I'm SURE that's what she meant.........
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