The Big Stretch

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by stingo

It's more about enjoying a food to the point where it feels like it should not be on your food plan, if that makes sense - since you're "dieting".

Yup, it makes sense. There's the feeling that exercise or diet food should not be fun or enjoyable. So if you enjoy it too much you must be slacking. Whatever. But even though I know it's silly I can still fall into that way of thinking and get way too strict with myself about stooopid things.

Originally Posted by beesknees

I have certain foods, too that I avoid simply because they are ones that I have trouble eating just the right amount. Ice cream is one of them.

Anyway, just stopped by to say "hi"

Hi back at ya

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Ah... I see. I don't have that problem really. I eat all the foods that I enjoy by just fitting them into my daily food plan. I eat peanut butter and pizza nearly every day. I'll carrry this tradition into my cut and through my contest prep as well. Yes, they are weighed out carefully and restricted to fit into my macros but I never consider those to be "off limit" foods. I really only avoid those foods that make me feel poorly when I eat them even though they taste good like cakes and really sugary things.

Pizza nearly every day. Wow. Is that home made or commercial? I've sometimes done mini pizza-like things on half an English muffin.

As for peanut butter. Peanut butter is a food group in my universe and I don't think I've ever gone low on it.

Originally Posted by realcdn

Agreed. If you can't control your portions of a specific food, it's sometimes better to avoid it. Or, find a way to just buy a small portion of it... although I'm not sure how you would do that with peanut butter. Although, having said that, our local bulk place sells it where you can buy what you want. I did that once when I wanted to try almond butter.

I've bought small portions of cheese in the past because it was a problem food for me. So I'd get 1 and 2 oz pieces from the deli sample basket.

[kfisherx]

Pizza recipe:

1 whole wheat pita
Organic sauce in the jar (45 cal per serving)
turkey burger (3 oz)
turkey sausage (.25 link)
mushrooms and tomatoes
pizza cheese (50 oz)

Bake until crispy at the bottom and yummy at the top. Ummmm.... I eat this almost every single day for breakfast. LOL!

[gregl515]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

Feeling saner now. (Partly no doubt due to finally getting some sleep this afternoon. I was up pretty much all night stressing and therefore made progressively less sense.) When I see myself as "failing" I can get pretty black and white in my thinking and I tend to be a perfectionist anyway. Just getting some sleep helped with some of that.



Does it make sense to say it both matters and doesn't matter what I've been bingeing on?

It matters in that yup, there's a pattern. A few weeks back I was looking up the macros of some of the foods I tend to overeat or binge on. (I know some people use the words interchangeably, but to me there's a difference between bingeing and over eating). Highly processed carby goodness, preferrebly with a high fat content has always lead the pack and is often the whole of a binge, but I can binge on peanut butter or cheese. And once I get going odd foods can join the party. Heck a pork chop was part of last night. Carrots were part of one near the end which even as it was happening amused me in a twisted way.

It doesn't matter in that I don't want to react by re-eliminating those foods from my apartment. I want co-existence and I have made progress towards that goal.

I have to believe that I'll continue to make progress even though in the here and now I often feel stalled. It's only when I look back over a year that that positive changes look big and feel like a continuous story. In the day to day progress gets lost in the tumble of every day events.

(Actually that's one thing Alan's feedback really helps with: seeing the positive big picture and getting some sort of perspective.)

And you are right that disgust is not the way to go. It's just a hard thing to turn off sometimes.

\\

I have had that pattern of eating in the past. It usually is a sign of depression in me.

[CloveApple]

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been very ummm... compliant about posting my little mini compliance list.

In any case it's going through a switch up. Last Monday Andrew helped me come up with an A & B routine of the stuff I should be doing plus an every day mini routine. It's stretchy rehab-y stuff for the most part. As per my usual my consistency sucks. One of my Open Challenge goals is going to be a compliance rate on this stuff (or whatever routine I move on to). I'm trying to decide what's a reasonable goal.

I was right that changes were coming at work, I was one of the few people who didn't either lose hours, get shifts moved around, or have to change locations. Big sigh of relief there as I had just settled into my current hours and location after my old location downsized. Overtime is pretty much gone though so money will be tighter and I'll have to get creative, but no where near as bad as it could have been.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Pizza recipe:

Sounds nummy and similar to my own concoctions. Today's version had spaghetti sauce, goat cheese, a little spinach, a very very small sliced tomato, and chicken sausage.

Originally Posted by gregl515

I have had that pattern of eating in the past. It usually is a sign of depression in me.

You may be right. I don't feel depressed, but sometimes that's something you can only see about yourself once you've gotten out of it. I do know that some stuff in the last couple months has been rough, though it's not stuff I can post in a public forum.

[CloveApple]

I had a doctor's appointment Tuesday with a doctor who works with a sports medicine clinic. The MRI showed a little bit of lower back disk-bulging, but he doubted that was the issue. He thinks my pain is actually coming from the Sacroiliac joints.

Mostly his advice was to keep doing the exercises I'm already supposed to be doing. The good news was that he said it should probably be resolved in another 3 months. He thought weights would be fine but said to avoid "percussive" stuff (such as jump roping). He said stationary bike would be fine but to hold off till spring on city biking.

I'm working on my goals for the Open Challenge. I'll post what I have here and if I still like it tomorrow I'll run with it.
For all these goals I'm going to total the numbers monthly so that I don't use a bad month as an excuse to stop the next month because I've "blown it."

1) Fat loss
Measurement: to reach 130 pounds (after which I'll take stock & I may go to maintenance, to some muscle gain, or keep working on fat loss).
Current Status: I'm at 170.8 on February 4th.
2) Read about exercise and nutrition
Measurement: read 4.5 exercise or nutrition books and two research studies (one book can be a cookbook if I actually use at least 6 recipes, techniques, or ideas from it)
Current Status: I'm about half way through Alan Aragon's Girth Control. (I've read this through once very unevenly with some jotting down terms to look up later and some skimming, and now I'm reading through a second time for solid understanding. So since I started this one before the challenge I'm counting it as half a book.)
3) Writing
Measurement: an hour a week of freewriting plus a minimum of an hour a month of writing-related stuff(like editing, rewriting, sending out submissions, classes/workshops/networking), also sending in at least 6 writing submissions to reputable magazines over the course of the challenge.
Current Status: Right now this is pretty much at zero. I've done freewriting once in the last 3 months. I haven't submitted any writing in years.
4) Financial Goal
Measurement: to spend 20 minutes a day on keeping track of money/spending/bills (or if I'm mostly caught up on entering information, whatever shorter time it takes to keep my checkbook program up to date) It's ok to average the time out over a week.
Current Status: Checking accounts were last truly balanced in March and only approximately tracked since then.
5) Workout Consistency
Measurement: an 85% compliance rate on exercise sessions. The current program is a fairly rehab-y A/ B routine 3 times a week, and at least twice a week cardio. It will change as Andrew (my trainer) makes adjustments and as my back/hips get better.
Current Status: I'm flaking out on a regular basis on making it to the gym right now. This may be the hardest goal on the list for me.
6) Stretching/Warmup/Foam Rolling
Measurement: stretching/foam rolling/massage a minimum of 5 days a week.
Current Status: I've done this about 8 or 9 times over the last two weeks and very sporadically before that.

[kfisherx]

WOW! Them are some pretty cool goals. Everyone should write out their goals and track them like that. Very cool. I am interested to hear what books you have picked for this adventure?

[RedLefty]

Sounds like a good readin' (#2), 'ritin' (#3) and 'rithmuhtic (#4) plan!

[Celestialmom]

Goals look good..that reminds me, I need to get mine in order!

[dillytl]

Great goals!!!

[Your Highness]

Hi, Jennifer! I've just read through your entire log here and I'm duly impressed! Your humility and humor shine throughout this missive and makes the reading quite enjoyable! ("... I get a goofy smile every time I think I'm actually doing free weights"; "... eventually I'll have a decoder ring and know all the secret handshakes".)

I think you've made amazing progress in one year. Down over 30 lbs, right? And, twice lowered BP meds, continually stuffing your brain with all this crazy, (sometimes contradictory), nutritional and fitness knowledge, all while going through financial, physical (hip) and job stress ... it seems to me that you are a poster child for progress.

You've mentioned a few times that you are more aware of what's "...off or needs work..." than what you're doing right, and that reminded me of something they taught us in a sport coaching seminar: boys absorb kudos and deflect criticism; girls are the opposite. Food for thought! Perhaps we should TRY harder to be like the boys.

Anyway, I've learned a lot and can't wait for the next installment.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

WOW! Them are some pretty cool goals. Everyone should write out their goals and track them like that. Very cool.

Thankies.
Everyone huh? Dive on in, the water's fine!

Originally Posted by kfisherx

I am interested to hear what books you have picked for this adventure?

I haven't picked specific books yet (though I've read Gobla's book reviews in this forum and lots of the discussions of various books here). I'm totally up for any recommendations.

I figure what I learn in each book may change where I want to go next, but I do want something somewhat substantial and non-fluffy on the list. (The cookbook possibility is a bit of an exception I guess, but that's why I specified I'd actually have to do something with that one to get it to count.)

Originally Posted by RedLefty

Sounds like a good readin' (#2), 'ritin' (#3) and 'rithmuhtic (#4) plan!

LOL. I must be missing grade school.

Originally Posted by Celestialmom

Goals look good..that reminds me, I need to get mine in order!

I'm gonna be psyched to see what you come up with.

Originally Posted by dillytl

Great goals!!!

Thanks. I hope this challenge really gets me moving!

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

Mostly his advice was to keep doing the exercises I'm already supposed to be doing. The good news was that he said it should probably be resolved in another 3 months. He thought weights would be fine but said to avoid "percussive" stuff (such as jump roping). He said stationary bike would be fine but to hold off till spring on city biking.

Great news that it should be resolved within 3 months

and I am well impressed with your VERY CONCRETE goal setting.

I am presuming the writing is just a hobby at this point?

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by Your Highness

Perhaps we should TRY harder to be like the boys.

Hi Sally. Thanks for stopping by, and for the comments and kudos. LOL, at that last bit. So I gotta work on my macha side? I had thought of it as a thing from my childhood, but maybe not so much. Definitely some food for thought.

Originally Posted by Jedi

Great news that it should be resolved within 3 months

and I am well impressed with your VERY CONCRETE goal setting.

I am presuming the writing is just a hobby at this point?

Yeah I'm psyched to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks, I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Writing's very much in the hobby realm as I've never made money from it and probably never will. (Even very good poetry magazines tend to pay in magazine copies.) It's a passion I walked away from a good while ago, but it never went away even though I ignored it.

[CloveApple]

Daily Progress on Goals (hey I like the sound of that better than "compliance")

1) AM Weight: 166.2
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 1/2 hour today (1/2 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: not yet (goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 100 minutes today (100 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: B routine today (2 A/B & 1 cardio this week=60% so far this month, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (6x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

[CloveApple]

2-9-09

Monday was my every other week session with Andrew. We spent a little time talking (I'm trying to remember the name of the tape he brought up trying to help me be aware of what muscle I am using) and then did a scattering of things.

He showed me the basics of using the rower and ARC. I'm intrigued by the rower though the ARC will be easier to use for intervals since it's compatible with my heart rate monitor.

We added weights back into my squat (Yes!) and he showed me how to up the difficulty on a bodyweight exercise that was getting too easy. Then I stayed on and did the rest of my A routine. It's still not something that feels like a workout but it's moving back in that direction.

A
ball wall squat w/band: don't know the reps on this as we were trying some different weights (16 & 20) and positioning (medicine ball, dumbbells, single dumbbell)and I lost track
ball wall pushups: 15x3
flossing: 10 each side
hip circles on ball(think hula motion): 20 each direction
one leg lift on ball: 2x10 for count of 10
knee drop w/ball: 10 each side
trunk traction w/ball
one arm cable row: 35# 15x2 each side
(also should have done two additional stretches but didn't realize that till today looking at the sheet. I need to re-format it to be clearer.)

After that, pretty much for the heck of it, I tried out a type of bodywork called "muscle activation" with a woman who was interning there. (I'll have to Google Greg Roscoff to learn more about it when I get a chance.)

Not sure what I think of it. I treated the whole thing as an anatomy lesson in where some muscles were and where there origin and insertion points were. Plus if nothing else I get brownie points in heaven for being a willing guinea pig for student practice.

She herself struck me as having the particular intensity of belief combined with scorn for all other approaches that screams new convert or beginning student.

Actually she was kind of funny in her newness. After firmly touching me by the groin, she asked "Is it ok if I touch you here?" And she didn't seem to have any sense of the politics of what she was blurting out. (I'm not sure it was the brightest move on her part to be quite so scathing about stretching in general for example, when even a casual observer would know my trainer is all about that and she knew I worked with him.)

Of course I don't want to judge the message by the messenger, but for right now I'll just drop it in the interesting experiences file till I get a chance to learn more.

Daily Progress on Goals Monday 2-9-09
1) AM Weight: 163.2
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: none yet (0 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: not yet (goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 0 minutes today (0 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: A routine today (1 A/B & 0 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: no (0x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Tuesday 2-10-09
30 minutes rowing
Experimented with changing the damper setting and getting comfortable with the controls. I noticed my hands were a little sore but didn't think much of it till I stopped & saw I had blisters. Next time I'll try my biking gloves.

I did my daily stretching & rehab mini routine at the end of the day:
cat/camel: X5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hip flexor lying: 10 on each side
supine draw-in with heel drag: 20 each side
glute max retrain: 30 sec x4 each side
relaxation on back with feet on chair: 3 min

Daily Progress on Goals Tuesday 2-10-09
AM Weight: 162.4
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: none today (0 this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: not yet (goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 0 minutes today (0 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: cardio today (1 A/B & 1 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (1x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

[kfisherx]

Hey you wooshed like 3 lbs!!! Cool. So how is that book that you are not reading? If it is anything like his AARR I could read like a paragraph a day.... LOL

[stingo]

I just restarted Girth Control (read the introduction) - I hope to get more to it today.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Hey you wooshed like 3 lbs!!! Cool. So how is that book that you are not reading? If it is anything like his AARR I could read like a paragraph a day.... LOL

I zoomed up super fast and then zoomed down fairly fast. It looks like a little shark fin on the slope of my graph. (The graphs are in an old post but should be current since they update as I add stuff.)

As for the book I am not reading... LOL. If only intending to read was reading.... I'd say I picked a good book for what I wanted, I've gotten a lot out of it so far, and I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to dig into this stuff.

I say that even though I'm not the target audience. Girth Control is clearly meant for somebody who already is familiar with the basic concepts, so much of it is slower going for me since I have to stop and look up words and basic ideas. (I've taken to jotting down stuff to look up and I think the list is at least 3 pages long now.)

The only quibble I have is that I wish it had been better proofread. To be fair that's a problem with the book industry in general right now and only one typo I've run into has been substantive.

Originally Posted by stingo

I just restarted Girth Control (read the introduction) - I hope to get more to it today.

It has some interesting stuff in it. Hope you enjoy.

[CloveApple]

Cool quote from a Good Earth teabag:
Strong reasons make strong actions
William Shakespeare

Daily Progress on Goals Wednesday 2-11-09
1) AM Weight: 162.4
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting:0 minutes (0 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 0 minutes today (0 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: B routine today (2 A/B & 1 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (2x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Daily Progress on Goals Thursday 2-12-09
1) AM Weight: 161.8
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 0 minutes (0 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 30 minutes today (30 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: 0 today (2 A/B & 1 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (3x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

[CloveApple]

In the morning after work (I work a short day on Fridays) I went to my usual gym, but then this evening I worked out with a friend and did cardio. We went to the only location of my gym that I hadn't been to yet. It's way bigger than the one I usually go to and much busier.

We made tentative plans to go again. This is a Good Thing since while I have no trouble standing up myself (procrastinating) I don't stand up other people.

Daily Progress on Goals Friday 2-13-09
1) AM Weight: 162.4
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: worked on organizing vocab list I've been looking up (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting:20 minutes (20 minutes this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 20 minutes today (50 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: A routine & cardio today (3 A/B & 2 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (4x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

[realcdn]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

Writing's very much in the hobby realm as I've never made money from it and probably never will. (Even very good poetry magazines tend to pay in magazine copies.) It's a passion I walked away from a good while ago, but it never went away even though I ignored it.

One of my father's cousins has a book of poetry published, although it is possible that it's self-published. She gave my mother a copy of it around new years, I keep meaning to check. I understand though, it's not generally a field that you can support yourself in. Although, I would think it would be a fairly decent thing to see your work published in a good poetry mag.

[CloveApple]

Daily Progress on Goals Saturday 2-14-09
1) AM Weight: 161.2
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: 20-30 minutes of reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 40 minutes (1 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 70 minutes today (120 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: 0 today (3 A/B & 2 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (5x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Daily Progress on Goals Sunday 2-15-09
1) AM Weight: 162.2
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 0 minutes (1 hour this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 0 minutes today (120 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: cardio today (3 A/B & 3 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: no (5x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Eating on both these days was off. I think my challenge is not to freak out when I'm off a little (or even a lot) foodwise because my reaction to freaking out is... yeah, eating. And then my reaction to the eating is eating.

Well no, that's not the reason. The eating itself is not something I need to demonize. The reason to avoid the cycle is to skip the intense self criticism, the "you've blown it" mentality, the self flagellation. I'm not being graded by anyone. This is not a test. There is no fail. There is no A, B, C, or F.

Plus if I am going to eat something not on plan it would be nice to freaking enjoy it instead of cramming something down that I don't even want or that I might want under other circumstances but that I am sure not enjoying at that moment.

It's hard to write about this stuff because it's messy and I don't have it under control. (Ahh, that illusion of the possibility of control.) I don't post my food here for the simple reason that that feels way too vulnerable. I admire and respect the people that do, but some days it's too much of a challenge just to send a day's records to Alan. A couple times I've just sent him a note saying I'm not up to logging it and then sent the record later when I was able to pull back from it emotionally and breathe again.

Alan tells me that some "falling off the wagon" is not unexpected and that it's a pretty natural reaction to being in completely new territory weightwise, that it's part of the body's self defense mechanisms, part of it's attempt to stabilize my weight. He also reminds me that success is not going to be linear (and that I am succeeding).

A lot of this is probably "just chill" stuff (not that that's as simple as it sounds), learning to tolerate some fluctuation, some messiness, some of the natural rhythms of life instead of seeing them as the enemies of my imaginary perfect progress chart.

A little while ago in Wendy's (fengshway's) log I wrote that learning to eat was like learning to ride a bike. Maybe learning to walk is an even better comparison. A Laurie Anderson song that I love says:

You're walking.
And you don't always realize it, but you're always falling.
With each step you fall forward slightly.
And then catch yourself from falling.
Over and over, you're falling.
And then catching yourself from falling.
And this is how you can be walking and falling at the same time.

So here's to walking and falling, here's to learning to surf the waves, and to just riding the bike. It'll come.

[SpacecityPaula]

Very Nice thoughts in that last post.

[Your Highness]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

Well no, that's not the reason. The eating itself is not something I need to demonize. The reason to avoid the cycle is to skip the intense self criticism, the "you've blown it" mentality, the self flagellation. I'm not being graded by anyone. This is not a test. There is no fail. There is no A, B, C, or F...

..It's hard to write about this stuff because it's messy and I don't have it under control. (Ahh, that illusion of the possibility of control.) I don't post my food here for the simple reason that that feels way too vulnerable. I admire and respect the people that do, but some days it's too much of a challenge just to send a day's records to Alan. A couple times I've just sent him a note saying I'm not up to logging it and then sent the record later when I was able to pull back from it emotionally and breathe again.

Alan tells me that some "falling off the wagon" is not unexpected and that it's a pretty natural reaction to being in completely new territory weightwise, that it's part of the body's self defense mechanisms, part of it's attempt to stabilize my weight. He also reminds me that success is not going to be linear (and that I am succeeding).

A lot of this is probably "just chill" stuff (not that that's as simple as it sounds), learning to tolerate some fluctuation, some messiness, some of the natural rhythms of life instead of seeing them as the enemies of my imaginary perfect progress chart.


A little while ago in Wendy's (fengshway's) log I wrote that learning to eat was like learning to ride a bike. Maybe learning to walk is an even better comparison. A Laurie Anderson song that I love says:

You're walking.

And you don't always realize it, but you're always falling.

With each step you fall forward slightly.

And then catch yourself from falling.

Over and over, you're falling.

And then catching yourself from falling.

And this is how you can be walking and falling at the same time.

So here's to walking and falling, here's to learning to surf the waves, and to just riding the bike. It'll come.

Good stuff. Keep writing, girl.

[beesknees]

Great post. You do have a way with words.

[Bytsi]

I love Laurie Anderson, and those lyrics are perfect for this journey.

I completely absolutely love what you wrote, about food and emotions and control and the non-linear journey... thanks for sharing. You put into words so much of what I'm going through and experiencing too...

[kfisherx]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that last post! All of it! Way to write and way to think it through.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by realcdn

One of my father's cousins has a book of poetry published, although it is possible that it's self-published. She gave my mother a copy of it around new years, I keep meaning to check. I understand though, it's not generally a field that you can support yourself in. Although, I would think it would be a fairly decent thing to see your work published in a good poetry mag.

Yup, it would be fantastic to get into a good magazine.

Pretty much the only way you can support yourself financially with poetry is if what you really live on is teaching poetry, and that's after you have at least one book under your belt. And most of those jobs are part time with no benefits.

In my dream universe I'd be able to write half time, work at a bookstore half time, and maybe volunteer at my current job just to stay in touch with clients. But then if I got everything I dreamed of I probably wouldn't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by SpacecityPaula

Very Nice thoughts in that last post.

Originally Posted by Your Highness

Good stuff. Keep writing, girl.

Originally Posted by beesknees

Great post. You do have a way with words.

Originally Posted by Bytsi

I love Laurie Anderson, and those lyrics are perfect for this journey.

I completely absolutely love what you wrote, about food and emotions and control and the non-linear journey... thanks for sharing. You put into words so much of what I'm going through and experiencing too...

Originally Posted by kfisherx

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that last post! All of it! Way to write and way to think it through.

Thank you all so much.

[CloveApple]

Daily Progress on Goals Monday 2-16-09
1) AM Weight: 164.8
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: 0 reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 20 minutes (20 minutes this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 50 minutes today (50 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: 0 today (0 A/B & 0 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: no (0x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Daily Progress on Goals Tuesday 2-17-09
1) AM Weight: 165.6
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 15 minutes (35 minutes this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 10 minutes today (60 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: B today (1 A/B & 0 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (1x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Daily Progress on Goals Wednesday 2-18-09
1) AM Weight: 166.4
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 0 minutes (35 minutes this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 90 minutes today (150 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: 0 today (1 A/B & 0 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: yes (2x this week, weekly goal of 5x)

Daily Progress on Goals Thursday 2-19-09
1) AM Weight: 166.0
2) Nutrition/fitness reading: no reading today (Current book: Girth Control)
3) Freewriting: 0 minutes (35 minutes this week, weekly goal of an hour)
Writing-related stuff: 0 minutes (0 minutes this month, goal of an hour a month)
4) Finances: 5 minutes today (155 minutes this week, weekly goal of 140 minutes)
5) Workout consistency: 0 today (1 A/B & 0 cardio this week, monthly goal of 85%, 100% would be 3 A or B + 2 cardio per week)
6) Stretching/Warmup/Massage/Foam Rolling: no (2x this week, weekly goal of 5x)