The Big Stretch

[CloveApple]

It's been quite a ride this year!

It all started with a high blood pressure scare & being put on blood pressure medication that gave me some nasty side effects.

At first I wasn't looking to lose weight, just to tackle the blood pressure, but by the time I found JP's and started a log I was also moving more and more towards setting my sights on losing fat.

However when I started this log in August my main stated goals were to get off blood pressure meds, get more active, and to get a better handle on food.

Here's how those have gone:
1) With my doctor's approval I've reduced my blood pressure medication twice.
2) While my activity levels will not impress Michael Phelps, they have definitely gone up. I started lifting weights with an all-machine routine and have been gradually shifting over to free weights. I have added in new things such as biking to run errands and I am way less sedentary than I was a year ago.

(To get perspective on this, a year ago I often avoided walking up one flight of stairs because I found it tiring and my energy levels were somewhat less than your average sloth's. I often struggled to just stay awake through a work shift. Now walking up to the 4th floor is no big deal and I often run up stairs.)

I've lost ground on both strength and being active recently with my hip and back injury (and let's face it, some slacking off), but I'm still so far ahead of where I started.

3) As for getting a better handle on food, I'd say I've taken some big steps there.

While I can't say I haven't binged at all, I'm now keeping foods in my kitchen on a regular basis (cheese, ice cream) that I didn't used to be able to keep on hand at all without inhaling them completely the same day I bought them.

I've also been very slowly chipping away at Alan's book and reading snips of things here and there to get up to speed on basic concepts.

Now we get to the purty picture part. This next bit is mainly about food and weight loss since that is the easy stuff to show on a graph.

The graph starts with me doing the DASH eating plan for high blood pressure, which basically meant dumping the processed foods and eating lots and lots of whole grains, fruits, and veggies and (from the perspective here) minimal protein and fat. I also went cold turkey on salt.

I started losing weight which freaked me out beyond words at first, and then gradually became a secret goal, and then an acknowledged goal, and then a major goal.

Once I got used to the low salt thing (about a month of tasteless food) I loved eating that way. My body didn't love it so much. I kept having these horrible energy crashes after working out where I'd be too hungry and brain dead to even understand that it was hunger. (The same kind of stare-at-the-wall or can't-tie-your-own-shoes stupidity you get from extended sleep deprivation.)

Eventually I went looking for more answers. All the medical authorities (my doctor, the Mayo clinic, various government sites) seemed to think DASH was a good thing but I was becoming less and less sure of that. Somewhere in there I found JP's and also started counting calories, weighing food, and using Calorie King. I was reading like crazy and trying to make sense of things, but also floundering like crazy. Everything I thought I knew was getting turned on it's head.

Then we come to the last section of the graph which is when I started working with Alan Aragon. When I started with Alan I told him that the problem wasn't that I couldn't lose weight, after all I'd been doing that for awhile. It was that I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails and was going to let go at any moment. Plus I was confused beyond words by the waves of information I was trying to swim through.

I needed something that was lower stress, something that was sustainable for the long haul. I also hadn't entirely gotten rid of the energy crashes. (My trainer had made some food suggestions that buffered the energy crash thing but it was still there.)

No doves have descended from heaven on a beam of light. I haven't gotten any divine revelations. But, I'd say food things are better or getting better in a number of ways. Even when I time things badly and don't eat near a workout I still don't get the profound crashes I was getting before. In general I seem to be a little less hungry on fewer calories (though hunger levels come and go). My stress levels about food are lower most days.

As for the sea of information, I'm still dependent on other people's assessments for the time being. I'm taking things in at the speed that I can, which is slower than I expected, but I'm slowly building up a context to understand stuff in.

There. I've talked enough for one post.

[CloveApple]

Weight and blood pressure from 1/31/08 to the present. (Since these next two graphs are linked to the originals I think they'll keep updating automagically and be current for whatever day you are viewing this.)



I've recently started adding my cycle into one version of the graph. So the peaks are when my period hits.

[Espi]

Excellent progress!

What impressed me most was you going from dreading to even go up 1 flight of stairs to walking and sometimes running up 4 flights . WTG!

[Celestialmom]

Amazing progress! So impressive--I zoned in on the walking stairs thing too. Yay for changing your life.

[gregl515]

Originally Posted by Espi

You, me & Stingo (his calories were good but the macros weren't) for falling off the bandwagon. Crazy thing is my wt went down, not up .. what's that ?

The advice I could give you is to do the training yourself but keep Alan. Why? He can also give advice re training and hopefully by now you can do the training yourself. Or like you thought yourself, have a trainer every other week rather than once a week.

I've got a webshop in food supplements and November was the worst month in 2 years as a side-effect of the financial crisis: interestingly things picked up again in Dember. We figure it must be that people figure they have to set priorities and health is one of them.. plus we cut about 10% of prices. Too bad most new & even old customers seem to opt for the most expensive paying method: Paypal with 5% provision costs as opposed to simply paying by means of debit card (7 cents).. difference is that bank transfers take 1 day, while Paypal is immediate. People want to get their stuff NOW or yesterday, not tomorrow and don't care about how much it costs to the company. We are trying to figure out incentives, and I think we just will tell them openly that whoever pays by means of Paypal won't ever get a faithful customer's discount.. that discount already goes to Paypal

I don't think people know what it costs. Paypal sells security. If banks could assure safety people would use bank cards. Maybe you could treat Paypal like businesses treat American Express and give a discount to use debit cards.

[gregl515]

What entertainment do you sell, beer and cigarettes?

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by Espi

Excellent progress!

What impressed me most was you going from dreading to even go up 1 flight of stairs to walking and sometimes running up 4 flights . WTG!

Thanks Espi. It's hard for me now to believe it had really gotten that bad, but it had. I wonder if in another year I'll look back and have a similar feeling of disbelief.

Originally Posted by Celestialmom

Amazing progress! So impressive--I zoned in on the walking stairs thing too. Yay for changing your life.

Thanks. You're doing a pretty impressive job of that yourself.

Originally Posted by gregl515

What entertainment do you sell, beer and cigarettes?

I assume you are asking Espi this??

[CloveApple]

1/13/09 Tuesday
tracked food: Yes
2 back exercises/stretches: Yes
2 hip exercises/stretches: Yes

1/14/09 Wednesday
tracked food: Yes
2 back exercises/stretches: Yes
2 hip exercises/stretches: Yes

1/15/09 Thursday
tracked food: No (Most of it is tracked with some approximations)
2 back exercises/stretches: No
2 hip exercises/stretches: No

1/16/09 Friday
tracked food: Yes (very weird feeling to track when eating totally off plan)
2 back exercises/stretches: No
2 hip exercises/stretches: No

1/17/09 Saturday
tracked food: Yes
2 back exercises/stretches: No
2 hip exercises/stretches: No

1/18/09 Sunday
tracked food: Yes
2 back exercises/stretches: Yes
2 hip exercises/stretches: Yes

at gym:
ball wall squats w/band: 20
off-wall pushups w/ball: 20
nerve flossing reaches: 10
one leg lift on ball: 10
was supposed to do a one armed row, but couldn't remember a piece of how Andrew had set it up
cat/cow: 10
traction on ball

30 minutes on elliptical w/heart monitor:
5 min warm up (100-120)
6 min at 125-145
1 min 155-170
2 min 135-155
1 min 155-170
2 min 135-155
1 min 155-170
2 min 135-155
5 min 125-145
5 min cool down (100-120)

and later in evening:
band walk 15 ft x6
side lying abduction: 20 on each side
clamshells: 20 each side

[kfisherx]

Nice yearly goals made I see. Congratulations.

BTW: I vote with Espi. Keep Alan and stall the trainer. Alan can write ya a plan that you can follow sans in person trainer. Unless you really need someone to motivate you to do the exercises. My daily reporting in is enough motivation for me... LOL!

[realcdn]

Not that you need us to tell you, but fantastic progress!

[beesknees]

Hi there! I don't know how I never noticed you were from MN until now...I just read your log and WOW! You have done some amazing things over the past year. Those graphs tell it all.

Sorry to hear your heat wasn't working right - last week was the worst for the cold. I am so glad it is over. Crossing my fingers we won't have another snap like that soon...but that might be too wishful

Are you doing any winter biking? I still see plenty of people out on the roads. They are braver then I.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Nice yearly goals made I see. Congratulations.

BTW: I vote with Espi. Keep Alan and stall the trainer. Alan can write ya a plan that you can follow sans in person trainer. Unless you really need someone to motivate you to do the exercises. My daily reporting in is enough motivation for me... LOL!

Thankies.

Even though I tend to be a flake about getting to the gym, you are probably right about the daily report motivation factor. I know it makes a difference now on the food aspects.

My main reason for not going trainer-less so far has been that I am a klutz with a capital K and I often need help with form or remembering how to do something. That's getting better and Andrew (my trainer) said he's seen a real improvement in how fast I catch on to things, but would I be up to doing a new routine from a written description? I'm doubtful.

I actually brought it up with Alan and he didn't see it as an option, and brought up an additional issue I hadn't been taking into consideration which is that I'm doing rehab-y stuff. Andrew does a lot of prehab and posthab stuff with people and is good at it. (Several times now the physical therapist has suggested something only to find out Andrew already has me doing it.)

So for at least this month and next month (and probably longer) I'm going every other week with Andrew, which is far from optimal but is the best option I could come up with.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by realcdn

Not that you need us to tell you, but fantastic progress!

Thanks

Oddly enough, I'm often the last person to notice or credit my own progress so hearing it does help.

Originally Posted by beesknees

Hi there! I don't know how I never noticed you were from MN until now...I just read your log and WOW! You have done some amazing things over the past year. Those graphs tell it all.

Sorry to hear your heat wasn't working right - last week was the worst for the cold. I am so glad it is over. Crossing my fingers we won't have another snap like that soon...but that might be too wishful

Are you doing any winter biking? I still see plenty of people out on the roads. They are braver then I.

Yup, I'm in Minneapolis. (My profile used to be vaguer so it's not surprising you didn't notice what wasn't there. )

Thanks for the props. I'm so glad we're getting a weather break now. 30 above! Break out the tanning lotion! I wanted to see if I could make it through the winter biking, but I've had to stay off the bike lately with my back and hip stuff. Next year!

[CloveApple]

Really shitty night. I don't seem to be able to make it through a week lately without some kind of stupid fucked up binge or almost-binge overeating streak. Tuesday the 30th of December, then in January Saturday the 10th, Thurs the 15th through Fri 16th...

Being pissed at myself doesn't help any but I am. Being disgusted with myself doesn't help any but I am.

[DanceDiva]

What are you binging on -- or does that not matter? ETA: I mean the type of food not mattering (that the binge just occurs on whatever you have handy).

Disgusted with yourself does matter. DON'T.

[CloveApple]

Feeling saner now. (Partly no doubt due to finally getting some sleep this afternoon. I was up pretty much all night stressing and therefore made progressively less sense.) When I see myself as "failing" I can get pretty black and white in my thinking and I tend to be a perfectionist anyway. Just getting some sleep helped with some of that.

Originally Posted by DanceDiva

What are you binging on -- or does that not matter? ETA: I mean the type of food not mattering (that the binge just occurs on whatever you have handy).

Disgusted with yourself does matter. DON'T.

Does it make sense to say it both matters and doesn't matter what I've been bingeing on?

It matters in that yup, there's a pattern. A few weeks back I was looking up the macros of some of the foods I tend to overeat or binge on. (I know some people use the words interchangeably, but to me there's a difference between bingeing and over eating). Highly processed carby goodness, preferrebly with a high fat content has always lead the pack and is often the whole of a binge, but I can binge on peanut butter or cheese. And once I get going odd foods can join the party. Heck a pork chop was part of last night. Carrots were part of one near the end which even as it was happening amused me in a twisted way.

It doesn't matter in that I don't want to react by re-eliminating those foods from my apartment. I want co-existence and I have made progress towards that goal.

I have to believe that I'll continue to make progress even though in the here and now I often feel stalled. It's only when I look back over a year that that positive changes look big and feel like a continuous story. In the day to day progress gets lost in the tumble of every day events.

(Actually that's one thing Alan's feedback really helps with: seeing the positive big picture and getting some sort of perspective.)

And you are right that disgust is not the way to go. It's just a hard thing to turn off sometimes.

[DanceDiva]

It's going to get better.

The reason why I asked about a particular food was not to suggest eliminating it. I don't have binges, however, when I have my mind set on a particular food & don't get it/have it soon, I usually end up eating more of it when I finally get it. Irrespective of whether or not I eat something in the interim. I was thinking you might have the same type of issue & but not realizing that the delay might be causing the binge.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by DanceDiva

It's going to get better.

Thanks for the reminder. You are right that it will.

Originally Posted by DanceDiva

The reason why I asked about a particular food was not to suggest eliminating it. I don't have binges, however, when I have my mind set on a particular food & don't get it/have it soon, I usually end up eating more of it when I finally get it. Irrespective of whether or not I eat something in the interim. I was thinking you might have the same type of issue & but not realizing that the delay might be causing the binge.

I've been giving this some thought. Sometimes it's really hard for me to know when to bend and have something I'm craving and when to be a purist about the whole thing. What makes it tricky is that I can so often convince myself that eating something makes sense when it doesn't. Last night it briefly made compelling sense to eat half a jar of peanut butter with chocolate chips (no I didn't). So I mistrust my inner voices.

I do think you are right that sometimes avoiding something just leads to having more of it. I'm just never sure when that when is!

[stingo]

Maybe having a planned cheat meal will help - so you know when that treat will be and what it is, so you can focus on it, rather than random shots.

[SpacecityPaula]

Interesting stuff in here and congratulations on the amazing progress

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by stingo

Maybe having a planned cheat meal will help - so you know when that treat will be and what it is, so you can focus on it, rather than random shots.

I've been planning junk meals* pretty much every week. A couple I never got to because the binge happened first. Twice a junk meal has spiraled into overeating beyond the junk meal.

When I have done a junk meal and it works right it's the oddest feeling to eat something totally "wrong" and have it be ok and on plan. I think I'm still getting used to that feeling because there's always still a little part of me that feels sheepish and like I've done something wrong.

It's a learning process. I'll get there.

Originally Posted by SpacecityPaula

Interesting stuff in here and congratulations on the amazing progress

Thankies.

*I'm calling it a junk meal because I like the way Alan's term implies that it's not cheating or off plan. I sometimes get vicious with myself when I slip up on something so I'm trying to see a planned treat as a good thing.

[stingo]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

I've been planning junk meals* pretty much every week. A couple I never got to because the binge happened first. Twice a junk meal has spiraled into overeating beyond the junk meal.

When I have done a junk meal and it works right it's the oddest feeling to eat something totally "wrong" and have it be ok and on plan. I think I'm still getting used to that feeling because there's always still a little part of me that feels sheepish and like I've done something wrong.

It's a learning process. I'll get there.

Thankies.

*I'm calling it a junk meal because I like the way Alan's term implies that it's not cheating or off plan. I sometimes get vicious with myself when I slip up on something so I'm trying to see a planned treat as a good thing.

Yup there's some things on plan (like peanut butter) that I tend to think of as off-limits, but in the recommended portions (1 serving size) they're perfectly fine. But, planning for and making room for a junk meal in your weekly food plan is good for the soul, if not for the body.

[kfisherx]

Uh... Why would peanut butter be off limits in either a cut or a bulk? You have to get 40 or more grams of fat a day and nut oils are a great fat.

[stingo]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Uh... Why would peanut butter be off limits in either a cut or a bulk? You have to get 40 or more grams of fat a day and nut oils are a great fat.

Not that they should be off limits - I just tend to think of them that way.

[SpacecityPaula]

I think what he's trying to say Karla is that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

[realcdn]

Agreed. If you can't control your portions of a specific food, it's sometimes better to avoid it. Or, find a way to just buy a small portion of it... although I'm not sure how you would do that with peanut butter. Although, having said that, our local bulk place sells it where you can buy what you want. I did that once when I wanted to try almond butter.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by stingo

Yup there's some things on plan (like peanut butter) that I tend to think of as off-limits, but in the recommended portions (1 serving size) they're perfectly fine. But, planning for and making room for a junk meal in your weekly food plan is good for the soul, if not for the body.

Mmmmm... junk meal. I just had mine.
And I doubt pie crust is on anybody's top ten health foods list, but man am I happy.

Originally Posted by stingo

Not that they should be off limits - I just tend to think of them that way.

Yeah, I think we all have our own list of foods that we think of as "guilty pleasures" or "sinful" whether it entirely makes sense or not.

Originally Posted by SpacecityPaula

I think what he's trying to say Karla is that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

I took it as more about the psychology of food. Guess we have to ask Tom what he meant?

[stingo]

It's more about enjoying a food to the point where it feels like it should not be on your food plan, if that makes sense - since you're "dieting".

[beesknees]

I have certain foods, too that I avoid simply because they are ones that I have trouble eating just the right amount. Ice cream is one of them.

Anyway, just stopped by to say "hi"

[kfisherx]

Ah... I see. I don't have that problem really. I eat all the foods that I enjoy by just fitting them into my daily food plan. I eat peanut butter and pizza nearly every day. I'll carrry this tradition into my cut and through my contest prep as well. Yes, they are weighed out carefully and restricted to fit into my macros but I never consider those to be "off limit" foods. I really only avoid those foods that make me feel poorly when I eat them even though they taste good like cakes and really sugary things.