The Big Stretch

[Espi]

Congrats on VT and too bad you had to be sick to get there.. wt will surely bump up again, as it should.

Get well soon and thanks for your insights.. they aren't crazy at all and very well appreciated. Saving up for a tummy/boob tuck is the way to go.. at least that's the only way the skin will look normal again. The challenge is to not need any liposuction anymore

Maybe others will disagree, but I see this fat loss thing as a journey and certainly NOT as a 'get in & out ASAP' thing. That's more like a surefire way to go into yo-yo mode for a lot of people.

[Bytsi]

Feel better! And yeah, the scale will bounce back, but it's still fun to see those lower numbers that will surely reappear soon.

[beesknees]

Hey there..just catching up. Just this morning I was thinking about what my ultimate goal is. Its mostly vanity driven right now when I really sit down and think about it. I don't like the word vanity either, but it really is about looking good in clothes for me at this time.

I wish I could say I was doing the get in and get out fat loss thing that Espi speaks of...I guess I am taking mine as a journey, too. It all comes back to moderation.

I lol'ed at Vermont, too. I had to think that one through the first time I saw VT.

Sorry you were sick. I am hoping sick season is on its way out although we had another round of colds/sinus stuff at the office and I am trying my best to avoid it.

[kfisherx]

Vanity should not have negative meaning but alas it does... How about body image? You are working on your body image goals as opposed to your vanity goals. For me, I am comfortable admiting that my goals are vanity based at this point. In fact I am quite proud of reaching this point in my goal setting. I went from being obese (health), to injury (health), to getting stiff and sore or old (health) to being fit, healed and feeling younger than I did in my 20s! What is left if I am not interested in sport performance? Near as I can tell it is looking HAWT and (of course) maintaining all the stuff that I have gained. That is a beautiful thing! People can make comments all they want about this admission of my goals. It is what it is and I've nothing to be ashamed of.

I also totally get what you are saying wrt the stretch marks thing. I still struggle with that myself. I was looking at pics of my last year with a 6 pack mind you and my belly skin was hanging. In a way that is sad but in another way I looked amazing with the abs popping through like they were. (and yep, I can do the 6 pack thing as a woman so even cooler) I don't have an answer to this problem except surgery but am thinking that perhaps the answer lies better within changing my acceptance of it before surgery. I think I will see where I am after this cut with it before I make up my mind what to do.

[fengshway]

Interesting posts Jen on the body image stuff. I tried to think of a positive spin on vanity and could come up with "body confidence". I work hard at body confidence. I have written before on "body acceptance" but now I am wondering if what I meant was confidence. Acceptance can be positive, as in " this is my obese body today, I love, honor and respect it, at the same time, I make changes that move me toward a healthier body" or it could mean " this is my obese body, I accept obesity as my lot in life, so let me learn to live with it. I have been in both places along the way. I am so grateful that I am no longer in that second place anymore.

I looked up vanity on wikipedia. Vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. Dictionary.com says excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, achievements, etc. I have worked too hard to limit excesses in my life. My excesses with food were the direct cause of the state that I was in when I was at my highest weight: hypertensive, prediabetes, and high cholesterol. So I'm thinking excesses haven't worked so well for me.

Re: plastic surgery, I have never had it done, but I am a big fan of it in (surprise) moderation.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by Espi

Congrats on VT and too bad you had to be sick to get there.. wt will surely bump up again, as it should.

Thanks. I'm expecting a bit of a bump, though maybe not all of it. We'll see.

Originally Posted by Espi

Get well soon and thanks for your insights.. they aren't crazy at all and very well appreciated. Saving up for a tummy/boob tuck is the way to go.. at least that's the only way the skin will look normal again. The challenge is to not need any liposuction anymore

LOL. Don't go signing me up for surgery yet! It'll be at least a year after I stop fat loss before I know how much skin recovery I'll get.

Originally Posted by Espi

Maybe others will disagree, but I see this fat loss thing as a journey and certainly NOT as a 'get in & out ASAP' thing. That's more like a surefire way to go into yo-yo mode for a lot of people.

I'm pretty much eating now the way I'll be eating at maintenance, so in that sense I'm definitely not doing get in and get out. I have to assume "get in & out ASAP" works well for some people though.

Originally Posted by Bytsi

Feel better! And yeah, the scale will bounce back, but it's still fun to see those lower numbers that will surely reappear soon.

154 this morning. I'm trying not to take these numbers too seriously, but they sure are purty. Maybe the whoosh fairy will let me keep some of them.

I'm starting to feel a little better though I'm still definitely under the weather. Yesterday my appetite came back with a vengeance, so I'm hoping I'll be up to the gym today.

Originally Posted by beesknees

Hey there..just catching up. Just this morning I was thinking about what my ultimate goal is. Its mostly vanity driven right now when I really sit down and think about it. I don't like the word vanity either, but it really is about looking good in clothes for me at this time.

And that looking good in clothes stuff can be pretty fun!

Originally Posted by beesknees

I wish I could say I was doing the get in and get out fat loss thing that Espi speaks of...I guess I am taking mine as a journey, too. It all comes back to moderation.

I lol'ed at Vermont, too. I had to think that one through the first time I saw VT.

Sorry you were sick. I am hoping sick season is on its way out although we had another round of colds/sinus stuff at the office and I am trying my best to avoid it.

Hey, as long as we get there we are doing awesome however we do it. I really like Mahler's latest motivating post about that. I hope you manage to continue ducking cold season.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Vanity should not have negative meaning but alas it does... How about body image? You are working on your body image goals as opposed to your vanity goals. For me, I am comfortable admiting that my goals are vanity based at this point. In fact I am quite proud of reaching this point in my goal setting. I went from being obese (health), to injury (health), to getting stiff and sore or old (health) to being fit, healed and feeling younger than I did in my 20s! What is left if I am not interested in sport performance? Near as I can tell it is looking HAWT and (of course) maintaining all the stuff that I have gained. That is a beautiful thing! People can make comments all they want about this admission of my goals. It is what it is and I've nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm still searching for a better word for wanting to look good. Looking up vanity gives me stuff like: conceit, ego, egoism, egotism, narcissism, pride, vainglory, vainness. Slang: ego trip. Yuck. Though pride can be a good one, but the rest... LOL. I'm very much a word person so I'm going to be chewing on this for awhile.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

I also totally get what you are saying wrt the stretch marks thing. I still struggle with that myself. I was looking at pics of my last year with a 6 pack mind you and my belly skin was hanging. In a way that is sad but in another way I looked amazing with the abs popping through like they were. (and yep, I can do the 6 pack thing as a woman so even cooler) I don't have an answer to this problem except surgery but am thinking that perhaps the answer lies better within changing my acceptance of it before surgery. I think I will see where I am after this cut with it before I make up my mind what to do.

Yeah, that's sure not a decision to rush into. Surgery is one of those things you can't un-choose. At least body comp is slow and reversible so that every moment is an ongoing choice. (Who would have thought those were pluses!)

Plus surgery can leave it's own marks. I don't know how common scarring is (or how honest the surgeons trying to sell the procedures are), but I've certainly seen some scars from breast reductions or other surgeries on some of the residents at my job over the years.

[fengshway]

We were posting at the same time. Yeah me too on the words thing. I believe that our thoughts and our words become our reality, so I will be chewing on this one too!

[kfisherx]

You know.... This is interesting. I am SO not a word person. I never knew all those words were associated with Vanity. For me it is in the intent more than the word. That is why I get in trouble all the time on these forums.

Can't wait to see what you gals come up with. For me... I am embracing my goals of looking HAWT and don't give a damn what people think about that. If it is vanity to their eyes so be it. I have worked hard to get to this place and will work harder still to get to the next level... Whatever that is.

And I hear ya on the surgery thing. Even more than leaving scare tissue is just the fact that I hate hospitals or feeling like shit or going under the knife. It is super hard for me to do that in any case let alone for this one. I am going to work on my acceptance for some time first.

[Brandy]

I'm really enjoying reading your log. You are so honest with your thoughts and feelings. I can really relate.

Are you 5 feet tall too? I am always so excited to meet people my own height because it is so difficult to gauge weight gain and loss on a small frame. 5 pounds on shorties is like 10-15 on more vertically endowed women.

I hope some of your sick weight stays off. It always feels like a bit of a cleanse after being sick for a while. Hopefully it will be followed by some good momentum.

BTW, Samoas are my favorite Girl Scout Cookie.

[CloveApple]

Catching up on posting workouts here. (haven't posted any since 4/6/09) I'll reply to everyone I promise, but I just wanted to get this stuff caught up first.

Thursday 4/9/09
Can't remember why, but I was pressed for time and did fewer sets.

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10? lost count
. (my own silly name for a more difficult variant on the dead bug)
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side
hamstring stretch: 1x each side
stretch w/ JC arms: 1x each side
squat: 15 w/ 18#, 15 w/ 20# (single DB)
taps: 2 sets of 15 each side
flossing: 10 each side (a stretch)
hip circles on ball: 20 each direction (cw & ccw)
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side held for count of 10
knee drop w/ ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 15 each side w/ 45#, 15 each side w/ 50#
assisted pull up: 12, 13 (112# assistance)
DB press on ball: 2 sets of 15 w/ 15# DBs
DB triceps ball swim: 2 sets of 12 w/ 8#
kneeling reverse chop: 2 sets of 15 on each side w/ 6# med ball
trunk traction on ball

Monday 4/13/09

cat/camel: x10 (this stretch was feeling particularly good this day)
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side
foam roll
hamstring stretch: 2x each side
stretch w/ JC arms: 2x each side
squat: 3 sets of 15 w/ 25# (single DB)
taps: 3 sets of 15 each side
flossing: 10 each side (a stretch)
hip circles on ball: 20 each direction (cw & ccw)
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side held for count of 10
knee drop w/ ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 2 sets of 15 each side w/ 50#, 1 set of 12
assisted pull up: 14, 13, 14 (112# assistance)
DB press on ball: 3 sets of 15 w/ 15# DBs
DB triceps ball swim: 2 sets of 12 w/ 8#
kneeling reverse chop: 1 set 15 on each side w/ 6# med ball
. 1 set 15 w/ 10# med ball
. (not sure why 2 sets or if I made a mistake in my log & really did 3)
trunk traction on ball

Wednesday 4/15/09

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side
rest on back w/feet on ball
foam roll
hamstring stretch: 2x each side
stretch w/ JC arms: 2x each side
squat: 3 sets of 15 w/ 25# (single DB)
taps: 3 sets of 15 each side
flossing: 10 each side (a stretch)
hip circles on ball: 20 each direction (cw & ccw)
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side held for count of 10
knee drop w/ ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 3 sets of 15 each side w/ 50#
assisted pull up: 15 (112# assistance), 11, 10 (106# assistance)
DB press on ball: 3 sets of 15 w/ 15# DBs
DB triceps ball swim: 3 sets of 12 w/ 8#
kneeling reverse chop: 3 sets of 15 w/10# med ball
trunk traction on ball

30 leisurely minutes: 20 elliptical & 10 on ARC (only to 140 heart rate) . --basically I wanted to listen to more of the Venuto audiobook &
. figured I might as well do something instead of sitting)

Saturday 4/18/09
Got sick late Thursday evening and Saturday I was still sick as a dog. I worked out at home with lots of pauses and lots of slow stupid staring at the walls while I tried to remember what I was doing and what my name was.

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side

bridging w/stability ball: 10
quadruped opposite arm knee circles: 10 each side & each direction
clamshells: 20 each side
bandwalk: 2 each direction w/ green band
plank on ball: 25 seconds x4
push ups on ball: 3 sets of 15
knee to chest (1 knee): 2 each side
knee to op shoulder: 2 each side
full length stretch: 1 all together, 1 each side

Monday 4/20/09 (still sick but better, appetite back)

I had cancelled w/ Andrew since I was still sick as a dog on Sunday. Worked out at home.

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side
bridging w/stability ball: 10
quadruped opposite arm knee circles: 10 each side & each direction
clamshells: 20 each side
bandwalk: 3 each direction w/ green band (can we say ouch?)
plank on ball: 25 seconds x4
push ups on ball: 3 sets of 15
knee to chest (1 knee): 2 each side
knee to op shoulder: 2 each side
full length stretch: 1 all together, 1 each side

Tuesday 4/21/09

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side
rest on back w/ feet on ball
foam roll

hamstring stretch: 2x each side
stretch w/ JC arms: 2x each side
squat: 3 sets of 15 w/ 25# (single DB)
taps: 3 sets of 15 each side
flossing: 10 each side (a stretch)
hip circles on ball: 20 each direction (cw & ccw)
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side held for count of 10
knee drop w/ ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 1 set of 15 each side w/ 50#
. (left hip was bugging me on this so I stopped after the 1 set)
assisted pull up: 14 (106# assistance), 14, 10 (100# assistance)
DB press on ball: 3 sets of 15 w/ 15# DBs
DB triceps ball swim: 3 sets of 12 w/ 8#
kneeling reverse chop: 3 sets of 15 w/ 10# med ball

Had a little extra time & did 15 lazy minutes on the elliptical while finishing part one of the Venuto audiobook. (Lazy = only up to 115 heart rate.) By the way I highly recommend the book so far. I'm actually going to get the hard copy. Parts of it were pissing me off, but in a good way. Whenever I started to argue with it, it was a part I needed to hear.

Wednesday 4/22/09

30 minutes ARC, 6 1-minute sprints

5 minute warm up (100-120 heart rate)
1 minute 135-155
repeat x6:
. 2 minutes 135-155
. 1 minute 155-170
6 minute cool down (100-120)

Thursday 4/23/09

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with 1.5# ankle weight each side

Saturday 4/25/09

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with 1.5# ankle weight each side

hamstring stretch: 2x each side
stretch w/ JC arms: 2x each side
squat: 3 sets of 15 w/ 25# (single DB)
taps: 3 sets of 15 each side
flossing: 10 each side (a stretch)
hip circles on ball: 20 each direction (cw & ccw)
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side held for count of 10
knee drop w/ ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 3 sets of 15 each side w/ 50#
. (was prepared to stop but left hip was better than last time)
assisted pull up: 14, 15, 12 (100# assistance)
DB press on ball: 3 sets of 15 w/ 18# DBs
DB triceps ball swim: 3 sets of 15 w/ 8#
. (It may look like I could have moved up on these a while back, but
. they've been a struggle at 8# & I probably should have dropped
. down a while back as my control sucked. Getting better though.)
kneeling reverse chop: 3 sets of 15 w/ 10# med ball
(probably time to move up on these.)
trunk traction on ball

17 minutes on ARC
Gym was about to close & my heart rate was already up so I skipped warm up and did:
5 minutes at 125-145
repeat 3 times:
. 1 min sprint at 155-170
. 2 minutes 135-155
then the last 3 minutes were 125-145, and I walked outside as my cool down

[kfisherx]

Girl!!! Why do you feel compelled to workout at home (workout at all) when you are sick? That doesn't seem to make any sense at all. You do rest weeks right? Being sick is simply a time of rest ALA rest week. I took the past 5 days off from working out. It was not a rest week per say but my body said it needed to chill a bit.

[CloveApple]

I've been having a pretty bad case of the sulks. Apparently somebody is supposed to do the hard stuff for me, I'm not supposed to have to make choices, oh yeah, and I'm supposed to get all the stuff I want. Anyway the food has sucked. Some of it was binge-y stuff. More of it was plain old not giving a fuck or pure tantrumming.

Sometimes I really don't want to be an adult.

But then I look at the people I work with and see how few choices they get in their lives, and I'm damn glad that I get to make my own choices (stupid ones included), and that I get the opportunity to work at stuff.

Really I'm so lucky it's ridiculous.

Anyway I'm going to quit yelling at my inner two year old. (I work with people. I know better than to lecture them when they sulk or eff up. Why do I think that lecturing myself will work?) And I'm going to commit to finding some cool shiny fun stuff to do. Cause in the end, for most (maybe all?) of the stuff in our lives it's all a matter of approach whether it's play or work.

Both take effort and concentration, but one is a lot more fun.

Originally Posted by fengshway

Interesting posts Jen on the body image stuff. I tried to think of a positive spin on vanity and could come up with "body confidence". I work hard at body confidence. I have written before on "body acceptance" but now I am wondering if what I meant was confidence. Acceptance can be positive, as in " this is my obese body today, I love, honor and respect it, at the same time, I make changes that move me toward a healthier body" or it could mean " this is my obese body, I accept obesity as my lot in life, so let me learn to live with it. I have been in both places along the way. I am so grateful that I am no longer in that second place anymore.

I was playing with the phrase "body pride," but ya know I'm starting to think "looking good in clothes" covers it better than anything I've come up with so far. I'm pretty sure part of my brain is still chewing on it though.

I see what you mean about acceptance sometimes meaning a kind of resignation. Not a fun place to live.

Yet the other kind of acceptance is vital. Sometimes I'm there and think my body is pretty darn neat, but then sometimes I treat my body like it was this somewhat distasteful thing I'm hauling around.

Originally Posted by fengshway

We were posting at the same time. Yeah me too on the words thing. I believe that our thoughts and our words become our reality, so I will be chewing on this one too!

*nods* It's hard to make something real if you can't even name it or describe it. Finding those words is a step towards creating what you want.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Can't wait to see what you gals come up with. For me... I am embracing my goals of looking HAWT and don't give a damn what people think about that.

Good for you following your own compass.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

And I hear ya on the surgery thing. Even more than leaving scare tissue is just the fact that I hate hospitals or feeling like shit or going under the knife. It is super hard for me to do that in any case let alone for this one. I am going to work on my acceptance for some time first.

I've never had surgery but I've taken care of enough recovering patients to know it'd be an absolute last resort for me.

Originally Posted by Brandy

I'm really enjoying reading your log. You are so honest with your thoughts and feelings. I can really relate.

Are you 5 feet tall too? I am always so excited to meet people my own height because it is so difficult to gauge weight gain and loss on a small frame. 5 pounds on shorties is like 10-15 on more vertically endowed women.

Thanks.
And yup, exactly 5 feet. I always tell people I make a great measuring stick. (Hey, everybody has to have a talent. )

Originally Posted by Brandy

I hope some of your sick weight stays off. It always feels like a bit of a cleanse after being sick for a while. Hopefully it will be followed by some good momentum.

BTW, Samoas are my favorite Girl Scout Cookie.

Oddly enough it did stay off. I bounced up more recently, but that was from eating a bunch of stupid stuff.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Girl!!! Why do you feel compelled to workout at home (workout at all) when you are sick? That doesn't seem to make any sense at all. You do rest weeks right? Being sick is simply a time of rest ALA rest week. I took the past 5 days off from working out. It was not a rest week per say but my body said it needed to chill a bit.

Hmm, maybe it didn't make total sense. On the other hand the first part was stuff I'm supposed to do every day for my back/hip/SI joint, and the second part was by far the easier of my two routines. (So much so that I haven't been counting it as a work out in terms of calorie adjustments on Alan's plan.)

That second workout (my B routine) probably got too easy because I've only been working with my trainer every other week and I simply progressed faster than stuff got added. I saw him yesterday (Monday) and let's just say that that's no longer a problem!

Still maybe you're right that I should've just focused on recovering. I can't say I was thinking entirely clearly. I've been such a flake about getting all my workouts in and the last time Andrew looked at my logs I could see him visibly struggle to find something positive to say. So maybe I went too far the other way.

As for rest weeks... between just plain old flaking out and the stupid ongoing SI joint stuff I don't think I'm in any danger of overtraining.

[fengshway]

jennifer, I really like "body pride". I think we should have a "body pride" parade. looking good in clothes works for me too. funny, the weight that I lost since joining JP is the weight that catapulted me from "looking okay in clothes" to "absolutely loving how clothes fit". clothes just fit better now. and I think it is just as much about the muscle that I have gained (in addition to the fat loss).

stay the course, temporary tantrums are just part of the deal.

[GinnyLou]

I really love reading your workouts and wow, you have come a very long way. I also love reading your insights on all the mental parts. I guess we all deal with that part of things. You are inspirational.

[realcdn]

Hey there. The only thing I can add is that I've heard you need to give yourself probably a year at your goal weight to see how your body is likely going to look. I'd say the first step is to get where you want (for health) then work on adding a little muscle and see how you feel. In the end being strong, fit and healthy might be enough. If not, I suppose there are other options.

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by fengshway

jennifer, I really like "body pride". I think we should have a "body pride" parade. looking good in clothes works for me too. funny, the weight that I lost since joining JP is the weight that catapulted me from "looking okay in clothes" to "absolutely loving how clothes fit". clothes just fit better now. and I think it is just as much about the muscle that I have gained (in addition to the fat loss).

Ooooh! A parade! I'm always in for a parade.

Originally Posted by fengshway

stay the course, temporary tantrums are just part of the deal.

Yeah, I'm learning that. I think I have these unmeetable expectations of constant brilliant progress and never doing anything stupid or flaking out. This might sound odd but one of my goals is to get good at sucking (yeah that came out a bit pervy), by which I mean getting good at doing badly. Because to learn any new thing, to achieve anything, I have to learn to muddle through and be willing to do things badly or unevenly.

The stuff I can do brilliantly is the stuff I already have down, the progress stuff is always going to be a little messy.

Originally Posted by GinnyLou

I really love reading your workouts and wow, you have come a very long way. I also love reading your insights on all the mental parts. I guess we all deal with that part of things. You are inspirational.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by realcdn

Hey there. The only thing I can add is that I've heard you need to give yourself probably a year at your goal weight to see how your body is likely going to look. I'd say the first step is to get where you want (for health) then work on adding a little muscle and see how you feel. In the end being strong, fit and healthy might be enough. If not, I suppose there are other options.

*nods* It's going to be awhile before I know what's what. I think I'm pretty close fat loss wise. (Maybe 20-30 pounds to go?)

The health stuff besides fat loss is going to take longer than I thought. The SI joint stuff is ongoing and it's still limiting what I can do, though I do think I'm on the right track. (The new exercises Andrew gave me on Monday --I'll post my workouts later today-- really hit all the weak muscles like glutes that need strengthening.)

As for adding muscle, I so want to do that. The more I look at pictures and think about it, the more an off-season bodybuilder look is my personal ideal. I feel a little silly posting that, like I should take it back or like it might not be realistic.

But hey, to hell with realistic. Long term goals are never realistic sounding in the short term.

Still, I hesitate to mention my thoughts to Andrew. Oh well, better to start the conversation too soon than to not let him know what I'm thinking. I think I startled Alan by saying something about my recent thoughts on ideal body type the other day, as I had only talked with him a very little bit about my musings about opening myself up to goals that weren't purely health or functional.

And who knows where I'll be or what I'll want in another year? It may have all changed again. Still, it's worth it to reach for that vision of the future.

Speaking of Alan, I'm a little sad to be about to end working with him. I've got just about a week left. Still, I've gotten an incredible amount out of the time I've worked with him and I've been lucky to have had that opportunity.

[Brandy]

Originally Posted by CloveApple

As for adding muscle, I so want to do that. The more I look at pictures and think about it, the more an off-season bodybuilder look is my personal ideal. I feel a little silly posting that, like I should take it back or like it might not be realistic.

But hey, to hell with realistic. Long term goals are never realistic sounding in the short term.

I think this is a great goal. So much better than a specific number. Also, didn't you used to have a quote for your signature about "immeasurable dreams"? It's goals like this that will keep you going when you get frustrated. And putting it out into the universe is the first step--so good for you to post it.
(Just got back from a run--can you tell my endorphins are going crazy.)

[fengshway]

jennifer, I totally get what you mean with the off season body builder look, at least the ones who are natural here locally. the steroid look doesn't appeal to me regardless of in season or out of season. but I really do like the way the natural women look in their off season. I think it is a marvelous goal for you and I can totally see it. you are blessed with a great deal of natural muscle mass! lifting to put on more will only enhance that. once I do boston next year, I am going to put on some muscle too, but I won't be lifting in a bodybuilder way. my trainer used to own a gym that caters to bodybuilders. and he was in the sport himself for years. he has since totally switched his area of interest to functional strength. (he is 55 now). he says that I will have no problem gaining muscle while continuing to train complex movements instead of isolated body parts. my goal will be to ratchet back the running and focus more on usable strength that will help me as I age.

keep at the fat loss thing, you are doing great. BTW, I was laughing about the post above where you want someone else to do the hard stuff for you. ME TOO. I will troll for volunteers to do my tuesday track workouts. also would have loved some volunteers during the hungry parts of my fat loss journey. oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

[kfisherx]

Hey Jennifer! I think your new goal is FABULOUS! (Of course I would)

But now that you have made that goal go one more step. Women and BBing are things that don't easily register in a lot of minds. Or they do register but in forms all over the board and often in a negative way. Look at pictures of bodybuilders and figure out where you want to ultimately go. It is actually often a tiny bit hard to tell women who are using steroids versus natural ones. Sometimes, if they have misused the drugs, you can tell by the jaw lines, etc but not always. Bodybuilding is a sport where you honestly can get bigger and bigger and bigger every year (even if by a little bit). The result is that someone who has been doing it for 20 or more years will be REALLY big and even bigger than many of the ones on AAS. So instead of classifying builders as steriod versus non-steriod users, (I get the concept but it muddles the line) go out and seek your own very distinct line. It is a very personal thing and I think it changes (it is for me) as time goes on. Doing this will ultimately help you and help others to help you. Start right away with being able to articulate and visualize what it is that you want very specifically. Look at pics of builders and find the "right" sized person that you want to emulate. Most likely, (in the beginning) it will be a fitness model or a beginner builder. If you look up the pros, you can also find off season pics of them. (I can help ya with that if you need it) Anyway, you can use these pictures to show Andrew and that can help you articulate your eventual end goal without all the subjectivity and potentially negative thoughts.

I am highly excited for you and this decision. It may change your path now and you may have some decisions new to make. I know when I finally was able to articulate my goals to my trainer we launched (almost immediately) into my first bulk/strength cycle. It was very hard for me mentally, but that four month period completely restructured my body. I came in looking like a fitness woman. This year I will come in looking like an actual beginner bber.

[CloveApple]

workouts:

Monday 4/27/09

My session with Andrew. He had a bunch of new things to add to my B routine (which is designed so I can do it at home or at the gym -- talk about no excuses). As usual I can't tell you reps or anything like that.

New stuff:
lunges w/ ball behind my back
a harder version of push ups on ball (legs on ball)
pike on ball
sideways crunches on ball

Wow did I feel these the next day. A co-worker commented that I was walking gingerly on the stairs. I was psyched though because the spot I was feeling it is exactly the spot I need to work on most.

We also talked about reps on all the things I'm doing right now. Some of the exercises are mainly targeting my core & those are still higher rep, but I'll be lowering the reps on other things which means some weights will jump up next session.

Wednesday 4/29/09

cat/camel: x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: 10 each side
rube goldberg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 4x one minute with one lb ankle weight each side

Then B routine with the new stuff. I don't feel confident of the form on all of these (I'm always that way with new stuff) so I'm not treating the numbers as "real" until I'm sure I'm doing them right. I won't be surprised if I realize something is off and reps drop. Or they might be fine.

bridging w/ball: 12,12
quadruped op arm knee circles: 10 each side & each direction
. (probably time to change these)
bandwalk: 3 in each direction w/green band
plank on ball: 4 x25 seconds
lunge w/ball: 2 sets of 15 each side
push ups on ball: 12,12 (newer version w/legs on ball)
pike on ball: 15, 10 (ended by managing to fall off ball)
sideways crunch on ball: 12, 12 (something felt off on this)
knee to chest stretch: 2 each side
knee to op shoulder stretch: 2 each side
full length stretch: 1 each side & 1 all together

Friday 5/1/09

cat/camel x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: x10 each side
rube goldburg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 1 minute x4 each side with 1.5# ankle weight
rest w/ft on chair
foam roll

30 minutes on the ARC. I couldn't find the card with my usual interval routine on it so I approximated.
3 minutes 100-125
3 minutes 125-135
repeat 6 times:
. 2 minutes 135-155
. 1 minute sprint at 155-170
3 minutes 135-155
3 minutes 100-135

Saturday 5/2/09

hamstring stretch: 3 each side
stretch w/JC arms: count of 20, 2 each side
squat: 12 @30#, 12 @35# (single DB held in front)
. Didn't mark these red since weight only went up from dropping reps
taps: 2 sets of 15 each side
flossing (a stretch): 10 each side
hip circles: 20 each direction
one leg lift on ball: 10 each side for count of 10
. (probably time to move up on this)
knee drop w/ball: 5 each side
one arm cable row: 12 @50#, 8R/10L @60
assisted pull up: 9 (failure attempting 10), 7 w/94# assistance (plate 17)
DB press on ball: 12, 12 @20#
DB triceps ball swim: 12 @8#, 12 @10#
. (was ready to move up from 8 but not sure about 10, want a 9)
kneeling reverse chop: 2 sets of 15 each side w/10# med ball
trunk traction on ball

Sunday 5/3/09

cat/camel x5
child's pose
downward dog
cobra
hipflexor lying: x10 each side
rube goldburg bug: 10
glute max retrain: 1 minute x4 each side with 1.5# ankle weight
. Past time to go to 2 lbs. I keep forgetting to bring the higher weight.
foam roll

Hip/SI joint feeling off and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do cardio, but once I got going it was fine.

ARC 30 minutes:
5 minutes warm up 100-120
6 minutes 125-145
repeat 3x:
. 1 minute 155-170
. 2 minutes 135-155
5 minutes 125-145
5 minute cool down 100-120

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by Brandy

I think this is a great goal. So much better than a specific number. Also, didn't you used to have a quote for your signature about "immeasurable dreams"? It's goals like this that will keep you going when you get frustrated. And putting it out into the universe is the first step--so good for you to post it.
(Just got back from a run--can you tell my endorphins are going crazy.)

Ahh, I love that quote! It's Sidonia's sig line right now:

"Every measurable accomplishment begins with immeasurable belief."
-Alan Aragon

Originally Posted by fengshway

jennifer, I totally get what you mean with the off season body builder look, at least the ones who are natural here locally. the steroid look doesn't appeal to me regardless of in season or out of season. but I really do like the way the natural women look in their off season. I think it is a marvelous goal for you and I can totally see it. you are blessed with a great deal of natural muscle mass! lifting to put on more will only enhance that.

Originally Posted by fengshway

once I do boston next year, I am going to put on some muscle too, but I won't be lifting in a bodybuilder way. my trainer used to own a gym that caters to bodybuilders. and he was in the sport himself for years. he has since totally switched his area of interest to functional strength. (he is 55 now). he says that I will have no problem gaining muscle while continuing to train complex movements instead of isolated body parts. my goal will be to ratchet back the running and focus more on usable strength that will help me as I age.

Cool, to hear your goals beyond Boston. Luckily for all of us there's always more than one (or 2 or 3) ways to train, so there's approaches to suit everybody.

Originally Posted by fengshway

keep at the fat loss thing, you are doing great. BTW, I was laughing about the post above where you want someone else to do the hard stuff for you. ME TOO. I will troll for volunteers to do my tuesday track workouts. also would have loved some volunteers during the hungry parts of my fat loss journey. oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Hmmm... There's gotta be a way to do this. There's even a kind of precedent. Princes used to have assigned "whipping boys" to take their punishments (since kings were divine and therefore you couldn't punish them). So surely we could work out some way for someone else to take on the hard parts.

Thing is I have this little hunch that the person doing the hard parts would be the person getting the benefits.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Hey Jennifer! I think your new goal is FABULOUS! (Of course I would)

Gee, why would you think that?

Originally Posted by kfisherx

But now that you have made that goal go one more step. Women and BBing are things that don't easily register in a lot of minds. Or they do register but in forms all over the board and often in a negative way. Look at pictures of bodybuilders and figure out where you want to ultimately go. It is actually often a tiny bit hard to tell women who are using steroids versus natural ones. Sometimes, if they have misused the drugs, you can tell by the jaw lines, etc but not always. Bodybuilding is a sport where you honestly can get bigger and bigger and bigger every year (even if by a little bit). The result is that someone who has been doing it for 20 or more years will be REALLY big and even bigger than many of the ones on AAS. So instead of classifying builders as steriod versus non-steriod users, (I get the concept but it muddles the line) go out and seek your own very distinct line. It is a very personal thing and I think it changes (it is for me) as time goes on. Doing this will ultimately help you and help others to help you. Start right away with being able to articulate and visualize what it is that you want very specifically. Look at pics of builders and find the "right" sized person that you want to emulate. Most likely, (in the beginning) it will be a fitness model or a beginner builder. If you look up the pros, you can also find off season pics of them. (I can help ya with that if you need it) Anyway, you can use these pictures to show Andrew and that can help you articulate your eventual end goal without all the subjectivity and potentially negative thoughts.

I am highly excited for you and this decision. It may change your path now and you may have some decisions new to make. I know when I finally was able to articulate my goals to my trainer we launched (almost immediately) into my first bulk/strength cycle. It was very hard for me mentally, but that four month period completely restructured my body. I came in looking like a fitness woman. This year I will come in looking like an actual beginner bber.

I've only gotten as far as opening up the topic with Andrew. Up to this point we'd mostly been talking about fat loss as a goal with some mention of strength, and then of course more recently a lot of the focus has been on the hip and back pain. So Monday I mentioned hypertrophy as a long term goal for the first time.

I hadn't thought of this as a decision point. Something to chew on.

[CloveApple]

Feeling ridiculously frazzled and fragile this morning. Too stressed to sleep much last night. I've been wondering for quite awhile if I just get more stressed out when trying to do the deficit thing because I'm a perfectionist and perfection isn't going to happen in this game, or if it's just that both deficits and binges fuck with you in general. Or if it's that I'm so used to using food as a coping mechanism that my stress levels go way up when I try to handle food differently and when I'm tracking food instead of having instant amnesia.

It's funny because I have a reputation for being uber patient, and I think of myself as having a long slow fuse before I get mad, but lately I don't feel like I have any patience or tact and it feels like I get thrown off balance way too easily.

Thank god I have a coffee date with a long time friend tomorrow and plans with another this weekend. I really need to unload on somebody who knows I can be solid and reliable, and that this is not my usual way of being.

The hip/SI joint thing is still acting up off and on. Tuesday I couldn't handle stairs at all and walking was difficult. I ended up calling in sick to work. Today or tomorrow I'm going to try a 5 to 15 minute ride on my bike and see if I can handle it. I haven't biked outside since sometime in late November or maybe December and I miss it beyond words.

I'm also having some kind of communication problem with Alan that I don't understand. I consider him a ridiculously reasonable human being, so for the moment I'm assuming it's something on my side but I've no idea what.

Anyway I'm just being a cranky pants. At least I have some good workouts to log. Right now I'm going to have breakfast and see if that makes me feel better, go run errands, and then I'll log the workouts when I get back.

[kfisherx]

I think being in deficit fucks with your mood in general. The diet I am currently on is HORRIBLE for my mood overall. Everyone says I am cranky so I know it isn't just me imagining things. I am accepting it though as part of the process and trying to be good despite the fact I want to kill someone. LOL!

Hope you get your communication problems solved shortly. Alan has been a tiny bit scarce this week compared to normal. My assumption is that he is heads down on something wonderful. (Just to let you know it isn't only you) I have found that if you have a priority issue, he will be there for you no matter what else is up. Call him if you need to.

[realcdn]

You know, sometimes you're just allowed to have a bad day. Hopefully you'll get lots of sleep tonight and tomorrow will be better.

[beesknees]

I have felt unusually crabby when I know I am in a deficit. I feel bad for those around me! It does mess with you. Have a nice time with your friend!

[fengshway]

Jennifer I know you will rebound from this. I found that maintenance calories for a while would help the nasty crankies. Of course it took me 10 years to lose 80 pounds, because my diet breaks would last months or even years!

[gregl515]

My wife used to get almost clinically depressed when we would do low carb diets. She did wonderfully on Weight Watchers because it was balanced. I, on the other hand, do much better with low carb and Weight Watchers drove me mad.

I don't know exactly what diet scheme you are on, but you should take into account what it does to your emotions and sense of well being.

[CloveApple]

I've been having a couple busy but decent days. I tried one reply but my browser would have none of it. So I'm part way through another but it's taking longer than usual because copy and paste are acting weird. More when I get home from work (time to run madly out the door)...

[CloveApple]

Originally Posted by kfisherx

I think being in deficit fucks with your mood in general. The diet I am currently on is HORRIBLE for my mood overall. Everyone says I am cranky so I know it isn't just me imagining things. I am accepting it though as part of the process and trying to be good despite the fact I want to kill someone. LOL!

*nods* Yeah, being hungry sucks. And I think that even when I'm not noticing hunger, I'm noticing a loss of patience with stuff. People are always telling me my job takes so much patience & usually that just amuses me, because I don't think the people I take care of require all that much patience for the most part (the bureaucracy sure, but so many jobs have that). Lately, though I struggle to treat people the way they deserve.

And it's not just deficits. Binges throw me off in their own ways. If it's a bad enough one I feel physically sick. If it's not at that level the macros can still be off enough to throw me off physically (for example a sugar crash). If it's a little binge-y thing, then we're more talking mental consequences like guilt.

Originally Posted by kfisherx

Hope you get your communication problems solved shortly. Alan has been a tiny bit scarce this week compared to normal. My assumption is that he is heads down on something wonderful. (Just to let you know it isn't only you) I have found that if you have a priority issue, he will be there for you no matter what else is up. Call him if you need to.

Thanks so much for this. It helped me chill out some when I saw it. And yes there was an explanation.

Originally Posted by realcdn

You know, sometimes you're just allowed to have a bad day. Hopefully you'll get lots of sleep tonight and tomorrow will be better.

True. A lot of times that's all it takes.

Originally Posted by beesknees

I have felt unusually crabby when I know I am in a deficit. I feel bad for those around me! It does mess with you. Have a nice time with your friend!

Had a good time with both friends. Went shoe shopping with one and bought some shoes.

I've been needing new shoes for months now and putting it off. I like them & I'm really hoping having some better fitting shoes helps with the SI joint stuff.

Saturday I saw Star Trek with the other friend and we thought all the same parts were good and/or silly. We both agreed that the actor playing a young Kirk didn't play it quite right because he wasn't a bad enough actor!!

Originally Posted by fengshway

Jennifer I know you will rebound from this. I found that maintenance calories for a while would help the nasty crankies. Of course it took me 10 years to lose 80 pounds, because my diet breaks would last months or even years!

I may end up taking some of this slower than I expected myself. For sure it's saner to take periodic breaks than push myself till I binge. (Though I'm not sure that's the cause of every binge, but I think it can contribute.)

Originally Posted by gregl515

My wife used to get almost clinically depressed when we would do low carb diets. She did wonderfully on Weight Watchers because it was balanced. I, on the other hand, do much better with low carb and Weight Watchers drove me mad.

I don't know exactly what diet scheme you are on, but you should take into account what it does to your emotions and sense of well being.

I don't think I'm doing truly low carb if I understand right, but when I stick to it it's lower carb than I've ever done before. (It's about 97g carb a day when I'm compliant). I've spent a while thinking about something you said earlier "I've had that pattern of eating in the past. It is usually a sign of depression in me." I've come more and more to the conclusion that I eat certain things to shift my moods. Not sure what else to make of it, but it's something I've been thinking about.

Man, this post was surprisingly hard to write without being able to copy or paste.

[SpacecityPaula]

Changing habits (particularly food habits) is hard.....