Maybe I am being too hard on myself. I feel like I'm not done. Maybe I have body dysmorphia? No, I don't. I can see where I'm lean and see where I'm not. I choose not to display the ugly parts, but they are there. Relics of having once been much larger. I've got the stretch marks to prove it.
I know I can go on like I am and just get stronger, but I feel like I have no room to go "up" in weight. When I do, I feel it pretty quickly in the waistline.
I don't want to be an over analyzing, obsessive diet planner, either. I know what needs to happen if I want to lose more fat. The details are almost insignificant. I've done it. When I want it, I'll do it. Or if.
I'm not totally frustrated. Just made a plan and didn't stick to it as well as I'd like. Tomorrow is a new day.
Been there. And was constantly torn between being "good enough" and "not perfect" (as I guess is the best way to put it). There's nothing wrong with it, but it does require more… determined? I donno. Not like I got there, and now I have another 30 to lose again so what do I know?
We've already got two challenges going on right now. If you want to start a new one at the first of the year, then that'd be awesome. W\ 4mo to go on the current ones, it'll distract folks. It's up to you of course.
It just sounds like you're struggling to find satisfaction in what you're doing because you've picked a pretty unforgiving measuring stick (mirror). Perhaps it's time to think about finding a stricter performance style goal (maybe involving your aerobics cert?).
Maybe stepping back and looking at why you didn't stick to the plan might be an option here. That way you could address the cause or causes accordingly. If you say you already know the answer to that question, then list ways you'll address one of those reasons, and start implementing it today.
__________________
Tom
No "happy hours" makes for a lot of miserable days. - Mahler
Maybe I am being too hard on myself. I feel like I'm not done. Maybe I have body dysmorphia? No, I don't. I can see where I'm lean and see where I'm not. I choose not to display the ugly parts, but they are there. Relics of having once been much larger. I've got the stretch marks to prove it.
I know I can go on like I am and just get stronger, but I feel like I have no room to go "up" in weight. When I do, I feel it pretty quickly in the waistline.
I don't want to be an over analyzing, obsessive diet planner, either. I know what needs to happen if I want to lose more fat. The details are almost insignificant. I've done it. When I want it, I'll do it. Or if.
I'm not totally frustrated. Just made a plan and didn't stick to it as well as I'd like. Tomorrow is a new day.
Maybe you have an incomplete expression of BDD. I think most who have lost a significant amount of weight do have difficulty in this area. Whether you're seeing lean or not, you can't completely handle the numbers on the scale and the tape measure heading back that way...
Yeah, I think 465 qualifies as "heavy". Holy crap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerjoke
x2!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by stingo
Nice numbers there Roland - keep up the good work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahler
That's what it's all about, Roland. We try. We fall down sometimes. But, we get back up and try again.
465 for rack pulls somewhat qualifies as trying. LOL
Thank you, my peeps.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tkinsley
Maybe you have an incomplete expression of BDD. I think most who have lost a significant amount of weight do have difficulty in this area. Whether you're seeing lean or not, you can't completely handle the numbers on the scale and the tape measure heading back that way...
My foot aches sometimes, but I wear the insoles 100% of the time and they help a lot. Running (as much as I do, anyway) doesn't hurt. Sometimes I forget that I had the problem. Still stretching, though.
I might be reading this wrong but is this 50 consecutive chinups?? If so... holy sh*t. I know you throw up some amazing numbers / weights, but good lawd.
Today's workout was an "I feel like deadlifting" day. Then I felt all wonky trying them. I couldn't get a good groove, my hands hurt (not enough heavy lately), and my stance felt wrong. I'm a sumo deadlifter, and my old wide stance felt too wide, but I felt weak when I went narrower.
A, Deadlift, 135x10, 225x6, 275x3, 325x3, 365x2, 350x3 (this is wonky time)
I left feeling good. I just have to realize that I don't have a natural deadlift groove for heavy. When backed down, things were good. I'm not in a dl heavy period, so I'm good for now.
B (they all just sorta run together in a mish-mosh set)
Chins (11/9/7/7)
Pushups (25/18/17)
Kneeling Cable Crunch, 120/double pulley (12/12/12)
Bench Pistols (4/4/4) - lame and shaky. no va
All in all, a good workout for Roland. Time to eat. I'm making chicken fried rice. Roland likes his chicken spicy.
Brief update. I hope to workout later, so you might see me again.
I basically gave up the regular, low calorie thing a few weeks ago, changing to periods of starving myself, followed by either larger meals, post workout, or some serious EATING. Again, post workout. Ad hoc calorie cycling.
Essentially, I skip meals during the work week, when I'm busy and easily distracted by the immense stress and fact that I leave my meal in the car and don't bring any money for the vending machine into the office. I usually wait until 10 for breakfast, then have dinner at home. They are bigger meals than normal, but I'm guessing around 1000-1600 cals for the day is typical.
If I'm going to workout that night, I have breakfast at 10, then eat the next meal about two hours before workout (like 4pm or so), have a protein shake at the gym, then go home and binge. er, eat a decent l'il meal.
If I have plans at night, I just basically starve myself, then eat as "normal." I think that my regular strength workouts help to ensure that I put on some muscle when I "overeat."
My only other exercise is a once a week "run," plus regular walks. I walk about 2-3 miles per day, not counting any work walking. Deliberate walks. I only run to make sure that I can still run 5k. It's not pretty, and at some point I might try it on a day when I'm not starving.
So far, so good. The result is the same basic weight (188 today, down from a somewhat recent high on 195), but with the smallest belly circumference ever.
I am, once again, able to fit into my size 31 jeans, but the ass is too tight, which brings up the legs, making them floods. So, after the donation truck swings by on Monday, some lucky homeless guy is going to be wearing my sweet Lucky jeans, since I don't think my ass is likely to get small again.
I'm also back to the belt notches that I last used at 175lbs.
I'm happy. I'll see where this takes me.
Right now I'm feeling pretty motivated to keep this up. I like the ability to eat "normally" if I really want to, but the progress also motivates me to not eat "normally" too often. The "starve days" are easily doable, since there's always an end right around the corner.
I know fat loss progress would be faster if I knuckled down, but I do not have that in me right now. I have this in me.
I know fat loss progress would be faster if I knuckled down, but I do not have that in me right now. I have this in me.
You don't seem to be suffering and weak and starving (except on purpuse), so if it's working for ya' - great! Jeans fit - sounds like some interesting body recomp going on...
lol
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