Diary of a Small Planet II: The Omen

[gregl515]

Sorry I haven't been around. This is really starting to wear on me. I have at least four more weeks in this damn boot. I am walking better, but it's relatively better.

I have been looking for a job, but I am limited in my choices because I have to have health insurance. I can't get a job with a small law firm because I will screw up their health insurance. When I worked for a firm in Washington, DC our carrier cancelled our health insurance because we hired a lawyer with kidney disease. It took us month's to find a new carrier and then coverage was much more expensive.
I can't just start my own practice because my health insurance costs would outstrip my earnings in the beginning.

I have a lead on some state jobs, but they will require travel and possibly relocation. I have no problem with that in theory, but I have to get my leg in shape to travel and drive.

My father, brother and wife are constantly hounding me to seek social security disability. I have researched the law, consulted attorneys, spoken to social security officials and obtained bar material on representing clients in social security cases.

In the past, I clerked for social security attorneys and prepped cases to refer to social security attorneys. I've done my home work and I don't qualify. They don't believe me. It takes everything I can do not to scream at them. It seems like people think I lost 60 IQ points since I lost my leg. They seem to belive I have too much pride to apply. Believe me, I have lost everything. I have no pride anymore. It left when I had to have a tube up my penis in the hospital. It left the fifteenth time I fell. It leaves every morning when I have to "race" to the bathroom after the 10 minutes to 30 minutes it takes to get the boot and my leg on in the morning. It's gone.

I don't qualify for social security disability. I have no more pride. F--k anyone who asks me.

Anyway, I have been continuing the workout.

Today: One armed Overhead KB press: 25 lb kb x 3 x 10.
One armed kb floor press: 35 lb kb x 3 x 8
Kb curls: 3 x 10 x 20 lb kb.
One armed seated tricep extension: 25 lb kb x 3 x 8.
One armed bent over row: 35 lb kb x 10 x 3.

[gregl515]

The good thing is that I have really settled into my diet.

[kfisherx]

Hey Greg... Nice to see you at it again. (Or perhaps you have been posting but it got lost in all the new logs) I am inspired everytime I see this log.

RE Health insurance. In Oregon we have a state insurance that low income folks can apply for that is really cool. That would be something you could leverage while you begin a new business. Perhaps your state has something similiar?

[gregl515]

Unfortunately for me they do not.

[gregl515]

I am feeling better with a night's sleep. I guess I shouldn't log angry. Anyway, I went to my foot doctor today. My leg is getting really thin but still have the goose egg at my ankle and a little swelling on my foot where it connects to the ankle.

[stingo]

Originally Posted by gregl515

I am feeling better with a night's sleep. I guess I shouldn't log angry. Anyway, I went to my foot doctor today. My leg is getting really thin but still have the goose egg at my ankle and a little swelling on my foot where it connects to the ankle.

Writing is good catharsis I think - better to write your frustrations out than to exorcise them in other ways.

[gregl515]

Today: What a great day! Yeah right!

Workout: One armed Floor Press: 3 x 8 x 35 lb kb
Crunches: 3 x 15
One Armed Overhead Press: 3 x 8 x 25 lb kb (Banged myself in the head with a kb had to stop for a while.)
One Armed Bent Over Row: 3 x 10 x 35 lb kb
KB Curls: 20 lb kb 3 x 10
Seated Tricep Extension: 3 x 8 x 25 lb kb (Banged my head again, not as bad)
Reverse Crunches: 3x 10.

I went to PT today. My Dr. wrapped my foot on Monday and screwed it up to the extent that my foot abraded and reswelled. Not as bad as before, but I probably lost a week of improvement. I'm loving my Dr. right now. If I don't kill myself with the kettlebells I may have to look for another method.

[gregl515]

How did I lose my Human Pogo designation?

[K-Court]

I dunno but you should be able to change it back yourself.

Haven't checked in in a while, Greg. It's great to see that you're keeping up with the workouts even while going through all the rest of the sh*t you have to deal with. That's really admirable, man. Good on ya! And don't worry about venting when you're frustrated - that's what this place is for. As your friends, we're here to listen and support. Lean on us when you need to! (And that wasn't a one-legged joke ... )

[gregl515]

Watch out or I'll file a human rights complaint on your butt!

[UConnJulie]

Hey Buddy ... sorry that things are rough right now ... vent away ... what are friends for, right? Hope that you find a job you can deal with ... it will go a long way toward making you feel useful again. You've been through a lot with the leg and the marriage ... so cut yourself some slack, 'k?

HUGS!

[mel]

You absolutely should log angry....that's what writing was invented for, right!? At least one of reasons anyway! I have to say, your pain and frustration are palpable, and I for one am glad you write about it honestly, because it gives me an insight I never would have had otherwise. Your issues are issues I have never thought about, and I know that by sharing your life, you are making me a more aware, more empathetic person. Thank you for that.

mel

[gregl515]

I don't have a workout today, but I've been doing reverse crunches and crunches in sets of ten whenever I think about it. I've been looking longingly at the treadmill, but I know that would set me back. I have to wait this out.

A funny thing has happened. I get daily calls from old female clients. I was the firm's shoulder. I would get clients who needed more handling than the other lawyers wanted to put up with. Consequently, I got a lot of female clients who wanted to vent alot. I was pretty blunt with them, but I was willing to listen. When I got sick, they hunted me down to my hospital room and sent flowers and called and occasionally visited, which pissed off my wife. She basically asked me if I was fucking them. I told her that I was doing something better, listening to them. She struggled to believe me. She forgot that what she fell in love with was what she called my patience with her and the kids. Basically, my listneing skills.
Anyway, I still get calls almost daily. They can't believe I don't want to practice the same type of law and have refered me clients for simple wills and no fault divorces which keeps me in walking around money. They still want me to listen to their problems. I don't really mind because it takes my mind off what is going on with me. They are like cheerleaders for me though. It helps to brighten my day. None of them are clients of my old law firm. No shoulder.

[Willie]

Greg, thanks for visiting my log! I am so sorry to hear (read) of your troubles both healthwise and jobwise. Sucks, huh? I agree with Stingo, though, that writing about these things IS good catharsis. I haven't been around very long, but seems that the people here are pretty supportive.

Good luck with everything.
Kate

[RobLL]

Greg - is the world whispering a possible direction for you? And could you bill out enough to meet desired income? Anyway you are obviously seen as a good guy by a number of people.

[Egham]

I've missed being around for the past few months and it's great to see you still plugging away with your workouts.

I'm going to echo what you've read above - Don't ever feel you are dumping on your friends here when you need to vent here.

You give here - BIG time.


Perhaps there's something in Rob's suggestion?

[ToniL]

Hey Mr. Obvious thanx for the compliment. Ms. Obvious says you are a tuff cookie and you have determination. I believe that we are never given more than we can deal with in life. Those of us with broad shoulders sometimes have to bear more burdens however we end up stronger and wiser. I love that you are able to touch other's lives and make them more bearable.

Toni