Please anyone respond!!!! i need a REAL help

[GirL22]

I have two questions actually:

1. How do I know if I have a long or short torso? i.e: is there standard measurments or kind of ratio or anything else for that? (I am 5.0" & 22 years old female)

2. Is there "ANY WAY" to lengthen the torso by 2 or 3 inchs?

Any help will be so appretiated!
Thank you very much...

just_a_girl_2@lycos.com

[mitsuman47]

As far as I know there isn't a ratio or measurement that determines whether your torso is long or short. Who knows, there may be one though.

And I hope I don't disappoint you when I say that, I doubt you can lengthen your torso. I don't think your spine (or most any other part of you for that matter) would appreciate that very much.

Sorry if I'm the bearer of bad news, or not any help at all. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[FishrCutB8]

I have to ask the question:

"Why?"

[Q.]

maybe THE RACK!


By the way, I went to GOOGLE to see if I could find an image of the middle ages (?) torture device called "the rack" so I could include it here. I entered "rack torture" in the box. MAN, was that a SURPRISE! Not what I expected!

[Jean-Paul]

Okay Q, I just haaaad to take the bait. Jee-zoo there are some real freaks out there! I don't think that I found one single site that referred to their use in history, rather all of them were pictures from people's private dungeons(like the one pictured below!). EGAD!

[Q.]

I didn't get that far! I was at work and didn't want someone walking in unexpectedly! I would be hard to explain. [img]redface.gif[/img]

Gee, think that will lengthen a torso???

Q

[gardener]

Yes, guys, but don't you think the red upholstery clashes badly with the purplish red of the oriental carpet the "thing" sits on?

But suddenly another picture, albeit a mental one, flashes before me. I imagine the gym I frequent, with its various machines labeled "Nautilus," "Cybex," "Scorpion," and so on; with its weights and pulleys and rubber straps; its balance balls and Swiss balls; its machines for lat pull-downs. I imagine a curious passerby, who notes that beginning at 6 a.m. and right on up to 10 p. m. there is a steady procession into the doors of this place of people, mostly males, and of all ages from 16 to 84. His curiosity finally reaches a crescendo, so he ventures inside and sees various activities, such as one guy spotting someone else's chest press. Our curious visitor lacks any true knowledge of what goes on in this place, what the various machines and devices are intended to do, and the motives of those who go there. He can only form hypotheses. One might be...that this place is a dungeon where people torture themselves and are tortured by others in acts of expiation?

[Jean-Paul]

HA! Count on Gardener to point out the obvious hypocricy of our comments. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Yes, I do work in a dungeon, and I am damn proud of it. More importantly, my equipment doesn't clash with the carpet and paint. I guess that since I enjoy torturing myself as a part of a daily ritual makes me a masochist. Oh wait, I also do this to others for a living, so I guess that would make me a sadist! I am just CONFUSED!

[gardener]

But who on earth has ever heard of a dungeon in a skyscraper overlooking LR? And of course our curious stranger and his hypothesis about torture is dead wrong.

There's a payoff to the things we do in these places. (Duh!)

Item. I had a medical checkup last week. All numbers were great, starting with BP of 119/65. My doctor told me that I am "a poster child for lifestyle changes." (I once smoked, lived fat, ate ugly, and regarded serious exercise as the pursuit of fools.)

Item. With summer finally here, it's kayak time here in southern NJ with its marvelous lakes and little rivers. Working out all winter has improved my paddling ability (endurance, technique) dramatically. And kayaking is the best whole-body exercise in the world. (Non-kayakers may not realize how much torso is involved, nor that many of these things have foot pedals.}

[gardener]

oops! "ARE dead wrong"!

[Q.]

Originally posted by Jean-Paul:
I guess that since I enjoy torturing myself as a part of a daily ritual makes me a masochist.

Yeah, I was also thinking about how my life is ruined temporarily if I don't make it to the gym to beat up my body on a scheduled day and what that says about me, in light of gardener's comments.

Oh, by the way, my apologies to the original poster for hijacking her thread!

Q

[Bill Hartman]

Okay, I've been staring at this post for some time and now I just can't resist:

Dear Girl22,

You have a short torso. In fact, at only 5 feet tall and with the national avergage female height being 5'5", you pretty much have a short everything.

Here is my suggestion. Always measure your height upon waking in the morning. At night, your spinal discs absorb water which makes them fuller and you taller by about 3/4".

Second, cut your hair. This will increase the distance from the end of your hair to the end of your obviously short torso thus creating the appearance of a longer torso.

Third, hang out with "little people". I would suggest starting with the Little Peoples National convention in Las Vegas. You will tower over everyone, and no one will notice your short torso.

Four, wear very short skirts. Now this won't necessarily make your torso look longer, but we guys like short skirts and if you have nice legs, we won't care how freakishly short your torso actually is.

Five, while my cohorts mean well with the rack suggestion, we all know from experience that the tension applied is distributed through the arms and legs not the spine, so in all likelyhood it will not lengthen your torso (er, uh, did I say that).

Six, see an orthopedic surgeon and have your legs shortened. By altering your proportions you could lengthen your torso.

I hope that helps.

Bill Hartman er, uh, I mean Jean-Paul Franceour

[mitsuman47]

AHHH! Bill, that's the funniest thing I've seen since the picture that Fishr posted on MH of JP in his Santa Suit.

[buster]

I seem to recall an episode of Andy Griffith where Barney hung himself in a closet( scaring the bejesus out of opie)to make himself taller but I doubt this would work for you.

In all honesty, I'm sure that you are beautiful just the way God made you so I wouldn't sweat it if I were you.

[Jean-Paul]

Good answer Buster!

[FishrCutB8]

Originally posted by buster:
I seem to recall an episode of Andy Griffith where Barney hung himself in a closet( scaring the bejesus out of opie)to make himself taller but I doubt this would work for you.

In all honesty, I'm sure that you are beautiful just the way God made you so I wouldn't sweat it if I were you.

Just think you might look better in a Santa suit, though....

[buster]

Huh?????

[FishrCutB8]