Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator # 209 – Big Honkin’ Trucks

[Mahler]

Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator # 209 – Big Honkin’ Trucks

Big Honkin’ Trucks (04-07-08)

I live in a somewhat rural area in South Central Pennsylvania. While my development is rather large, it is surrounded by plenty of farmland and green areas. Other than the interstate that runs through about five miles west of us, most of the roads are two-lane, country roads, so rural in fact, that there is not one traffic signal in the entire township. Wooo hooo!

Yeah. Sure. No traffic lights may be a reason for celebration, but the lack of them is more than made up for by Big Honkin’ Trucks. It seems that every time I get out on the road, I get behind one of these bad boys, usually going about 5 to 10 miles under the speed limit. It’s so frustrating and so very wrong.

Here’s the deal. You see these guys all the time in my area. The truck is huge beyond all physical need or convention. The mother is then jacked up to make it sit higher off the ground, giving its owner the only exercise he will ever get just by climbing in. Under the hood is an engine that puts out enough horsepower to light the entire township in case of an emergency. Touching the pavement are oversized tires on mag wheels that cost more than the total of my retirement fund. The body is a veritable symphony of the latest metallic color, clever decals and more chrome than a pair of dark sunglasses can block out, even on a cloudy day. So what’s the deal?

I see some of the owners in my own neighborhood. Every weekend these behemoths are washed, waxed and polished to a high gloss and glitter that would have Tiffany’s green with envy. The bed liner is coal black and, frankly, has never been touched, if at all, by anything heavier than a beer cooler. The tires are dressed to look as though they were just mounted, yesterday, a deep glistening ebony. And then comes the kicker. You see one of these guys in the little shopping center near our development. It has a couple of speed bumps to enforce the 15-mile per hour limit. And these guys come to a complete stop, edge forward and creep over the bump. You get behind one, out on the road and it’s like they are being driven by escapees from the old folks home. They have a vehicle that is made to climb mountains, ford streams and kick mother nature’s behind, and they treat it like it was made of glass and they go . . . nowhere.

People can be like that, too. They can be very much like those Big Honkin’ Trucks, all show and no go. You see them everywhere. The ones that have all the latest gear, the trendy workout clothes, the expensive shoes, all the extras and yet, never set foot in a gym or exert themselves as though sweat were a sure sign of melting. You see them in the gym, too, however. The ones that are there to be seen and spend more time socializing, than actually lifting a weight. It is often said that perception is reality. By that logic, these folks should appear to be fit and healthy and occasionally do. But the body knows the difference. The body knows that they are just Big Honkin’ Trucks.

Most of us who are reasonably healthy and hit the pavement, the pool or the gym can be like Big Honkin’ Trucks, too, but with a big difference. I got up this morning and pulled an aggregate of six tons doing deadlifts. I felt like a Big Honkin’ Truck. What are you doing to get out there on the road. It’s just a matter of deciding to throw a little weight in the cargo area, putting all that horsepower to work and hitting the gas pedal once in a while and not being afraid to scratch the paint from time to time. Now move it!

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Have a Great Week!

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[RacerBill]

I think the folks around here definitely put that horsepower to work! Good analogy, John. Thanks.

[GG300]

Thanks John

[rachael24]

Great post...Thanks alot john!

[Phaedrus49er]

Sounds like my hometown (the trucks). Here in Charlotte, it's SUVs but the same speed-bump-ophobia. Hilarious. For the record, I got an appropriately-sized and -equipped Ford Ranger

[justinbass]

Originally Posted by Mahler

I got up this morning and pulled an aggregate of six tons doing deadlifts. I felt like a Big Honkin’ Truck.

Good for you!

That's a number to be proud of.

[sharkattack]

It's called teeny-weeny syndrome. The size of those trucks is probably indirectly proportional to the size of their johnsons. The bigger the truck, tires, etc. the smaller the guy's ween.

Those are also the guys who drive around with a pair of plastic testicles hanging from the rear bumper to show that their truck has balls, and they are a real man. What cracks me up is that here you have supposedly manly men driving around with balls on their trucks, and they are most likely some of the biggest homophobes on the planet.

I just don't get it...

[Mahler]

6/126 Another stinker, I fear. I really thought this one would strike a chord with a few more people. My apologies. I would delete some of these poor efforts, but good or bad, they are part of the set. As with past duds, I will lock to avoid sympathy posts.

[Jean-Paul]

Another gem. Hits pretty close to home for me here in Arkansas.

Another observation jumps out at me... The people who drive these cars put so much money, time and effort into taking care of their vehicles, and yet they are out of shape themselves. Imagine if they treated themselves the way they treat their trucks! They'd only put premium fuel in their bodies for example.

I agree that it's silly to own a car that is designed to fjord rivers (proper spelling, BTW ) and climb mountains and drive like a member of the "Anti-Destination League." Yes, they exist. You probably see them every day on the highways. If you are oblivious and you don't notice them, then you're probably a member!

I used to have a jeep that was all jacked up, and let me tell you I put that thing to the test! There were a couple of times I truly thought I was going to tip over because the trails were so steep.

Great motivator, John! As usual.