Considering Withdrawing from the Challenge

[K-Court]

Glad to hear things are looking a bit brighter today for you, Ray. Try to make a little improvement each day. Over time, you'll get where you want to be. But make sure you keep moving forward each day. We're here for you, rooting all the way!

[rem1956]

Thanks! Some days I need all the help I can get!

[fayman]

Ray,

One more thing. When anxiety gets to me, often times I need to put things into perspective. As bad as I think I have it, I look around when I drive through some of the poorer neighborhoods here in Rochester. I see how these people live, how they struggle. At least I'm not worrying about being attacked, or shot at, or anything as dangerous as that where I live. At least we're not living like someone in a 3rd world country, just trying to survive, let alone have a comfortable life. I know it sounds cliche, but it is true.

And, back when I dealt with serious anxiety (which I've been able to nearly completely overcome), something as simple as thinking about the bigger picture, this place, this planet where we live. There is so much more about you as a person than the fact that you have a couple of pounds to lose, or that you have a mountain of credit card debt (I have both, too). Essentially, they are good problems to have. It means you have something to work towards, something to live for, something to fight for.

I've been bummed lately, too. About my debt, about my health. So I'm going to do something about it. I'm trying today to improve things around me. This past weekend I slapped a new coat of paint on a few rooms in my house, and today I'll be slapping a new coat of paint on me as I grind through my workout.

There are good things coming, man....it's all in how you view it!

[stingo]

Lots of great words and ideas here already so I doubt my 2 cents is going to be original. I'll just suggest you consider a "What If?" situation... as in, "What if your son was in the situation you're in now, what would you do/what would you tell him to do?"

That said, my other thought is that you try to avoid the all-or-nothing approach that we all tend to saddle ourselves with. It leads to a lot of negativity as we tend to focus on the things left undone rather than the good things we have done. "Not all who wander are lost..."

Lastly, I'll echo the suggestion that professional help should be sought. Internet forums are one thing, but face to face dialogue with a trained professional will prove far more effective.

[raymond3]

Im late and dont have alot of time to write (and not sure if anyone else said it)...but I would seriously consider leaving your wife (with your son) if she isnt doing much to help your (or your sons) situation...or at least threaten to leave her. It almost sounds like a care-giving relationship, and it will make it 10 times harder for you to be happy/successful if you are pulling your weight, and the weight of someone who isnt adding to the relationship...Ive been there, so Im speaking from experience.

At any rate, you are in my prayers and I hope everything works out for you.

[rem1956]

Leaving my wife is not the answer. Running from a problem is not the solution. And, my wife is not the sole source of all my problems; she is only a part of it. Taking away one part of the problem still leaves the rest of the problem to deal with.

I depend alot on my wife for many things I didn't mention. True, she doesn't take care of herself and frequently is unhappy with my attempts to take care of myself, but that is only the bad part. I didn't complain about the good parts (LOL).

I am going to talk to a professional, I am going to continue working out. And I am going to start saying NO! more often to others who are expecting/demanding my time and attention. Limiting my outside activities, what I am willing to do around the house, changing my way of thinking (Thanks Fayman), etc.

Tom....darn you....you got me thinking...