Alright guys, she has decided to lose weight, and sadly to say she has pretty much let herself go and had come whining to me to help her lose weight. she has decided 25-30 lbs so I have already been running with her pretty much in intervals..1 mile 1 day 2 miles the next day. I just need help on hwat I should have her doing, all in high school she was around 125-130lbs and was a cheerleader now 2 years later shes 167lbs and a nurse..funny how that worked out! anyway help is greatly appreciated.
She definitely should develop a varied routine of HIIT cardio and weight training or listen to the people here on it. A good general template would be 3x/wk weights, 2-3x/wk HIIT and rest the remainder.
I see you said fiancee - is there a deadline on this weight loss - like "must lose 25-30 by wedding day already fixed at some future date" ? Or is this "I want to lose weight at a sustainable and sensible rate"
First off you want to get her nutrition in line, as a nurse moving around all day if she's eating right she'll probably drop some right there.
Second and just as if not more important weight loss is a touchy subject as a couple so be carefull and maybe even help her pay for a GOOD personal trainer so that she sees him/her as the bad guy and not you.
Yes especially a touchy subject if you see her as coming to you whining about it....
If you do not want to go abou getting a personal trainer. I would suggest New Rules of Lifting, Intervals(HIIT), and a good nutrition plan composed of good protein sources, good fats, and whole foods.
I am not sure if you are already running true intervals by your description. If you are just doing steady state running and enjoy it, good for you keep it up. If you are doing steady state strictly to lose fat, there are better ways. HIIT being the prime one.
In the end weight itself is easy to monitor, but really shouldn't be the tell all of a sucessful program. Measurements, body fat or just plain how are my clothes fitting and how do I look are better indicators.
I am sure she would rather be in shape at a good weight then, out of shape, skinny and "untoned" at a lighter weight.
Og.
__________________ 2009: No races, No times. Slow year. So, now you're 96 cals short. You're now in starvation mode. Doomed. - LostDog
Blog entry: November 1, 2009, Pancakes LiveSTRONG daily plate log
Have you considered the Challenge? (Its over in the Livin Large subforum) I would want Her to sign up and participate, but I think we can help her. Or I would be happy to talk with her via email or telephone. I think we can figure something out. I have/am working with tons of nurses. It's not all that surprising really.
What the others have said is correct. What we need to do is get you a plan and get on the right track.
Newman
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Ogedei touched on it..."If you do not want to go abou getting a personal trainer..."
ME...I'm all about getting someone else involved when it's your sig other. Running together is fine..but..in my opinion..point her to a support group. Is there a gym in the area that has classes or has in house trainers.
Personally, I don't want to be the one training my sig other. I don't think most relationships can stand up to that very well. Support and direct her but I wouldn't be her main director of "let's lose the fat".
First off you want to get her nutrition in line, as a nurse moving around all day if she's eating right she'll probably drop some right there.
Second and just as if not more important weight loss is a touchy subject as a couple so be carefull and maybe even help her pay for a GOOD personal trainer so that she sees him/her as the bad guy and not you.
I should have read Umass post. He already nailed it.
Do YOU have weight to lose? My husband & I lost weight together so it worked out better. We discussed what we were going to eat and when to workout, etc. It wasn't one of us telling the other one what to do. Even so, there were days when I didn't want him looking over my shoulder and vice versa.
My best advice would be to pick one of these tactics:
1) do it together; make choices, tweaks, plans together and implement them together
2) set her up with a trainer, online support group or some other source that she is accountable to -- not to you. Don't bug her about compliance; even if she asks. There may be times where you have to say something, but make sure you really have to say something (like she's headfirst in a vat of marshmallow fluff; not because you think she's eating 1 egg too many)
We women are interesting creatures. You can't expect to totally understand us because, heck, we can't understand ourselves some days. Good luck!
Me and my girlfriend work out together. I dont see any issues at all with that, unless someone is going to get offended by "Try harder!". Infact I think it can be pretty motivating for both.. But for fat loss..
First make sure diet is 100% in line. 100% in line = 100% results. Any 'diet' will probally work as long as its followed.
Secondly, hard weight training workouts. NROL is excellent, I'm not personally sold that someone needs a fat loss specific program, but they could help.
Then if your she still isn't loosing some weight (maybe 1-1.5lbs per week sounds good) then start up with the HIIT. Lots of people do HIIT that dont need to because the first two things are not inline in the first place.
The hardest part about doing it with someone you are with, is diet, by far. I eat 3x as much as my girl and I loose more weight. When shes eating a chicken breast and having a salad and i'm having steak, potatoes and pasta, it gets on her nerves..
As for me I've been lifting along time and to be honest I've taken about 3 months off. I'm getting ready to start back but yeah i could afford to lose some weight. As far as Hiit yeah that pretty much it. We go to a local track and runs the starights walk the turns. shes leading right now so I can get her use to it and don't over work her and have her quit. When I would lift she would be right there with me watching. she has lifted before but for some reason doesn't try as hard at lifting as she does when running. she wont talk to anyone about her weight other than me it's touchy point for her and has really been taking a toll on her self esteem. I'm getting ready to start back on the lean meeats along with the protein shake...should i have her do this also? her scheduale is good right now..shes at a doctors office not doing much when she comes home she studys though.. basically shes just lacking motivation and not knowing what to do..I have some knowledge but most of mine is for building not really losing.. thanks alot for you help i'll look into some of the stuff you recomended and try and get her going on something. As for length of time shes would like to be a lil slimmer by 7/7/07 but i have explained to her that it must be considered as a long time goal.. thanks
Oegdei made a really good point - How is the woman you care about supposed feel supported and good about her decision if you see her asking for help as whining?
Mom2W is right in that if you are going workout together you need to plan it together and make sure it's HER setting her goals and not you. It took me forever to get Bob to understand that how he would do things is not how I would do things based on the research I've done.
I also think someone else being her trainer might not be a bad idea. I can't believe that she doesn't talk about her weight to other women.
__________________ It all starts with the mind, but the thoughts, the intention aren't enough. Action needs to come next. Dream it, believe it, plan it, execute it, celebrate it. - Wendy
Does your fiancee WANT you to plan all this for you or is she looking for you to point her in the right direction toward something that will help (like a book, a website)? I can't imagine taking nutrition advice from my fiance but then I'm not in your shoes.
A year ago when my fiance proposed to me I made the decision to get serious about losing weight because I wanted to be in shape for our wedding (in 8 days now!) and honeymoon. My first step was a personal trainer. I wanted her to be able to show me enough things in the gym so that I could be comfortable in the free weights room by myself. After that I read Body for Life and followed it for quite a while and even handed it off to my fiance and he followed it for a while as well. The BfL lifting program is easily laid out and sensible enough for a beginner to understand. The nutrition plan is also easy for a beginner to understand. I recently moved on to Precision Nutrition but I'm not sure I would want to start there as a beginner.
There are a lot of online resources your fiancee could use as well. Is she planning to count calories? I've been using Calorie King for over a year; fitday is another option.
Although my fiance and I GO to the gym together, we don't work out together. We have different goals and we move in the gym at different speeds. It just makes more sense for us to focus on our own individual plans that help each of us reach the goals we want. Support your fiancee as much as she needs but encourage her to learn and grow on her own. It really is a great way for a woman to build her self-confidence.
Try sending her to read some of Mistress Krista's stuff.
You're potentially offering her negative feedback with this... as expressed to us as talking about her "whining" and how it's "funny how that worked out." So I'd look into that and probably stop it. Noone likes a negative nancy around them when they're trying to improve themselves... if you can't offer her help, help her get it from somewhere else... here, a trainer, whatever. Don't act like she's a burden cramping your style if you want her to actually be able to go forward on this without resentment toward you.
Eat lean meats/proteins, veggies, good fats.
Lift weights
Throw in some cardio if she likes it (seems she does) but try some interval or HIIT training as wel, it's more effective for fatloss, although if she wants to increase her aerobic endurance that's not something to shut down.
Eat less than maintanence... figure out maintance using the Harris Benedict formula and modify/tweek as necessary.
There's many reasons she may not "try hard at lifting" because she's worried about getting injured, or bulking up, or many other things. A) send her to above site... B) talk with her about it.
If she just doesn't like it, then it may help to find exercises she likes, or find a workout with a short workout time so that she can just get it over with.
If she's worried about bulking up, that won't happen, especially if she's eating to lose weight.
If she's worried about injury, a good trainer to show her how it's done and evaluate her form is gonna help a lot.
She has gained close to a pound a month for 2 years, its going to be more then a routine and diet, its going to need to be a 100% lifestyle change, if she wants it bad enough, shell get it. If shes 'not trying hard' that should #1 issue, no doubt. She wont get anywhere without serious effort on her part. You could lay the whole thing out, perfectly, still its up to her.
Im not so sure its bad saying shes 'whining',
Heck, she probally is.. Most overweight people seem to.
Is she overweight or is she weighing more than she's comfortable with? There's a big difference. If her health is in danger due to excess poundage, that's different than wishing she could wear a smaller bikini.
Does she think she's whining or is it just you? DH thinks I whine sometimes when I'm just deloading stress.
What is she willing to do right now? Ask her. I knew when I weighed too much that I wanted to be smaller but it took someone else dying for me to buckle down and make the effort. It won't be easy. The first weeks may test your relationship. You need to be strong too and not give in to your frustration. Be her rock.
I don't know your age, financial situation, etc. so you'll have to cater this advice to your means. When is the wedding? Where is the honeymoon? What would she like to wear this summer, next winter, next summer, for some future event? Help her set some goals based on who she sees herself becoming at that weight. Plan out some incentives for achieving benchmarks along the way (new clothes, a trip, etc).
She can do it. Just the fact thatyou're asking strangers for advice and seem willing to implement it says a lot for the way you feel about her. Oh, and if she says "does this make me look fat?" For heaven's sake, don't answer!!! Tell her she's beautiful and you love her.
ok I've been with her for 3 years and we have lived together since day 1..when I say "whining" I don't mean it as it sounds thats just who I am she understand when I say she's whining or what not she'll laugh about. She is the one that said "i'm fat and would love to be the size i used to be" then proceeds to say "I'm not buying any more clothes until I lose like 15lbs". My love is unconditional but when her weight makes her feel bad then it takes all I got to stay the person I am and make her smile. she is in noway in danger due to being overweight. she just understands if she wants to looks the way she wants she has to work for it! I'm on her asking you guys about this because back when I first really got into bodybuilding this is the site that made me blow up like a balloon . I started out weighing 145lbs at 5'8'' and in a year i was at 178lbs with a visible sixpack. So now I'm back again not for me but for her as I'm not a woman and have no idea what her body is saying to her when she is working it out. so every bit of advice I can get is greatly appreciated. We both are 21 and have pretty decent jobs. but the problem is there are no good PT in the area, as I have looked and tried for myself. it all end with me saying i do better than what this guy is giving me. and by my own i have acheved results that are beyond my expectations. I would just like to try and give her something that she will not regret working for. especially when this time comes around next year.
Complexes are great for fat loss (albeit I hate TBT, but I give credit where its due). With a bulk, I got up to a 35" waist and lost three inches in around a month using a routine I made built with complexes, burpees, sled runs, and pull-ups, as well as restricting my calories.
Get her lifting some heavy weight, sprinting, a little steady state cardio, eating right, and pushing her limits-then expect some positive changes.
Need help, helping fiance lose weight.
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