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Old 03-05-2007, 06:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Mahler
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Default Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator # 155 – Mean It Up

Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator # 155 – Mean It Up

Mean It Up

As the regular readers will know, sometimes I get my best ideas in the oddest of places. I do a lot of thinking while driving; while in the shower; while mowing the lawn and in a host of other odd places and situations. This past weekend was no exception to that often strange and confusing thought process that is Mahler’s mind. For this time I got my ideas and my thinking juices flowing while in church.

Now, for those of you who are not into going to church or religion in general, please don’t stop reading. I am not going to try to convert you, save your soul or pass the collection plate. What I do want you to do is to look over my shoulder as I attend my services. Going to church, for me, is like my workouts. I never miss and I always try to put something into it and never to go light on the intensity. I stand, kneel and sit up straight; I listen; I respond to the prayers; and, yes, I sing. And, what is more important, I always try to get something out of it.

If you are standing there with me, invisible though it were, there would be a time in the services where the priest (yes, I am Catholic, don’t panic) offers a message of peace and invites all to offer each other a sign of peace, as well. At this point we turn to our neighbor, right and left, front and back and extend a handshake and a simple greeting, usually “peace be with you.”

Well, this is where today’s idea was ignited. I turned to my wife, gave her a kiss and a greeting, shook hands with the folks in front of me, then turned around to the person behind me. I made eye contact with a young man of high school age, with a letter jacket, looking healthy and fit. I extended my hand and received the most surprising and absolute limpest handshake I had experienced in a long time. My grandmother, if she were alive, could have gripped my hand better. Come to think of it, my grandmother, in her present condition, could probably grip my hand better.

I looked at this strapping young man and said clearly and confidently, “peace be with you” to which he mumbled something like “pee bwit ya.” What I wanted to do at that point, but didn’t, was to grip his hand as firmly as possible and tell him to man it up and give me a real handshake. That’s not something you do in church, so I released his hand and turned around to the continuing services. In my mind, however, I kept thinking about that handshake and came to the conclusion that I didn’t want the kid to “man it up.” What I wanted him to do was put some feeling, some substance into what he was doing to show that he knew the meaning of his actions. In short, I wanted him to “mean it up.”

How often, I thought, do I make my way through life by just marking time and going through the motions without ever really understanding the meaning, the substance of what I say or do? How many times have I been the equivalent of that mumbled phrase or that limp handshake and failed to “mean it up?”

Anything that is truly worth our efforts, is worth doing with commitment, with an understanding of why we are doing it, and with meaning. In our physical, mental and spiritual lives, we must somehow find a sense that what we are about is making a difference and is, in effect, meaningful. With everything that we do, no matter how trivial or how challenging, our goal should be always to firmly grasp the situation; to clearly address the task and to “mean it up.”

Life does not give meaning to our existence. The way we live it does.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Have a Great Week!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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AMEN, Thanks John.
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
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awesome stuff
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I thought I was the only Catholic who actually sings the hymns. We should form a support group!

Well done. The last sentence is about as profound a truth as can be found anywhere. Thanks, John.
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Recently I met a rather well-off businessman. Wife, three kids, bank account likely in the millions. His handshake was a nice, warm, limp towel. I felt similarly to how you did with the kid. I thought to myself, "Yes, I know I'm not important like your business clients, but I just lost a lot of respect for you... and here you are asking my help on the bench press."

I agree, John. My cousin is a prime example of always "being there". Always a firm shake, a look in the eyes, a present and active mind. I should emulate him more than I do. His presence is felt and his life is full. I have too many 'stray' moments.
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I hate it when you get that limp dick handshake. If I wanted that I would go pee. I agree with all of it except for work
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Old 03-05-2007, 08:25 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Amazing article AGAIN.. Can read your articles daily....I too am Catholic and to think about it, maybe I need to man it up more..ahah I can see it now, little ol Granny in front, "PEACE BE WITH YOU" CRUSHING HANDSHAKE.hahahaa.
No, seriously, good article.
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Old 03-05-2007, 08:48 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I am amazed at how many people look away and just mumble something when you look into their eyes and ask how they are doing. I think that the isolation of modern day life causes people not to know how to deal with something as simple as an honest greeting.
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Old 03-05-2007, 10:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
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.
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Good one, John.
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:48 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I still remember in 8th grade when I went to football camp at the Air Force Academy, at the end Coach Fischer DeBerry shook everyone's hand. I still remember him crushing my hand with force I've never felt before. I thought he was trying to hurt me for some reason. Then afterward I thought about it and made sense, a strong man should have a strong handshake, a handshake is a really the true first impression someone gets of you (besides the way you look). Since then, I shake people's hands like I'm trying to close the #3 COC gripper (maybe not THAT hard, but you get the point).

Good stuff, Mahler.
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Old 03-05-2007, 01:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
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nice
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Years ago I worked for a man who, at the end of each work day, would shake each of our hands and thank us for coming in to work that day. It's amazing how such a simple gesture really made a difference to me.

Thanks, Mahler, for reminding me of that!
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Old 03-05-2007, 07:57 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Once again, a great post Mahler! That high school letterman is giving me a bad rep! I always try and greet somebody with a firm handshake and look them square in the eye with a smile. Just something I was taught growing up that shows my maturity, especially when the person receiving the greeting rarely gets that kind of hello from a teenager.
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Old 03-05-2007, 08:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Excellent!
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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agreed, a strong handshake is important. i loathe recieving a limp handshake, i pretty much lose all respect for that man. i was brought up to give a strong handshake that would be remembered - i'm always complimented on my handshake and eye contact, i pride myself on it.
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Old 03-08-2007, 06:02 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I agree with you here definately. I hate those little lame handshakes and do lose respect for someone who gives one. I don't know why, the way someone shakes your hand shouldn't mean anything, but it does. It just does!
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:23 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jj
I agree with you here definately. I hate those little lame handshakes and do lose respect for someone who gives one. I don't know why, the way someone shakes your hand shouldn't mean anything, but it does. It just does!
It shows you how important first impressions are.

*makes mental note for purposes of dinner conversation with children tonight ...*

Thanks, John. Your last sentence is brilliant.
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