The Beach Pump

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 03:01 PM

Have you ever wanted to go to the beach, take a swim, and when you've finished, walk in slow-mo out of the water with all the females staring at your amazing physique? Well, this is how you can accomplish that, even with little to no muscle!

I call it the Beach Pump, and it is easy and quick and will leave you with an incredible pump for the next half-hour.. (Tested, and proven). The girls WILL notice (Again tested and proven ;-))

So here it is, after you get into the water about neck deep, do the following in the order presented.

*On all exercises cuff hands to add maximum resistance*

The Birdy:
Description: Put your arms down at your side, then raise them as fast as possible, then push them back to your sides as fast as possible. (Like a birdy)
Reps: 10
Sets: 3
Muscle Groups Targetted: Lats & Lateral shoulder muscle.. (Screw proper termonolgy)

Curl:
Description: Arms at side, do a curl with cuffed hands raised towards sky (As fast as possible), then turn your hands so the are cuffed towards the ground and push down as fast as possible.
Reps: 10
Sets: 3
Muscle groups targeted: Tris and bi's

Water Flys: (My favorite one)
Description: Same as a cable fly except, you can easily switch from decline, flat and incline flys (Acctually, there is about 4-6 different angles you can hit your chest at), when performing this exercise when you bring your arms back, do so as quickly as possibly to target back muscles..
Muscles Targetted: Chest & Back

Now, this will take about 5 minutes, and if you get about 20 feet away from the nearest person, you just look like your floatin' in the water..

As soon as you finish, walk out slowly and confidently..

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 03:02 PM

I live on a beach, and had nothing better to do.. so i mean this is pretty useless but still.. im sure some goober will try it..

Iamjennmedic · 08-10-2006, 03:04 PM

Cuffed hands?? Thats pretty kinky and a little unsafe in the water don't you think??

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 03:19 PM

Proper technique

Improper technique (This variation WILL result in death)

Lost Dog · 08-10-2006, 04:05 PM

Do you actually walk in slow motion? Do you toss your mane, too?

I'm having trouble visualizing this. Could you do some sort of video and post if?

Jason B · 08-10-2006, 04:05 PM

This makes me think of the scene in Pumping Iron when Arnie's running out of the water, looks like a sea monster or something!

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lost_Dog

Do you actually walk in slow motion? Do you toss your mane, too?

I'm having trouble visualizing this. Could you do some sort of video and post if?

Sadly, my mane isn't long enough.. So that pretty much means a no go on the video..

But, if you do the program prescribed, everytime you walk out of the water, you to will look like fabio. Garunteed.

I almost forgot, once you are on the sand, you need to slowly bend down and pick up a seashell, you need to hold this bent down position as long as possible (but not to long, otherwise people will know what you are up to)..

The seashell is a very important variable to the equation, without it, you might as well be this guy

Funk · 08-10-2006, 04:52 PM

10 bucks says more chicks look at you come out of the water if you either:

1) Tug on yer McGillicutty a little to get that "pump" you were talking about to look really Hulk'd Up!

2)Walk out of the water butt nekkid

I'm sure the exercising wouldn't hurt, but your program ignores the legs completely, so what kind of work should we be doing below the belt? Thanks in advance, I'll be at the beach this weekend trying it out.

-Dustin

Ogedei · 08-10-2006, 04:54 PM

nice of you to finally post a pic of you Javanme.

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 04:57 PM

Well, Dustin, there isn't any program in the world that can help you with your... problem.. It's simply genetics man, sorry you lucked out..

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogedei

nice of you to finally post a pic of you Javanme.

Well, look who decided to show up.

(Ya, that's the best response I could come up with.. Pshh)

twinsavsvikingsfan · 08-10-2006, 05:02 PM

Quote:

*On all exercises cuff hands to add maximum resistance*

Do you maybe mean "cupped hands"?

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 05:09 PM

Ya.. but I also said this

Quote:

(Screw proper termonolgy)

jayb · 08-10-2006, 05:38 PM

Is this for real?

...

Inspired · 08-10-2006, 06:05 PM

Did you really just ask that?

Iamjennmedic · 08-10-2006, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinsavsvikingsfan

Do you maybe mean "cupped hands"?

Cuffed sounds....naughtier!! :p

jvernacchio · 08-10-2006, 07:25 PM

can I have a chick like Bo Derek running at me in slow motion too? Then I will try that silly shit.

EdChap · 08-11-2006, 02:31 AM

Gayest...thread...EVER!

karky · 08-11-2006, 05:18 AM

i dont think i would ever bother to go into the water and start doing that. gotta looks stupid, some guy standing in the middle of the water, looking very tiered and looks like he is working hard, just by standing there :P

i think i got a better idea, if you have the ability to flex all the muscles in your body at the same time, and not get a tomato red face, do that!

jruck37 · 08-11-2006, 07:23 AM

So, Jaw...

I'd like to hear the story about all the chics that approached you after you did this awesome "Beach Pump" routine.

Lost Dog · 08-11-2006, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jruck37

So, Jaw...

I'd like to hear the story about all the chics that approached you after you did this awesome "Beach Pump" routine.

He just said they "noticed."

OldGuy · 08-11-2006, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lost_Dog

He just said they "noticed."

Wonder if they snickered too?

Inspired · 08-11-2006, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldGuy

Wonder if they snickered too?

Well, this isn't anything new..

Inspired · 08-11-2006, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jruck37

So, Jaw...

I'd like to hear the story about all the chics that approached you after you did this awesome "Beach Pump" routine.

Well, I'll tell you, have you ever been given everything you could ever desire?

It's kinda like that..

Inspired · 08-11-2006, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdChap

Gayest...thread...EVER!

Dude, we know...

jruck37 · 08-11-2006, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JawNvMe

Well, this isn't anything new.. and the real story is there was no one else at the beach lmao, I was all alone.. Now, that'll give you guys something to poke at..

I'd rather you not give us something to poke at. :p

TennesseeGentleman · 08-11-2006, 08:24 AM

have I typed into the Twilight Zone?

jruck37 · 08-11-2006, 08:26 AM

Weird. He edited his post while I was responding.

GG300 · 08-11-2006, 08:35 AM

I never see the 300# guys in Vegas doing any excercises in the water and there are planty of hot chicks hanging around with them. Since they are with them every day by the pool I think they are doing more than just chercking them out. If all you are interested in is the hot chicks I would suggest getting a job that lands you a shit load of cash, buy some outlandish bling and then spread some of that hard earned cash around. That should land you all the superficial hotties you can handle.

eastcoastsurfer · 08-11-2006, 09:23 AM

Haha, I usually walk out of the water at the beach with the 'I've been surfing for 3 hours and my shoulders are on fire' pump :p