I'm enjoying the road bike so much these days that I decided to ride my first ever road rally. My wife's pregnancy is going well, so she gave me the go ahead that she wouldn't be birthing no babies just yet. So I gear up the night before.
Hmmm....should I put on fresh white bar tape for this affair? Nah! Don't want to look to "factory", the real riders might expect me to do something.
Alarm clock rings at 4:00 am Saturday morning. I drag myself out of bed and go through my normal ride morning routine. On the road at 5:00am to pick up a couple of comrades, both experienced in this type of foray. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I don't get to ride with them due to the possibility that my wife might go into labor at any moment. Nothing to cloud my mind; no instructions, recommendations, just sweet tunes.
We arrive at our destination around 6:50am. Plenty of time to register, that took all of 7 minutes, hit the porto head, and get geared up. Enough time in fact, to do a little spinning and scene absorption. It's now 7:20am and it's time to head for the start/finish line.
From a distance it's nothing spectacular. But as I approach, I am over whelmed by a sea of colors, and carbon, and aero bars!!! EEEKKKK! The one rule my mentors made sure I was armed with. Get away from the guys with aero bars. Not safe in any pack. I immediately question, "how are we supposed to get through all these people? We are supposed to start up front right?". "Follow us". Sure enough, there is plenty of room to squeeze through literally hundreds of people until you are darn near the front. Almost plenty of room anyway. A quick, poignant prayer. The national anthem. We're off! 7:30am.
This bus gets moving pretty quickly, right from the get go. There isn’t much space. But I’m not nervous. Not yet anyway. A few things of note; the humming of tires, the breadth of this pack, effortless speed, and dew…..the roads are just a little damp. The first 8 miles, i'm just taking it all in, trying to absorb all the sites and sounds. I am quickly reminded that I need to be on high alert. Things change quickly in the pack. The call of "slowing" is the first identifier I notice. This means a ripple is coming your way, so you need to feather the brakes and be prepared to "slow" if necessary. No biggie, thats easy enough to understand and respond too. Opppsss! Maybe not. I take a peek down at my heart rate monitor for a SPLIT second. When I lift my head I see the guy in front of me is going backwards at an alarming pace. I reach for the brakes, I hear "slowing" from off in the distance. I grab a fist full and lock up both wheels. Dewy roads, remember? I'm going 25 miles per hour and i'm drifting sideways in a full lock up. I manage to slow enough to miss the guys wheel by a few centimeters. Sheeewww.......that could have been horrific. Note to self, keep your damn head up at all times. Period. It's mile 9 by the way.
Ok, I regain my composure and forage on in this pack of madness. I figured I have already learned a great many lessons. I quickly realize that my tests this day will go beyond my preparations. A little brake check reveals a problem. During my lock up, I have pulled my cable through the clamp. So I have virtually NO rear brake. I can get a little pad contact around 4mm from the tape. Noice! What to do? Pull over (which is sketchy as shit anyway), or keep rolling? I decide to keep rolling. I give a little more buffer than I normally would, particularly on the down hills.
Mile 12 and the pack goes through some serious belly ache. We are covering the entire road, shoulder to shoulder. One guy gets forced into the weeds. They are knee high. I was impressed that he just kept pedaling and came out 50 yards later just fine. Immediately there after, someone has dropped their chain. This is the first time I have seen this happen and it had never even crossed my mind. Well crazy stuff happens when a dude in the middle of a 32mph pack looses all forward propulsion. Chaos ensues as everyone tries to safely get around. Another rider has "popped" and he pulls to the side. The pack chews him up and spits him out. All within 25 seconds. But the last little gem is a water bottle. I hear the call, "bottle". I don't know what the hell it means. Oh, yeah.......a damn water bottle scurrying through the pack, like an asteroid through a pack of Millenium Falcons. I'm a dumbass. And I'm not afraid to open my mouth. Or put my foot in it. "WTF is going on around here" I blurt. No one answers. I think I might have heard a snicker. 90 seconds later, I reach for my water bottle. As I pull it upwards it strikes my top tube. SHIT! It's on the tarmac. Now I'm the dumbass, hollering "bottle". Some dude slides up beside me, "aren't you the one that was wondering, what the hell is going on around here", with a smile. Had to happen I suppose. Onward.
Again, I am picking up on a few things. The pack accelerates after each turn. It goes something like this. We slow to 15mph or so, make the turn, and then it gets stretched pretty aggressively. Each time I don't have much of a problem finding a wheel, but I do have to elevate the HR to make it happen. Each turn, we unhitch more riders. When i'm in the pack, I get the HR down to a nice level. I could ride like this all day. But alas, it's the damn hills. Another place that the group picks up the tempo. Each hill, I suffer more and more. My buddy slips back from the front to check in on me. I give him two nuggets. No rear brake. And I dropped my only water bottle. Yeah, yeah, I got this crappy ass gator/protien/pomogranite juice concoction. But I NEED water to help soften this crap. Hell, I wasn't going to be into this stuff until mile 45 or 50. Oh well....he tells me I'm a dumb ass! His report? He's not feeling very strong. He even reluctantly suggest that it "might be my lucky day". I had told him on two occasions prior to this ride that I have been logging a lot more road miles. But I guess, as a Cat 3 racer, he didn't expect that to translate into me dropping his ASS!
We are approaching mile 25 and my buddy drops back (i was right on his wheel, but he was fully protected as well) to tell me that he is definitely not feeling good and doesn't expect to last much longer. Me....i'm feeling pretty good. So I just say, "i'm going to hang on as long as I can". He nods. At mile 25 we hit a big climb. 2nd largest of the day. I put a lot of effort into hanging on. And I do. But I am the last man in the lead group at the top of the climb. My buddy is dust. I'm on the back of the group so I have protection, but I'm at 194 on the HR monitor with a 201 max. I get it down to 180 over the next couple of miles, but now the road is undulating. The legs are starting to burn and the HR is not coming down. The road, the pack won't allow it. At mile 28 i'm dropped. I get to the top of a climb and the group is 200 meters in front of me. I can do nothing.
I'm turning the pedals. I'm on a downhill, so I'm moving. But the pack is seperating. There is no doubt about that. I hear a hummmm......and take a peak over my shoulder. Two guys are trying to bridge. They come by on my left. I grab the wheel. The hammer? He's on a TRI BIKE!!!!
I don't care...it's not a pack, and i'm desperate. This guy pulls like a mad man. I was very impressed. The guy in 2nd wheel was large and, as it turns out, strong. Because these two boys swap pulls for a couple of minutes. The pack is getting closer. They are 100 meters out now. I've recovered so I let them know that I can do a short one. They ablidge! I give it all I got. I am able to maintain the pace but only for about 25 seconds. I slide out and let the Tri rider come through, but the big guy jumps the shark and comes by both of us on the right side. He does a 45 second pull and the tri rider takes up the duties once again. The big guy hollars, "you can do it, we can get them at this turn, go go go go". The pack is at 50 meters when we make the turn but i'm cooked. I swing off and watch my two lead out men forage on. The road is straight, so I have a front row seat. Saddly, they never made it on. But they had gapped me by 1k or more. It's official. I'm in no mans land.
Quick check of the computer. It's mile 32. 8 miles to the next rest stop. I pedal alone for 5 miles. 13mph on the hills. 17 to 19 on the flats. I keep checking and no one is coming. Finally I see a small group coming. Looks like about 12 people. I was glad to see some riders. Screw this TT stuff. I let the whole lot of them come by me. My buddy is in the group. He asks, "how are you doing?". No doubt he is hoping I say, "I'm totally blown up man, just leave me here to die, I totally over shot my capabilities today". He doesn't get his wish. I retort, "I'm glad to see some riders, hopefully I can hang on until the rest stop. I need to get some water and fix my brake".
My buddy and I stop at the 40 mile rest stop. Grab some water. Fix the brake. Just pull the cable through and tighten the clamp. Take a minute to collect myelf. We see a fairly large group go by, so we hop on the bikes and hit the road. I notice immediately that I have some cramping characteristics I wasn't fully aware of before. My hammies are feeling pretty tight, and my groin muscles are doing some chirping. We get the wheel of this group pretty quickly, but they are moving at a good pace. We are just happy to sit in. My buddy is struggling and now I get to manage cramps. I wasn't planning on doing any pulling today anyway. I did it once, and I know damn well what it got me. Ran into a little snafu at the 48 mile rest stop. We have no plans to stop, but our plans matter not. There is a group of high school cheerleaders clapping and chanting on the edge of the road. I decide to give them a little thrill. I maneuver over and stick out my hand. They gladly get slap happy. Just then, some barney decides to ruin my fun. He takes a hard right to enter the rest stop. No hand signals or calls. He catches the wheel of the guy in front of me. Barney is now on the tarmac and I got to shut it down, and do it quickly. I get on the brakes after the last hand slap, and put my front wheel gently up against his down tube. I have already announced, "rider down". I move around the mess and head on my way. We got back on our group pretty quick, but it took some more out of us to bridge the gap.
Unfortunately for us, this course is rolling. So we have more climbs to deal with. Lots more. Including one big mama jama at mile 54, the biggest of the day. Just so you know, I drop my buddy on every single roller and slow up for him at the top. Am I being an ass? Rubbing my level in his face? Not really. My hammies are so close to cramping, that sitting and spinning is borderline excruciating. If I tried to sit and spin on a climb, I would get fully locked up. I made my situation known. I would be standing on every single climb. Which I did. So I would stand on a nice gear. Nothing huge. And it was extremely comfortable. The mile 54 hill almost cracked him. I felt pretty good when I got to the top, but the cramps were now starting to talk to the quads a bit. With 15 more miles to go and more hills, I knew we needed a break.
This rest stop was like the Ritz Carleton compared to a gas station when thinking back on the 40 mile stop. I juiced up on gatoraid and pickle juice sport. Never had the stuff before, but I needed to stop some cramping, if possible. My buddy decided he wasn't going to try anything new in the middle of a ride. No worries. I got nothing to loose, and nothing to prove. Well, that already hasn't been proven.
After about 3 miles on the bike I started to loosen up a bit. I started to feel much better. The groin and hammies were still shredded, but they just didn't feel like they were on the verge of cramping. So I told my buddy to hold on, I was going to lead him to the line. And lead him I did. I started to feel better and better. I even had to slow down a couple of times because I was putting a gap on him. We were passing a bunch of people during this time. The shorter routes were joined back in with our route so there was carnage all over the road. I kept telling him, "only a few more miles". He kept telling me, "I got nothing, i'm toast, i'm empty". He did well to hold my wheel if that was the case. We were doing 18 to 20mph on the run in to the line. Not much longer now. 1 mile. I can see the banner. Dodge a few more slower riders. We are home!
What a great ride. Crazy ride. Eventful ride. Memorable ride. I had an avg HR of 171 bpm INCLUDING two rest stops totaling 12 minutes.
I will do more rally's thats for sure. But I think I will always be a mountain biker. Just you and the trail. No skin grafts. No aero bars.
My first road rally: Report: LONG
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