I sometimes get moms or dads that insist on dropping their lazy kids off on me. They think by somehow hiring me and that the kids is in a gym and off the streets that somehow he'll just attain fitness through osmosis. I'm training a 14 year old kid now that I just cant read, he shows up three days a week with his mom's money in hand but that's where the enthusiasm stops. I try everything to get him into it, excite him, get him motivated, challenge him....etc. The kid is just expressionless and never says a word one way or another. I can't tell if he would rather be home watching TV, or hates me, or is scared of me...or what. I usually have a really rapport with teenagers because of having two of them myself but this kid is a mystery. I want to talk to his mom of I ever see her again.
Hi Steve,
I wish I had an answer for you. I had this problem with a couple of kids and basically came to the conclusion that I'm just not that good with teens because they had a great time the week I was sick and my husband trained them instead of me. After a few clients like this where it was torture for them and me, I made a decision to stick to what I'm good at and not take on any more kids.
Probably not a very helpful answer...
One did perk up a little when I asked him to make a CD for the sessions. :P
I hope it gets better!
Salut,
Kaisa
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Do you have JOY? Do you bring JOY to the lives of others? This what matters in the grand scheme of things.
Why not talk to the parents? You can coach someone who doesn't want to be coached. I would talk to the parents and just let them know how you feel or what you think.
I'm gonna be slightly snarky, but entirely based on my observations, I think your problem is that he's 14. It happened to both my brothers. (Well, one is still there.)
So… good luck with that.
Seriously, though. If he won't play, or give you any idea of what might be interesting to him, or what his goals are, I'd talk to the parents, and tell them to get someone else to babysit for them. I can't stand people who won't be engaged. Life is too cool to be too cool for life.
awww i don't want to give up on the kid. I grew up LOVING the gym. I feel its my jobs to make him feel him the same way. You guys are also right saying that "yeah, he's 14 and that is just that age". Kids that age, especially boys, just don't seem to open up to adults very easily. I notice girls are more friendly to adults and usually never shut up. But i'm getting through to him I feel.
Then you are on the right track. Once you connect (if you do) then it will all fall into place. But it is very hard to "connect" - patience and leading. I think that kids like that need the "big brother" to look up and hopeful want to emulate and then maybe you will connect.
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Peter
After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend…
I don't know if my experience is helpful, but I find adolescent boys to be pretty bad at communicating their feelings. Undergraduate students (although technically men at this point) can be the same way. The last time I taught, I spent the entire semester thinking "these guys really aren't having fun, they do the assignments but they are grumbling the whole time, I'll never get them to feel as excited as I am about drawing." Then, after class was over, several of them told me that this was their favorite class ever and they never worked so hard and it was great. ?!?
Basically this is my long-winded way of saying, hang in there. If he is showing up and doing what you ask him to do this is an excellent sign. I wouldn't necessarily expect more, even if he is loving it (secretly).
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i do like the library, but i also like the gym my new log!
This is so true about the big brother thing. It looks like the more this kid comes in the more we kind of bond. I'm trying to show him that I have his back and I really think that he is getting the point now that I really am trying to help him. He's really coming around over time.
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Originally Posted by diamondpete
Then you are on the right track. Once you connect (if you do) then it will all fall into place. But it is very hard to "connect" - patience and leading. I think that kids like that need the "big brother" to look up and hopeful want to emulate and then maybe you will connect.
Motivating a kid who doesn't want to be there?
After a few clients like this where it was torture for them and me, I made a decision to stick to what I'm good at and not take on any more kids. 
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