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Old 01-11-2006, 06:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
TORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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haha...good...but I am VERY politically incorrect then...for both sexes.
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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That was fucking hilarious OldGuy!
 
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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From an email a friend sent me.
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Old 01-11-2006, 07:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
my favorites
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Old 01-11-2006, 08:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

lol, holy shit. that sounds like something I heard in a work meeting, lol
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Old 01-11-2006, 08:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
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ODB'SBEARD
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Member # 2923

Where's Paulie Walnuts when you need him.
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Old 01-11-2006, 09:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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LMAO I am soooo politically incorrect!!! all the way around..
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Old 01-11-2006, 09:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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that's a good question ninja
 
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Old 01-11-2006, 09:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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i know it is a very good question tony
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Well now we have ODB, ODB'sGirl, and ODB'sBeard. I guess it's only a matter of time until we are blessed with the presence of ODB's Bike. And ODB's Compass. And ODB's Left Hiking Boot.
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:10 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Uh oh, someone's pushing the envelope here

Where's Raspy when you really need him...
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hilarious !!

Hats off to those who thought of these and "Documented" them as well

ODBSBeard.. Ha Ha.. we will need a proof that you truly are his beard.
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:18 PM   #14 (permalink)
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okay I'm feeling like a huge dumbass but... who is ODB???????
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"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind at all," I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you."

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http://plainjanestrikesagain.blogspot.com/
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:37 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
okay I'm feeling like a huge dumbass but... who is ODB???????
http://forums.jpfitness.com/cgi-bin/.../00000340.html
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Old 01-11-2006, 10:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thanks... [img]smile.gif[/img]
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"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind at all," I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you."

Roald Dahl, The Witches



http://plainjanestrikesagain.blogspot.com/
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Old 01-12-2006, 08:07 AM   #17 (permalink)
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okay I'm feeling like a huge dumbass too but... who is ODB'SBEARD??????
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Old 01-12-2006, 09:04 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I don't know TS, Unless my beard has left my face while I was sleeping and been doing some posting. Looking at the post times I wasn't sleeping then so it must be an imposter.

Oh, Jennmedic, ODB is short for Outdoorboy (not the other ODB, I get that all the time) I'm a regular that hasn't been around as much as usual lately. Welcome to the forum.
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Old 01-12-2006, 09:34 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Maybe that's the problem. You haven't been around much and your beard had such severe withdrawals that it couldn't handle it and decided to post on its own.

It's a theory.
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Old 01-12-2006, 09:39 AM   #20 (permalink)
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hmmm......could be.....
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Old 01-12-2006, 12:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Where is the ODB Fan Club cuz I wanna join!
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Old 01-12-2006, 01:31 PM   #22 (permalink)
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PM me Erika and I'll tell ya.
 
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Old 07-14-2007, 07:25 PM   #23 (permalink)
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who are these poopy pants and butt boy?
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Old 07-14-2007, 09:58 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Trolls who brought the quality of the forum waaaay down until they just up and left one day.
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Old 07-14-2007, 10:24 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Lost cow provider?
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