A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the
hospital when during her tour, she passed a room where a
male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why
is he doing that??"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm
very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a
serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with
semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day,
he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily
rupture".
"Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the
woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and
it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral sex on him.
Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be
justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly,
"Same illness, better health plan."
An old cowboy sat down at a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied,
"Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring
calves,
cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs,
so I guess I am a cowboy."
She said,
"I'm a lesbian! I spend my whole day just thinking about women.
As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women.
When I shower, I think about women.
When I watch TV, I think about women.
I even think about women when I eat.
It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy
and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied,
"I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her
girlfriends when an exceptionally tall,
handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that
the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and
walked directly toward her (as all men will).
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he
leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything,
that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one
condition." (There are always conditions)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.
Then he replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three
words."(controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20
bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her
address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully
said....
A group goes into a restaurant to get dinner. After they're seated a waiter walks up to the table to introduce himself and take their drink orders. When he returns with their drinks one of the group notices that he has a spoon in his shirt pocket.
"Excuse me, could you tell me why you keep a spoon in your shirt pocket?" the woman asks.
"We had an efficiency expert come in and he said that since spoons are the most often dropped untensils we should keep one in our pocket at all times".
The group nods and the waiter walks away. Several minutes the woman does indeed drop their spoon. Immediately the waiter is there replacing it.
After their meal is over the waiter walks by with their tab. While they're talking about the food one of the group notices that the waiter has a string hanging out of his fly.
"Excuse me" the woman asks "why do you have a string hanging from your fly?" while stirring her coffee with her freshly replaced spoon.
"Easy" the waiter responds. "When the efficiency expert was in he said that men waste time using the restroom and that with the string when can walk in the restroom, unzip, then pull it out with the string"
"Interesting" she says "how do you get it back in?"
Deserve...still in pain but tired of just laying on the couch. The pain meds they gave me just put me to sleep. I think I need something stronger...or maybe just more alcohol
Scooter..if OG buys me drinks..I'll be the one on him..lol.
TG, sorry to hear that you're still in pain. What kind of meds does your doc have you on? I've got lots of drugs for pain, some make me sleepy, some just wire, and some I don't notice except that I'm no longer in pain. I'm sure there's one out there that'll eventually work for you while they figure out what's going on. Speaking of that, have you had any news?
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