life..that girl..what do I do?

[Ogedei]

So in a nutshell 3 years ago I started to date this girl who probably wasn't the most compatible girl in terms of interest. We started seeing each other seriously and things were good for about a year. To make a long story short we have split up and gotten back together a few times now.

Last fall we decided to move in together. Things were going well. I will admit at this time I was enjoying life, but had little direction when it came to goals and where I wanted to be. At the start of the year I began my new life of being fit. She did not.

She flew across Canada in the late spring to see one of her best friends get married. She was gone a week and during this time I missed her intensly and decided that she is what I wanted, who I wanted. When she returned within two weeks she laid down the ultimatum, she had decided she absolutely needed to have children, which I was pretty sure I was not cool with. When I said I didn't want kids she said she needed to have someone in her life that could give her that, and so she broke up with me. And for the next couple of months was I a bitter person.

I moved out and hooked up with someone she dosen't like very much for sex and nothing more, and although the sex there was fine I do sort of regret that course of action now, it was immature and dickish.

So last month I go to a kegger and just get BLASTED. like BAD blasted and out of the drunken haze I have a phone in my hand and I call her. When she picks up I ask her to come and pick me up, and drive me home. Which she does. I'm still not sure why.

So I guess here is the thing. I still see her a few times a month and I obviously still have feelings for her. She feels that my feelings for her are stronger when we are apart and would need some sort of reason to trust in that these feelings are true, and I guess in all honesty so do I.

my life is far more focused and better than it was on all levels except this one. I am happy in a lot of ways, but in this way I am not happy at all.

So why am I writing this, god I don't know, need to get it off my chest, need to know if I am on crack when it comes to this girl, is she the one or am I just not getting over her?

Anyhow, any comments, anecodtes or advice on my crappy love life are welcome and appreciated. Thanks guys.

Og.

[Becka]

Hey Og,

wow..
All I can really say to you is... You need to ask yourself if you will every be ready for kids. If you just aren't ready right now, or if you never want kids. If you know deep down that you never want kids, it is best you move on. You don't want to have kids and not want them. That wouldn't be fair to those children you would be bringing into the world, nor be fair to yourself or significant other either! Really think about your life with her. If you think you may want kids "some day" tell her that. See what she thinks.

I am by far not a relationship expert (no way) but you have a choice, ask yourself the question. What can you live with.