Hey guys, as many of you may remember, last year i was awarded a columnist position on the school paper. My first column ran today. I used the title "Sharkbait" last year, but have switched to "Stuff" this year, as I feel it better suits my writing content. Here's the link to my first column (incorrectly labeled "Sharkbait"):
Hey! I hope everyone had an awesome summer and a great first week of class! I'd like to welcome URI's new students with a "Survival Guide to Rhode Island." If you're from out-of-state, you may already have noticed that Rhode Island is, well, weird. Fortunately, we're also the coolest state in the Union!
Rhode Island (aka Lil' Rhody) culture can take some getting used to, especially if you're not from New England. So without further ado, I present the "Survival Guide to RI."
One of the most notable qualities of Rhody culture is our language. The most common characteristic of the Rhode Island dialect is the "Rule of R," best explained by example. The sentence "I spilled soda on the posters," would be pronounced by a Rhode Islander as, "I spilled soder on the postahs."
Another amazing aspect of Rhody vocab is the word "wicked." Wicked isn't an adjective in RI - it's an adverb. It means "really" or "very" or "hella" or whatever your word of choice is. Improper use: "The beach was wicked today." Proper use: "The beach was wicked nice today." Learn it, love it - we use it all the time!
Fast Fact: It's not pronounced Rhode Island. It's Roe Dyland.
Another unique piece of Rhode Island culture is our food. We've got stuff that you just can't find anywhere else. One must have is hot wieners ("weinahs"), which are essentially glorified hot dogs covered in meat sauce. They taste best when the guy making them lines them up on his naked, greasy arm to put the toppings on them. I'm not sure what's in them that make them different from dogs, but damn are they tasty!
Another Rhody staple is Del's Lemonade. It's essentially frozen lemonade blended into slushy form, with chunks of lemon added to it. It's wicked good! And you can't forget pizza strips - pizza cut in strips (duh!) without cheese. Best served at room temperature.
We also have many unique - and confusing - names for things. Submarine sandwiches are called grinders ("grindahs"), pasta sauce is called gravy, and milkshakes are called cabinets. Drinking fountains are descriptively named bubblers ("bubblahs").
If you plan on driving somewhere with a Rhode Islander, you better not plan on being in the car longer than 15 minutes. In a state as small as ours, driving more than a few minutes to get anything you need is unheard of! You can also expect that your Roe Dyland friend will know someone no matter where you go. In a state as small as ours, everyone either knows you, or knows someone that knows you.
If you do decide to venture out without a local and you get lost, don't bother asking for directions. We give directions using landmarks ("landmahks"), usually ones that don't exist anymore. Typical Roe Dyland directions sound something like, "Drive about two miles, and then take a left where the old Dairy World used to be."
The great Mark Twain once said, "If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes." Out-of-staters may find it frustrating that they can leave their dorms in the morning wearing shorts and need snow-pants by the time they get back from class. Variety is the spice of life - learn to love it!
Also, when the weatherman predicts snow, even just an inch or two, make sure you stock up on bread and milk - it's a Rhode Island tradition dating back to 1978! Weathermen had predicted some light flurries for Feb. 6 of that year. What we got, though, was a blizzard ("blizzahd") with a snowfall rate of up to two inches an hour that left people trapped in their homes and cars ("cahs"). Stores were closed for days, driving was banned, and people had to walk, ski or snowshoe everywhere. Now we all stock up on the necessities at the first mention of snowfall.
I'm sure you'd all love to find out some of the in's and out's of URI, too, but half the college experience is finding them out for yourself. A few quick tips though: URI does everything back-asswards. Learn that early on, and you won't be as frustrated. Also, when you're riding into town, drive a max of seven miles over the speed limit. Cops around here are wicked quick to write tickets, and they have speeding traps set up everywhere. That's all for this week. Have a great semester, and welcome to URI!
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Wicked excellent intro to RI living, Chris! I learned (or luhned) a few things I didn't know about your state. Good start to the year, man. Keep 'em coming!
Rob
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"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
What is it with the word "wicked"? When I moved to Massachusetts in the late eighties for high school people were saying wicked back then. When I went back there this summer, for a family reunion, people were still using that word. Even my mother! And of all the places I've ever lived, only New Englanders use it. I spent 3 years in Alabama while I was in the Army and the natives there looked at me as though I was speaking a foriegn langauge. Little did they know they were the funny sounding ones! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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“Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. We can hunker down and hope nothing hits us or we can stand tall, lean into the wind and say, 'Bring it on, darlin', and don't be stingy with the jalapeños.'"
Congrats, SB. Always nice to be published (gotta dig through my stuff to find old campus articles I wrote). BTW, just applied for a radio gig up in Providence, so if it's full-time (haven't heard back yet), might be up that way. Shutcher doors 'n' bar yer winders! [img]smile.gif[/img]
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My Movember page (yes, I'm slacking on pictures)
Nice work Chris. Some freshman just cut that out and is practicing his vocabulary as we speak. Good job.
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"It's what you've got inside that matters. The details and technological things will take you only so far. You still have to pedal the bike. Some people are always looking for the magic secret. There's no secret. Just bust your ass." -Dave Zabriskie
On the "wicked" thing, I had a college roommate in Montreal years ago who was from Boston and, now that I think of it, she always used wicked as an adverb. Thought it was a strange usage at the time but never connected it to her residency until now. Interesting. She now lives in AZ - I wonder if she still uses it?
__________________
"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
Nice article. I always enjoy reading about local lingo.
Pasta sauce is called "red gravy" in New Orleans. I'll have to mention to my wife and in-laws (from N.O.) that it's also called "gravy" in RI. New Orleanians have different expressions for so many things it can be maddening to try to adapt when living there.
Bama... the "gravy" thing isn't just a Rhody expression - it's an italian one. It just so happens though, that Rhode Island is overloaded with Italians!
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Renegade HR: Recruit great people. Inspire them to do amazing things. | http://renegadehr.net
I learned (or luhned) a few things I didn't know about your state. Good start to the year, man. Keep 'em coming!
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