So I just got off work an hour an a half ago. Drove by the music store on the way home to replace my tupac all eyes on me cd for the third time in my life. Sitting back relaxing its been a stressful week. I can't help but remember what I was doing just last year on friday nights. Times have changed drastically. I don't smoke the herb anymore. I don't drink now. And I keep myself out of trouble (no one out there wants to kick my ass...as I know of).
How did I go in one year from moving to a new city with no friends, meeting a crowd and partying nonstop, getting engaged, moving off with a girl to some big city tryin to support us and do school because I was young and STUPID, breaking up, moving back home, and now back out on my own again in a completely different city. Feels like starting over again, I guess I am lucky I have a second chance and know I can apply the lessons I have learned. I think about stuff like this when I'm home alone doing nothing on a friday night...
I wonder what my exfiance is doing (probably getting wasted, fucked up on some drug, and doin something stupid). Bah, what does it matter. I wonder what all those friends I had made in the other town I did so much partying and getting into trouble with are doing...probably partying and getting into trouble. But me, I'm sitting at home, remembering all the craziness of the past couple years.
If I have learned a few things it would be this. Isolation is not healthy, the greater friends you have the richer you are. Fixing isolation with a huge group of "friends" that really don't give a shit about you that much can really get your ass into some shit and isn't going to get you far. Finding a girl to fix the isolation isn't the best idea either because your whole life will revolve around her. Solution? Make a couple of really good friends you can just chill with (have yet to do that here).
I don't know what all of that was about, I'm basically just bored. These two girls wanted me to go party with them, I think I will next weekend. But I should be careful, don't want to party myself away again, it does get old though...partying all the time. I mean what is it...standing around getting bombed talking to the same people you see at every party or club. Yeah, give me a couple of good friends I can sit at home and watch tv with and play playstation games with and occasionally hit a party for fun.
In a way i feel like no time went by and I'm in the same spot I was a year and some ago. Just feels...weird. I've really got my head on straight now and I'm focused. Just often wonder what certain others I've met along the way are doing out there, somewhere. Not that anyone cares, this post is pretty pointless really. Just felt like spamming up the off topic area with inner dialect.
Dude, you should be blogging, or at least journaling (does anyone know what that is anymore?). Funny how I feel the same way in a lot of respects. Everyone I partied with during and after college disappeared about a year after I graduated. I, too, put too much stock in false friends and ill-advised relationships. I hear from some of them every now and then, but mostly because they owe me a boatload of money and I threatened to sue (thank goodness I'm anal-retentive about recordkeeping).
I've done the party thing, done the engagement thing, and done the isolation thing. Being alone has its drawbacks whenever you're sitting around on a Friday night posting to an Internet message bored about all the crazy stuff you've done in the past. However, _evangelist_ living a life of isolation, of contemplation, of reflection, of self-determination, far surpasses leading a life away from the path of rah-chess-ness _/evangelist_
There are times when I have trouble getting motivated, especially when it comes to diet and training. I'll wonder just exactly what in the hell am I doing all this for? That funk may last a couple days or even a week, but it's usually a sign that I need a break to let loose, eat a whole pizza and drink some beers, and just sort of mentally recover (this fitness thing can be more taxing on your mind than on your body, at least in my case). The few "chill" friends is a good idea, but not necessary. I got a dog to sort of fill that void, and though he's a complete ass sometimes, he's just at that age (about 2 human years) where he's always trying to run around and play, and it's hard to stay in that funk while you're around someone so completely oblivious to anything other than a rawhide chew toy.
Speaking of blogs....
Okay, hadn't planned on any of that, but there ya go. It's 7am, so I slept in for about three hours. Guess I need to go do something productive.
Ya know, when I was YOUR age......
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I totally feel you. I'm thinking about getting a cat, no dogs allowed in these apartments (or cats, but I think a cat would be easier to hide than a dog). I never really binge on pizza and beer, but I do keep hersheys chocolate around in small amounts, and I'll indulge in a couple hundred calories of pure chocolate every now and then, it keeps me sane.
It's 7am when you wrote that and you slept in three hours? What the hell, is you CRAZ-E?
Originally posted by Rev: It's 7am when you wrote that and you slept in three hours? What the hell, is you CRAZ-E?
Nah, I usually get up at 3:30am to go to work--morning show on a radio station, so we have to be up, rolling, and chipper when everyone else's sorry ass is just rolling out of bed [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Originally posted by Rev: Yeah, give me a couple of good friends I can sit at home and watch tv with and play playstation games with and occasionally hit a party for fun.
Man some of my best nights were spent in a car with my two best friends, be it on a warm southern night or cold winter night, cruising around aimlessly on the county roads with some chillin music until 2am. Another great memory is being with the same friends and shooting the breeze while playing some classic fighting game. Good times good times.
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Those are some very interesting observations you made. I used to do the same things (party all the time etc.) and admittedly sometimes still do. Albeit much much much less. One thing that worked and works for me is to go out with that group of people order the drinks, but always get me a water with lime so they think it's vodka tonic. And just sit around and watch. It always amazes me.. and another observation is some of the women I flirt with when i'm drinking. hahaaha I would not even get close too sober. i'ts a little scary. Keep me motivated not to do this sort of thing if you know what i mean.
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