So anybody who knows anything about diamonds - ladies especially: what shapes are fashionable? "Radiant"? "Oval", etc, etc.? I have no clue... help would be greatly appreciated!
Also, any thoughts on setting types? White gold, yellow gold... so many details!
What kind of jewelry does she wear - does she typically wear gold or silver/white gold? My ring has been reset into white gold, which I love... And of course Platinum is wonderful but pricier. Round is classic and always in style, cushion cut is trendy now (I think)... pave around it is very pretty but maybe depends on her taste if that's too blingy or not...
I love bezel settings because I don't worry about a prong coming loose ever, but some people don't like that type of setting...
I don't know a thing about diamonds, it sounds like congratulations are in order.
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So THAT's why your armpits have been really wet lately!
For future reference---fiance refers to a male, fiancee to a female. I was not aware that Ian would be marrying a gentleman friend (not that there's anything wrong with that )
I agree with Tina. Try to find out what she likes, or ask her friend. Wouldn't want ring disappointment to flatten the momement. If she knows you're poking around asking her friends questions, then it might make it more fun. Or take a walk near some good jewelery window shopping and ask questions.
Besides, she has *some* idea you're going to pop the question, right? I knew Russ was going to propose (eventually ) but I didn't know when and where, so it was a surprise. Then when I figured out the day and that it was iminent, he still kept me hanging on when he was going to get it over with
I agree with Tina. Try to find out what she likes, or ask her friend. Wouldn't want ring disappointment to flatten the momement. If she knows you're poking around asking her friends questions, then it might make it more fun. Or take a walk near some good jewelery window shopping and ask questions.
Besides, she has *some* idea you're going to pop the question, right? I knew Russ was going to propose (eventually ) but I didn't know when and where, so it was a surprise. Then when I figured out the day and that it was iminent, he still kept me hanging on when he was going to get it over with
PS Happy for you!!
Thanks cappy!
Yes, she has some idea... we've talked about living together and kids... so, yeah.
I'll ask a few questions here and there without being TOO obvious. And I don't know the details of "ring disappointment", but it sounds like one of those "marriage maladies" that I'd hear about for YEARS!
First, figure out what you are want to pay. (can afford to pay). Do not buy into these arbitrary price guidelines - such as three months wages ....
Then think about how to maximize your value for what you are paying. Keep in mind that women do NOT usually wear their engagement ring AFTER they are married. Speak up married folks, you know this is true.
There a lost of ways to go to get more "bang for your buck" - whit gold instead of platinum (some find plat is too "cold"), if you want to get the most "ring for your money" go with a solitaire" the "flecks or small stones are of little value and just "bump up" the ring (fine to put them on to add "sparkle" but disregard them as having any value other than cosmetic) .
Jewelers will often try and sell you on the the 4 c's.
Clarity: there is a scale that rates the inclusions or blemishes, and once your get to VS1, the price jumps every grade. Now here is the trick. Jewelers will give you a song and dance about the investment, etc. But basically you need to get above VS1. That means it is not visible to the naked eye. You can in fact go a bit lower with a good setting that "hides" the inclusions. (Clarity above VS1 or if you more fussy VVS2 is strictly for an "investment diamond- and if she is wearing it and scratching it- it is not an investment diamond). Higher clarities are "sales gimmicks for the normal consumer. Hey if you are rich than great- get Flawless grade.
Color- I think that anything over a I or H - G -to be safe- is fine, though of course higher is better- it depends how much you want to spend. (remember this scale is somewhat arbritrary so look at it!
Cut- This is the most important aspect for the consumer. A good cut will make a decent diamond look great!
Carat- basically the size, but again this a a big "sell" point. but is not that important- don't be impressed when they tell you that is has another half carat of diamond around the stone... doesn't cost much to do that.
Setting... NOT on of the big C's but probably the most important. This is where a GOOD jeweler is separated form the pack. He will take a decent diamond and make it look great. Things (to my eye) that perk up a diamond- white gold, stones around it. setting that boots the "height" of the diamond. It is a matter of taste and don't be afraid to say yeah right but still looks like shit.
BTW, even a high quality diamond will not look as good in a yellow gold or pink gold setting because it will reflect the pink or yellow (unless of course you have a yellow diamond Mr. Gates... lol)
This most important thing is:
Buy the seller not the ring This actually comes from watches but it holds true here. What you are buying is not a ring. You need to buy a store first. Best places to shop- family owned businesses -preferably with a referral from someone who has a relationship with that seller- people networks count!
Go by yourself (by yourself) to Tiffany or similar shop - (don't bring GF because ultimately you do not want to buy from Tiffany ) But have a look at a 1 carat diamond, and then a .3 and you see they both look great. It is the quality not the size (of course the 1 carat probably looks better) Ask questions and pretend you can afford their stuff .
Then look elsewhere, keep in mind some of the settings that tiffany can use will not look so good with lesser quality stones.
ALSO - consider that a sapphire (or other stone) can make a beautiful engagement ring and is much more versatile. (Diamond engagment rings are often seen as formal wear and many women wear them at formal events ONLY so Xmas dinner, a wedding, (not even a funeral - since u have to wear pearls ) , graduations, etc. But a BIG kick ass sapphire works everywhere!
One final comment:
It might be slightly different in the US, but the price point where is starts to get silly is around .75 carats- once you get over around that size the price really starts to jump for diamonds. BUT .7 is big and with a good setting and design it can really impress the hell out you. (oas could a well done .3 - )
Hope my ramblings help.
Cheers
Peter
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Peter
After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend…
Hint: grab your camera and take a few pictures of the ones you like, then ask Peter for the final decision. I don't think she should pick her own ring, but it might be a cultural difference.
There is a high chance of actually making the best choice.
Keep in mind that women do NOT usually wear their engagement ring AFTER they are married. Speak up married folks, you know this is true.
I wear mine daily (but not to the gym)... been married 20 years. It's been reset 3 times though, as my taste has changed a lot (as did our budget) in the last 24 years (we were engaged 4 years)...
One note about daily wearing - Peter mentioned height, and that can set a stone apart and make it look better BUT it also makes it easier to smash it into things... my ring is actually set pretty low - on purpose - because I do wear it and want to minimize the daily damage I do to it...
ETA: Good luck Ian, and we're gonna want some pics!
LOL- there is always one trouble maker I do bet you are the exception to the rule about daily use though. And since you are, the low setting is the "smart" thing to do. I know I wack my watches about, especially the thicker one.... and the smack of the crystal against a door frame always makes me cringe in terror .. not shattered yet, but if you get a nice hit with a higher set diamond, you might not notice it until you get home...
there she was-GONE (canadian humour)
cheers
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Peter
After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend…
Some women like gold. Some like white gold. Some want platinum because of its status.
Round cut diamonds are timeless, princess cut are the rage (and, I think, equally timeless now). Oval and heart shaped ones, I think, look a bit cheesy, but some women really like them.
I'm assuming you don't want to ask her what she likes for fear of tipping her off (fair enough). Dig through her jewelry box, mate!
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Pete, can't say I agree with you on that, either. My mom, all of my aunts, and all of my friends who are married continue to wear their engagement ring. Maybe that's a Japanese culture thing? The engagement ring is usually more expensive (and shiny!) anyways.
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"Yeah, my friends from the Internet helped pick it out".
You can drop hints about what kind of cuts, setting and materials she likes. But I would go with picking it out myself from the information gleaned. Shows initiative.
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Pete, can't say I agree with you on that, either. My mom, all of my aunts, and all of my friends who are married continue to wear their engagement ring. Maybe that's a Japanese culture thing? The engagement ring is usually more expensive (and shiny!) anyways.
Thanks everyone, especially Bytsi with the details...
Congratulations only if I get the right answer!
Tina: that won't ruin the "surprise"?
You have got to get sneaky here.... take her shopping, hit a bunch of stores, see what she gravitates to in the jewelry cases. Look at her current jewelry.
Ask her friends if any of them can keep it to themselves. Ask her mom. Etc.
There are many ways to skin the cat on this stuff. But take it from me.... you do NOT want to give her something she secretly hates that presumably she'll be wearing for the next forever.
When I wore wedding rings I wore the engagement with the wedding band. I should admit they were a set meant to be worn together, but even if not, that is what we all did (my friends and peers). My mom and aunts always wore both the engagement ring & the wedding band. I'm sure my grandmothers both wore both all of the time. Many of my mom's generation had the pair reset into a single ring for a 25th anniversary or some such occasion. My sister also wears both, as do most of my female cousins.
Go through your girlfriends jewelery (secretly of course) and try to get a sense of what she's already wearing. Do you see yellow gold or white gold? Any gold at all? Big fat gem stones or small subtle shapes? Take a picture of it so you don't forget. Bring the picture into a few different stores to get an opinion of what she would like style wise. Does she wear a lot of jewelry as it is or is she more to the plain side? Is she a hippy or business type, etc?
And forget about what's trendy. What if she doesn't like the current trend? I think it's more about her personality than a trend.
I went for white gold and platinum with a classic shape. An elegant "clean" look won't go out of style. That's just my opinion.
I too wear mine every day!!! I agree with the sneaky shopping...I used to play the "what ring would I want in this case" game with my hubby...so he knew what he was looking for. Dragging her through a few jewelry stores would be fun...
Just ask her dude. My fiancee knew a proposal was forthcoming, so we went as far as having her detail what she wanted for each quality of the ring. Maybe took away some of the surprise, but she couldn't complain about me not getting what she wanted :P
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I tend to agree, if you're on the same page you can easily talk about it or hint around or indicate that you'd be open to a giant hint or just ask what matters and what doesn't - it still will be something that you surprise her with at the time and place of your proposal.
My DH used a Claddaugh ring when he asked and then we designed my rings together (I wore the Clauddaugh as my engagement ring for months, and still wear it on my right hand).
I second the PP who mentioned other stones. My engagement ring has one center, square-cut sapphire and has diamonds (very small) on either side. It's pretty simple, but gets lots of compliments for being different. My wedding band has matching -- tiny-- diamonds.
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Diamond Ring help!
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I do bet you are the exception to the rule about daily use though. And since you are, the low setting is the "smart" thing to do. I know I wack my watches about, especially the thicker one.... and the smack of the crystal against a door frame always makes me cringe in terror .. not shattered yet, but if you get a nice hit with a higher set diamond, you might not notice it until you get home... 
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