Down, real down, and in a rut....

[rem1956]

Anyone have any helpful suggestions for getting unstuck? I have been going through alot and feeling lifeless. Don't care about working out, don't care about my job, don't care to care.

*sigh* I need a life!

Anyone else ever feel this way? If so, what did you do to get out of it?

[nate99]

I have no real practical experience to help, but just as a guess, try doing something that you remember having fun doing at some point in the past, even if it doesn't seem worth it right now, and go out and do it. Get your mind off of whatever is dragging you down and get in to something that keeps you occupied for a period of time.

For me, it might be riding a motorcycle trough some twisty roads. It requires a lot of focus and focus apart from whatever else is on your mind, its the closest to meditation that I have experienced myself.

Good luck to you.

[rem1956]

Thanks, nate!

[ninja]

42 have read this; only 1 replied

Stop obsessing about things like this and do something fun.

[Phaedrus49er]

Originally Posted by nate99

For me, it might be riding a motorcycle trough some twisty roads. It requires a lot of focus and focus apart from whatever else is on your mind, its the closest to meditation that I have experienced myself.

You stalking me??? Seriously, that's my therapy, but yeah, something that requires some intensive focus along with relaxation is the ticket.

(There's always beer, though I don't always recommend it.)

During my darker days, it often seemed like nothing I did would work. Reading, watching TV, surfing the web, even exercising would have my mind wandering. However, I did find some relief in travel--at the time, I was in southeastern Connecticut and a five-minute walk to a one-hour train ride into NYC, which gave me a sort of sensory overload as far as planning out my route and activities plus the general cacaphony of the city. I don't know how your brain works, but any kind of trip planning and execution, even if it's just out into the country trying to find obscure roads, seems to help me.

[Aoife]

And, of course, you could go try talking to someone and getting help. I mean… sometimes it's not a "snap out of it" situation.

as for:

42 have read this; only 1 replied

So? Even if the counters are working again, not everyone has an idea of how to "get out of a funk" since we're not a bunch of licensed therapists or the like. It says nothing about you or your problems, so stop reading into this kind of thing and letting it somehow bother you.




sometimes I find it's my environment that's the issue. a messy house leaves me vaguely anxious, for instance. So working toward figuring out what's actually bothering me and working toward solving it does a lot. When I just feel blah I go outside. I look and listen. I treat everything as new and interesting and hey, look at that, it becomes so… because I'm not just pretending to see, but really seeing. The normal experiencing we do is far too colored by our baggage and complete lack of real attention to be special. Too wrapped in judgement and dismissal as ordinary.

Ants are hypnotizing to actually watch. Grass is terribly interesting to look at blade by blade. Weeds are beautifully complex and often fuzzy. Leaves and trees are extraordinary examples of fractals in nature. Birds don't often fly straight… or for very long. Pigeons act a lot like squirrels.


But, again, for all we know you might actually be having a real issue other than "the blahs."

[CloveApple]

Sorry you're feeling down. I've had some pretty down periods in my life and sometimes all that helps is time. So please don't pressure yourself to be 'better" and "back to normal" all at once. If you can enjoy something active great, but if you need to scale back on commitments and be a bit of a slug for right now it's not failure.

[Phaedrus49er]

[rem1956]

Now that brough me out of it! Thanks for the laugh, Phaedrus49er!

Seriously, I watched that 3 times and now I'm smiling!

Been feeling better....slowly coming out of it I think.

[RedLefty]

I've been through very dark periods like this at least a half-dozen times in the past decade. Runs in my family. The "solution" was different every time. And those solutions were different than what worked for my family members.

Aoife's post pretty much rocked it:

1) Just because people don't respond, doesn't mean they don't care. They do.
2) There's no one thing that fixes these phases. Maybe the feelings aren't something to fix. Depression can sometimes be a symptom of a deeper issue, and it does you no good to try and feel happier while ignoring the root problem.
3) You might benefit from getting some professional help at look at any potential root problems mentioned in #2. This will also help if it's more of a brain chemistry thing, as behavioral willpower only goes so far and sometimes medicine helps from there.

In my experience all my dark seasons have been due to deeper issues. Those have ranged from things parental (fleeing the nest) to theological (throwing away some religion) to existential.

Good luck.

[Charger]

For me it helps to set goals and work to accomplish them. You try to learn something you've always been curious about or pick up a new hobby which requires some amount of work. For me I chose to compete in triathlons, which included learning how to swim which has always been daunting for me. I broke up my main goal of learning how to swim into pieces, then once I could swim I started setting additional goals. Each time I reach a goal, I feel that I've accomplished something. Having something positive to focus your energy on can not be overrated.

[FishrCutB8]

Making lists and crossing things off helps me. That and working out. Yoga is one of those things I NEVER feel like doing and ALWAYS feel better after I do it. I have been going at it three times a week and hae noticed a difference in my (sometimes) depressed mood.

[Luna Sea]

The suggestions above are great for beating the blahs.

But if the blahs turn into depression, it's time for professional help. Good luck.

[galya]

You will have light moments and moments when you laugh and then you know that you still have it in you to be back to happy and normal. It is just a matter of time, and you need to be patient with your blahs.
It's hard to explain what NOT wanting to do anything feels like or what feeling like you CAN"T do anything feels like. Just know that it's ok to feel that way.
Listen to this many many times, it will help. Mantras have strong healing power and George Harrison did great on this one.

[rem1956]

Thanks everyone! Sorry I sounded so sour re: nobody posting.

Things are better today. I'm starting out with healthier eating, more rest, and a new workout effort. Been off the wagon too long and I don't like what was happening. Working out and proper self care are very important to me. Without it, I slip into a deep dark depression. Time to kick myself in the ash and get back on track.

Thanks guys and gals....for just that little push I needed.

[Terry Monk]

Hey, sorry I'm late to the thread. Rem, you know me and that I've had these sort of problems in the past. Each person is different and I can't give you a end all, be all answer but what everyone has suggested is great. I find that it helps to talk to people; be it your internet friends or face to face with other friends. Take solace in knowing that everyone has problems at one time or another and we've each got to find our own way out of the funk. If you simply can't, Aoife had it right, seek some professional assistance. It's nothing to be ashamed of at all.
PLEASE feel free to PM me if you need to "talk". I've been there and understand it.
I'm glad to see you're working your way out already.
Take care of yourself!

[Aoife]

Originally Posted by rem1956

Thanks everyone! Sorry I sounded so sour re: nobody posting.

Why? Don't be. You had the thought, so what? Everyone does. But we're simply pointing out that it's a silly laughable thing… it doesn't make the feeling invalid… just that it's not what's actually up.

[UConnJulie]

Hey Rem ... it's normal I think to sort of get the "blahs" when you have a lot on your plate ...

Things that work for me ...
1. a little pampering (for me often a hot bath, or a manicure/pedicure) - whatever that may be for you
2. meditation/positive affirmations
3. watching a really sad movie, followed by a really funny one. Sometimes you just need a good cry followed by a good laugh.
4. doing something for someone else, be it important (like working in a soup kitchen) or not (making my husband's favorite thing for dinner)

Sending you virtual hugs ...

[Charger]

If you're not involved in a local church, you should look into that as well. There's no one better to lift you up than the Big Guy.

[Lost Dog]

I don't have a lot of suggestions... When I was down and feeling alone, I got out. Even going to Starbucks and being around people helped, even when I wasn't talking to them. Bookstores helped me, too.

Hope things get better quickly.

[stingo]

Iron is your therapist - use it. Or, alternately, sometimes retail therapy (buying yourself something nice/fun) helps too.

[eastcoastsurfer]

How about some alcohol, drugs and hookers?




Laughing always helps me