Hey all; its been a while, but I wanted to get your incite on something...
I was sitting at Starbucks the other day and made a list of things I want to accomplish in the short term (like 5 years ago!) and it was pretty daunting.
-Start 2 websites that I have had the concept for going on 5 years.
-Become an expert in Photoshop (I am intermediate now).
-Pick up more web design work on the side and grow that business.
-Read and learn about investing in the stock market (complete noob).
-Read and learn about real estate investing and decide if this is something I want to pursue.
That is the gist, but there is more I want to learn about and do and this doesn't include my everyday tasks of tracking my calories on fitday and try to do some type of exercise everyday; working 40 hours a week; going to school half time to finish my degree; and find time for my hobbies like riding my dirt bike, etc. AND I don't have kids or a girlfriend or anything like that either!
I am 28 and feel like I don't have time for a it all! How do you guys take it all on and accomplish everything that you desire in a timely manner? How do you focus and decide what to put your time into? Do you only sleep 3 hours a day?
I am just curious because I am feel like I am not doing enough to be where I want to be and the person I want to be. It doesn't help I have a hard time focusing and can be quite the procrastinator.
Say you have a weekend to do whatever needs doing. What do you do? Do you…
1) Schedule 20 things to do and feel like crap when not even half get done?
2) Schedule about 8 things, in order of importance, and be mildly disappointed if you don't do it all?
3) Schedule 4 things that are most important right now that you know you have the time for, and actually be able to do them and feel accomplished?
You're only gonna get so much done in a certain amount of time anyhow. Why beat yourself up over not being able to do everything. Prioritize. Not everything should hold the same amount of importance to you. If it does, you prolly haven't thought that much about it and whether it's really worth the investment at the moment.
Brainstorm on all you want to do and have to do. Order stuff into order of importance to you at this time. Sure, that'll change. But right now you should be tackling the tasks and goals that are most important right now. Things that will help make your life easier, maybe. Or things that once finished will help you create more time. Or things that have to be done (like working, paying bills, etc).
Work on your projects toward your goals. Be focused, but aware if your attention starts to waver. Why? Is it just that you've hit an obstacle? Is it cuz you're waiting for something? Is it because it's not as important to you as it once was?
~You want to get 2 websites up and running. Why not work on one, then the other?
~You want to be an expert in photoshop. Why? Is it because you want the knowledge, but it really won't matter that much? Is it because if you were better you'd be more efficient and would make your working with it that you must do easier/faster down the road?
~You want to invest in the stock market. Why? Is it more important that you know something versus just hiring someone else to do it for you? Is your time better spent learning, or earning to pay someone else?
~You want to read books about this and that and the other thing. Well, would your time be better spent if you got the audiobooks instead and listened in the car, while working out, while waiting in line at the dmv, etc?
DaVinci did a lot, right? You think he did it all at once? Or do you think that over his WHOLE LIFE he did all that crap?
Priorities, perspective, efficiency, focus, and patience.
If you're looking for a good system to potentially help, you could read Getting Things Done by David Allen... it's even available in audiobook.
Whatever you do, don't get knocked up! It's hard to maintain/design websites with an infant on your knee, pulling everything off the desk, spilling your drink on your desk, and trying to hit the keyboard. And your workouts must fit into one of her 30-minute naps.
When I was about 24, I met my wife. And then... I met her family. She has a huge family. And one of my new relatives was Uncle Stanley. A lot of my wife's family doesn't particularly like Uncle Stanley. He's kinduva black sheep. To me, he's just an amazing man. He was about 5' 4" tall, chunky, thick glasses and even thicker West Texas accent. If you just met him on the street, you'd think he was just some old man.
But his life was amazing to me. This guy is half american indian and spent part of his life growing up on a reservation. He ran away from home at 15, lied about his age, and joined the Marines. He fought in WWII in the Pacific Theater. After that war, he transferred to the Army for the Korean war and became an expert marksman and worked as a sniper. A few years later, he left the service and talked his way into a job working for the University of Texas where he eventually worked his way up to some sort of Operations/Facilities Manager and worked with the high energy physicists in building some of the things (like the nuclear plant and a collider of some sort) and appeared as a co-author on several physics papers in major journals. He taught a class at UT in photography which was basically for Astronomers but he also taught how to build a camera out of bits and pieces of weird things (like McGuyver.) At the same time, he also went to work for the Navy as a "reservist" but he can't talk about the missions and jobs he did for them. Although he did become a noted authority on Yamamoto and published several papers on him and went to Japan and interviewed a lot of Japanese soldiers including guys he'd actually been fighting against. He's a ham operator and in the mid-80's got interested in computers and taught himself how to put them together and had a business for himself building computers for people after he retired.
He's still alive but his vision is too far gone for him to work on computers anymore and he can't get around like he used to. Both he and Aunt Katie need help walking around.
What I learned from him is that you figure out all the things you want to do... and you start doing them. Don't try to do them all at one time. Remember you've got your entire life in front of you to get them done but don't forget them, either. Always have something that you're working on and getting better at.
Just thought I'd share that with you... didn't expect it to turn into a novel.
80% of the impact is from 20% of the work. Pick one major task and a minor one. MAKE time for the major task, try to make time for the minor. Almost everyone can take an hour or two out of their day to do something that they admit is very important to them. If you're unable to then either you're freakishly busy, orrrrrrr it's not that important to you and you need to shitcan the guilt.
One of the side effects of living in a country that you don't understand what anyone is saying is that you don't watch a lot of TV . In stead of watching 2hrs of TV every day, I exercise\do homework for an hour or so and "if I have time" watch an episode of something I downloaded. I personally didn't realize how much work I could do in an hour before, but assuming that you're decent (or willing to stick it out until you are) in your task, you can accomplish a LOT in an hour. Especially if that's one hour every single day.
i work fulltime, train 10-15 hours per week, take a full course load at a university, and demand 10+ hours of sleep every night.. yet i still manage to have 5000+ posts on here... hah.
you can accomplish alot in 20 minutes of work if you put your mind to it.
What they said... I think everyone has given pretty good advice so far.
Quit trying to eat the steak in one bite. Cut it into chewable pieces.
I can relate though. I was overwhelmed at 28, feeling like I hadn't accomplished enough.
It's easier to accomplish goals in less time if you have a plan. What will it take to get you to each goal? Write down the goal then go in reverse to where you are now. Lay it all out, whether it be classes or self-study, and lay out a plan, then stick to it. You may have to drop some things (like FitDay or something else) to make room, but narrow your scope and just cut away the dead weight because it's slowing you down.
Aoife, thanks for the thoughtful response, it gives me a ton of things to reflect on.
Frank S, good for you, I would love to get 10+ hours of sleep a day. I think forums and tv are my biggest time wasters and I hate it.
JP, glad to hear I am not alone feeling this way at 28. It seemed up until 26, I had not a care in the world.. I had a great job in my field, bought a house, etc. Then I the past year I have all this anxiety that I lost my edge and time is running out for me to accomplish all these things I want to. I just don't want to be the guy that has all these great ideas and hopes and aspirations and then is too lazy, watches too much tv, is on the internet too much, gets comfortable with his job and all of a sudden is 45 and is not the great man he wanted to be twenty years ago.
Everyone else, thanks for the posts also, very helpful.
Maybe I should rename this thread... "can you have a midlife crisis at 28?"
Lord knows, I did. And then my wife and I both just quit our jobs and moved to California when I was about 29 so I could go to The Musician's Institute in Hollywood because that had been a dream of mine. It was very stressful during those years, but looking back, I wish I had enjoyed it a little more when I was there. If there's anything I've learned in my life, it's to enjoy it while it's there.
(Someone remind me I said that the next time work has me so stressed out I can't see straight and I want to choke a beyotch. There was a lolcat with that and I can't find it. )
I tend to have little mini-midlife-crises every two to three years. We call it "The Melancholy". Without fail it's been a sign that something was off in my life and needed to be addressed. I'm getting better every time at recognizing what it is.
__________________ Megaloi -- My Blog
"Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."
- Mignon McLaughlin
Start doing something on your list, today. Don't stop 'till you're done. Trying to figure out how you're going to do something can be paralyzing. Apparently it's been paralyzing you for years. So turn off that TV and start sketching that website or coding it or whatever phase you are on. Act now, think later.
Time saving tip: If you can't go without TV, know that being able to fast forward through all the commercials cuts most shows in half. Also, having your shows recorded and waiting for you means not wasting time channel surfing and saying "There's nothing to watch" for an hour.
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"It's what you've got inside that matters. The details and technological things will take you only so far. You still have to pedal the bike. Some people are always looking for the magic secret. There's no secret. Just bust your ass." -Dave Zabriskie
I went out and bought a little notebook that I keep on me most all the time. On the weekend I write down my goals for the week and go back and rate my progress on the previous week's goals. I break them up into "work", "education", "business/learning", "heath", "emotional", and "financial". Then during the week I try to review them at least every other day to make sure I am on track and they are fresh in my mind.
This really seems to help with accountability and making sure a week or month just don't whip by without me realizing it. This notebook has turned into a journal of sorts also which is pretty neat.
The notebook is a great idea. I also use a big calendar that has enough room for me to write out long and short term projects. I'm a student, so most of those are homework related, but there's also house projects, Boy Scout stuff, thank-yous to write, etc. This lets me get everything down on paper and in front of my eyes. It also relieves the stress of having so many things running through my head that I have to remember.
From there, what I like to do too is each night before I go to bed, write a to-do list for the next day. However, I don't chain myself to that list; rather it's a list of the stuff I'd like to get done, but I recognize that I need to give myself some flexibility. Then, on a small piece of note pad paper (think the kind you get in hotels), I write my "schedule" for the next day and carry that with me. If/when I come across more stuff to do during that day, I jot it down on the back of that piece of paper. At the end of the day, I cross off what I got done, make notes on stuff I didn't finish or didn't get to and then go back to the calendar to see when I can get those things done.
I've also been without a laptop for most of the summer until I ordered this one about a week and a half ago. Not having one discouraged me from spending some much time online. I used my mom's PC to check Facebook and email periodically, but nothing else. I've also stopped watching so much TV. It's amazing how much more time I have now that I'm not lounging around watching hours of Law and Order every day. In addition to doing your weekly goals in your notebook, try writing down everything you do for a few days and for how long. Then, at the end of the few days time, look for your biggest time wasters (tv, internet, etc) and find ways to cut down on them or eliminate them all together.
As for investing, I've also become interested in it as well, and I'm currently planning on pursuing a finance degree in college. At this point, I've found that I just don't have the time to do the in-depth research I'd have to do in order to be a smart investor in individual. So, hurrah for no-load index funds and the Vanguard account my grandpa set up for me when I was like 4. In the meantime, I listen to Clark Howard's podcast to learn more and more each day. I'd highly recommend checking out his website for a whole bunch of info if you haven't already.
I apologize for getting long winded there but I'm fried from work and am just kind of rambling.
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"Rust on a nail builds tetanus. Rust on a barbell builds character, strength, and attitude." -EC
"Don't spend your life wishing. Spend it doing." -FishrCutB8
"You're a mutant, like a snake with two heads or a cat shy one nipple. Be thankful that your mutation is helpful." - LD
DAMN LAW & ORDER! .. they start the next episode without a commercial and it sucks you right in; next thing you know you feel all dirty for watching 3 hours worth hahaha.
I wish sometimes I could throw my tv and internet access out the window. But alas I am a web designer and need the internet. What I have done is keep one of my goals as watching an hour or less of tv a day and cutting out a ton of forums I regularly visit. This right there frees up a couple hours a night and makes me instantly more productive at work.
Thanks for the post Kevin; I will check out that podcast.
How do you find time for it all?
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