As I was enjoying "Super Bad" on HBO this weekend, my wife informed me that something was wrong with me. How could a well educated 52 year old businessman and respected member of the community think that this movie was funny? In addidtion, why do you watch "Animal House" repeatedly, play beer pong with your son's friends, hang out with younger people at parties, ride your jet ski so fast, .....and on it went. I tried to explain that "Animal House" is the best movie of all time, young people are more interesting, and fast is fun. Besides, I'll take up golf when they pry the basketball from my cold, clenched fingers and start attending operas when Springstein stops touring.
My question is, "am I that different?" Most of my "guy" friends do the same sophomoric stuff I do. That's why we're friends.
__________________ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ' ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
You are weird in a very good way. Sounds like my dad when he was that age. Of course, I was jumping rope with my 7 year old daughter last night and I am 39 so I don't think my opinion is valid.
You sound normal to me. I'm very similar. (Animal House is the greatest movie ever made.) I'm 45 going on 18 and very happy about it. You gotta stay young. I saw Timothy Leary speak twice in my life. I'll never forget what he said, "Avoid terminal adulthood." Don't stop learning. Don't stop living. Don't stop being young!
__________________ Yankee by Birth, Rebel by Choice
Golf and opera? Is that what old guys are interested in?
Next thing you know, the missus will be asking you to wear your pants up around your armpits and drive a Cadillac around town at 20 mph.
__________________ The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. -- Carlos Castaneda
Super Bad is funny as shit. In my opinion its what alot of guys are thinking, but wont say. My wife thought it was funny too, but then again she has a really good sense of humor, and doesnt let movies bother her like that.
With that said, that movie in particular is probably not going to be liked by alot of females. But, I can definitely see where most males would think of as funny, and maybe even be able to relate to it. So no, you arent weird.
It's hard to find people my age that aren't either complaining, griping, kvetching, or just sitting in their barco lounger, watching life on the TV.
I was looking for someone to throw around a football this past weekend and I swear, you would have thought I was wearing a mask and carrying a chain saw.
And for the record, "because it's too hot outside..." is a crappy excuse...
I'm not as old you guys () but even at my age (31) I've had women question my appreciation of Superbad. "All it is is teenagers making sex jokes. It's so over-the-top. Nobody talks like that ALL THE TIME."
They sometimes think I'm being sarcastic when I explain that yes, teenage boys actually do talk like that all the time (maybe they're not as clever as a Hollywood script, but it's the same subject matter)... and yes, it's funny because I've been there. Most of the best humor is stuff that stems from something we can relate to.
And for the parents/mothers who insist that they've seen teenage boys and never heard them talk like that... well, that's like saying they never have sex or smoke pot "because I never see them doing it".
Anyway, the only reason you should stop having fun with something is if it becomes genuinely dangerous or you genuinely lose your taste for it.
So Bill, slam a few Sammies, hop on your jetski and show off your "impressive chest" to the nearest 19-year-old gals. Up the Irons!
So Bill, slam a few Sammies, hop on your jetski and show off your "impressive chest" to the nearest 19-year-old gals. Up the Irons!
Even I know that drinking and boating don't mix.
Quote:
They sometimes think I'm being sarcastic when I explain that yes, teenage boys actually do talk like that all the time
The wife couldn't believe that either.
__________________ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ' ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
__________________ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ' ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Explain to her that your wild ways are fueled by the same hormone that faciliatates erections.
Erections? Damn, you've been watching too many Cialis commercials there old man. Didn't you see Porky's? I believe the proper term is tallywhacker.
Balbricker: Now, Mr. Carter. I know this is completely unorthodox. But I think this is the only way to find that boy. Now that penis had a mole on it - I'd recognize that penis anywhere. In spite of the juvenile snickers of some, this is a serious matter. That seducer and despoiler must be stopped; he's extremely dangerous. And, Mr. Carter, I'm certain that everyone in this room knows who that is. He's a contemptible little pervert who...
Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker!
Balbricker: Well, I'm sorry, but I've got him now, and I'm not going to let him slip through my fingers again. Now, all I'm asking is that you give me five boys for a few minutes. The coaches can be present - Tommy Turner and any four boys you see fit to choose and we... and we... can put a stop to this menace. And it is a menace.
[pause]
Balbricker: Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Mr. Carter: Five young boys in the nude, a police line-up so that you can identify his tallywhacker. Please, please can we call it a "tallywhacker"? Penis is so ppp... penis is so personal.
Balbricker: We can put hoods over their heads to avoid embarrassment. Now listen: we have got to do it, as distasteful as it is. I know it's him. That
[pause]
Balbricker: tallywhacker had a mole on it. And that mole is the key to it.
Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker, do you realize the difficulty of your request? Now, I would be very happy to, uh, to apprehend the young man myself. But can you imagine what the board of education would say if you were granted a line-up in order to examine their private pa... their private parts for an incriminating mole?
Balbricker: But Mr. Carter.
Coach Brakett: Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school...”Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
Rent that tomorrow night for you and your wife, Bill. She'll think Super Bad is Citizen fucking Kane by comparison.
__________________ Yankee by Birth, Rebel by Choice
Erections? Damn, you've been watching too many Cialis commercials there old man. Didn't you see Porky's? I believe the proper term is tallywhacker.
....
Rent that tomorrow night for you and your wife, Bill. She'll think Super Bad is Citizen fucking Kane by comparison.
Or rent 'Idiocracy'.
__________________
Those that can't do teach. Those that can't teach consult. Deserve aka Gabe
'8 replies before the gutter! Good job Clubhouse!!!!!' Ninjabookey
Rest and relaxation can be a powerful “nothing” to propel us to greater achievements. Mahler
Stop listening to your wiener. He may want to go for a swim, but you haven't checked if the waters are shark infested yet. Ninjabookey
Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] ... great films, with plots! Where you cared about whose ass it was, and why it was farting!
Costco Greeter: [Greeting every customer] Welcome to Costco, I love you.
Doctor: [Laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...
Carl's Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES! Woman at Carl's Jr.: You didn't give me no fries, I got an empty box. Carl's Jr. Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES? Woman at Carl's Jr.: I said I didn't get any! Carl's Jr. Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Woman at Carl's Jr.: What? NO! [She hits the machine. An alarm goes off, and a sign appears on the computer saying "Carl's Jr. Frowns Upon Vandalism."] Carl's Jr. Computer: I'm sorry you're having trouble. I'm sorry you're having trouble. Woman at Carl's Jr.: My kids are starvin'! Carl's Jr. Computer: [the woman kicks the computer, and it sprays a chloroform-like substance in her face, knocking her out] This should help you calm down. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes that no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr...”Fuck You, I'm Eating." [Joe approaches the computer] Carl's Jr. Computer: Welcome to Carl's Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!
Officer Collins: [addressing military brass] You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Rita: Can you take me there? Rita: [Points at TV where Monday Night Rehab is showing] Rita: [Frito lifts Rita to TV] Rita: Not here you fucking moron - there!
Secretary of State: I'm Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
[Billboard Ad]: If you don't smoke Tarryltons... Fuck You!
Doctor: Don't worry scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.
Frito: [Acting as Joe's public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why'd you do that? Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not guilty! Frito: That's not what the other lawyer said.
Judge Hank "The Hangman" BMW: Now prosecutor, why you think he done it? Prosecutor: 'Kay. Number one your honor, just look at him. And B, we've got all this, like, evidence, of how, like, this guy didn't even pay at the hospital. And I heard that he doesn't even have his tattoo. [crowd boos] Prosecutor: I know! And I'm all, 'you've gotta be shittin' me!' But check this out man, judge should be like [bangs fist on table] Prosecutor: 'guilty!' Peace.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine. Frito: Oh, that's easy. You go down by the museum and stuff... It's like- it's, like, by the museum... Sorta by... Actually, not really. More like on the street, you go, um... Wait, let me start over. Okay, you know where the time machine is?
Female Reporter: It started off boring and slow with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: 'Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!' That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, 'Man, whatever! The guy's guilty as shit! We all know that.' And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
Frito: I can't believe you like money too. We should hang out.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know? Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.
Doctor in Waiting Room: Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again. Trashy Guy: [in the background] Get your hands off my junk!
Yuppie Wife: Unfortunately, Trevor passed away from a heart attack while masturbating to produce sperm for artificial insemination. But I had some eggs frozen, so just as soon as the right guy comes along...
President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution. South Carolina Representative # 1: That's what you said last time, dipshit! South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you're a dick! South Carolina, what's up!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] There was a time when reading wasn't just for fags. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!
Ow! My Balls! Guy: Comin' up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new "Ow, My Balls!"
Frito: Yah I know this place pretty good, I went to law school here. Pvt. Joe Bowers: In Costco? Frito: Yah I couldn't believe it myself, luckily my dad was an alumnus and pulled some strings.
Narrator: The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
Narrator: Joe decided that in order to get out of jail, he would have to use his superior diplomacy skills. Pvt. Joe Bowers: [talking to the prison guard] Hey, uh... I'm actually supposed to be getting out of jail, not going back in... Prison Guard #2: [hits Joe on the back of the head] You're supposed to be in that line, dumbass! [he points to the door] Prison Guard #2: Hey, guys, let this dumbass out!
Narrator: [Time Masheen starts] We're gonna take you back, to the year 1939 when Charlie Chaplin and his nazi regime enslaved Europe and tried to take over the world... Narrator: ...But then an even greater force emerged, the U.N. [pronounced "un"] Narrator: and the U.N. un-nazied the world - forever.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Why me? Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," I get out of the way. Sgt. Keller: Yeah, when he says that, you're not supposed to choose "get out of the way." It's supposed to embarrass you into leading - or at least following. Pvt. Joe Bowers: That doesn't embarrass me.
President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING. Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho! President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING.
Secret Service Thug: Okay. Hey, a couple of us guys were wonderin', uh if we'd go family-style on her.
Prison Guard #3: [looks at computer after Not Sure tells him he's not supposed to be there] uh, well... I don't see you in here... so, you're, uh, gonna have to stay in prison.
Officer Collins: [addressing military brass about Rita's background] We did, however have to come to an arrangement with her pimp. A gentleman who goes by the name Upgrayedd. Which he spells thusly, with two D's, as he says, "for a double dose of this pimping".
IPPA Computer: Welcome to the Identity Processsing Program of Uhmerica! Please insert your forearm into the forearm receptacle! [Joe inserts his arm] IPPA Computer: Thank you! Please speak your name as it appears on your current federal identity card, document G24L8! Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not sure if... IPPA Computer: You have entered the name "Not Sure." Is this correct, Not Sure? Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, it's not correct... IPPA Computer: Thank you! "Not" is correct. Is "Sure" correct? Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, it's not, my name is Joe... IPPA Computer: You have already confirmed your first name is "Not." Please confirm your last name, "Sure." Pvt. Joe Bowers: My last name is not "Sure!" IPPA Computer: Thank you, Not Sure! Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, what I mean is my name is Joe... IPPA Computer: Confirmation is complete. Please wait while I tattoo your new identity on your arm!
[cabinet has been debating putting water on the plants instead of Brawndo] Pvt. Joe Bowers: What *are* these electrolytes? Do you even know? Secretary of State: They're... what they use to make Brawndo! Pvt. Joe Bowers: But *why* do they use them to make Brawndo? Secretary of Defense: [raises hand after a pause] Because Brawndo's got electrolytes.
[first lines] Narrator: As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.
[last lines] Narrator: Joe and Rita had three children, the three smartest kids in the world. Vice President Frito took 8 wives and had a total of 32 kids. Thirty-two of the dumbest kids ever to walk the Earth. OK, so maybe Joe didn't save mankind, but he got the ball rolling, and that's pretty good for an average guy.
Narrator: Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.
Bill, sorry for the temporrary hijack. Please go back to discussing whether Bill is weird or not.
__________________
Those that can't do teach. Those that can't teach consult. Deserve aka Gabe
'8 replies before the gutter! Good job Clubhouse!!!!!' Ninjabookey
Rest and relaxation can be a powerful “nothing” to propel us to greater achievements. Mahler
Stop listening to your wiener. He may want to go for a swim, but you haven't checked if the waters are shark infested yet. Ninjabookey
__________________ 'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ' ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
As I was enjoying "Super Bad" on HBO this weekend, my wife informed me that something was wrong with me. How could a well educated 52 year old businessman and respected member of the community think that this movie was funny? In addidtion, why do you watch "Animal House" repeatedly, play beer pong with your son's friends, hang out with younger people at parties, ride your jet ski so fast, .....and on it went. I tried to explain that "Animal House" is the best movie of all time, young people are more interesting, and fast is fun. Besides, I'll take up golf when they pry the basketball from my cold, clenched fingers and start attending operas when Springstein stops touring.
My question is, "am I that different?" Most of my "guy" friends do the same sophomoric stuff I do. That's why we're friends.
You had me on your side until you knocked opera, Bill.
But, then again, the world thinks that opera and heavy metal cannot coexist. They do, just fine, in my household.
Be yourself. That's the best you can do.
__________________ In Fitness & Friendship, MAHLER
______________________________ __________________________ There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You carry the light with you.
In addidtion, why do you watch "Animal House" repeatedly.
Agreed that "Animal House" is one of the funniest movies of all time. I watched it a couple of years ago after not having seen it for about 14-15 years. The Fawn Leibowitz scene (where they go to the women's college and Otter gets dates with the dead girl's for all of the guys after pretending to be her grieving boyfriend) had me rolling on the floor, even though I'd seen it a dozen times. Somehow, it seemed even funnier once I was a little older; that had always been my father's favourite scene in the movie, and I guess I finally understood why.....
Am I Weird?
) but even at my age (31) I've had women question my appreciation of Superbad. "All it is is teenagers making sex jokes. It's so over-the-top. Nobody talks like that ALL THE TIME."
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