Signs in the gym - JP Fitness Forums

Flashy · 02-11-2008, 09:02 PM

There are the usual advisements:

Please allow others to work in if you're supersetting
Please wipe the bench when you're finished

But how about the ones that make you think, 'seriously, people do that often enough to merit a sign? gross.'

Like this:

NO spitting in the fountain

or

NO blowing your nose in the shower

There are the same people that force us to have stupid labels on boxes, like 'Do NOT insert into bodily orifices while the unit is heated' on curling irons or 'Do NOT use while in the shower' on toasters.
Right?

Matthew · 02-12-2008, 03:39 AM

Yet another reason Jerry Seinfeld is awesome:

Quote:

Do you remember... This is an obscure one but...
On the side of the box, I remember from my Superman costume, it actually said:
"Do not attempt to fly!"
They printed that as a warning
'cause kids would put it on and... going off the roofs.
I love the idea of the kid who's stupid enough to think he actually is Superman
but smart enough to check that box before he goes off the roof.
"Let me see if it says anything about me being Superman..."
"Oh, wait a second here, I..."

Matthew · 02-12-2008, 03:40 AM

I just realized, that's not in the gym at all.

Oh well, it's still funny.

Cynic · 02-12-2008, 05:43 AM

Wet hair, lather, rinse, repeat.

Phaedrus49er · 02-12-2008, 06:16 AM

In recent weeks, my gym actually starting posting signs to only use one machine at a time. I guess I can't superset my hip adductions and abductions

Of course, they also say that the machines are for use by one person at a time. I don't even want to know what went on to inspire that one.

liftintexas · 02-12-2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flashy

But how about the ones that make you think, 'seriously, people do that often enough to merit a sign? gross.'

Like this:

NO spitting in the fountain

or

NO blowing your nose in the shower

the other morning in the weight room of the gym (a rather nice place) a guy, leans over the trash can (at least he did that much) and pushes one half of his nose, and blows a snotter into the can. I had to look away to: 1) hide the look of utter disgust on my face and 2) at 5 am I was afraid that might actually make me hurl after lifting heavy weights.

Flashy · 02-12-2008, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phaedrus49er

In recent weeks, my gym actually starting posting signs to only use one machine at a time. I guess I can't superset my hip adductions and abductions

Of course, they also say that the machines are for use by one person at a time. I don't even want to know what went on to inspire that one.

I've heard stories of people getting bizzay in the gym ... makes me want to vomit.

GG300 · 02-12-2008, 08:40 AM

We have signs for:

"No urinating in the showers"
"No shaving or use of personal hygiene products" on the door of the steam room.

I would like to see:

"Cover your Junk before hanging around and bullshitting for half an hour"

"Please use the cheap old treadmills if you are only going to be walking 2 mph and reading the newspaper"

"If you can't lower the DB without it crashing to the floor use a lighter DB"

liftintexas · 02-12-2008, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phaedrus49er

In recent weeks, my gym actually starting posting signs to only use one machine at a time. I guess I can't superset my hip adductions and abductions

Of course, they also say that the machines are for use by one person at a time. I don't even want to know what went on to inspire that one.

speaking of inspiration, and no I don't anymore, but when I used to occasion a tanning bed, there were signs in the individual rooms to the effect: "please don't relieve yourself in the tanning rooms; there are restrooms in the back of the store." Yeah, don't tan for so many reasons now ...

Phaedrus49er · 02-12-2008, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flashy

I've heard stories of people getting bizzay in the gym ... makes me want to vomit.

I've seen those pornos. It'd just be nice if I KNEW they disinfected afterward (also before for their benefit, but definitely after).

Quote:

Originally Posted by liftintexas

speaking of inspiration, and no I don't anymore, but when I used to occasion a tanning bed, they were signs in the individual rooms to the effect: "please don't relieve yourself in the tanning rooms; there are restrooms in the back of the store." Yeah, don't tan for so many reasons now ...

"Relieve" in what sense? Wait, nevermind, strike that question from the record.

Frank.S · 02-12-2008, 09:46 AM

i want one that says:

"no practacing your golf swing with a peice of wood on the oly platform"

Matthew · 02-12-2008, 10:11 AM

Phaedrus, you've seen this?

If the gym is closed and no one else is around, that's one thing. But if there are other members there (hehe, members) then that's just a good choice gone wrong.

We are talking about two players from opposing teams, right?

Flashy · 02-12-2008, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phaedrus49er

In recent weeks, my gym actually starting posting signs to only use one machine at a time. I guess I can't superset my hip adductions and abductions

Of course, they also say that the machines are for use by one person at a time. I don't even want to know what went on to inspire that one.

Further to that, there was a young fellow on the abductor machine last night. It took all my self-control to not laugh at him.

Phaedrus49er · 02-12-2008, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew

Phaedrus, you've seen this?

If the gym is closed and no one else is around, that's one thing. But if there are other members there (hehe, members) then that's just a good choice gone wrong.

We are talking about two players from opposing teams, right?

I've seen the resulting video(s), not the in-the-making phase. The gym setting is always empty, though, so I'm guessing this is done after-hours if in a gym at all (more likely in some cheap-as-hell studio setting). I'd bust a nut--er, gut laughing if I caught this with others around and during normal operating hours. I can just imagine the loudspeaker call just as I'm at the bottom of a heavy squat: "Could someone on staff come fluff Bob, please?" Awesome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flashy

Further to that, there was a young fellow on the abductor machine last night. It took all my self-control to not laugh at him.

That's something that's killed me about all this video of Roger Clemens in training. Invariably, whenever they show a montage while discussing the steroids case, one of the clips will have him on the good-girl machine.

Matthew · 02-12-2008, 10:49 AM

Ohh, I must have read wrong.
My bad yo.

Flashy · 02-12-2008, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phaedrus49er

the good-girl machine.

Love this!

fitzy21 · 02-12-2008, 01:41 PM

no spitting in the bubbla makes sense. usually it won't be washed away. i dont' have a problem with much in the shower as long as it can be taken down the drain

LisaS · 02-12-2008, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitzy21

no spitting in the bubbla makes sense.

wow - with one word you took me back to 4th grade where my teacher was a Boston transplant and used some different words for common objects than we Calif kids did. Not to mention the odd habit of taking "r"s out of some words and then randomly adding them to the end of other words.