Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really pissed.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE."
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.
__________________
I want to be pushing weights when I'm 70 instead of a walker in an old folk's home.
Two Bears Dadda? Two Bears Benno, just two. ______________________________ ___________
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit. ~Al Gallagher, 1971
__________________ The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. -- Carlos Castaneda
I think she's probably got HIS jewels hanging around her neck after that stunt. :p
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"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
__________________ "I'm growing older but not up. My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck. So let the winds of change blow over my head. I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead."
anniversary gift
"I'm growing older but not up. My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck. So let the winds of change blow over my head. I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead."
Linear Mode
