Wife in hospital again, need some more good thoughts.
Hey guys/gals.
I don't know how many of you knew that my wife stopped taking her meds about a month ago. Looooong story that I won't go into, but we've got her back on some new meds (since 1/2) but since it's taking time to get in her system, she's in a bad way in the meantime. Today the psychiatrist called me at work while Monica was there. Told me I needed to come to her office. I felt sick.
When I got there Monica was crying and in bad shape. She'd been somewhat that way for the last week but worse today. The psych wanted to admit her to the hospital again until the meds starting kicking in. I definitely agree it's for the best. I just got home from getting her settled in again. Third time in the last year. I'm soooo tired, mentally. I'm happy she's there, but part of me is mad, part is scared, large part worried, largest part just plain tired.
Tomorrow is our youngest's third birthday. She'll miss it. *sigh* I want my old wife back.
I know I'm just rambling, but somehow it's therapeutic to type this out. I know this isn't her fault and I definitely am not blaming her. I've been there. It's not something she wants to happen. But still.... a little part of me is mad. I mean, these hospital stays are not cheap. Last time we had to dip into our retirement to pay off the bill. Now I don't have enough left that I want to do that again. I'll have to use our tax return money. *sigh* so much for the remodeling that we've wanted to do to the house for the last five years. Something always turns up that sucks the money away. So much for attending the Fitness Summit. Won't be any money left for that I doubt......................... ...
Sorry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Diet has obviously gone to shit today.
I guess I just need to hear some words of encouragement from my friends.
Terry, I don't know what to say other than both of you will be in my prayers. I know the financial issues are tough, but at the end of the day she needs the care and that takes precedence over all else. I hope Monica gets better and is able to stick to her meds from here on in. Be strong, bro. We're all here for you.
__________________
"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts. I know this must be so hard on you and your family. Give your little one some extra loving tomorrow, kids have a way of helping to heal your spirit. I hope things turn around quickly for you and your wife gets feeling better soon.
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"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"
"I don't mind at all," I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you."
Oh Terry! I am so sorry to hear that Monica is back in the hospital. I know Michael has dealt with the disappointments and frustrations that you're facing personally and as soon as he gets his thoughts together, he'll respond.
It's so important for you to take care of your kids and yourself (i.e. NO skipping meds for you, Mister! ) while Monica is away.
If you want good thoughts you've got 'em. As you know, I've been there with you before and know what it's like. You've been here before too, which is surely a major cause of the frustration.
My only advice is to take the time to think about, define and acknowledge exactly what you're feeling. You know this, but I'm saying it anyway. Any squashing or denial you do now will cause tenfold issues later.
Allow yourself to be pissed off that this may have been avoidable with consistent medication. Allow yourself to be scared about the future. Allow yourself to recognize the exhaustion and the feeling of futility. These are not bad or weak reactions -- they are natural and show you care about your family.
You know that tomorrow you have to pick things up and be superdad for a little bit, and you can do it. Later on there'll be a time for rest and recovery. But not tomorrow. Your kids need you and you'll rise to the occasion as you've done before. It won't be perfect but it will be enough.
You are not alone.
__________________ Megaloi -- My Blog
"Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."
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I have dealt with depression mosy of my life, but nothing as severe as this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Monica and the kids. I know how disappointing it is to have to defer dreams, but it sounds like you've got your head and heart in the right place.
Take care of your family. It's why I love you brother--you know what it is to be a MAN. All the best going forward.
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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -- Sidney J. Harris
Terry, sorry to hear what you are going though. Stay strong for yourself, as well as the members of your family that need you now. You keep doing that, and we'll keep the thoughts and prayers coming your way.
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Those that can't do teach. Those that can't teach consult. Deserve aka Gabe
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Rest and relaxation can be a powerful “nothing” to propel us to greater achievements. Mahler
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Wishing you the best of luck man. Definitely still in my thoughts and prayers. Hope it all works out for you.
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"Rust on a nail builds tetanus. Rust on a barbell builds character, strength, and attitude." -EC
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"You're a mutant, like a snake with two heads or a cat shy one nipple. Be thankful that your mutation is helpful." - LD
I won't even try to add to the wisdom that RL already posted.
You know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm wishing you all my best, my friend. Hang in there.
__________________ The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. -- Carlos Castaneda
Thinking about you and what you are going though. In a similar situation, she would be there for you, as you are there for her. Everything you feel is okay, just let the feelings develop and go away. Think ahead, stay strong.
hugs
Galya
Just thinking about you, Terry, and hoping the b-day celebrations are going as well as they can under the circumstances. Happy b-day to your daughter.
__________________
"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
I just saw this thread now, I want to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers GR. I hope (actually i know) that your daughter's party was a success as you sound like a wonderful dad .
Hey Terry! Just checking in tonight. I hope Monica's doing better and the birthday was a smashing success! Hopefully they're in bed now and you can take a breather! We had four kiddos from 1:45 to 7 today and whew! To some extent it was easier b/c Samantha had a playmate, but somehow it was harder, too. I think the Red's are down for the night! Thankgoodness!
Strength isn't always defined by the weight one can lift. It's also defined by the hills one can climb or blows one can sustain. Be strong. Be strong for your wife, be strong for your kids and be strong for yourself. Be the man of the family. I'll be in church tomorrow morning praying for you and your family.
Mike
__________________ Yankee by Birth, Rebel by Choice
You guys are all so amazing. I'm so very lucky. I feel like all I do here is complain. Sorry about that. It's just very helpful to vent to you all easier than anyone else that I know "in person". Not sure why.....
We had a good day today. It was actually my son's birthday. He turned 3. We had a pretty good day. We're actually not having his party until Tuesday night at grandma's house. Hopefully Monica will be released by then. She wasn't in too good a mood tonight. I felt guilty going to visit her after having a good day with the kids. I was kind of in a good mood and then I went to see her and felt guilty. I know I shouldn't, but do anyway.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers. They mean more than you'll ever know.
Wife in hospital again, need some more good thoughts.
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