So Mrs. Fayman started a new job at Rochester's Unity Hospital this week. She works 11:00PM-7:30AM, then comes home just in time for me to jump in the car and get to work. Her day involves putting our 8-yo on the bus, then taking care of our 2-yo son all day while I work. During that time she tries to get enough sleep to function throughout her shift later in the evening. Needless to say, life has been hell for her this week.
So, being a Friday night, I stopped to get firewood on the way home, along with some groceries to make dinner, then cracked a cold beer when I got home to end my week. After we made dinner and ate in peace, I became a little frustrated with our daughter for not having her room cleaned, after 4 days of serious talks (and a call from her teacher) regarding behavior and work ethics.
Needless to say, Mrs. Fayman became very upset at me for ruining the 4 sacred hours we have together (and on a Friday night, of all nights) and stormed out of the house 2 hours early for work. She returned an hour later to try and reconcile, so we didn't go to bed angry. I had nothing to say. I've been such a complete jackass this entire week, knowing how hard it's been for her to COMPLETELY turn her life and sleep schedule upside down in order to help support our family. I know I'd made bad decisions, but I didn't know what to say, other than "You're right." when she accused me of being insensitive, mean, and unhelpful. I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I knew that....So I was speechless.
WELL, my lack of explanations went over like a fart in church, and she stormed out to work, still upset, and TEARING UP, of all things!!
Yes, I've made my wife cry, which is not fair to her. She's been a trooper this week, and I completely took advantage of it.
What the hell do I do? I'm really feeling like a dog, so I'm hoping all of you will confirm that I'm a $hit and tell me what I should have done. Apparently after all these years of bliss, Fayman still just doesn't get it!
Thanks guys.....actually gals...I'm sure the guys will just tear me apart for posting this!
"Honey, I've been such a complete jackass this entire week, knowing how hard it's been for you to COMPLETELY turn your life and sleep schedule upside down in order to help support our family. I know I'd made bad decisions, but I didn't know what to say, other than "You're right." when you accused me of being insensitive, mean, and unhelpful. I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I knew that....So I was speechless. Please, would you forgive me!"
Then be ready with a list of ways you can help instead of hinder her.
Also note that it sounds like she's probably REALLY tired, so tears should be expected.
Mahler and RW got it right on the money. Don't beat yourself up too bad..... we all have bad days/weeks. make sure to apologize, make sure to mean it, tell her you love her and promise to work on not being so much of a jackass.
Called her at work and told her I was a jackass. She understood, and completely agreed.
I've been trying hard to do the right thing lately, thinking ahead and insuring her happiness before anything else. Tonight was a setback and it pissed me off, hence the post.
My buddy ALWAYS says the following:
"Happy wife, Happy life"
It's true. We live for each other and I work towards achieving her happiness every day. If she's happy I'm happy, as long as I have my barbell and my drum kit!
I think you've got some excellent advice. I really hope things work out for you and that you get this resolved in the morning. Good luck, man. (And GR is right - don't beat yourself up to badly about it. It happens to us all now and again. We're human. The important thing is to recognize that you've made mistakes and make amends.)
__________________
"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
Fayman, my wife worked the night shift for a couple of years just before we had our first daughter. It was a tough adjustment for her -- she was depressed over it, tired a lot, cried pretty easily when she's really not that much of a crier. It can be pretty tough for awhile, and I imagine even tougher when kids are in the picture. Hang in there!
Mike,
We all do stupid shit at times, and, as men, our timing usually sucks. When Elaine worked nites I was quilty of the same. We plead stupidity due to testoserone and hope she understands and we can laugh about it.
Alan
Mike, we all have days like that. Don't beat yourself up over it. The apology was the right thing to do. It'll all be good in the long run. Mrs. Bond and I hardly ever fight, but when we do, it's a knock down drag out! I've always believed (and still do) that the more you love someone, the worse the fight can be when it breaks out. You've gotten a lot of great advice and from the sounds of it everything is working itself out. Best of luck to you bro! And, we're always here for you to vent. No one's gonna beat you up for that or for being a jackass.
(Even though we should! )
__________________
Gifted SmartAss Master Class Graduate
Called her at work and told her I was a jackass. She understood, and completely agreed.
I've been trying hard to do the right thing lately, thinking ahead and insuring her happiness before anything else. Tonight was a setback and it pissed me off, hence the post.
My buddy ALWAYS says the following:
"Happy wife, Happy life"
It's true. We live for each other and I work towards achieving her happiness every day. If she's happy I'm happy, as long as I have my barbell and my drum kit!
Thanks for letting me vent guys!
Wow ... I'm jealous ... my hubby totally doesn't get this ... he was a confirmed bachelor when he met me nearly 7 years ago ... I totally turned his world upside down and that wasn't always a good thing in his eyes!!
__________________
"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
Fight with the Mrs.
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