Wow. I guess with the Holiday season upon us, the off-topic thread is chalk-full of "relationship advice".... I might as well throw myself in the fire as well.
A quick Cliff Notes review of the scenario.
1. I moved to Boston this past August.
2. Boston has lots of hot chicks.
Okay, now that that is out of the way, lets talk about what my problem is.
I started working at club here in Boston in September. When I was initially hired, I had to go one day for a quick 4 hour introductory orientation. Basically all it entailed was me going in and getting introduced to the club and listening to the Mission Statement and rules and blag blah blah.
I was waiting in the main office with all the other new hires, when the woman who was giving the orientation walked in. Honestly, THE most beautiful woman I have ever seen (and to this day, I still remember what she was wearing). Her name was/is Kristin and she works in the human resources department. And let me just say that Eric probably remembers me coming home that day saying how I just met my future wife.....haha.
Anyways, so she walks in.......and call me crazy, but we made eye contact and she did a double take (looked at me, looked away and looked back at me again). I assume this means nothing and I am probably deluding myself, but well.....it happened.
In the weeks that followed, I would occasionally see her. Unfortunately, the building she works in is across the street from the club and I rarely ever see her. Not only that, but she mainly works out in the AM, and I don't usually get to work till the PM, so it just makes the situation all the more complicated.
When I originally started, I would see her maybe ONCE per week. I remember one instance where I walked out of the employee lounge and she was standing right there, greeted me with a smile (can you say butterflies?) and said "hi Tony." Holy shit, she remembered my name...haha. We chatted for a bit and then I moved along.
Another case, I was out on the floor and she happened to be there working out and she walked past me in the middle of her workout, took off her headphones and we ended up talking for about 10 minutes. I asked where she was from originally, where she went to school, and that was that.
From there, like I said.......I am lucky if I see her once every 2-3 weeks. And when I do see her, she is usually talking with a business associate or some gay man is hitting on me (I think I told that story in my training log, back when I was keeping a training log). Have I ever mentioned that she is beautiful?
Needless to say, I am sure by now she doesn't know my name and I am just another meathead trainer who has no shot in hell with her. I mean honestly, I am a trainer (one of 60 at this club) and she works in Human Resources and probably forgot my name after the first week I was working there. And I can only assume that every other guy that works here, has a crush on her.
Just this past week, I got talking with another trainer who happens to train this girl's boss. Long story short, she is single (which just surprised the heck out of me.....how is she single????) and apparenty this boss of hers is deadset on "finding her a good man." [Queue Quagmire voice from The Family Guy: allllrriight].
Wow, this is getting long. Sorry.
Soooooo, I have no idea how to approach the situation. She is 37, highly successful, just drop dead beautiful, and obviously out of my league. I am thinking that I need to make my own opportunities to talk with her. My trainer friend (who got the info for me) said that I should just call her and make up some scenario where I have a few questions about the health benefits package we just signed up for and go from there. I would feel like an ass doing that. But then again, I don't know what else to do. Shoot, maybe I should just say "fuck it" and approach her and ask her out. It's Christmas time, we have to take chances sometimes, right?....hahahaha. No worries, I won't do that.
In short, I have a major crush on someone who by all accounts has no idea who I am.
Thoughts, opinions? Show me some JP love. And Eric, shut up....:p
She's only out of your league if you think she is.
Why not say "Hi" to her when you see her, instead of waiting for her to do it. Man up.
Is Eric going to let you go? :p
I am not that pathetic..... I say hi to her whenever I have the opportunity to. It's just like 5 weeks in between said "hi's". And like I said, more often than not, when I do see her, she is "busy."
And I see your point on the "she is only out of your league if you think she is" comment. Just a bad habit of mine I supppose.
If you think your out of her league then you are...In other words like any prospecting, business or other, don't assume to know what people are thinking...use the Hoppkins methods, ask questions get her talking about herself...
You'll never know unless you approach her...
Last peice of advice...never ask a "yes or no" question....you can never get rejected asking those kinds of questions.
You could start with the health benefits angle to get the conversation started then move from that to her workout...goals dreams etc...just keep asking questions....you may find out she is for you or not before you even get a date.
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Take care of your lawn
and
the grass will be greener on your side of the fence
I am not that pathetic..... I say hi to her whenever I have the opportunity to. It's just like 5 weeks in between said "hi's". And like I said, more often than not, when I do see her, she is "busy."
And I see your point on the "she is only out of your league if you think she is" comment. Just a bad habit of mine I supppose.
Ah, so just the initial post sounded pathetic. :p Just kidding. I think you have to make the opportunity here. Go for it. Just don't be a stalker about it.
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"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have."
I am fully comfortable asking questions and getting to know her. It's just trying to come up with some way to actually get to that point.
I didn't mean to come across like some social misfit with no game. Granted, the situation IS intimidating considering who she is, and I think that is playing a role in my reluctance to even pursue anything.
Worse comes to worse, I can just bust out my robot. That would so turn her on.
In my mind, I can think of all sorts of options. Keep in mind that I'm so shy that I'd be unlikely to take my own advice.
How about being bold? Instead of dreaming up some health care question, go over and ask her about the company's policy on dating other employees. Likely, she'll know the reason for your question...
She will have one of several reactions. Plan for each of them in advance. You've heard of those "choose your own adventure" books, right?
"Excuse me, Kristen, I was wondering - does the company have a policy about employees dating? No? Well, would you like to get together for coffee sometime?"
Edit: Hmmm, now it doubley seems like a plan.
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"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have."
Just go over to her office and ask if she would like to get lunch or coffee or something. The worst that can happen is that she says no, then you can bust out the robot!:P
TG, maybe you could try the ol' so what do you do when your not at work. Or just ask to grab lunch or like OG said a cup of coffee sometime. The best ways are often the simplest. I know why you won't ask, you are afraid of rejection, if it happens, then it does. Chalk it up, but take it in stride, you never know. It may be just the instance that you ask that she can't go out. She may be willing to go out another time. You never know until you try it. In other words, just ask!
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Your accomplishments can only be as big as your heart.
You say she is out of your league. How do you know she's not thinking the same thing about you?
I've read that the most successful unions are those where each partner believes that the other person is a little bit smarter/funnier/sexier then they are.
I am not that pathetic..... I say hi to her whenever I have the opportunity to. It's just like 5 weeks in between said "hi's". And like I said, more often than not, when I do see her, she is "busy."
And I see your point on the "she is only out of your league if you think she is" comment. Just a bad habit of mine I supppose.
If you ask her out, I'll ask out the girl I want to ask; and we'll both be happy.
Otherwise we're both schmucks who overanalyze all of this shit.
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Quoth David Banner: "Like a pimp"
It's not a beer belly. It's a gas tank for a sex machine.
Oh man and you are surprised she is single?? Guys probably do this same thing all the time concerning her and then never approach her. So quit being a chinken and get in there and ask the woman out. Do you guys really do this all the time or just when the chicks are really hot? I'm confused!
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"My darling," she said at last, "are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"
"I don't mind at all," I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you."
I am the last person to give advice since JP was my only boyfriend I ever had after highschool. In high school I only had one boyfriend. I have only been asked out on one real date where the guy asked, I went and and he paid. Having said that - I would never have treated a guy poorly if he asked me out for coffe or something where it didn't require me giving a phone number or address.
Why would you assume she doesn't remember you? Try to get a face to face meeting, reintroduce yourself and ask if she'd like to meet for coffe or cocoa if you have a local place to do that at.
I think you have talked to her enough to know if she is bitchy and will treat you like a bother so you can assume she will be nice.
Personally, I would have loved if more guys had asked me out. I was always dateless. I don't know any girls that would be bothered by a guy who wrote your post.
I hope you take the plunge and I hope Nick does also since he is such a sweetie and cute!
Oh man and you are surprised she is single?? Guys probably do this same thing all the time concerning her and then never approach her. So quit being a chinken and get in there and ask the woman out. Do you guys really do this all the time or just when the chicks are really hot? I'm confused!
Yes. I overanalyze every move. It's one of those "worst case scenario is 10x worse in perception than reality."
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Quoth David Banner: "Like a pimp"
It's not a beer belly. It's a gas tank for a sex machine.
"Hi (fill in her name). I'm Tony, I work... Oh, you remember? Very cool. I'm actually on my way to (fill in activity)... too bad we're always seeing each other in passing like this... What do you think about grabbing some coffee some time?"
Friendly, casual, straight to the point... then you move on to your "activity".
Just be direct and confident, Tony. She remembered your name. That says it all. She'll say yes.
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"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right." - Henry Ford
"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw
Oh man and you are surprised she is single?? Guys probably do this same thing all the time concerning her and then never approach her. So quit being a chinken and get in there and ask the woman out. Do you guys really do this all the time or just when the chicks are really hot? I'm confused!
All the time.
If a girl smiles at me, she's...
A. Laughing at me.
B. Laughing at something on me.
C. Looking at the clock behind me.
D. Placating me, like you would a homeless person who you wanted to get away from before they asked you for money.
E. Thinking of the friends that they will later tell how they were trying not to laugh at me.
F. Thinking that smell is from me!
G. Looking at how I walk like a duck.
H. Wondering if I was the guy in the locker room hocking up phlegm so loudly that the aerobics room had to turn up the volume.
"Hi (fill in her name). I'm Tony, I work... Oh, you remember? Very cool. I'm actually on my way to (fill in activity)... too bad we're always seeing each other in passing like this... What do you think about grabbing some coffee some time?"
Friendly, casual, straight to the point... then you move on to your "activity".
My turn at romantic advice.....
I might as well throw myself in the fire as well.
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