Here lately I noticed a few things. I do not have a problem with a single person nor do I feel that anyone has the same feelings towards me.
But I have noticed that there is quiet a bit of "Gay Bashing". Im not gay but i do have gay/les friends. Who is to say that Being gay or straight is any business of another persons? If someone likes to talk about their sexuality its fine its human everyone likes to talk about themselves. Its always Me! Me! Me! ok enough about ME so tell Me what you think about ME.
Its only human.
I know times change as well as other things; but here lately it doesnt seem like we are here to give honest advice, but we look at the person and make rude comments back to a person who posted a comment but not to the person who asked for the advice.
Why cant we follow the rule our momma's taught us. If we dont have something nice to say, DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!
Some of us know each other a bit more like me and gina love ya girl!
And we can comment on each other about things, But i dont post them on the forum for this simple reason. OTHERS MAY NOT KNOW HOW WELL WE KNOW EACH OTHER. And they might take it offensive.
I have seen good people on this forum disappear because of how negative it has been. Im not saying names and I wont either.
I would just like for us to be a little bit more friendly towards NEW people and the OLD ones yes even nice to Mahler (geez who likes that old man anyway! temp was soo much cooler:p )
:P all of these faces are fun lets use them and have a good time with our comments and keep to mind there are real people on the other side of that screen.
This is something i try to work on daily in life and on the forum.
I love this place I can get honest and true answers about relationships and daily things in life that people are scared to ask about in person (yes even snip snip)
Lets try to keep our comments true to heart and not bash someone for giving their true comment to the person who asked.
If you feel you cannot give help with out sounding hateful then dont.
Maybe im just sounding bitchy and emotional. But i hate to see that the OT sub forum is going in the same direction and other parts of the JP forum.
I really don't like your use of the word OLD. Is it not offensive too?
You are asking people not to tell the whole truth, but claiming that one of the things that you like here is the honesty you can get? To me that doesn't make sense. Either you want honesty or you don't, simple as that. You can't hide yourself from reality if you want honesty.
Quote:
Lets try to keep our comments true to heart and not bash someone for giving their true comment to the person who asked.
So we can only be honest and truthful and expect not to get bashed if we agree with you?
But maybe I shouldn't type this because it someone could interpret it as hateful IF THEY WANTED TO. And you told me not to. I guess I will just keep my fingers still so that I never have the possibility of offending anyone on here again. If you areen't going to provide examples of what you find unacceptable, I see that as the only solution.
If someone interprets this message as anti-gay, you are a moron!
I don't appreshate gay bashing, but if for some reason I were to ask someone if they liked gays, I would want an honest answer. Not a hippy avoidance of the issue. But I cleary don't follow this board as much as you, because I havent seen any of it.
I agree that everyone should be courteous and respectful, but I haven't even noticed any "gay bashing." In fact, I recall seeing some pretty open and good-natured threads recently about homosexuality. From what I've seen, this is a pretty comfortable forum to discuss all sorts of issues with levelheaded and tolerant people that calm people down when they become disrespectful.
There was another thread started by Lost Dog about being hit on at the gym, but I thought it was pretty straight (pardon the pun)
I think this site does a great job in policing itself about situations like this. Chera, can you post links to what you are referring to? You have my curiosity wondering.....
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The only thing that I've seen that could be taken as derogatory is the use of the word "gay" as a derogatory term. i.e., "that's gay" instead of "that's dumb." Is that what you mean?
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The gay bashing part had to do with the something that happened awhile ago.
Just from conversation(phone) with some folks from the forum. Here lately we have been fine with the whole gay thing.
Flyn:
I haven't seen the bashing either, unless you call this bashing.
There was another thread started by Lost Dog about being hit on at the gym, but I thought it was pretty straight (pardon the pun)
That was fun and games no harm no foul... Even i participated in that. thats not what i ment Even BFG participated loves ya BFG!!
Now here we go.
"I really don't like your use of the word OLD. Is it not offensive too?" Notice the Smiley and the :P It was used in fun as what i was trying to get across. Not old in age but old as in an older member of the forum compared to the newer ones that join. Or was that sarcasim? Smileys help when being sarcastic :P
I already posted that i will not list names and point fingers. Im just doing this as a reminder. It seems like were jumping down peoples throats. (as mine for posting this)
"So we can only be honest and truthful and expect not to get bashed if we agree with you?"
Im saying this. Comment to the person who asked of the advice, not to someone who has different view then you. (sure we agree with some and not with others) But post your views (for or against) BUT not yours against someone elses advice. (we do a pretty good job of that but every now and then) If you agree great if you dont, dont try to mock the other while posting yours.
You just took this the wrong way buk.
I guess im wrong and you right then? I ask for a simple thing ... just to be a little bit nicer.
But instead i get slammed back? Im not offended. But it turns into a debate to quickly. This is the OT not the CE.
MY point was not so much as the gay bashing but as an example. Im asking for us to be a little bit more polite.
Well i guess this was great way of me being a bit more nice huh..
Instead i offended few and prob more between the time this gets read.
I have not seen any gay bashing. Yeah a few of the guys give each other a hard time and call them gay just to give them shit, but that is about it. Not sure what you saw, but I don't see a problem with that.
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Im saying this. Comment to the person who asked of the advice, not to someone who has different view then you. (sure we agree with some and not with others) But post your views (for or against) BUT not yours against someone elses advice. (we do a pretty good job of that but every now and then) If you agree great if you dont, dont try to mock the other while posting yours.
I don't really see disagreements as a bad thing, Chera. There are so many people from so many walks of life in here that you're going to get lots of different opinions and points of view on every topic. That's actually one of the reasons that I like posting here. I think disagreements make for some of the most interesting and educational threads here. I've got no problem with stating a different point of view as someone else. And I don't really see differing viewpoints as something that detracts from the overall harmony of the forum. Sometimes a disagreement or different point of view is just the right kind of personalization that makes JP's forums so interesting.
You do bring up good points about disrespect. I don't see a lot of it in here, but I agree that it's unnecessary. You're right. In general, we should be (and are) a respectful group. If someone feels disrespected by another person, turn the other cheek, pm a mod, or pm the person and work it out.
Sometimes this group absolutely floors me with its compassion and benevolence, and other times we can be callous and insensitive. Sometimes we are brutally honest when it is necessary (maybe even when it isn't completely necessary), and sarcastic always. You have to look at the group as a whole though, and my observation is that we are a very close-knit group who deeply cares about every member of this little community. Like any person, this group has its gifts as well as flaws. It is... imperfect. Just like each one of us.
Don't let anyone get you down Chera. You are an important part of this group and you have developed some real friendships in here. As the old saying goes, don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
I haven't seen any gay bashing either, and I've been around a lot more often as of recently. Actually I've been (as I always have been) really impressed with how nice everyone is to eachother here.
If this happened in a phone conversation, why are you generalizing your message here? Why not just pm that person and ask them to cut it out?
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Im asking this of all of us.
love ya girl!
:P 
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