I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no
need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some
ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in
line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40. Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I
don't believe you are over 21". The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested t he robber two hours later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him
unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40. Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
That guy was more clever than stupid. The cops were funny, too.
i agree, that number four was pretty good. actually, in some cities *cough*charlotte, nc*cough* those cameras aren't working. they're up but they're not allowed to take pictures or send tickets.
i agree, that number four was pretty good. actually, in some cities *cough*charlotte, nc*cough* those cameras aren't working. they're up but they're not allowed to take pictures or send tickets.
They probably don't take pictures because no one can speed in Charlotte due to the damn traffic.
__________________ Yankee by Birth, Rebel by Choice
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in
line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Poor guy. He was probably just trying to get some money to feed his three little children. He was poor because he couldn't get a job. He couldn't get a job because he couldn't read and write. He couldn't read and write because he grew up poor too, and had to work to help pay rent, so he couldn't go to school. Because he couldn't go to school he was never properly educated. Because of his lack of education, he lacked the ability to think critically. Because of that he was fooled by a simple trick a clever little bank teller played on him. Now he's in jail, and his three little children have to live with their neighbour, a 60 year old woman who owns 6 cats, one for every decade she's lived. She's deaf, and partially blind. She'll eventually mistake the children for cats, and only feed them milk and tuna. She'll keep the door locked so the cats can't escape, keeping the children from attending school. So they'll grow up to be just like their father. Maybe they'll meet one day in prison, and they'll try to reminisce but the children will only be able to meow and so the father won't be able to understand them and...
And I'm spent.
__________________
And major action will certainly make you feel a bit uncomfortable, which is absolutely fine. You've gotta get excited about feeling uncomfortable, you've gotta love feeling slightly uncomfortable, because you know that you're stepping outside the boundaries that you used to create.
Zach Even-Esh
I've made some huge mistakes, but they were necessary, because without them I wouldn't have learned anything.
-Dave Tate
Poor guy. He was probably just trying to get some money to feed his three little children. He was poor because he couldn't get a job. He couldn't get a job because he couldn't read and write. He couldn't read and write because he grew up poor too, and had to work to help pay rent, so he couldn't go to school. Because he couldn't go to school he was never properly educated. Because of his lack of education, he lacked the ability to think critically. Because of that he was fooled by a simple trick a clever little bank teller played on him. Now he's in jail, and his three little children have to live with their neighbour, a 60 year old woman who owns 6 cats, one for every decade she's lived. She's deaf, and partially blind. She'll eventually mistake the children for cats, and only feed them milk and tuna. She'll keep the door locked so the cats can't escape, keeping the children from attending school. So they'll grow up to be just like their father. Maybe they'll meet one day in prison, and they'll try to reminisce but the children will only be able to meow and so the father won't be able to understand them and...
And I'm spent.
No, you're just a Democrat.
__________________ In Fitness & Friendship, MAHLER
______________________________ __________________________ There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You carry the light with you.
to funny to not share
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