Recipe Ideas...
The World's Easiest Gourmet Meal
1 - 2 pound package 30% fat hamburger
1 - bottle Bleu Cheese Salad dressing
1 - package frozen vegetable
1 - large potato
Set the oven to 400 degrees and put the spud in.
Wait an hour. Have a few. Smoke some. Don't forget.
Cut the meat in half and put into a hot pan. Wait until it starts smoking and turn it over.
Put the vegetables in a bowl and nuke 'em until they are done.
Pull the spud out, cut it open and dump a bunch of butter in it. Put it on a plate. Pour the veggies on the plate and put some butter on them too. Put the meat next and then pour the bleu cheese dressing on it.
Paper plates and plastic utensils will save cleanup time.
If you wish to entertain, buy two potatoes, cut the meat in half and make sure your laundry is done, your sheets (?) are clean and you put the cat/dog out. Remember - nothing will sour an elegant evening of fine dining and intimacy more than forgetting to put the toilet seat down. Unless of course, it's leaving your front door unlocked and having a bunch of crackheads decide to choose YOU to be the lucky recipient of the 'Rip Off House o' the Day'. Maybe they left the door ajar and your Rottweiler gets back in. He starts barking and chewing and the crackheads flee for their lives, vacating the premises post haste. One guy trips on the lawn furniture and starts screaming. The neighbors call 911 and the cops are there faster'n a Dominoes pizza and start wrapping the whole place with that yellow CRIME SCENE tape you see on TV. Some flat-footed nerd with a pen protector in his gun holster starts asking you questions and you're in your underwear. Then the damned dog bites him on the ass and now they're deciding whether or not to haul your ass away for having a dog that bites cops. The ambulance driver that came for that sorry bastard that tripped is trying to get YOU to sign for his transportation to the emergency room and the guy is screaming out of the back of the ambulance - I AM GONNA SUE!!!. Then the automatic lawn sprinkler system comes on and the cat goes apeshit and claws her way up the face of the cop who's doing the crime reports. He rips the damned cat from his face, pulls out his Glock and put 8 rounds in it and screams MY BROTHER IN LAW IS A LAWYER!!! Next thing you know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Only it's the local TV station feeding the whole thing up to a satellite and you are gonna be worldwide and you are still in your underwear. The Dominoes pizza guy happens to drive by, stops and hands you his card.
'We Deliver'
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*** Today's mighty oak was once just some nut who held his ground! With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another.
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