I'm in the hospital med/surg family waiting room as I write this.
Mrs Colonel is about to pass away after being found unresponsive by my middle daughter on Wed. We know it wasn't a heart attack or stroke but beyond that we don't know, but she been in a coma since she was found. since my eldest works at the hospital they ran the code longer than they should have to try to save her, and maybe we should have not done so much as she felt she had accomplished all she could.
As most of you more senior members know she's battled depression and severe back pain for a long time and we hope she may finally finding peace. Shes only 58 but her parts are much older.
The Dr has painted a dark picture all along so the 1 brite spot is that we are talking to the transplant cooindator to see if she can donate anything.
As a nurse she was always trying to help people so she would be pleased. Our nephew who died of suicide 4 years ago today donated and Elaine was very pleased he could help others.
Most of you are younger than we are, but a health proxy, stating your wishes are so important. For as long she bugged me to sign one, it appears she doesn't have one herself. Fortunalty the kids and I all know what her wishes are/were and we are all in total agreement.
In all my 'visions' of myself and my life, I've never pictured myself as a widower. she was a much better wife than I was a husband and I may be haunted by that thought.
You guys and girls are like an extended family and this is a tough message but I needed to share it. pray that shes at peace, that she can donate and that until she passes shes in no pain. (they assure us shes not but how can we be sure?).
Elaine was a big beleiver in the circle of life, someone dies, someone is born. Ironically on Tues our youngest told us she was pregnant. I'll admit I'm a little jealous as she gets to meet the new baby in heaven before it comes in July.
Tears are coming so I can't see what I'm doing,
Alan
Alan, I am so sorry to hear about this. My prayers are with you and your family as you go through this very difficult time. Rest assured that your JPF family will be with you.
Rob
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That is so shocking, my sincerest thoughts are with you and your family and I wish you strength in the thought that your wife will find peace and that you have a good loving family around you to cherish her memory and keep this alive
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BFG
"The time for talking has passed, actions are speaking louder than words."
Alan, thanks for taking a moment to fill us in during this difficult time. My sincere condolences to you and your family and please know you are in our thoughts.
Holy carp, Alan! This is terrible news. You and your entire family are in our prayers and thoughts. Please know that your extended internet family is here to support you in any way we can.
Stay strong, brother.
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Alan,
My best wishes and deepest condolences to you and your family. My prayers will be with you and the family during this time. If there is anything you need, or anything I can do, you know how to find me.
I know we've spoken over the phone, but I wanted to leave you a note here as well.
Please don't ever feel haunted (or regretful) about your actions as a husband and a father. As a personal friend, I've gotten to know you beyond these message boards, and can honestly say that you have been an unbelievable husband and father to your family. You work hard, you care, you're giving, and you always put everyone else ahead of yourself. Take pride in that.
Like I said before, I'm here for you man. Just a few minutes away....any night of the week is fine, even if it's a short meeting at the Y to squat or bench!
I am very sorry for your loss, Alan. I pray that you and your family can use this time to reflect on what Elaine meant to your lives, and that perhaps this event will draw you all closer together.
Alan,
Mike has been keeping me posted behind the scenes. You and I stared out together on MH and have known each other over the internet for a long time. Please know that Elaine, as well as you and your familiy, are in my prayers.
From the Mahler, Symphony No. 2 - "Resurrection"
"In fervent love I will soar to the light no eye has seen."
Peace, my friend.
__________________ In Fitness & Friendship, MAHLER
______________________________ __________________________ There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You carry the light with you.
Hi Alan,
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I know it's been said but please let us know if we can do anything.
gina
Regret is a very common feeling when something like this happens, but remember that she knows you love her. That is all that really matters. God bless.
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"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."
- Christopher Reeve
I can't imagine what the past 48 hours have been like for you. Your JPF family is there with you in spirit and grieves beside you with an arm around your shoulder.
__________________ Megaloi -- My Blog
"Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."
- Mignon McLaughlin
Alan,
I am practically speechless reading this. You have to know that your wife knows you love her. You are with her right to the end, and a wife couldn't get it any better than that. No regrets my friend... Grieve her death and celebrate her life.
Your extended family is obviously with you. I can certainly understand under the circumstances why we haven't seen more of you recently. I hope you know that we are all here for you.
I'll be praying for you and your family. I am sure it comforted her knowing that you are there for the kids and other family, especially the newest addition that is coming.
You have my profound condolences. Be comforted that she has gone to a better place and is at peace.
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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -- Sidney J. Harris
URGENT!!! Please read this
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