My two best friends and I put together tons of them in high school just for shits and giggles, and we got some priceless reactions.
Two favorites:
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If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
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Guy: (to girl) My watch can speak to me--it says some interesting stuff.
Girl: Oh yea?
Guy: Yea... oh wait it's saying something right now. (Listening to the watch as if it's whispering in his ear).
Guy: It says you're not wearing any underwear. Is that true?
Girl: Uh, no... I'm wearing underwear!
Guy: (Tapping the watch as if it's broken, then looking surprised) Oh my mistake, this watch is about 15 minutes fast. (Add a wink for effect)
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Both get plenty of laughs, though the second one is much more tactful while still being funny. It really helps to break the ice when you're talking to a new girl for the first time.
One time we pulled up next to a couple hot chicks at a stop light and I asked them out the window, "If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?"
They laughed, rolled up their window, looked at each other, and then rolled the window back down and responded... "what if I don't have a hole"
Needless to say, we drove off fairly quickly
__________________ You're not the only one improving yourself... I worked out with a dumbbell today -- I feel vigorous!!!
I've used a couple of these and a couple I'm lifting from friends. I'm not saying which ones I've used.
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Him: I'm different from most guys.
Her: How's that?
Him: Most guys are intimidated by a girl with a big ass because - on the chance that they actually get to have doggystyle sex with her - it makes their penis look small. But you don't intimidate me.
Do you have an overdue library books? 'cause you've got "FINE" stamped all over you!
Let's say we cut to the chase and I go get a restraining order against you.
The word of the day is "legs". Now let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Him: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Him: When you fell from heaven.
You're an attractive woman and I'd like to spend some time with you in order to find out if you're as interesting and engaging as I suspect. No? Ok, then...how about a hummer in the alley?
(Walking up to a gaggle of women on some sort of "ladies' night out") Ladies, ladies...one at a time, please.
__________________
"Why do I keep going to the gym? Because I have cultivated this inner psychotic voice that laughs at me and the end of each and every set. It tells me I'm weak. It tells me I'm soft. It tells me I've been weak and soft all my life. And after it berates me for a good 60 seconds, I tell the voice to get bent because I'm busy getting stronger." - Me, in response to a co-worker asking me why I keep dragging myself to the gym
I dont think anyone ever uses these, it would be halarious to see though!
I usually just say Hi and go from there. After living in university residence with something like a 4:1 ratio of girls to guys (This sounds alot better then it actually is TRUST ME) Ive learned that most girls just would want you to talk to them, no lines.
The 'may I buy you a drink' one is bad! If she says yes you are down a few dollars and if she says no you feel like a loser because a girl wont even take a free drink from you! haha.
Ask for a drink. Works better and is unexpected haha.
I don't think so. I've never known a guy who actually picked up a girl using a line. At most, they get a laugh and start a conversation. Which might lead to something on its own, I suppose.
However, I did witness a friend sort of pick up a girl with a line. Although it was not really a good pickup line per se. I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like...
Him: "Hey there. Look, it's 1:00 am, we're both a little tired, a little drunk and I'm betting you're at least a little turned on from all the guys hitting on you all night. I'm a safe, attractive guy. I'll pay for a cab, we can chat on the way to my place and if you don't like the looks of it you can just leave. Sound fair?"
Her: *stunned silence turning to sly grin* "Sure does."
One of the few times I've ever been in a bar. Makes me wonder if that kind of thing happens a lot more often.
__________________
"Why do I keep going to the gym? Because I have cultivated this inner psychotic voice that laughs at me and the end of each and every set. It tells me I'm weak. It tells me I'm soft. It tells me I've been weak and soft all my life. And after it berates me for a good 60 seconds, I tell the voice to get bent because I'm busy getting stronger." - Me, in response to a co-worker asking me why I keep dragging myself to the gym
Pickup lines.
for effect)
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