Ok, so you are 23 years old, single. Twice in the past few years, close male friends have tried to move things forward to "something more" (verbally, not physically). You rejected them both.
Now, another close male friend, 6 years older than you (and the other guys), sends you flowers on Valentine's Day. You text message him a THANK YOU!!! but don't answer the phone when he calls later that night. The next day, you:
(a) Want to be left alone to "think things over".
(b) Want a call from him so you can clarify what's going on.
(c) Want an email from him, because you're at work and don't want to have to be put on the spot.
(d) Will call him soon, on your own time.
*Disclaimer: I know there is no way for you all to know what's in her head. I'm just blowing off steam and attempting to MAYBE get a little glimmer of understanding. Thanks! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
Since she text-messaged you.. you could text-message her back.. saying you'd like to talk to her on the phone and asking when would be the best time that you call her?
Did you happen to watch the chick flick, "Kate and Leopold"? It was actually decent for a chick flick. (If it hadn't have had the time travel aspect to it for a little sci-fi effect it would have probably been too chick-flicky for me).
Anyway, the advice that the lead guy gave to his young friend was to not appear desperate by not being desperate, and to "keep the ball in your court." Confidence is the most attractive trait you can display. Not suggesting that you play games with her. When you talk, do so with sincerity and honesty, and as Pete suggested, take that risk of expressing your intentions/affections.
Sounds like it has already resolved itself. Either way, best of luck to ya!
A guy sent you flowers on valentine's day, and this has happened to you two other times already? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
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A guy sent you flowers on valentine's day, and this has happened to you two other times already? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
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Sensative men are ok with getting flowers, you big brute!!!
Hmmmm, I think she must really be on the "I think you're great to hang out with but I'm just not that into you" state or she's scared spitless of you. At 23, a 6 year age difference can seem big to some people-she may be worried that she is not mature enough for you or vice versa if she feels she is the one mature for her age. This is all conjecture of course, not knowing either one of you. That being said, a woman who doesn't appreciate a show of affection from a friend OR a potential friend with benefits isn't worth it in the long run. Period. I would have liked flowers for V-day, or B-day or any day. You tried to make them as "un romantic" but affectionate as you could, you went out of your way to do something nice for her and whether or not she likes you "like that" it should be appreciated. It is extremely difficult when the chemistry is one sided but give her a chance to mellow. Girls are stupid about love (or banging as the case may be)too. As one gets older, we usually realize that we should have treated the nice ones better because those nice ones get walked all over until they are doormats and then we don't like them cause they're wusses.
Flowers can be a big deal-I got flowers on a second date once and even though I got dumped unceremoniosly-I still remember the flowers made the dumping worth it...maybe cause I wasn't that into him but the flowers were beautiful!?
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Hmmmm, I think she must really be on the "I think you're great to hang out with but I'm just not that into you" state or she's scared spitless of you. At 23, a 6 year age difference can seem big to some people-she may be worried that she is not mature enough for you or vice versa if she feels she is the one mature for her age. This is all conjecture of course, not knowing either one of you. That being said, a woman who doesn't appreciate a show of affection from a friend OR a potential friend with benefits isn't worth it in the long run. Period. I would have liked flowers for V-day, or B-day or any day. You tried to make them as "un romantic" but affectionate as you could, you went out of your way to do something nice for her and whether or not she likes you "like that" it should be appreciated. It is extremely difficult when the chemistry is one sided but give her a chance to mellow. Girls are stupid about love (or banging as the case may be)too. As one gets older, we usually realize that we should have treated the nice ones better because those nice ones get walked all over until they are doormats and then we don't like them cause they're wusses.
Flowers can be a big deal-I got flowers on a second date once and even though I got dumped unceremoniosly-I still remember the flowers made the dumping worth it...maybe cause I wasn't that into him but the flowers were beautiful!?
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Further proof that women have no idea what they want [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
We know exactly what we want shark, the problem is we keep accepting what we don't want and then try to MAKE it what we do want hahahaha
I think both these threads just go to show that men think about this stuff more than girls think they do AND flowers are still intended as an avenue to de-pantsing. bedonkadonk ruff [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] of course as Bond pointed out, that all changes once you've bought the cow. You don't go to that much trouble for the cow unless she stops giving milk, then you HAVE to feed her. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
Once again, I'm old enough to have learned a few lessons. I'm not surprised at all about the amount of thought, and response the whole "what flowers send the right message" got. And I know you would never do this Master Sharky, but sometimes men tend to forget to KEEP doing that kind of crap, and sometimes they don't. Damn I need a new avatar. Something more girly to fit my Queen of Bitchiness motif? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
If it was me at 23 and you were JP, I would have given the same response as she did. Guys scared me to death, I had no experience with them and didn't trust them at all. If JP wasn't persistent, I would be unmarried with no friends. Confidence is very attractive.
a six year age difference is HUGE. she may be worried that you're ready to settle down and she wants to go out and have fun. i don't understand her lackluster reaction to the flowers though. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]
Take it easy RH.. Let her take her time to come to terms with her feelings. When she is comfortable with the prospect of being with you she will surely send sings, IMO. I don't agree with Peter [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I would say relax and watch for the right signs. I would say one thing though. Don't make yourself seem too available. Women of 23 like to go for things which seem more out of reach.
I would say that she always viewed you as a friend but perhaps she has thought about it being more and thought that you would never ask.
Now she is weighing up all the things she may have told you as a friend and thinking heck he knows alot about what makes me tick and now she's facing the reality and arguing with herself if she wants this and maybe will she lose a friend in the process. After all who's she gonna bitch to about you when ya leave the toilet seat up every time!
Not saying thats the case just tryiing to give another perspective
You've layed your cards out to her now give her space but dont hang around forever if she doesnt come back on it then walk away with your dignity intact
well my two cents quickly bc I just got off a 18 hour day... my ex was 11 years older than me, I was terrified to go out with him but he presisted. and though things turned out very badly and I left after twelve years I would say be patient and keep showing her you are into her. If she is into you she'll let you know. (the badly thing was bc he was abusive so don't mind that part) I don't think age is a big deal but at 23 guys are scarey hell at 31 they are too..be gently persistant..and good luck [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
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Ok, so you are 23 years old, single. Twice in the past few years, close male friends have tried to move things forward to "something more" (verbally, not physically). You rejected them both.
Now, another close male friend, 6 years older than you (and the other guys), sends you flowers on Valentine's Day. You text message him a THANK YOU!!! but don't answer the phone when he calls later that night. The next day, you:
(a) Want to be left alone to "think things over".
(b) Want a call from him so you can clarify what's going on.
(c) Want an email from him, because you're at work and don't want to have to be put on the spot.
(d) Will call him soon, on your own time.
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OOOOOOoooooohhhhhhhh, you don't mean they were calling YOU!!!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] I thought maybe you were thinking of taking up sheep ranching... [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] not that there's anything wrong with that! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
I haven't seen all the other threads but a couple more comments. I NEVER give flowers when they are expected, as in V-Day. I always wait until they are totally NOT expected. Six years difference in age being significant depends on how old you are, in large part. My wife is 5 1/2 years older but it ain't no big deal.
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies: A little help please!
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