Ok so here is the situation. My boyfriend(Jeff) of 2yrs. and I are taking a break b/c of some problems that we have been having. Well, before we took our break I have a good guy friend(Jason) that has been there for me through a lot of stuff. So, before my boyfriend and I even started to date Jason and I had feelings for eachother. But things just didn't workout so we went our seperate ways but almost all through mine and Jeff's relationship Jason and I had talked to eachother and always asked what it would be like if we were to be together.
So now that Jeff and I are taking a break Jason and I have been hanging out and having a good time. And now I am wanting to start a relationship with Jason but it is extremely hard to let go of Jeff. I know in my heart that Jeff and I would have problems throughout the rest of our relationship and Jason and I get along quite well.
Come clean. Be honorable and "break off with your boyfriend "Jeff" before you start anything with the new up and coming "Jason".
You are still young and it is likely you will have several more boyfriends/relationships, etc. Get in the habit of treating your formers decently, respectfully and honetly.
After 2 years, Jeff deserves at least that much. What would you like Jeff to do if the situation were reversed? Good luck with "Jason" .
Peter
__________________
Peter
After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend…
Your first post is a relationship question?? Seems a bit strange for a fitness forum.
__________________
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."
- Christopher Reeve
__________________
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."
- Christopher Reeve
Ditto, I'm gonna go with Fishy. Makes little sense to jump out of one and straight into another.
Og.
__________________ 2009: No races, No times. Slow year. So, now you're 96 cals short. You're now in starvation mode. Doomed. - LostDog
Blog entry: November 1, 2009, Pancakes LiveSTRONG daily plate log
For future reference, having a boyfriend for two years and keeping a guy on the side that you continually talk about 'what if we dated' is a really poor idea.
On the other hand, I hear the drive to DC isn't that bad this time of year
Remember the grass is always greener on the other side right? then you get to the other side and you found out it might have been greener where you were? take your break, keep your friends, find yourself, and see what happens. the problem is you can see your current boyfriends problems and you cannot see this other guys problems just yet. but not to worry everyone I know has flaws and they will eventually come out. the question is how tolerant are you of those flaws. Someone, probably a coach once told me the worst place to be is in the middle. you are either in or you are out. no in betweens. you are either fully committed or you have nothing. so, ask yourself what your current level of commitment is if it's not a 10 on a scale of 10 get out of it;
__________________
Fool give wife grand piano,wise man give wife upright organ.
The highway is for gamblers, better use your sins
Take what you have gathered from coincidence
The empty-handed painter from your streets
Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets
This sky too, is folding under you
And it's all over now, baby blue.
All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home
All your reindeer armies, are all going home
The lover who just walked out your door
Has taken all his blankets from the floor
The carpet too, is moving under you
And it's all over now, baby blue.
Leave your stepping stones behind, someone calls for you
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
Strike another match, go start anew
And it's all over now, baby blue.
You should completely break it off with Jeff before you start messing around with Jason. Like Peter said above it's the least you could do after 2 years. I would just like to add that Jason didn't just hang around for 2 years for nothing, he was looking for an opportunity.
Jennifer! (That's my daughters' name,BTW) I know it's a cliche' and almost impossible to do if you have one! But don't let your heart rule your mind! I know, famous last words These guys are right on. Step back, look at everything, and do what you really want to do, but do it for yourself!
__________________
"I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch!" Stewie Griffin
__________________
"The strongest steel goes through the hottest fires."-Anonymous
"When you begin to believe nothing is heavy, all weights become light." -Rossbow
"Just remember, somewhere there is a little Chinese girl warming up with your max."-Jim Convroy
"It's a round hole, dammit. Everyone fits."--Anonymous Mod at Strengthmill
ok so me and jen are best of best friends... and she is an awesome girl.
Now her bf*Jeff.... he really means to do good, but he isnt good for her. He is very irresponsible in my eyes and selfish. I cannot recall a time where he would offer to treat her to lunch or dinner unless she asked him to and then he would get upset over it. I dont see how he doesnt have the "time or money" when he can afford to go bowling at least 2 times a week. And its not like he only goes for an hour or so either. He manipulates her words and lives two steps behind her. He wont take her out or take her anywhere but would get upset if she would go out with her friends.. EXAMPLE..... it was my other friends bday and we wanted to take her clubbing, of course i asked jen to go but the only way her Bf would be ok with it is if he went with her. He threw the line i dont trust the other guys and so it wasnt a problem i didnt care if he came or not as long as we would have fun. But the whole time he wouldnt let go of her let her dance with anyone else and wouldnt let her be herself or even smile once... what a drag he was but eh thats just him sometimes.
Now i do know this jen does love him and he does love her. But it isnt a healthy relationship. She is a very entergetic girl, extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaamly pretty and has a wonderful personality. She doesnt smoke rarely ever drinks and doesnt tollerate drugs. She also has her goals ahead of her and persues life with the most optimistic view. With all that said you guys can see how soft and big of a heart she has. Her personality has been drained the past two years because of this bf* He always looks for the negative and never praises her or compliments her. A simple wow you look beautiful to a girl can last a day or two but not saying something like that for a long time eh you know has its downfall.
So Jason her long time friend. What an awesome guy! But he doesnt persue a girl, his theory like many men if she really wants me she will say something. I am friends of all of them JaSON JEFF and jenjen.... even though im am the least fond of jeff because he cant stand up and be a man.... anyway back to jason. He is a very handsome guy and takes care of his needs and the needs of the one who he is with. He doesnt always put him self first and refuses to let a girl pay for her meal.... awwwwwww..... but anyway. Jason and jen are best friends to, they went to each other with every problem of every relationship. He knows her best(not as good as me) but best out of the guys.
To make things a bit more clear. Jen and Jeff have been broken up for at least 3-4 weeks. This isnt a BREAK its a BREAK UP... but now that jeff knows he lost jen he is trying his hardest. This isnt the first time they broke up. Everytime they break up he starts to take her out. It takes a break up for him to realise that he had a WONDERFUL gf and now he lost her, so he trys to win her back. BUT WHEN HE DOES... he goes right back to the looser (in my eyes) he was when they were in the situation from before. She has given jeff plenty of chances and plenty of chances upon 3rd chances... He just doesnt get it. He has a quick temper, bad habits, and rude comments, which he doesnt care on how it would affect others.
I believe jen and jason should be together, right now may not be best of times... but at least they got their feelings out for real this time. In the past when they told each other how they felt one was always in a relationship it would of been jen of jason that was in the relationship. anyway... thought that might clear somethings up and im helping her the best i could.
i also told her that since this site is mostly dominated by men older our age and been through somethings we havent she would get the best point of view from a guy here.
so start loading her up with advice fellas and it doesnt hurt to be honest it only helps.
Jen, don't date either of these guys. don't take this the wrong way, but, in Chera's words, you're pretty, got a great personality, and got your eyes set on your future, but, it seems you lack self confidence and self-esteem. why do i say that? because you spent this amount of time with this jeff character. bottom line, he's an a-hole, plain and simple. seems to me that you were just staying with him because you wanted to be with someone. jason? don't waste your time right now.
stop dating, focus on yourself, hang out with your girlfriends, travel, and stop taking life seriously right now. this will only build your confidence, your self-esteem, and all that other good stuff. don't rush it. once you build that confidence, you'll be able to see bullshit a mile away and you won't even want to bother putting up with it. as a line from a movie i saw a few weeks ago "it's better to be alone for all the right reasons, than to be with someone for all the wrong reasons."
__________________
"Don't ever think you have got it figured out!"
-Lee Taft
Originally posted by Chera: But he doesnt persue a girl, his theory like many men if she really wants me she will say something.
I've known guys like that. I used to be a guy like that. Until he figures out the she's worth putting forth an effort for, he should be allowed to wallow in his own timidity.
I just read this for the first time today, and I'm in the exact situation.. as Jason. My ex girlfriend just broke up with her boyfriend who was a complete asshole and called her names and all that and anyway she's liked me the whole time and I've liked her and now that they broke up we're becoming close again. It's so funny that you posted this.
Anyway I can see people have given you advice already so I'll leave it at that. Good luck.
__________________
And major action will certainly make you feel a bit uncomfortable, which is absolutely fine. You've gotta get excited about feeling uncomfortable, you've gotta love feeling slightly uncomfortable, because you know that you're stepping outside the boundaries that you used to create.
Zach Even-Esh
I've made some huge mistakes, but they were necessary, because without them I wouldn't have learned anything.
-Dave Tate
These guys are right on. Step back, look at everything, and do what you really want to do, but do it for yourself!
Linear Mode
