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Old 04-14-2005, 04:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Q.
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Listen to this audio file

Transcript below

Burger King 911 Call
from WSJ link to dslreports ^

Posted on 04/01/2005 11:24:03 AM PST

But for those of you that need a bit of humor today here's the transcript. (you can find the audio at the above source link)

Dispatcher: Sheriff's department, how can I help you?

Woman: Yeah, I'm over here . . . I'm over here at Burger King right here in San Clemente.*

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Um, no, not San Clemente; I'm sorry, I live in San Clemente. I'm in Laguna Niguel, I think, that's where I'm at.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I'm at a drive-through right now.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I went . . . I ordered my food three times. They're mopping the floor inside, and I understand they're busy . . they're not even busy, okay, I've been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western Barbeque Burger. Okay, they keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and cheese, onions, and I said, "I'm not leaving . . ."

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I want a Western Burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do, they're hungry, I'm on my way home, and I live in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Okay . . . she said, she gave me another hamburger; it's wrong. I said four times, I said, "I want it to go. Can you go out and park in front?" I said, "No, I want my hamburger right." So then the . . . the lady came to the manager. She . . . well whoever she is, she came up and she said, um, she said, um, "Do you want your money back?" And I said, "No, I want my hamburger. My kids are hungry and I have to jump on that toll freeway." I said, "I am not leaving this spot," and I said, "I will call the police," because I want my Western Burger done right! Now is that so hard?

Dispatcher: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?

Woman: I . . . send an officer down here. I . . . I want them to make me . . .

Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Woman: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: This is . . . this is between you and the manager. We're not gonna go and enforce how to make a hamburger; that's not a criminal issue. There's . . . there's nothing criminal there.

Woman: So I just stand here . . . so I just sit here and [block]?

Dispatcher: You . . . you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out what to do between you.

Woman: She did come up, and I said, "Can I please have my Western Burger?" She . . . she said, "I'm not dealing with it," and she walked away. Because they're mopping the floor, and it's also the fact that they don't want to . . . they don't want to go through there . . and . . . and . . .

Dispatcher: Ma'am, then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This is . . this is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.

Woman: Well . . . that is . . . that . . . you're supposed to be here to protect me.

Dispatcher: Well, what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

Woman: No . . .

Dispatcher: Is this like . . . is this a harmful cheeseburger or something? I don't understand what you want us to do.

Woman: Just come down here. I'm not . . . I'm not leaving.

Dispatcher: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger. You need to go in there and act like an adult and either get your money back or go home.

Woman: She is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car; I just want them to make my kids a . . . a Western Burger.

Dispatcher: Ma'am, this is what I suggest: I suggest you get your money back from the manager and you go on your way home.

Woman: Okay.

Dispatcher: Okay? Bye-bye.

Woman: No....
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Old 04-14-2005, 04:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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That caller deserves a Darwin Award.
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Old 04-14-2005, 04:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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She would have had to choke on her Western Burger to get a Darwin.
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Old 04-14-2005, 04:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Or maybe if she got out of her car and went in, she would have slipped on the we floor and broken her neck to recieve her Darwin. Then the kids accidently put the car in drive and it goes soaring into a nearby ravine taking her most likely intellectually flawed offspring out of the gene pool too. Not that I would wish that on anyone [img]tongue.gif[/img] but she was pretty damn stupid. Maybe she had just taken one too many of her kids' ritalin that day.
Doesn't it make you feel sorry for the dispatchers who have to put up with crap like this every single day?
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Old 04-14-2005, 05:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 04-14-2005, 06:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i loved the reply to this on that site:

"Well after hearing this I beginning to believe the story that 911 (nine-one-one) was originally called nine-eleven, but changed when people complained they couldn't find the 11 on their phone."

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