How are you trying to put it on?
EDIT: I second nanook's decision. It will take about 2 seconds with a sewing machine, and if you don't have access to one, you can get fabric glue to glue it on. My mom had a sewing business, so I know just enough to get by about fabric and putting things on uniforms.
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Quoth David Banner: "Like a pimp"
It's not a beer belly. It's a gas tank for a sax machine.
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