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Old 06-14-2005, 11:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Ok, some of you may remember my post over at MH "Bonehead Move of The Day" where I explained my incident with chocolate protein powder on indoor/outdoor carpeting and my feeble attempt to clean it up while in the process making it look like I shat on the floor.

Well......I had a similar event this morning.


I keep a fridge in my office usually filled with Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Code Red. Also, as a little background, I drink a considerable amount of this soda as well as quite a bit of water throughout the day. I make no secret of my constant urges to pee. I'm talking about I'm in the middle of a meeting and immediately stand up announcing that I'll be right back -- I've got to PEE! Everyone seems to have accepted this little quirk about me and no one really thinks much about it anymore.

Well, yesterday, I ran out of soda so I stopped at the grocery store this morning to pick up some more Dew and Code Red. I set the cases on the floor outside my office door as I'm unlocking my office. When I pick the case of Dew I notice a "puddle" on the WHITE limoleum floor, but didn't think much of it. I took the cases of soda into my office and set them next to my fridge. I immediately got busy with some phone calls and meetings and didn't get a chance to fill up the fridge until just recently when I notice a HUGE slightly yellow puddle next to my fridge. I suddenly realize that one of the cans of Dew has sprung a leak, so I work quickly to get all the good cans in the fridge and crush the boxes. I look in my closet for my trusty paper towels and find that I'm out. So, I run out of my office toward the bathroom where we keep our supply of paper towels.

IN THE MEANTIME, we're having employee meetings in the Development Center which is RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY OFFICE. And, I inadvertently left my office door open.

I came rushing back to my office only to find a crowd of people hovering around my door and laughing. I push through the crowd only to discover that they're thinking that "I had to PEE" and didn't make it to the bathroom in time as they've also noticed the "yellow puddle" outside my office as well. I no sooner get into my office to try to clean up my "DEW", turn around to the crowd to try and "shoo" them away, when they break out into some kind of uproarious laughter. I look around to see what they're laughing at when I realize that in my haste to get the "Dew" in the fridge that I must have spilled some on my crotch.

Will I ever live this one down???

God help me!!!!!!
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Old 06-14-2005, 11:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Bond- that one is just as good as your protein spill.

Absolutely hillarious!!
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Old 06-14-2005, 11:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
I look around to see what they're laughing at when I realize that in my haste to get the "Dew" in the fridge that I must have spilled some on my crotch.
Yeah, yeah, a likely story.
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Old 06-14-2005, 11:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I've got one word for you, Bond:

Depends

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Old 06-14-2005, 11:49 AM   #5 (permalink)
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If it was Mountain Dew, at least they'll think you're taking vitimins.
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Old 06-14-2005, 11:55 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hilarious story, Bond - great follow-up to the chocolate protein spill saga, one of my faves! Maybe you should consider Diet 7-up - at least it's clear ...
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for your support, gang!!


I think.....
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You should be drinking water, anyway.
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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at least they didn't see you bending down and licking the Dew off the floor. that'd be tought to talk your way out of. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:31 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I forgot you are the one with the mess on the floor story.

2 great stories Bond. I love it. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 06-14-2005, 01:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/printsto.../front/3221547
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Old 06-14-2005, 02:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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At least it wasn't the code red....urinary track infection?

ps - DIET code red? Crap! I wish I could find that around here. I loved Code red back before I swore off sugar.
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Old 06-14-2005, 02:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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You gotta change your sig line to "Just doo the Dew!"
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jimbo:
At least it wasn't the code red....urinary track infection?

ps - DIET code red? Crap! I wish I could find that around here. I loved Code red back before I swore off sugar.
Yes, Diet Code Red and (actually) "Caffeine Free" Diet Mountain Dew. Check out WalMart. That's where I buy mine.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:37 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah, I know when I retold this story I would have definetely added in the Mountian Dew aspect.

Imagine peeing yourself at work, how embarassing.

So....

On the Mountain Dew line of though I was drinking a diet C+ and reading the ingredients list and I come across "Brominated Vegetable Oil". Apparently they use it as a stabilizing agent in citrus based beverages. Not alot of studies done right now, but you can bet that those of us who drink these beverages have more bromine stored in our fat than those of you who don't drink it.

Ugh.

Og.
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Old 06-14-2005, 05:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
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loool oh my goodness i should read this every time i feel down. TOOO CUTE!
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Old 06-14-2005, 09:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Bond

I am sorry but you have got to quit your job, move to another country. There is no other solution. I am at work now and if I do not move NOW I will pee in my pants because I am laughing to hard.

Peter
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Old 06-15-2005, 11:00 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Ok, so I'm thinkin' it's time for an update:

Apparently, my "little" fiasco from yesterday is pretty common knowledge around the office. I realized this when I was heading to the bathroom this morning for my first of many morning "pee breaks". The closest bathroom to me is a "one" use type of thing that accomodates both men and women for our little office area. I get to the bathroom at just about the same time as a woman I work with, so being the gentleman, I tell her to go first and I'll wait or go to another bathroom farther away. She starts to argue with me --

She says, "No, you go ahead."
I say, "No, ladies first."
She says, "I don't want one of your messes on my hands!!!"

And, she just walks away!!! I'm like WTF!!!

UGH!!!
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Old 06-15-2005, 11:25 AM   #19 (permalink)
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LOL, too funny. I would take Peter's advice - a new country is clearly required.

Why though did she think you'd mess on her hands?? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 06-15-2005, 11:39 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by K-Court:
Why though did she think you'd mess on her hands?? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
That's nasty...


...and hillarious.
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Old 06-15-2005, 12:00 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by plutes:
I am sorry but you have got to quit your job, move to another country. There is no other solution.
Um, ok. But, I'd first have to know what countries are represented in this forum so I can truly escape my reputation!
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Old 06-15-2005, 02:30 PM   #22 (permalink)
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How about the United States? Might be a welcome change from Arkansas...
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Old 06-15-2005, 04:24 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by FishrCutB8:
How about the United States? Might be a welcome change from Arkansas...
*sigh* If only Pickett hadn't charged.........
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Old 06-16-2005, 07:54 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Well, have they given you any nick names yet?

I would think that would really be the time to skip town!

Og.
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:06 AM   #25 (permalink)
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hilarious story Bond! I thought of you yesterday as condensation from my water bottle dripped on my leg and ran down it as I stood up. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:26 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ogedei:
Well, have they given you any nick names yet?

I would think that would really be the time to skip town!

Og.
Well, I've had a nickname since I was a few months old that seems to have stuck me MY WHOLE LIFE and also applies to both my carpet/protein powder and Diet Dew fiascos......

I've always told people that it's just a nickname, but when my wife met my family for the first time, she pulled me aside and told me that "...it's not just a nickname, IT'S YOUR FRIGGIN' NAME! Your own cousins don't even know what your given name is for crying out loud!" Or, she said something like that.

My family and close firends still uses that nickname to this day!!!!

So, should I share?????
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Old 06-16-2005, 08:28 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by cappuccino:
hilarious story Bond! I thought of you yesterday as condensation from my water bottle dripped on my leg and ran down it as I stood up. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Yikes!! I'm beginning to wonder if that's a good thing????
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Old 06-16-2005, 09:31 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bond007:
So, should I share?????
Do tell, do tell.
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Old 06-16-2005, 09:46 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by hard_rox:
quote:
Originally posted by Bond007:
So, should I share?????
Do tell, do tell. [/quote]Yes...we need to know now!
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Old 06-16-2005, 09:52 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Ok...here goes....


Scooter
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