The difference in definition between "guts" and "balls"
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next fatty."
Q. Why is a watch a bad gift idea for your wife?
A. Because most stoves have a clock already on it.
Q. You are playing cards with the boys. How long does it take to open a round of beers?
A. No time at all. They should already be open when your wife brings them to you.
Q. Why should your wife have tiny feet?
A. So she can stand close enough to the sink so as not to drop water on the floor.
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Those that can't do teach. Those that can't teach consult. Deserve aka Gabe
'8 replies before the gutter! Good job Clubhouse!!!!!' Ninjabookey
Rest and relaxation can be a powerful “nothing” to propel us to greater achievements. Mahler
Stop listening to your wiener. He may want to go for a swim, but you haven't checked if the waters are shark infested yet. Ninjabookey
He said...I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants don't you?
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He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She
said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.!
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He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
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On a wall in a ladies room..."My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it..." I do not"
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Who Me?
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
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Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
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Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
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Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
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Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends. ****************************** ***
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow
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Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to
bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common?
A. They're married.
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Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
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And major action will certainly make you feel a bit uncomfortable, which is absolutely fine. You've gotta get excited about feeling uncomfortable, you've gotta love feeling slightly uncomfortable, because you know that you're stepping outside the boundaries that you used to create.
Zach Even-Esh
I've made some huge mistakes, but they were necessary, because without them I wouldn't have learned anything.
-Dave Tate
Linear Mode
