Hello, I just got my book in the mail and am eager to get started. I went to the gym last night and looked over to the area where the squat racks and cable machines were and froze. It's all big heavy lifting guys and a couple of women who look like they live in the gym. I was so intimidated and felt that being an over weight 40 something woman, I didn't belong. So ended up doing my usual cardio and machines!!! Anyone else have this trouble? Please give me some advise for just getting that first workout done in the "big kid's" section of the gym! also do you carry a clipboard around with you? Again I felt funny bringing it with me???? HELP
I can't answer your questions as I do my workouts at home. However, from what I've heard around here... none of those people are all that scary. In fact, most of them are busy doing their own thing. So don't worry about it and take that first step. If you feel funny about a clipboard, just bring a sheet with what you need to do on it.
I totally know where you are coming from. I had a hard time moving from the pool to the gym area a couple years back - I was so intimidated. My first step was to the cardio machines. Then, I gathered up the courage to work with a personal trainer one day a week to teach me the machines. It was a gradual process for me to gain confidence to where I am now. Today I work out with the BIG BUFF BOYS and the uber fit gals and don't even blink an eye (I'm still about 50 pounds from where I want to be).
Having said that, my next challenge is to do some boxing and I'm having a bit of a confidence issue there....I really want to do it but something, probably being self-consciousness - is holding me back so again, I'm thinking to buy a couple PT sessions to get me over the hurdle.
I've found that most people aren't really paying attention to you - they are really just paying attention to themselves. They might appear to be 'watching' you, but they are basically trying to distract themselves to get through their own workouts. Plus, I suspect that most people that are in the gym are really silently supporting each other not judging. I know I find myself silently encouraging newbies - knowing how they feel and hoping they keep coming so that they can experience the changes that I have had.
I'm on stage 2 of NROL4W and I bring my clipboard to the gym. I'm getting better and better at not letting what other people think inhibit me.
I know exactly what you mean! I was SO panicked about doing my first Stage 1 workout, it was ridiculous -- I felt like I didn't belong in the weights section with all the "Big Kids"
A few tips that might help: (1) do a practice workout at home mimicking the moves just with body weight, or hold something like a broom or cans of soup to stand in for dumbbells so you have more confidence when you go, (2) it helped me to at least appear more confident by writing down my routine on a small piece of paper and leaving it in my locker so I could go back and refer to it (I've even tucked it in my sock!), then to record my weights, sets and reps when I got home, (3) if you really have trouble with a move and feel like a dork doing it, just go do something else that you're comfortable with and act like it's part of your workout, and (4) realize that people may be looking at you in the gym -- but mostly, they're looking because they like your moves and they're looking for workout ideas!
I was so intimidated and felt that being an over weight 40 something woman, I didn't belong. So ended up doing my usual cardio and machines!!! Anyone else have this trouble? Please give me some advise for just getting that first workout done in the "big kid's" section of the gym! also do you carry a clipboard around with you? Again I felt funny bringing it with me????
You can go to an all woman's gym if it really bothers you, or go when you know it's going to be quiet..
But honestly, I find those gym rats (male and female) are the best for getting advice, spots, etc..
They've been there, and most are more than eager to share their advice, tips on form, etc..
At least you're at the gym doing something!!
AND you're carrying around a clipboard, which means you have a plan, and are serious.. Not some listless sack drifting to one machine to the next (that, unfortunately, makes up the majority, at my gym)..
Don't worry about them. I, too, was afraid of what the other "big boys" and the one other girl who uses the "man weights" when I got started. For my first few visits I went with my boyfriend who showed me how to do the lifts (all new to me). During those first few visits one of the regulars who is super friendly and talks to everyone volunteered to help teach me some of the moves. He still checks in on my progress when he sees me. But for the most part, everyone else will ignore you. I've been doing the "man weights" for aobut 3 months now (starting stage 4) and jsut this last week, a couple of the other regulars have started talking to me.
A few days in the program, my boyfriend had to leave on a 3 month business trip and I had to go to the gym all on my own. First few times on my own, I felt out of place, but learned to ignore or do a glance with friendly smile to any one who looked at me and got on with my workout. Now I'm one of the regulars, MWF after work and don't get a second glance from most people. And I've introduced 2 other coworkers to the book, so there's some more of us at the gym, although usually at different times. Maybe you have a friend who you could train with? Strength in numbers!
The most common commet I get is "I wish more women would come down here". They know lifting weights is good for men and women and want more women to give a try to something that will actually make a difference in their life and body.
If your worried about looking like a dork or any other negative term, perhaps trying going during a less busy time for the first couple of work outs as you learn the moves. Go at lunch? Try an hour earlier or later and you'll miss most of the rush. Go after work? Stick around work or run an errand for 45-60 minutes, then hit the gym. There should be half as many people and you won't be as selfconscious.
As for carrying around a log, don't worry about that either. Take a look at the others and you'll notice most of them have some way to keep track. It might be a small 2"x4" notebook, clipboard, or loose paper folded up. Personally, I carry the NROLW book and a 5"x8" workout log that I reference between excercises and when ever I forget what I should be doing.
Sorry for the super long post, I just want others to know that the gym isn't a scary place and you can do it!
Amylougirl, I''m so glad you brought this up! And i think its definitely a common concern among females who are interesting in lifting. I was also pretty self-conscious and intimidated when I started lifting. But one of the trainers at my gym who noticed that I was using the squat rack (quite uncommon even at the NYSC that I go to) came up to and gave me a couple great tips:
1) Women who weightlift are great role models for other women - so you should be proud to be working out with in the "boys area" - so put your peacock feathers up and show them what's what.
2) Weightlifting is noisy, so don't be afraid to make noise when you're setting up your gear (He was referring to the way I was gingerly putting the bar back on the rack - hilarious)
3) People at the gym look - they look at you, they look at other people, they look at themselves in the mirror. This is the nature of the gym. But honestly, I'm sure their just as self-conscious as you are, so my bet is that they're not judging you at all. And as someone already commented, probably silently encouraging you. When i see a females lifting in my gym, i always think 'you go girl!' - i'm sure i'm not alone.
All that said, I still primarily do my lifting in the mornings when there aren't as many people in the gym and definitely not as many guys in monopolizing the weight area (I still don't know the etiquette on rotating on machines, etc. and frankly I don't think I want to). So you're not alone on that. Also, I still feel like a total D-bag carrying around my little notepad and pencil (i use a 2x4" notepad -its almost inconspicuous?) - but whatever! I have a goals and I'm on a program, and this is what i tell myself to feel better. It works.
I agree with what everyone else said too and I'm glad I could share my little story. And not to be cruel, but the best advice i can give is just to get on with it already! And even if initially you feel all awkward, once you get into the habit of it no one is going to think twice seeing you lifting and you will most probably become a fixture at the gym just like the "big boys"
ps. and since we're on the topic of newbie-isms, if you ever have to de-load a squat rack that one of the "big boys" loaded up with huge weights and didn't take off when he was done - ask someone for help (a trainer pref) and learn the proper technique for taking off heavy weights from a bar. I nearly got my face smacked by the bar because I unwittingly took off too much weight on one side - talk about embarrassing!
1. go to the gym one morning when it's nearly empty. I love working out at 8am on Saturday because the weights room is practically empty. I found that once I knew my way around and felt comfortable using the squat rack, etc., I was much more confident about being there when it's more crowded.
2. OWN YOUR SPACE. Guys do this all the time and they do it without thinking about it. Example: have you ever been in the middle seat of an airplane between two men? They spread out and take the armrests while you feel like you have to make yourself as small as possible, right? Don't do this in the weight room (or anywhere, really.) Do not feel like you have no business being there because you do. Absolutely you do. Take a bench and make it yours. When you use the squat rack, don't rush your sets if you think someone is waiting. If they want to work in they'll ask.
3. Carry your clipboard. I do, and nobody has every looked at me funny or questioned it in any way. Logging my workout gives me something to do during rest times, so that's a bonus.
4. Make friends. You'll need a spot at some point and it's nice to have someone you can ask!
I work out in the gym at a military installation. As an overweight civilian female, I was uncomfortable going into the gym with big, beefy guys lifting my body weight with dumbbells. One day, I decided I was going to try it and ignore everyone else. I brought my book with me and my clipboard and started the routine. I took it nice and slow and concentrated on what I was doing and not other people. Last Friday, when I finished my Squats, a noticed to people staring at me. I smiled and went on to the next exercise. These two beefy guys came up and commented on how good my form looked. I thanked them and they told me to keep up the good work. Granted, I haven't been lifting in the gym that long (2 weeks), but I now recognize the guys that lift and often get a little head nod.
Bite the bullet, and just go in and start lifting. You are there to make yourself stronger and healthier and no one can fault you for that.
Amylougirl, I'm really glad you started this thread because everyone has a first day and feels awkward on that first day. My experience has been that most people in the gym are really nice. And after you've been going for a while, you'll recognize all the regulars and you'll be one of them, too.
And can I just say, I'm sooooo sick of free weights being the "man weights"! Let's end gym segregation, ladies!
As for notebooks/clipboards, I bought a little book in Chinatown that is covered in a pretty red fabric sporting flowers and butterflies that is ever so girly, and I use it to mark my territory in the weight room.
When I first started going to a gym (not even to lift) I was terrified. The gym did have someone to help show you around the first time or two, which really helped me get comfortable. Even then, after years of going to gyms (although irregularly) I was intimidated by the freeweights and the "beefy guys" who tended to be there. I started freeweights at home doing Cathe DVDs then progressed to the gym and did my own weight routines. From doing the workouts at home (i.e. ALONE! ) I was rather comfortable in the gym because I had an idea what weights to choose and how to not be too awkward. Even then, when I started NRoLfW, I felt awkward again. Many of the moves were new to me. I know I shouldn't worry what other people think, but I still feel very self conscious in these situations. But, I sucked it up, took my time, and headed to the big boys room with my gear. I took my log, my book, a towel, and some water. I did go during a slow time so I wouldn't have to worry as much about the equipment being available. (small gym) I would review the lifts during rest breaks. Now, in stage 5, I have a bag that I carry all my crap in. Book, log, Eco-ball, towel, phone, keys, extra reading (NROL original, currently) for the 2 minute breaks and 2 minute planks, and miscellaneous other things I should probably take out. I just don't care any more what others think.
Why? I have now been at this (NRoLfW) for 8 months and I've come to the realization that those "beefy guys" were probably not always beefy. They have had to work hard to get where they are and have to continue to work hard to stay there. There is no reason why they should look at anyone else working hard in a negative light, in fact I'm guessing they are silently cheering me on. (At least, I can imagine that.) If they are arrogant about where they are, they are asses and they would be asses whether they are "beefy" or not. I have no reason to concern myself with asses.
Are there trainers roving the floor at your gym? If you are not confident about what you need to be doing/using, ask one for help. I was really nervous about deadlifts but asking a trainer got me through that.
I've never paid any attention to other people unless you're in my way or are doing something blatantly idiotic (cell phone usage, dropping dbs because you're too cool to set them down, getting in my space and stepping over/under my bar in the middle of a lift). Half the time if you actually try to get my attention you'll fail miserably without a good amount of effort on your part. I'm not there to give a crap what you do.
ps. and since we're on the topic of newbie-isms, if you ever have to de-load a squat rack that one of the "big boys" loaded up with huge weights and didn't take off when he was done - ask someone for help (a trainer pref) and learn the proper technique for taking off heavy weights from a bar. I nearly got my face smacked by the bar because I unwittingly took off too much weight on one side - talk about embarrassing!
I laughed at this, because a few times I have had to unload a bar with a bunch of weight, and I was pretty hesitant, thinking that if I unload too much from one end, it will fall towards the other end. I even worry when there's only one 45lb. plate on each side that it will fall if I take off one end. Even having done it and knowing that one plate is not heavy enough to make it fall, it's still an anxious moment for me! I mean, at some point, the weight is too much on one end, right? How much? Will 2 45's on one end dump the bar? I can just picture the crashing and ensuing stares and derision!
Great tips from everyone. I agree, just go for it! btw I usually carry my whole book plus printed out workout log with me. That way I can refresh my memory of how to do an exercise whenever I need to. I just find a spot to leave my stuff, and go back there to fill out my log as needed.
I think this is a good thread for any newbies to read because nearly all of us have been there.
I am still the only woman who regularly uses the weights area in my gym (been going for 4 months) but now I don't feel intimidated about going in there (unless there are quite a few men in there as it's only a small area).
On my first visit I had my induction and specifically asked about free weights so at least the first time I went in was with a trainer so I could have a good look at everything and work out what was what.
I use an A5 clipboard with printed workout sheets on them. I felt a little silly the first few times but now I need my clipboard! I've seen guys with notebooks and pieces of paper. I have a glance at what they have, I've seen a couple glance at mine (when I was doing AMRAP in Stage One though, so no impressive numbers on it then!)
Sometimes you think people are watching but generally I think people are just staring into the middle distance with an occassional glance at the people around them.
As Lancelot said, removing plates (that should have been removed by the user!) is a bit scary. I too thought that the bar was going to fly up in the air and all the plates would crash to the ground, but not yet! If you're unsure, get a employee to help you out. You shouldn't have to do it, especially if the plates are big - I can pick some of them up but I can't necessarily manouvere them on/off an Oly bar!)
I am the typical girl sometimes and if lots of equipment has been left lying around, benches left at strange angles and obscuring the power cage, I've tidied up. I want to work out in a tidy environment (I've tripped over heavy dumbbells left in the middle of the floor before) plus when you're new it gives you a chance to handle weights you haven't yet used. It can be a good warm-up!
Oh, and before I did the moves at the gym, I practiced them just with body weight at home. Means you can study the book and take your time and not feel self conscious about being the newbie.
I was never brave enough to bring in the book, but I definitely practice moves at home before each new workout so I have it down.
I print a workout log, fill in the weights I used last time in the notes so I have a starting point, and fold it small enough to fit in my zipper pouch in which I carry my keys, club pass, pen, ipod, etc. Then I just take it out and fill it in and it's unobtrusive. But I really think it shows some gym integrity to be logging workouts at all! It shows you have a plan and goals, like someone else pointed out. Others are probably impressed!
I did see a woman there last week who had a book with her. . . .Jillian Michaels The Final Cut, or whatever it is. She kept opening it and checking the moves. I was really impressed that she was there, she was working hard, and she was using a program, showing she has goals, etc. . . (Although I wished she had NROLFW instead!)
I leave my book and notes laying on the floor, sometimes not incredibly close to where I am. Yesterday, these two young men were standing next to my notes and book and 'stretching' while reading the page on squats and my weight notes. I had to laugh because they were concentrating so hard they didn't hear me ask for my book back so I could move on. Once they heard, I got the big guy act. I was waiting for them to pound their chests and start the Tarzan yell. I told them it was a very good book and they should get the original verison. One of the young men nodded and said thanks.
I secretly think most guys are impressed when they see women using free weights. Most are very nice once you can find the courage to ask them for assistance.
I secretly think most guys are impressed when they see women using free weights.
I think that's right. Guys are so used to seeing women on a cardio-only exercise plan that I think they respect women who see the benefits of weights. When I finally mastered the jackknife, a guy came up to me after my set of 15 and said he was really impressed b/c that was "the hardest ab move in the book"-- turns out he was a NROL fan.
It can go the other way, though. Lots of guys are condescending which is irritating. Another time I had a guy tell me I was doing too few reps at too high a weight on my lat pulldowns. I think he was just upset because I was pulling more than he was.
I second Amblus' comments. I'd go when it's not busy and get familiar with the equipment. I would also go when it *is* busy though, and watch what other people do. I wouldn't copy their *form* necessarily because they might have that wrong but at least it will help you get a sense of, for ex, where the cable machines are, how to use them, how to change the various parts that may need to be changed. That's what I used to do when I went to the gym (I work out at home now).
Taking up space is also good advice, esp. for a woman. You belong anywhere you want to be. (Besides, many of these guys don't actually know what they're doing, so don't let them intimidate you. :p)
Taking up space is also good advice, esp. for a woman. You belong anywhere you want to be. (Besides, many of these guys don't actually know what they're doing, so don't let them intimidate you. :p)
I agree with this statement whole-heartedly. If I start DB Shoulder Presses, I leave my log on the seat for the Lat Pulldowns. I claim my space so I make sure I have it to successfully complete the workout. I have noticed that some people in our gym tend to wander around and then jump on whatever they think is open. Or will quickly snatch up a finished piece of equipment and then use a ridiculously high weight. I have a reasonably good idea why they do this.
If you saw me in the gym now you would probably think I was one of the girls who lived there. I have muscles, lift heavy (relatively) and am pretty lean.
HOWEVER, if you had seen me 3 years ago you would have seen a 40-something, never-athletic, uncoordinated, frumpy, 50-pounds overweight woman dragging around a copy of Body for Life with a bunch of papers sticking out of it. And don't forget the horrible posture.
Don't judge other people in the gym, they could have looked like you a relatively short time ago. I ALWAYS try to make eye contact with newbies and act friendly, 'cause I remember what it was like. Yes, lots of them have always been athletic and have no idea what you're going through. But you will also find lots of people who are welcoming, want to help, and identify with you.
I've had bad experiences in the weight area (equipment hogs and arrogant jerks) but most of the people who are idiots will just ignore you. Sure, I had young guys give me shit (mock whisper: "that lady has enough muscle, she needs to stop lifting heavy and get rid of some FAT!")But I have also had great interactions with 70-year old bodybuilders, regular gym rats, you name it. I used to feel weird hanging out in the "bodypart split" area doing my NROL exercises, but after a while you just get used to it, and every once in a while you will see someone doing things similar to what you are doing.
The main thing to keep in mind is that most of the people don't give a shit what you are doing.
Hold your head high, the jerks won't pay you any mind, and you might make some great friends. And in a little while, you may just look like one of the girls who lives there too.
Hey Amylougirl, I think everyone has been where you have been. I may not be in my 40's but there was a time where I felt so intimidated at the gym, I would just stick to the cardio machines until I got tired of feeling like I didn't belong.
My advice is to ease into it. As much as you want to start the program, I think its best to get acquainted with the gym so when you do start the program, you feel confident and can focus on what you are doing and not on what others are doing and where they are looking. So if you are new to the gym, go a bit more in the next couple of days and just check out where what machine is located. Go when it is not busy - that's my trick. I know that in the mornings and late at night, the gym is fairly empty with the exception of some regulars. While there will always be someone who might intimidate you, try to get past it and just focus on what you are doing, this is easier when there are fewer people there.
I don't carry a clipboard, I have a little notebook. I got it at staples, its called the 'Fat Lil Notebook', its only abut 3x5". I write out my plan before I go to the gym and take a pencil with me. I'll write out what I am suppose to do, sets/reps, rest and how much I did last time and leave a space to fill in how much I am lifting and fill it out at the gym. It looks something like this:
(hehe, that's my actual last workout! haha)
I hope that helps!
Don't feel silly walking around with a pad or paper, it makes me feel lik I know what I am doing cause I have a plan. I've noticed a lot of people write down what they do at the gym.
2. OWN YOUR SPACE. Guys do this all the time and they do it without thinking about it. Example: have you ever been in the middle seat of an airplane between two men? They spread out and take the armrests while you feel like you have to make yourself as small as possible, right? Don't do this in the weight room (or anywhere, really.) Do not feel like you have no business being there because you do. Absolutely you do. Take a bench and make it yours. When you use the squat rack, don't rush your sets if you think someone is waiting. If they want to work in they'll ask.
LOVE this advice. I have a choice of gyms -- and when I'm forced by circumstance to work out at the gym where I'm less comfortable, I put on my iPod and a baseball cap and look all introverted and (I tell myself) dangerous to approach. My hot friend who gets hit on all the time in the gym gave me that tip. I don't have that problem, but it keeps people from chatting (or the dumb rookie personal trainer who sees one woman in the weightroom and decides she must need advice to approach and recommend some smaller weights) and shutting out the world also keeps me focused.
And remind yourself that you're there doing something awesome for yourself, and what other people think is really totally unimportant.
Newbie feeling intimidated at gym! Help!!
) If they are arrogant about where they are, they are asses and they would be asses whether they are "beefy" or not. I have no reason to concern myself with asses.
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