This afternoon when I got to the gym the two squat cages were occupied - one had an older man and the other had a younger man doing a circuit of pull ups, squats and pushups. I could clearly tell he wasn't close to being finished, so I asked the older gentleman if he was still using his cage. He was very funny and told me he was almost done and to stop being "pushy." Once he was done he helped me set up my bar for deadlifts and I told him how much weight to leave on the bar. Then he said I was "bossy." Once I finished my deadlifts, he commented that I "was pretty strong for a little lady."
He was really nice and joking around, but I can see how sometimes the men come off as jerks. There were definitely some looks from the younger guys at the gym when I was doing my lunges, especially from a guy who spent the whole time on his biceps, haha. Apparently lunges don't qualify as a "real" exercise.
Are you saying that it's standard for men to joke to each other, within ear-shot of the male subject, about that man's body? Hey look at his nipples?
In the world of mostly-straight men, wouldn't that count as either a come-on to the guy or asking for an ass-kicking?
Yeah, I second that. It's not friendly weight room smack-talk. Teasing a woman directly about something in a friendly way, because a man sees her as an equal and thinks she can take it, is totally different than two guys talking about her and joking with each other. No man would do that to another man unless he was prepared for a fist fight or assumed the man he was bullying wouldn't start one.
Having said that I fully support any and all teeny-weenie comments. I say hit 'em where it hurts.
Getting to the original post, I think pointing out childish behavior is a good response to childish behavior. The next time that guy starts slamming DBs point out that your toddler has better control over his/her emotion and to grow up.
Beautiful - I'm going to use that.
The more you make yourself call obnoxious adult sized children on their behaviour, the easier it becomes. Eventually, it becomes habitual, which I think is a good thing; it's a habit that women have to intentionally cultivate, most of us having been raised to be non-confrontational.
Just had to add my 2 cents....until last week, I've had nothing but great experiences in the weight room at my gym. So I was surprised last week when a guy wouldn't let me work in at the squat rack. He had been on it for at least 20 mins. (15 sec. using it/5 min chatting with his friend about his cell phone coverage) so I asked him how much longer he would be. "A lot longer, I still have a lot of work to do", he said. I put all my stuff down and said "I'll wait". 3 mins. later he quit and huffed away and then he and his friend bad mouthed me to every guy who came into the gym for the next 45 mins! I asked a couple of beefy, younger guys about it and they said I was right and he should have let me work in. Also said I should have said something to him about all his talking! lol If there is ever a next time...I'm ready for that guy.
Wow! That is bad! I had some guys getting annoyed when I asked them if they had finished using the squat then told me they'd be 5 mins (so I used the treadmill but I'd done the rest of my workout already so didn't really want to wait), but bad mouthing you?! That is not on!
It's in my nature to just get on with things unnoticed and without confrontation so I don't know how I would have coped with this situation.
Interestingly, I've found the guys in my gym to be fine, but before I discovered NROL, and so was using the machine a lot, I found some of the women to be really obnoxious. Like the woman who was sitting on the only leg press machine reading a magazine and told me "I don't like strangers talking to me when I'm working out" when I asked if I could work in.
I put it down more to the split between machines & free weights. I think that most of the people using free weights at my gym tend to be pretty serious about it - they're here to work out, not to gossip or talk or show off their workout clothes. And they respect others with the same attitude.
Like the woman who was sitting on the only leg press machine reading a magazine and told me "I don't like strangers talking to me when I'm working out" when I asked if I could work in.
Ha! I nearly spat my tea out!
I can't believe that my gym has a big ol' pile of magazines for people to read while they work out.
I was doing my walking lunges and got a step or two past these two guys who were working out together and I heard one of them say, "Is it cold?" I found this rude in a different sense than what you described above, and it didn't really impede or impair my workout, but still... I was pretty self-conscious after that . And I couldn't really do anything about it either. Bah.[/quote]
I think the proper response in that situation is to look directly at their crotches and say YES, apparently it must be very VERY cold.
This is a very interesting thread! I work in a male dominated field, so working out at the gym just felt like a natural continuation. I do notice there are a few women working out with the free weights, but mostly men.
I work out at a college gym, and it seems to be the way to go. Not only is the atmosphere non-competitive, but attitudes are respectful (it's a miltary institution to boot). My experience is other lifters being either helpful, complimentary, or at least respectful (it is obvious I am not a student and, having run into my students there, am more likely to be called "ma'am" and accommodated than having any confrontation). of course, being a professor does mean I have some obvious authority over the students, but other adults have the same attitudes.
NROL is great because I can watch the common courtesy receive turn to actual respect as others witness my workout.
I just did my first NROLW workout yesterday... I've yet to start working out in the free-weight area though. We have an area upstairs that is women only, which has a ton of cardio machines, a bunch of weight machines, a dumbell rack (usually containing about 8 sets of 3 pounders) and some benches, and floorspace for doing swiss ball workouts and pushups and stuff. I got through my first workout fine with just what was upstairs, but I'm hoping I'll get up the courage to go downstairs. At least I feel cool using the heaviest dumbells upstairs (oooh 15 pounders!!) :]
Nothing really to say other than to mention that since I started working out at the Y (two or three weeks ago), today was the first day I'd seen a woman in the weight room.
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Tom
No "happy hours" makes for a lot of miserable days. - Mahler
I have to agree with Natalia, I hear nothin but my tunes, and some ocassional loud, unesessary grunting from the "tanorexic" guy who looks like a catchers mit.
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