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Originally Posted by rixatrix I wonder what this would look like in an all-female heavy lifting gym? Lots of pictures of shirtless firemen holding kittens, maybe, or Brad Pitt doing the dishes with no pants on (shot from behind, naturally). Or maybe just George Clooney needing help opening a jar...nekkid.
You assume the majority of members would be straight. I'm rather doubtful, actually. At least, assuming it's not all just aerobics and cardio...
The worst problem I have at my gym are men leaving their damn plates everywhere. I was so excited when I caught an offender wandering off from the squat rack. "hi, excuse me. Were you done?" "yeah" and he goes shuffling off.
"HEY, why don't you get your weights off of it then" He looked totally annoyed as I stood there as I would if it were my 15 year old shrugging off chores but whatever.
Other than that, no one has ever given me an ounce of grief.
UGH! This is how my gym is and it drives me nuts. Even the dumb trainers leave the weights on. How do I know their dumb? Because they are texting people while they are training. It blows my mind. I can't believe people pay for that!
I wonder what this would look like in an all-female heavy lifting gym? Lots of pictures of shirtless firemen holding kittens, maybe, or Brad Pitt doing the dishes with no pants on (shot from behind, naturally). Or maybe just George Clooney needing help opening a jar...nekkid.
I wonder what this would look like in an all-female heavy lifting gym? Lots of pictures of shirtless firemen holding kittens, maybe, or Brad Pitt doing the dishes with no pants on (shot from behind, naturally). Or maybe just George Clooney needing help opening a jar...nekkid.
I have to de-lurk for this one - Rixatrix your post always crack me up - ha ha.
I was on the treadmill this morning looking around the blank walls at my gym and thought of this post. We could really use some inspirition up the walls. The gym has a new owner, perhaps I will slip a note into the suggestion box!
I haven't had horribly weird experiences yet (knock on wood) because I haven't moved from the machines to the mostly male free weights section of my gym, which is LA Fitness. I've gone to a few La Fitness's around my area and they all seem to be the same: places for hotter people to show off and not do much working out. It fits my budget perfectly though and I like the hours, so I'll just have to deal.
ANYWAY, the only issues I've had have been creepy guys bugging me while I'm working out. I try to put on my "bitch face" when I walk into the gym so no one bothers me, but it doesn't work all the time. There's always some creepy guy there who seems to go just to pick up young chicks. One time, at another gym (the Y, I think), it got so bad that I had to have security walk me out to my car.
I'm sure once I work out a bit more I'll be able to kick some butt....but I'll have to wait on that. )
ANYWAY, the only issues I've had have been creepy guys bugging me while I'm working out.
I get creeped out sometimes by the watchers; the ones standing around wiping imaginary sweat, watching girls do Romanian deadlifts from behind or checking out every chick using that thigh sqeezy machine that's supposed to build muscles on your inner thighs (like I want to bulk up my inner thighs?!?)
I was working out with a friend once, she was using the seated leg press, where your legs are actually up in the air to push the weight, you know? I noticed this guy staring at her every concentric point, so I moved around front and, yeah, her shorts gaped and, well there's just too much of that kind of crap. A well stocked women's only might be alright.
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I haven't had any issues so far. The longer I am around and spending time in the "gladiator arena", LOL the more comfortable I am and there is a sense of respect between everyone. Sure, there are always the creepy guys that you catch looking every now and then, but on the other hand, there are times I catch myself watching someone who is using proper form, etc so I could be considered creepy, too.
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Pictures of men washing dishes, vacuuming, and doing laundry???
HA... My wife would get turned on by pictures like that!
Yeah, the hardcore porn in a public setting seems really weird to me. I can understand (although still find silly) having pictures of scantly clad women, but hardcore porn on the walls at a gym that anyone can buy a membership seems masoginistic.
For the record, my gym is very nice and upscale, but it also has real substance to it, and my staff monitor the gym floor constantly to keep the flow in the weightroom smooth.
A few mornings ago I had a hotel guest get pissy because I had a machine tied up with my bootcamp. As if a lat pull is the only freakin' vertical pulling motion you can do! He was stomping around making a fuss and acting real put out. He was wearing a dingy concert tee-shirt with cut-off sleaves and baggy pants--a real throw-back to the mid-eighties--and he just about got asked to leave by the owner for being a jerk.
That's the one nice thing about owning my own gym I guess. I did as someone to put their weights away one time and they snipped, "what, do you think you own the place or something?" They hadn't met me yet apparently. It was pretty funny... I said, "As a matter of fact..."
Getting to the original post, I think pointing out childish behavior is a good response to childish behavior. The next time that guy starts slamming DBs point out that your toddler has better control over his/her emotion and to grow up.
SO far , so good !!! No meannies in my gym yet,,, everyone is so nice... I have had one man ask me what competition I was training for ! He was serious.. I told him the cometition of LIFE... ALSO, The other day after my weight w/o , I was finishing off a couple miles on the Eliptical & a man walked up & said you lift heavy weights and now your not even sweating "Your showing all the men up here! " That made me feel good & gave me inspiration to keep on going... Anyway the men and women are very nice at the gym I go to... I love the friends I have made there. About the lunge/cold thing *** OH NO ,, I haven't noticed , but I will now !! haha AfterBurn
I was at the gym the other day at the squat rack and a man came over (big muscly dude) and said that he hoped I didn't mind, but he just wanted to point out that I was leaning forward a bit too much at the bottom of the squat, and wanted to save me problems (with my back) later on.
Wasn't sure how to react, but as I hardly ever see anyone doing plain old barbell squats, I figured that he took me seriously and wanted to genuinely help. So I said "thanks... I appreciate that"... and he was right... I now notice myself leaning forward an am working on my form.
So, it was a positive experience, but I thought of this thread and wondered if he would have done the same to a man??
My guess is: probably not, but at least this guy was savvy enough to realise unsolicited advice might not be appreciated and prefaced his comments with "I hope you don't mind..."
At my gym (GoodLife members will recognize this), a lot of the machines are arranged in a circuit and there are signs suggesting a "Fit Fix" workout whereby you do the circuit at 8-12 reps per machine. The other day, an older gentleman I know (who has logged many, many hours in the gym) was using the ab machine for sets of about 50 reps. He got a free "education" in gym etiquette by a (presumably) newbie woman who informed him that he was using the machine incorrectly as he was doing more than 8-12 reps. Evidently, no one told this woman that 8-12 reps wasn't mandatory! Moral of the story: Crap like that happens to people of various demographics...
I understand where your coming from Bytsi. I am NOT a woman or anything but I am a runner, so I don't have that much muscle. So some "meatheads" no offense, don't feel that I belong at the gym. But I understand where you are coming from, so I believe that it is NOT a woman issue. So every once an a while I have an idiot like you mention, just don't let it bother you and good luck with NROLW!
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On this same note, I just had a guy (OUTSIDE of the gym) make a really rude remark to me. I was hanging out between my daughter's volleyball games on Saturday, rewriting out my Stage 1 workouts. I am no stranger to the weight area but haven't used the cable machine too much, and didn't know how much the plates on the cable machine actually weigh. I know my daughter's coach lifts because he mentions it whenever he can work it into a conversation. So anyway, I asked him, "hey, btw, how much do those plates weigh anyway?" Insted of actually answering me, he asked me if I was training to be Miss Muscle USA or something and spouted off into this huge lecture about how if I lifted weights too much I'd start bulking all up and looking like a man, blah blah blah. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't have much of a response except for the fact that I've been lifting for a year and a half now and I haven't had that problem! Can you imagine!
On the other hand, my gym is pretty small but no one seems to think anything of women lifting real weights--we seem to be taken for granted. I've only had one remark from a group of young guys (who didn't seem to be doing much anyway). As a friend and I were taking turns with the mat to do crunches, they asked each other if they should lay down and nap instead of working out also. I figured they were napping standing up!
On this same note, I just had a guy (OUTSIDE of the gym) make a really rude remark to me. <snip> I know my daughter's coach lifts because he mentions it whenever he can work it into a conversation. So anyway, I asked him, "hey, btw, how much do those plates weigh anyway?" Insted of actually answering me, he asked me if I was training to be Miss Muscle USA or something and spouted off into this huge lecture about how if I lifted weights too much I'd start bulking all up and looking like a man, blah blah blah. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't have much of a response except for the fact that I've been lifting for a year and a half now and I haven't had that problem! Can you imagine!
Wow! Rude AND ignorant!!!
I hope he coaches well - I'm not sure I would want my daughter being trained by someone like that .
Dontcha wish you'd thought of some wonderful comeback? I usually think of something clever, but it's an hour later...
I hope he coaches well - I'm not sure I would want my daughter being trained by someone like that .
Dontcha wish you'd thought of some wonderful comeback? I usually think of something clever, but it's an hour later...
Well, he's a fine coach, although I agree with your sentiment. We are the only homeschool team in at least a 3 hr drive, so I'm just glad she gets the opportunity.
Yeah, I did think of a good comeback, something along the lines of, "you mean I might get huge abs like yours from lifting weights? I thought you just had too many donuts..."
Maybe the guy likes giving advice/tips to people but is intimidated by other male lifters and was excited at the opportunity. You just never know... I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in their intentions.
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Have not had any problem at all. Though I was afraid I might when I first "crossed over." Apparently the prejudice was all mine since the guys have been nothing but respectful all these months. And, I might add, not overly respectful either (which would be uncomfortable) as I often hear a lot of swearing and complaining on girlfriends, etc....! One guy did once jump in and "spot" a bench press for me when I didn't ask him to, that was annoying b/c I was fine with it, it was only the bar. But that guy is sort of "overly friendly" all the time.
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I'm usually the only one in the weight room at my tiny gym. I have gotten a few comments from the male patrons though. One said I was lifting too heavy, one said I don't "need" to lift weights (whatever that means). One guy suggested that I was doing deadlifts incorrectly. He demonstrated the ones where you bend over with straight legs instead. I explained that that was a different exercise.
Wow, I feel really fortunate after reading this thread. I go to a small, neighborhood gym. It's mostly soccer moms on the ellipticals and doing "aerobics" or whatever you call it. The men there are usually the husbands and they mostly use the weight machines.
I never have very many dudes in the way when I want to use the free weights. My biggest problem is being accosted by this one old guy's nausea-inducing cologne or trainers that have clients doing little exercises on the vibrating plate thingy! They don't play loud obnoxious music or let kids under 18 come in by themselves. Purty good overall.
Oh, I forgot to add that there are a bunch of big-muscled women in my gym, too! More than men. Strange, but cool. I always surreptitiously (I hope) check out their muscles when they walk by. Just as inspiration .
I agree and moreover men will make comments towards each other in the gym (or on a basketball court) that they wouldn't make other places. That is the environment. It sounds like some women want men to simultaneously treat them differently and the same as the treat other men. You probably won't get what you want without adopting a more consistent set of expectations.
"Is it cold in here?" said in that context is translated to "Hey, look at her nipples."
Sure, it's not "Sleep with me or you'll lose your job" but it's still intimidating, and it would make any woman unconfortable.
"that is the environment" - No it isn't! That sort of conduct is unacceptable in an environment that is supposed to be comprised of respectful adults, working towards improving their bodies and by extension their self-image.
"It sounds like some women want men to simultaneously treat them differently and the same as the treat other men. "
Are you saying that it's standard for men to joke to each other, within ear-shot of the male subject, about that man's body? Hey look at his nipples?
In the world of mostly-straight men, wouldn't that count as either a come-on to the guy or asking for an ass-kicking?
That is NOT something that would have been said to a man. That's not equality, or respect, which IS what we want and expect.
some women would not be uncomfortable but would spark back with "why ... are you experiencing some shrinkage?" - entirely depends on the environment, the context and the general vibe of the place
I'm pretty sure guys trash on each other without it being sexual or confrontational -
and all of that is not to say that guys can't be rude and sexualize every possible situation - and that's not to say that some comments can be extremely disconcerting - but really, sometimes you have to just chill out about things -
some women would not be uncomfortable but would spark back with "why ... are you experiencing some shrinkage?" - entirely depends on the environment, the context and the general vibe of the place
I'm pretty sure guys trash on each other without it being sexual or confrontational -
and all of that is not to say that guys can't be rude and sexualize every possible situation - and that's not to say that some comments can be extremely disconcerting - but really, sometimes you have to just chill out about things -
True you gotta pick your battles... Testosterone poisoning aside, I just get rankled when someone says "this pissed me off" and the response is "oh boys will be boys/what do you expect" etc.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect to be able to work out without other gym members commenting on your nips.
Sure, some women wouldn't be that ruffled by it, but for others it'd wreck their mood and they shouldn't have to cope with that when they're paying the same membership fees. The Aries in me is pushing back at the comments that women should just expect & tolerate crap like that, or that it's not significant.
I think it's pretty clear though that this is not a widespread problem, and the vast majority of men in these gyms are a pleasure to have around, which is fantastic. I realize I'm picking up on only one of a very few incidents.
Also, I tend to stay away from the teenie-weenie taunts. Too easy, and it's not the respectful behaviour I'm hoping for from them. We've had a lot of practice confronting random men on the street who seem to think it's acceptable to make lewd queer-bashing comments. This sort of thing works well:
"How sad are you that you need get attention from women by harassing them like this? Have some respect. Don't talk to women like that. Be nice." All the while, my body language says "Do NOT mess with me."
Sometimes this gets them all riled up, (at which point we walk away, leaving dude to choak on his own mouth-foam) but I like to think he'll think twice before harassing someone else, for fear of getting called out again. If cat-callers were calmly called on their behaviour every time, it wouldn't be fun for them anymore.
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