Anyone willing to give me a good kick in the butt?

[jhardy]

It is a good thing that I started this challenge in January because while it is the longest I have actually stuck with something, I am quickly slipping. Next week, when new pictures and stats are due, it is quite possible that I will be in a worse position than a month ago (and in all honesty, there hasn't been much change since I began).

While I have been continuing with the workouts (at a little slower pace the last few weeks) and am about to complete stage 3, my biggest challenge is clean eating. I will do great for a few days, lose a couple of pounds (water) and then lose control for a few days and gain more than I lost. I have started over so many times it is pathetic. I have no balance. It is either all or none.

Work has been extremely stressful, I am exhausted, feel like crap (no specific illness) and I am just down. I know this is all within my control, but I cannot get out of this funk and develop a consistent pattern of good health. I can identify with so many specific times of the year and certain events that I feel self-conscious because of how I look, yet year after year, I am the same. When will this pattern end? When will I quit obsessing about my weight, yet lead a healthy lifestyle? I want to look good this summer in a swimsuit and in sundresses, but I say this every year. What will make me change my patterns quickly??

I need start completing my log each night. I keep a food/exercise journal on paper, but have not transferred any information onto my log for over a month. Maybe a daily log with my thoughts would help me stay on track.

Does anyone have any thoughts? For those that have met their goals, what kicked you into gear. For those working to still get there, what keeps you going? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Jen

[Leigh P.]

I hope others chime in with support and their stories. All i can really share for you is to ask yourself one question and really think about the answer.

Why? Why do you REALLY want to lose the fat? You don't have to answer it here, but ask yourself why.

THEN

Ask yourself what do you need to achieve it, what do you really need? Is it knowledge of the technique? Is it accountability? Is it urgency?

What do you need to not have to ask for help anymore? What will help you achieve your goal so that you are the one giving the help to others.

Whatever it is that comes to you in those questions, in those moments, whatever the cost, however crazy it might seem, just do it. DO it or don't, but don't linger in the maybe land anymore. Don't keep waiting for something to happen, for it to click. Make it click, find the answers, and start living.

[Jenn Equestrian]

Hey Jen:

If it makes you feel any better I think the biggest struggle for a lot of people (especially myself) is the eating portion. It's easy to take a few hours each week to put towards working out, but it seems so much more difficult to always eat well. Lately I've been under stress and eating more than you could imagine (and not of the good stuff lol). I haven't been on the scale for fear of deflation and completely saying screw everything while continuuing to eat and dropping the wokrouts completely. For now, you know your weak area. Try not to be too tough on yourself, as I think this is a struggle for many. Other ladies on here will have some excellent advice! I have a past with BDD, so as soon as I start getting sumo strict with eating other issues creep in. It's an all or nothing mentality I think we need to get away from. The biggest part is recognizing the faults and weaker areas and figuring out how to reasonably and effectively deal with them.

All the best!

[LWilson212]

When you say you are on a few days and then crazy off, it makes me wonder if you are being too restrictive. Maybe you can't go from being a junk food junkie to eating perfectly clean in one week. Take it one step at a time. Set a goal for this week that you know you can achieve, maybe that you will eat enough protein. Then set another one for the next week. Maybe it will take you six months to get in the habit of clean eating, but it will be six months well spent. I know I did not transform my eating habits overnight.
Also, looking good in a bikini, while a worthy goal, is very subjective. How will you know when you've met this goal? I know for many of us, it is a struggle to see ourselves as we truly are after having been heavier or out of shape. Set concrete goals that will feel more achievable and give you the feeling of success.

[prof41]

Hey Jen

All the advise given is excellent.

I can tell you that when I needed to lose a lot of weight, I focused alot on the emotional side of eating, more than on the actual diet and excercise portion.

A personal journal is something I did. I wrote a lot about food, and my weight and how I felt about these issues. With time, I discovered many things about myself. How I really felt when I overate, what were my triggers. I also realized alot of the issues were no so much about food, but my personal self-esteem. I swear that was 50% of the battle for me.

I then slowly integrated exercise, and then further down the road, I worked on food, eating clean etc. It was not a quick fix and it took me alot of time to lose the weight, but I made some profound changes that have affected the rest of my life.

I think you need to go easy on yourself also. We all have fallbacks, but the most important thing is to get back on track and not be so hard on yourself.

Focus on the good things you have done since January. The NROLW program is not going away, it will always be there for you. It may take longer to get thru it, but as long as you don't completely give up, you are making strides forward.

Hang on.

[realcdn]

I find that planning my meals the night before is the best way for keeping my eating in check. If I know what each meal is supposed to be I'm far less likely to stray. Tonight I've already brought in tomorrow's dinner (pork tenderloin) and it's in marinating. So it would go to waste if I didn't eat it. Every now and then I'm almost in bed and I remember that I haven't planned my meals. So I go to the computer and do it before hitting the sack. I know for a fact that I wouldn't do as well without that planning.

Someone else already mentioned my other point - what are you craving that you go off plan to have? If you must have (insert food here) it's possible that you might find a lower calories option, or work it in on higher calorie days. After 4 months of tracking I've eliminated most of the 'must have' cravings. Although to be fair I'd cut a lot of them out a few years ago. This time it was more about cutting back on the higher calorie, yet still basically good items.

[jhardy]

Thanks everyone for the feedback!

Leigh P.-- I agree that I need to really sit down and decide why I want to do this. Unfortunately, I feel like I have done that before and still never followed through. I will try again, however. Ultimately, it is because I have young boys and work with children as a teacher, my husband is also a teacher and a coach, so we are surrounded by children and teenagers. I want to be a role model for them. I want to have confidence in who I am and feel comfortable in my own body.

Jenn--First of all, I love your picture. You look so happy and fit. It makes me smile and it is inspiring. Thanks for relating to the eating battle. I truly believe that is my downfall. While I have never admitted this, in high school, I got caught up in binging and purging and I have to admit that I sometimes fall back into that pattern when things get really bad. I quickly catch myself and get out of that pattern, but I still have not learned any type of middle ground.

Leah--I had to laugh about the bikini. Although I only have about 15-20 pounds to lose (I am 5'5, 140 pounds now), I don't envision myself really ever wearing a bikini (too many stretch marks and saggy skin). I just want to feel comfortable running around in my swimsuit (tankini) with my young boys. I want to run around and play in the backyard in the summer and feel comfortable walking from the bathroom to the swimming pool when we go swimming. I just don't want the extra flab to be there that gets in the way. While it would be great to have a killer body like those in many magazines, I know that is not realistic for me and that I cannot devote the amount of time needed to accomplish that (even if it were possible). I do like the idea of a clean eating rotation. Typically, I jump in full throttle because I don't like to wait. I guess of course that hasn't worked for me so I should try to do it more slowly. Thanks!

Annie--Thanks for the words of encouragement. While I typically log my food and exercise, I rarely write about my feelings. I have not addressed the emotional side of eating. I do feel good however about sticking to this rotation for 3 months. It feels good.

Anne--I agree that preparing meals is critical. I was just talking to a friend of mine who is in the same cycle as me and we do great for a few days and then lose it during the week. This is usually because we have prepared clean meals earlier in the week and then run out later. Also, later in the week and on the weekend, there is less structure, more eating out, and more fatigue. I need to set a goal to plan meals for an entire week and see what happens. Regarding cravings, I crave anything with sugar. I have also found that I cannot have moderate amounts of sugar. If I have a little, than I get totally off track. It seems it is all or none regarding those cravings. About 10 years ago, I went a whole year without any candy, cakes, cookies, etc. and felt great. I had no cravings. Now, if I have a little, I completely lose control.

Thanks everyone for your kind works of encouragement and advice. This is such a great place to come and share. There are so many inspiring stories. Now I am off to prepare a weeks work of chicken breasts!

Jen

[rixatrix]

Yes, you can get better at tracking your food, or planning it, or staying away from temptations. Yes, you can answer the question of why you're doing all this. You can make small changes, big changes, or whatever type of changes you need to succeed. All these things are going to take time. You don't make lifestyle changes to your diet overnight - you can begin implementing new habits tomorrow, but changing your view of food takes a lot longer.

So my biggest piece of advice is this -

When you have a bad day, or two days, or week or even month, forgive yourself and move on.

So you slipped up. We all slip up. So you could've eaten better, now you know your weaknesses. Forgive yourself, and move on. Continue on the path of change without beating yourself up for your stops along the way. I think that's the biggest difference between success and failure - keep moving on the path to your goal.

Forgive yourself and move on. You know what you need to do.

[Susan4]

Try concentrating on a ten day period.. then extend out from there. We are creatures of habit and we can change those habits. You're good for a few days then you fall back to old habit. Keep stretching that boundary and eventually you'll be "in" your new clean habit. I went off my plan for a week with a pulled back and went carb overload, I felt awful, bloated right up and when I went back on low carb, I felt so much better and just swung back into the habit. It surprised me because I really don't like low carb but I do well on it so I need to stick with it. If you can make it a habit you can stick with it.

[Amblus]

Regarding cravings, I crave anything with sugar. I have also found that I cannot have moderate amounts of sugar. If I have a little, than I get totally off track. It seems it is all or none regarding those cravings.

You're not alone in this! I have the exact same issue with sugar and I really just have to not have it around at all. I allow myself specific and portioned treats on the weekend but I've definitely slipped on this lately. I just do what rixatrix suggested - forgive and move on.

I think a lot of us probably have food issues, so you're in good company! I do a LOT of pre-planning when it comes to meals and that seems to really help me stay on track.

Good luck! We're all in this together.

[nutbar]

Originally Posted by LWilson212

Take it one step at a time. Set a goal for this week that you know you can achieve, maybe that you will eat enough protein. Then set another one for the next week. Maybe it will take you six months to get in the habit of clean eating, but it will be six months well spent. I know I did not transform my eating habits overnight.

I second that. Being a perfectionist, I'm an all or nothing person, too. It irritates the crap out of me that I can't know everything and get everything right from the get-go. But, now I just set my obsessive sights on one little bit at a time, channel my evil powers for good, and things are gradually improving. (For example, upping protein levels or learning everything there is to know about broccoli or how metabolism works, etc)

What also helps me is to think of it all as a big science experiment and I'm both the guinea pig and the mad scientist. I'm not an emotional type myself but I'd imagine that viewing it that way might help remove some of the emotional attachments? Or not. Just thought.

[LisaC]

Originally Posted by realcdn

If you must have (Smartfood popcorn or Doritos) it's possible that you might find a lower calories option, or work it in on higher calorie days.

is it possible???

mmm... smartfood. I try to wait out the three days of wicked PMS when I convince myself that Cheetos really aren't that bad...

[Island Chica]

Okay, let's do a little reality check here. You're 5'5", 140 pounds. In no one's book are you "fat" or even "overweight." I'm normally 5'5", 132 pounds, and I'm a size 6 in pants, 4 in dresses. So you're what, an 8 in pants depending on how your body is shaped? You're starting from a lower weight than many people on weight loss and fitness plans, so your weight loss will be slower and more subtle. However, if you consistently work out, you should see results more quickly than someone with a lot of weight to lose.

With that out of the way, I certainly understand if you want to improve yourself. I do too. However, when all is said and done, you just have to DO it. I've admitted to myself that I am not a gym person. I hate it. So, to counteract that, we spent some money and bought a treadmill, a straight bar with weights, and some heavier free weights. An investment? Certainly. But, it might be worth thinking about if consistency in your workouts is lacking because you think you don't have the time or energy to haul yourself to the gym. I have my charts and calendars up in my home gym and it's so easy to keep track, I know I'm just plain lazy if I don't do it.

Second, you may want to adjust your goals slightly. Instead of looking at that big 20 pound mountain (and frankly, I'd be surprised if you can get to 120 lbs when lifting on the NROL4W plan), why don't you make it a goal to lose 5 pounds by May 15th? That will already knock you down a size and make you look/feel much better in a bikini. It's also a very realistic and slow loss plan and will give you the opportunity to enjoy some "favorite" foods along with the healthier stuff.

Third, remember that no one is going to do this for you. It's all you. You can set goals and write in a journal all you want. However, if you don't make the daily commitment to treat yourself better, it's never going to work. I'm not a mom yet, but most of my friends and family have children. I know mom's often feel guilty for doing things for themselves. However, taking care of yourself is not just for you - it's for your kids and husband too. You might as well start now, because developing healthy habits only gets harder the longer you wait and the more ingrained the bad habits get into your daily life.

Fourth, try keeping a food diary for a week on an online site. They're really easy to use. You can chart patterns that way - but be honest.

And lastly - remember, this isn't a race and you don't get an award if you eat perfectly. Frankly, perfection is boring. What's life without an ice cream cone or french fries every now and then?

[DDRdiva]

Jen, you're at a healthy BMI! You don't need to lose weight! Maybe concentrate on just gaining strength and lifting heavier weights. Muscles will make you look great in a swimsuit.

I have the same problem with getting sugar cravings. I found that eating a protein/carb snack right after a workout, whether a milk shake or peanut butter or turkey sandwich, helps keep the sugar demons from attacking an hour later.

Like others said, set one goal at a time and keep looking ahead instead of beating yourself up about the past.