I do 30lbs each arm as well...so he obviously hasn't been training his women hard enough.

Does your gym have any small magnetic weights to add to the ends of your dumbbells? If not, I think slowing the reps down is a good option. And when you can safely lift the 35lbs bells into position, try doing a couple and then bumping back down to 30lbs. if you need to. You'll eventually move up. Good luck!