OFFICIAL WOMEN'S CHALLENGE: Weekly Motivation etc Thread 6/26

[missjane]

Julie, I hope you don't mind me starting off the week 6 thread!

So, here we are in week 6! We are down to 33 official participants. Let's keep it strong this month so we don't lost any others!

Question of the week: What do your significant others think of your fitness journey? Are they your biggest cheerleader? Or, are they sometimes your stumbling block?

[AnnetteW]

My family is super supportive. My husband has been going to the gym now regularly also, though he doesn't follow any specific plan and just does this and that. He's building muscle though, so I'm not going to complain.

My daughters are also cool about it. They WANT mom to get fit and trim because they know I'll spend money on nice clothes and then they can wear them.

The downside is the meal planning though. My husband loves to cook, and he plans meals for the week. He doesn't have any interest in eating a certain way and if sausages and mashed potatoes come to mind, he'll put them on his menu. He has been getting better though, and asking me what he can plan that I can eat. I often tell him to cook what he wants and I'll eat something else if I can't work around it, but I know it kind of hurts his feelings. He wants me to eat what he cooks.

So last night we had tacos, I made a taco salad.

Part of what is difficult for him to understand is that sometimes I have control of my diet, and then the next day I won't. I guess he doesn't realize I'm trying to get better a little everyday. He sees it as, well, she ate potatoes yesterday, what's wrong with spaghetti today? He's a big carb eater, a big boy (with a lot of fat to lose, but he's never been lean his entire life, but very muscular under his fat.) He also doesn't mind me overweight, loves me how I am. Which is awesome, I can't complain.

I just want us to be fit and healthy. We don't need to have perfect bodies, we need bodies that will let us live long lives together. We are both widowed, and a healthy life together is my #1 priority. I hope as I further reach my goals I can encourage him to work more on his diet, go to the doctor for regular checkups, etc.

[fengshway]

my husband is my biggest supporter. He loves the focus on weight lifting--we share this interest. He loves how strong I am getting. we are the other's biggest supporter and fan, but we also can have a tendency to overdo the food thing together--we actively work on it, because he has weight related health issues. we agree on not bringing certain trigger foods into the house. but sometimes we stray together for a meal, it is part of life! overall, we have both made major changes in how we workout and eat, and the results show in how we look and feel.

sometimes I get comments from random people at work that are irritating. like, "you are just skin and bones now" WTF???? take a look at my pics, folks, skin and bones would not be the descriptor. I get annoyed by the "don't lose anymore weight you will look old" comments. but I disregard them. my mom just had stents placed in her heart. getting leaner is essential for me.

[ZTAKPsi]

I don't have a significant other so I can't answer this exactly, but I'll just consider my friends my "significant others."

As far as cheerleaders/stumbling blocks, it's a bit of both for me. My friends definitely notice how hard I work and how healthy I eat and they also notice the difference in my attitude, body, energy level, etc. and I get some great comments from them. They also come to me for advice/help which makes me feel good.

I wouldn't exactly say my friends are stumbling blocks, but I will say it makes it hard for me when I work my ass off and most of my friends don't really have to. Of course, their goals are different than mine, but all of my friends are in pretty good shape and/or skinny. I, of course, am doing this for muscle and fat loss. I'm sure I've got quite a few skinny fat friends from what I can tell though.

The other thing that is hard for me, being single, is that the single life really revolves around going out and most of that going out is revolved around drinking. I will say, since the smoking ban in MD, it actually isn't so bad to go out and drink drink soda water w/lime, so that has been nice. But, when you're dating, or trying to date!, everyone wants to meet up for a drink, or do some sort of activity around drinking. I'll have wine here and there, but in general, when the single life revolves around "going out" all the time, it just doesn't interest me. Hense...why I'm still single I think! haha I've done the bars for a decade, which is why I have this fat on me...so it's been a change to explain my new lifestyle and goals to friends that just don't "get" it.

[Littlemermaidklb]

Well I'm not married, but my boyfriend is definitely proud of me. He's been really big into lifting for years, and was ripped when I met him and he's ripped now, lol. When I lived closer we would go to the gym together but it got a little difficult because somehow we'd end up being there for over 2 hours with alternating sets with each other and figuring out what exercises to do, etc.

He was with me when I bought this book actually and I read it in a day and a half and couldn't wait to start it. I like having a set program to do, it takes so much less time. So he's incredibly supportive and proud of me when it comes to the lifting.

As far as food, he eats healthy and isn't a "stumbling block" for me.... but he doesn't really understand why I'm tracking my food. He thinks I eat well enough and that if I'm lifting I'm burning anything bad I do eat. He has an obnoxiously fast metabolism and eats a boatload of calories (healthy calories, but still) a day and will never gain any fat. I'm what people on here I guess would call "skinny fat". I'm 134 at 5'4.5 but when we went to LA fitness recently they measured our bodyfat and mine was about 28% and his?..... 4% (Brat! lol). Because I don't look "fat" he thinks I'm insane when I say I need to lose fat. So while he's not a stumbling block when it comes to food he's just a little more... "lackidasical" about it than I am beacuse he doesn't need to worry about it. Like I said, he eats very healthy... but when I visit we tend to go out or there's family functions with lots of food, etc.

But food is the hardest part of this for me anyway.... so I really can't say it has much to do with him, haha.

[Karen411]

DH is definitely a cheerleader, but he can be a (very small) stumbling block, too. He likes me the way I am no matter what that way is. He's supportive of me getting fit if that's what I want, but doesn't think that it's anything I have to do as I am fine as I am according to him. He doesn't mind all of the equipment, workouts, different food for me, etc, so that's wonderful.

He is skinny with no weight problems and eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He likes junk food, so it's in the house. He doesn't like fruits/veggies/lean protein that much, so I have to plan around him. I will keep having to work on the food thing in that way, but part of that is me, so I don't blame it entirely on him.

[GinnyLou]

Great question, Jane!
What do your significant others think of your fitness journey? Are they your biggest cheerleader? Or, are they sometimes your stumbling block?

Can I quote part of Karen's answer?

Originally Posted by Karen411

DH is definitely a cheerleader, but he can be a (very small) stumbling block, too.
He is skinny with no weight problems and eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He likes junk food, so it's in the house. He doesn't like fruits/veggies/lean protein that much, so I have to plan around him. I will keep having to work on the food thing in that way, but part of that is me, so I don't blame it entirely on him.

My DH used to be a real pain in the butt and disrespectful of my workouts and eating. I don't think he ever meant to be such a pain, but truth be told, he was.
Now, in the past 8 or 9 months he has been much better and doesn't give me grief for my gym time. Also, he works evenings which is when I go to the gym, so it isn't a matter of taking time away from him.
Fast forward to this month. He picked my copy of NROL, read it and has been doing the workouts, consistently for 2 weeks and that is huge. LOL
He loves the program, raves about it and now repeats things back to me that I have been trying to tell him. LOL

[Karen411]

I wanted to add that I know I'm never going to get DH to formally "work out," but he does have an active job and is active in his daily life, so he just doesn't feel that he needs to do more.

He doesn't mind if I work out, but like Ginger said, it doesn't take a lot of time away from him, so it's not an issue.

Ginger, that's great that your DH is getting into NROL, too. Funny how he "hears" the information from the book and not from you . That's men for you . (At least the men I know, not all men, since I know quite a few men are reading this.)

[dillytl]

I'm going to quote Karen, too:

He likes me the way I am no matter what that way is. He's supportive of me getting fit if that's what I want, but doesn't think that it's anything I have to do as I am fine as I am according to him.

My DH is definately my biggest supporter/cheerleader! He does all of the cooking, and he's always willing to cook what I need/want to fit into my macros for the day! He never complains when I take time to get my workouts in! He also works out, but isn't quite as strict with his diet.

[Susan4]

Mine is a bit of both... He really needs to decide to do something himself but he hasn't. For the whole time I've been losing weight since my hysterectomy in the Fall of 06 he's been "going to start soon". Sigh. Maybe someday. He does trip me up on food fairly often but I call him on it and mainly resist. Meanwhile, he loved me when I was fat and depressed and he loves me when I'm fit and getting towards my goal weight... Big Points There

[mel]

My husband and I were married when we were 18. At that time, he had a wrestler's body, and I weighed 105. While pregnant, I got up to 157 lbs, and he stayed thin. For years after that, I was in the 130s and we went to the gym, but we weren't super serious. He got a desk job and got up to 250.

When we moved about 7 years ago, he decided it was time to get serious, and I decided to do it with him. He lost 50 lbs and is a beast, and I started my way to getting lean and ripped. We have gone through every step of our exercising and eating together. He was my coach for along time, teaching me everything he was learning. He pushed me to lift, taught me the right things, and knows just what to say to motivate me.

A few months ago, he sent me the link to the HELL program, and then dared me to do it. He knows me too well. Of course I did it. He is my biggest encourager because he doesn't listen to my whining and he won't let me be too negative. He eats anything I cook, but he knows when I need to cheat too.

Basically, we've grown up together, and that's just the way it's been with our journey through exercise. We do it all together, and I never would be where I am today without him.

The rest of my family and friends, however, think I'm obsessed and a little weird. My parents look at me like I'm an alien, but they are really proud of me. My mom always complements me with this sound in her voice like she can't believe it's me. This would make more sense to you if you had seen the completely unathletic, bookwormy, homley girl I was in school.

At work, I hear all kinds of things. Some students are impressed, most of them just don't understand. My boss, who is a basketball coach too and very into fitness always jokes about me getting too big. Old man.

Overall, though, because Chris' support is so amazing, the rest is just white noise.

mel

[SpacecityPaula]

Bob is my biggest cheerleader and he love my muscles. Because I've been sick I haven't been working out and it shows, usually I can beat him when we tickle fights or wrestle. Not the other night! He made some smart comment about it and I just looked at him and said, Give me 2 weeks and I'll be stronger than you again.

Bob knows he needs to change his lifestyle and he's made some real efforts over the past few months.... but until we get through the stuff with his dad, he can't commit to it whole hog.

[UConnJulie]

Thanks Jane (for starting the weekly thread among other things!!)!!

Great question ... busy busy busy, but I'll be back tonight or tomorrow to answer ...

[LadyNoir]

Great question! My husband is the is the quite cheerleader. He doesn't say much but supports me in little ways like buying exactly what I put on the grocery list, even if it's something he's never heard of. When we are tight on money and I drop a load on protein powder, he won't question it. He eats everything I make and always compliments me on it, even if he gets hungry an hour later. LOL!

I would say it's a stumbling block but he sometimes worries that I might over do it and is usually telling me to take a day off.

[xpatchouli]

My husband is my biggest cheerleader, always encouraging me to stay on the Weight Watchers plan and to go to get moving. He knows I always feel more energized and confident when I work out; he always reminds me of those feelings when I waiver, especially at 6am when the alarm clock buzzes! Not only does he support me in my efforts, he tells me daily that he loves my body whatever shape it may be in.

Weighing in at 155 at 5'11, (5 lbs more than me and I'm 5'4), my husband is naturally thin. Though he eats healthy and has a high metabolism, he just consumes more at meal time.

As for friends, I've kept quiet on my challenge to become stronger and leaner in 2008. They'll see results this summer!

We're a good team!

[prof41]

Hi All

I'm not an official challenger, but wanted to add a little story to this thread.

My husband is a great cheerleader, but my 13 year old son cracked me up the other day. If you know 13 yr old boys, you know they don't usually mince words and mine's not one to throw around compliments, specially to his mom.

Anyway the other day, I was comparing before and after pics, and he pulls up beside me and says: ''Hey it's working, see flab over your hips is smaller, and the flappy stuff that hangs under your arms (bat wings) isn't ''there as much''

MY BABY....what more can I say