Getting your head straight - JP Fitness Forums

rixatrix · 02-09-2008, 11:25 AM

This is a question about getting fit in general, for women or men or anyone who's gone from overweight to fit.

I have had a problem in the past where I'll begin a weight lifting program, see great results, hit a plateau and get very discouraged. Once discouraged, the motivation falls apart.

I've been doing a lot of reading about self-image. I've read this article by Tom Venuto and I think it's absolutely spot on. I need a change in self-image.

Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do to shift your self-image from "I'm overweight and/or lazy" to "I'm healthy, strong and fit." What are the things you do now that you didn't used to do? I don't mean things like going to the gym, but things OUTSIDE of working out.

For example, I know I need a different pair of weight lifting shoes. I'm wearing cross trainers now and nearly lost my balance the other week doing squats because there's so much cushion in the heel. If I think of myself as "overweight and lazy," I think, "Why get new shoes if I'll just quit?" If I think of myself as healthy, fit and strong, I think "I LOVE doing squats. These shoes will be a great asset when I'm in the gym, three times a week, every week."

I'd love to hear other people's own thoughts and experiences with this.

stingo · 02-09-2008, 11:38 AM

Good question - I'll respond at length later, but I've found that I still have my big body in mind when going to do things. Like going up stairs, or running or anything else physical. I'm surprised by how different these things are now.

Anna21 · 02-09-2008, 11:51 AM

This has been me exactly! A couple of years ago I started doing Turbo Jam and did see good results - but the day my hubby complimented me and said he could see definition in my abs - poof! I all of a sudden had no energy, no motivation, and honestly have barely done a workout of it since then! At the time, I beat myself up so much because I knew I had been doing good and knew I was seeing a change and could not for the life of me figure out why I just had no more interest in it and could not get motivated to save my life. I have bought NROL4W but once again, I have not started. I tell myself I am waiting to hire someone to show me how to do everything. After reading the article, I wonder now about that because I definitely have the self image of a fat slobby person. Thanks for the article!
Anna

rixatrix · 02-09-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna21

This has been me exactly!

I think this is a lot of people. And I think this is a lot of women, which is not to say it doesn't effect men, but that as women, I think our self-worth is particularly tied up a lot in the way we look. (And that's a whole other thread.) So all that self-image stuff just adds another layer of complexity to getting fit.

Because honestly, I LOVE to lift weights. I LOVE it. I went to the gym today, loaded up a barbell for squats and decided to throw on another twenty pounds (I just switched from 15 reps to 12). I had a half-crazy smile on my face. And after my Stage 1 workout this morning, I decided on whim to do 10 minutes of HIIT on the bike (talk about spiking your heart rate). Wee! I like to work out hard and I love holding my own in the male-dominated weight room.

But it literally feels like my own brain is against me sometimes, and that's what I'm working on right now. The working out is a cake walk compared to the mental struggle when I'm not getting the numbers I want. If only there was a switch to turn off those spontaneous negative thoughts...

LaraT · 02-09-2008, 12:00 PM

There is a book, I found very helpful in overcoming self-esteem problems. It is geared towards people dealing with depression but addresses self esteem a lot (low self esteem is the root of many people's depression)
Amazon.com: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated: Books: David D. Burns

what has helped me the most is realizing that no matter what I do (short of major plastic surgery/lipo) I will never have the body of a model. I am short, with shorter legs, very pear shaped, etc. I can be the best ME that I can be following a lifestyle that is maintainable and enjoyable.

rixatrix · 02-09-2008, 05:15 PM

Lara, I totally agree about being the best ME that I can be. I work with a girl who's nearly 6' tall, naturally very thin, crazy long legs. And I'm short and stockyish. I joke that we're Abbot and Costello. But I like what my body can do - I can put on muscle easily and I'm strong and healthy. She eats junk a lot and does cardio, when she exercises at all. I wouldn't trade places for the world.

sidhe · 02-09-2008, 05:40 PM

This is something I'm dealing with right now, and really working on. I'm at a point where I'm getting physical results. I'm noticing lots of little changes in my body. So how am I responding? I'm slacking off! I've been noticing for the last week that I'm letting things slide--making more lenient food choices, skipping days at the gym, allowing in tortilla chips at a restaurant.

I read the article that you linked to last week, and I really gave it a lot of thought. I've been sitting down every morning (I know this sounds corny), looking at my goals and writing a letter to myself, telling myself what I'm going to do today to get me closer to my goals. I've actually done a whole lot better for the last few days. I'm actively combatting the "that's not me!" subconscious thought patterns and trying to replace them with very proactive, action-oriented thoughts.

prof41 · 02-09-2008, 06:34 PM

I think sometimes, when you have weight issues, you start to accept yourselves as ''fat'' and start beleiving you will alway be that way. So when you start to change, your mind does not change at the same pace as your body does. So once you are healthy in body, you still have your ''fat'' person issues.

I did alot of ''emotional'' work as well as physcial work to lose weight. I had to really learn what my ''little voice'' was saying to me. I actually wrote a list of ideas I realized I had about myself....I'm lazy, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm clumsy etc...and beside each list I wrote the opposite (or positive version) I'm beautiful, I'm lean and strong etc...

I used to get a little mantra going, and would repeat to myself the postive version of my actual beliefs (afirmations if you will)

It's odd how, at the beginning when I did this I felt like such a liar. Goes to show you sometimes how hard and mean we are to ourselves. But over time I started to beleive this stuff and I truly beleived it helped me with maintaining my motivation in weight loss, thru plateaus etc.

Not only that but it made me become kinder to myself. No one is as mean to us are we are ourselves. We need to learn to cut ourselves some slack.

Alot of this stuff can seem corny and new age, but for me anyway, I think that cleaning up my emotional issues with weight was 50% of the battle.

Good luck

DirtyMartini · 02-09-2008, 08:50 PM

Great article, thanks for posting it. When I was training for a long run & getting tired (but knew I wasn't done yet), I would just repeat to myself under my breath, "you can do this" and match it to the tempo of my footing. Cheezy I know but it worked (just like the article says).

I'm trying to focus on "I'm strong" this year... something I've never really been.

(though I still use "come on, you can do this!" when I'm just eeking out the last reps of a set.)

marygrace · 02-09-2008, 09:03 PM

i often run into that situation where as soon as i begin to see the results i've worked so hard to attain, i begin to slack off. i think that when people have that sort of reaction, it says certain things about their approach towards fitness, namely that they do it for vanity above anything else. for me, the number one thing i've always wanted is a flat stomach. as soon as my stomach starts to flatten out from whatever exercise/dieting i've been doing, i get lazy. then the belly returns and it starts all over.

i think that anyone who has an issue like that needs to stop looking at exercise and dieting as merely a means to make you look better. if you really change your mindset to understanding that you are keeping your body healthy by eating right and exercising, it might be harder to slack off. i've found that getting involved with NROL4W has started me on the path of adopting this mindset.

kfisherx · 02-09-2008, 10:04 PM

I agree with MaryGrace.... The lack of desire is a result of a misplaced objective or end goal. What do you really want out of being a fit person? Find that one thing that will drive you and latch onto it. There are more than one thread on this board about reasons why people work out.

You say that you love to workout but yet you fail to see results. I am wondering what that is about. Is it because you eat emotionally and maybe don't track it well enough? Are you looking deeply enough into the real physical reasons behind your lack of progress?

rixatrix · 02-10-2008, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kfisherx

You say that you love to workout but yet you fail to see results. I am wondering what that is about. Is it because you eat emotionally and maybe don't track it well enough? Are you looking deeply enough into the real physical reasons behind your lack of progress?

I can see results fairly easily - for the first four or six weeks. Then I usually hit a plateau. This time around, I'm anticipating that plateau and trying to problem solve it before I get there, so it won't be so discouraging. You're right in that I need to set some vanity-free goals. More "do 15 regular-style push ups" and less "lose 10 pounds this month."

I also think I have a tendency to drop the calories too low to push the weight loss. In the last two weeks on NROL4W, I've been ravenous and eating a good amount. Haven't lost any pounds on the scale, but bodyfat is dropping. Every week I like to sit down and plan my meals out for each day, and take Sunday to grocery shop and cook huge batches of healthy things for the week ahead. So today, I'll be reevaluating my calories, planning out the week, and cooking. And writing out my goals, both physical and mental.

Like I said before, I think what's really holding me back is my old self-image of a girl who's chubby and a little bigger than everyone, someone who's doomed to fail. I know the only thing that keeps me back at times is myself. Crossing that hurdle and surviving whatever plateau that comes at me, while maintaining my workouts and continuing to get stronger, is REALLY my goal for this program.

kfisherx · 02-10-2008, 12:04 PM

From a logical perspective I wonder why you are hitting a plateau at 5-6 weeks into it. Is it because you stop pushing yourself or do you get a little lax on the diet? If neither of those things is your body adjusting? All of these things are fairly easily fixed. I think it is good that you are approaching this from a mental percpective but to fix the problem perhaps you can also dive into what is the problem as well. A two-pronged approach if you will.