I've never had a great body image. Mainly resulting from my life of being a "nerd", not wearing makeup, and hanging out as one of the guys my entire life, I suppose. Anyway, I've always been "the smart one" and let my friends deal with clothes and makeup. I feel entirely out of my element in a gym atmosphere, department store, or around women who wear pastels and lipstick. I curse, spit into the wind on downhills, am tacky at times, and wear neutrals to avoid having to match my clothes; I never thought I would be like the "eye candy" that my guy friends oogled at. Instead, I decided to focus on being strong and fit. Anyway, I've been working with Josh @ JP Fitness to prepare for race season, and, for the first time in my life started strength training. Today, I took a walk downtown to get my head straight before work, and some "out of my league" type of guy literally ran out of the Capitol Hotel to talk to me. Okay, this never happens. Ever. Things like that happened all day. One after the other. For the first time in my life, today, I didn't look at feminine women longingly wishing I were them. Maybe this whole strength training thing is making me hot; or Josh is just the best money I have ever spent.
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Live cheap. Play hard. I love to climb hills.
I did it again... I forgot that when you leave this screen, it erases everything you've written. DOH!
I wrote you a lengthy response but, in short, my point was just that there are lots of guys who are much more attracted to women who are more interested in staying fit over doing their nails. I think you've just been hanging out with the wrong guys.
My wife works out as much as I do and I believe that a relationship works much better when you can share something like that rather it only being important to just one person.
Also, sounds like you're going to have to update your own self-image. If you are weight training and working out regularly, you very well may becoming "hot" in your own right! Just please build on who you are and work from there and don't try to morph into one of those women who you THINK "all" the guys are after.
I was just relaying the epiphany of, for the first time in my life, being comfortable in my own skin. I'm fairly young, and it's been a battle, like it is for most twenty something women my age to reach that level of comfortability with their bodies. I lost about forty pounds last year, and until yesterday I held the image of that body in my head. It's just nice to be confident and comfortable not only in my mind, but also with my body. I'm not too interested in men right now; I'd much rather live my life and let that area take care of itself.
I can attest to Sarah's "hotness"... She is a total babe. Sarah, you are doing a great job, and you have a great attitude. Keep up that hard work and enjoy this time with yourself, as it appears you are doing already. I would feel sorry for her for the way that Josh relentlessly tortures her in the gym, but she just keeps a smile on her face and keeps on truckin'! [img]smile.gif[/img]
It's not about the "hotness" factor. I will always think that the brain is the most attractive organ on a human's body. Which is why I tend to date geeks, I guess. It's just nice to feel confident.
Originally posted by sarah: I'm not too interested in men right now; I'd much rather live my life and let that area take care of itself.
That's the sound of someone who's got it together! My daughter is 19 and I have to admit that she's very attractive but the part that I most admire is that she doesn't feel "incomplete" when she doesn't have a boyfriend.
I just think this demonstrates that your perspective is very mature and probably much healthier for you overall!
OK, since we're opening up about our insecurities....
I can relate to the life of growing up a 'skinny nerd' who wasn't that good looking (OK, so the word 'nerd' probably wasn't even around when I was growing up). First I was the smallest kid in school. Hell, when I graduated HS, I was 5'5" tall and 135 lbs. Too small for my HS football team, where even the kicker weighed more than that. And I remained the skinny kid until I stopped growing senior year in college.
Then, somewhere along the line after getting married, I got fat. Not obese, just a big old gut. Size 36 waist on a 5'9-1/2" guy is NOT attractive. I finally lost all of that nastiness 2 years ago and am down to a size 30 waist again for the first time since college. And I've finally gotten my body in pretty good shape - you know those proportionality calculators? Except for my calves, they show my measurements to be just right (for what they are worth anyway [img]smile.gif[/img] ).
But, other things crop up: losing my hair. Jeez, I went down to Orlando for vacation this spring and met JP's brother and had this HUGE infected cyst on the side of my neck! It was like I had my unborn deformed twin in there (My Big Fat Greek Wedding reference for those who don't get that). His brother must have thought I was deformed or something - JP, tell him it's gone now and I don't normally look like that! Please.
My point in this long diatribe is that there is always something that makes us feel unattractive. That's why even people who are generally considered attractive still are unhappy with some part of the way they look. Sounds like you have your priorities straight Sarah...the person is ultimately much more important than the package. With everything I had going against me, I managed to land someone at a young age who is physically very attractive (my wife still turns heads), but more importantly who I get along with well. And I do get my female friends complimenting me on my chest or my arms or my rear - certainly, that feels good.
If you're getting the looks now, enjoy it though. And know that some guys like women who are not comfortable in a "department store, or around women who wear pastels and lipstick. [who]curse, spit into the wind on downhills...and wear neutrals to avoid having to match... clothes." What you are describing is one of my good friends who is very athletic and thinks she is not that attractive. She doesn't realize the looks she even gets from guys. But she does...and she gets a lot of them. Her four siblings are brothers and always 'hung around with the guys' and she says maybe that is why she is like that. Are you the only female child in your family, by any chance?
Hell, I think you are attractive sight unseen....because you ride your mtb, and do it alone and love it, and can take care of yourself and are confident and speak your mind. Those things right there are VERY attractive. Too bad I'm not single. And in Little Rock. And a lot younger. And a better mtb rider. And better looking. Aww hell, forget it!
Hell, I think you are attractive sight unseen....because you ride your mtb, and do it alone and love it, and can take care of yourself and are confident and speak your mind. Those things right there are VERY attractive. Too bad I'm not single. And in Little Rock. And a lot younger. And a better mtb rider. And better looking. Aww hell, forget it!
LOL!!! I know just how you feel brother! In just 4 more years I will be old enough to be these women's dads! We are not necessarily becoming less attractive, just more invisible, and I am not sure which one is worse.
Jeez, I went down to Orlando for vacation this spring and met JP's brother and had this HUGE infected cyst on the side of my neck! It was like I had my unborn deformed twin in there (My Big Fat Greek Wedding reference for those who don't get that). His brother must have thought I was deformed or something - JP, tell him it's gone now and I don't normally look like that! Please.
I will make sure to tell him that your seperation from your conjoined twin was successful. [img]tongue.gif[/img] If you had been a few months earlier to see my bro you would have seen him right in the middle of dealing with Bell's Palsey. The entire left side of his face was paralyzed. It was kinda weird. He pretty much recovered, but it was stressful for him though (stress is probably what caused in the first place).
Originally posted by Jean-Paul: LOL!!! I know just how you feel brother! In just 4 more years I will be old enough to be these women's dads! We are not necessarily becoming less attractive, just more invisible, and I am not sure which one is worse.
Hah, with that stable of beauties you have working for you? I think I've mentioned it before JP, but can't you hire one or two average looking gals? Even your men look pretty!
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Invisible is a good way to put it. Wouldn't consider us. 'Tweeners' - not old enough to have graying hair and be hot like say, Harrison Ford or even Sean Connery (although we'll never have that undefinable quality he has anyway). But not young enough to be swooned over. Tweeners. Name me one 40 -50 year old celebrity young women think is hot...I can't think of one.
Sarah, I think Steven Tyler (55) and Sean Connery (73) are well older than 50...they fall into that Harrison Ford category I mentioned. You've got me on Bruce Willis (48) and Nic Cage (39), although I will have to say that I'm not sure many young women think Nic Cage is 'hot' (not discounting your opinions about him though ). Of course, I have no close female friends in the 18-25 age group either, so what do I know....
Who, male or female, is "hot"? There's a complicating factor when we ask this question about figures in popular culture, people whom we see at several stages of their long careers. Elizabeth Taylor in "Giant" still raises my blood pressure,ditto Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's). We get to see Sean Connery at several ages. And we are constantly serenaded by the dead--Sinatra, and, in a really weird one, Natalie Cole singing a duet with her late father,
Our technology now enables the dear departed to linger among us for years far exceeding their lifespan.
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"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument." William Gibbs McAdoo. US Vice-President under Woodrow Wilson.
I just happen to be one of those young women who consider older men attractive. Some of my peers may not, but I think it's far more attractive to have your head on straight, treat others with respect, and be comfortable with yourself. There's something sexy about life experience, intelligent conversation, and the ability to distinguish the really important things in life, that attracts me to older men. And in my personal, albeit limited, experience, most twenty-something men have not reached that level. I'm not saying that I don't date men in their twenties; my ex will be 27 this year, but he was also not what society would call "attractive" at 6'2, 120 pounds, and a computer geek. As a matter of fact, my family told me that he wasn't good looking enough for me, but, even after his cheating on me, I still think he's beautiful, even if he still doesn't know what he wants. To me, being "hot" is an individual thing.
"For the first time in my life, today, I didn't look at feminine women longingly wishing I were them. Maybe this whole strength training thing is making me hot; or Josh is just the best money I have ever spent."
Sarah, I think your mind has finally integrated with your new body! Yes, strength training makes all the difference in the world when you aren't fussing with make up, trendy clothes, etc and just want to be a strong woman. Cosmetics and clothes can't transform a sloppy body like working out can. Even if you're wearing a T shirt and boxers or a sexy dress - a healthy body shows.
I think it's awesome that your fitness level is accentuating your femininity on a new level. So many women think that weights will make them "bulky" and "look like a guy," but really it just exposes the real curves of a woman!
I also agree with you whole-heartedly on the "men over 30" idea. It's something about a distinguished man who has a clue about life.
Just please build on who you are and work from there and don't try to morph into one of those women who you THINK "all" the guys are after.
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